Offerings to a Porcelain God:

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Max

You know how I definitely did not want to start my day? With vomit. Yuck! I was draped over the toilet, heaving my guts out.

Nudge had noticed my flying leap out of bed, and despite my waving arms (my mouth being otherwise occupied at the moment), she pulled back my hair and looked away repeating over and over again, "Ew, ew, ew, ew!"

Maya had been jostled awake as well. I may have stepped on her in my race to the bathroom. She stood in the doorway, arms crossed and a concerned look on her face. Just what I needed, an audience to the Max pukes her guts out show. I hung over the cool porcelain. Somehow the coolness made me feel better, but at the same time I was basically hugging a toilet. Gross. Nudge started in, trying to feel my forehead. I snapped. "Get. Out."

"But –" Nudge began.

"Just go. I'm fine. Go!"

I practically pushed Nudge and Maya out of the bathroom, Nudge protesting loudly the whole way. I locked the door and shouted through it, "Peace. Five minutes. I'm fine!"

Finally, quiet. Voice! Tell me. Talk to me.

…

Talk to me.

Talk to me!

TALK TO ME!

"Just tell me!"

I was shouting at a bathroom ceiling and didn't register the quiet knocks on the door at first. "Max, are you okay?"

Crap. On a stick. I tried to rearrange my face so that I didn't look like a deranged person who yells at ceilings. I'm fine, I'm fine. I reached for the tube of toothpaste and squirted some directly into my mouth, swishing it around. Foam leaked through, dripping disgustingly to the floor. "Ah'm fine," I gurgled and spat into the sink.

The door unlocked easily, but Fang stood outside it. His arms were crossed. He was suspicious. Crap, crap, crap! "Could you move?"

I tried to push past him. He put his arms on the door frame, blocking me in. "Are you sick?"

The flock never gets sick. "No, Fang. What's with the interrogation?"

I pushed past him and went to pick up my backpack from the floor. Nudge and Maya had already packed up and were sitting with the others outside on the picnic benches. It was just me and Fang and he was not going to let this go.

"You're hiding something."

"No, I'm not."

"Did your Voice say something?"

He pissed me off so much sometimes. "No, Fang. Not everything is your business!"

I stomped out of the motel room. He was so stupid! And stubborn! And right. But that was beside the point. "Let's go," I barked and no one argued.

That's the way I like it. Some people in this group could learn to take orders better. Everyone gave me a wide berth in the air. Fang was way off to the left, completely unreadable. Dylan and Maya hovered below, with Holden attached to Dylan. They had rigged some kind of harness with a couple of belts so Holden was a little less terrified. Gazzy and Iggy were together and talking animatedly. Probably planning something they were lucky I couldn't hear about. Then there was Nudge, shooting me worried glances now and again.

I worked my way over to Nudge. "Hey girlie. Thanks for helping me this morning. The cookies must have disagreed with my stomach. I did eat like thirty of them."

I smiled and hoped she bought it. Nudge asked, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah Nudge. I feel great. Really."

It was true. I didn't feel nauseous, but gnawing worry, there was plenty of that. At least I got Nudge off my back about it, because she immediately reverted to her usual bubbly self. Dylan swooped over to be with us. Holden only grimaced a little. Good for him. We all chatted pleasantly, me more than Nudge. Dylan really was completely gorgeous. Who wouldn't be attracted to that? It was nice to smile and laugh and not worry for a moment.

Fang sulked further off, determinedly not looking at me. Serves him right.

"Oh Ma-ax! I looove you!"

Fang? What the hell? I swiveled around. Fang was confused too. Everyone was nearly doubled up with laughter. Well, except Dylan. But what in the world possessed Fang to say that? I could feel a deep blush cover my face, despite myself. Then Fang streaked after Gazzy, who was doing loop-de-loops. Oh. I should have known.

Fang latched onto Gazzy, giving him a midair noogie, only to recoil quickly when Gazzy lived up to his namesake. Leave it to the nine year old to be, well, a nine year old boy. At least the tension was diffused, for now.

We had a pretty uneventful flight before we landed in Tennessee to get some food and sleep. If Fang and I weren't speaking, at least we weren't clawing each other's eyes out. Somewhere Gazzy had picked up a newspaper. Gen 77 was all over the cover and Angel's sweet smile was front and center.

I read through the article one more time while everyone made themselves comfortable in the trees. That's right, we were sleeping in trees again. It's the bird in us. Anyway, the article said that Angel was meeting with the President tomorrow in Rosslyn, Virginia. I could not begin to describe the chills that crept down my spine on that one. She could brainwash him and get him to do anything. There was no doubt in my mind she would do it too. I had been her conscience there and who knew what the Inner Circle people had done to her, my poor baby.

I had taken the first watch and everyone else was peacefully asleep on their respective branches. Except, of course, Fang. The last person I wanted to talk to right now. "Go to sleep Fang," I whispered.

He didn't say anything for a while. Typical. Then he whispered back, "I wish you'd tell me when something is wrong."

Ugh! Why was everything with Fang so difficult? Dylan was easy. Not like that, you perv. The thing was that Fang was me. We might as well be one person. Dylan never clued in, so he was easy to deal with. Fang always knew, even when I didn't want him to.

I silently dropped down to Fang's branch. "I wish you wouldn't ignore me."

That's right Fang. Two can play at this game. He blinked, surprised. "It's what we do. Shut things out."

He was right. Dog crates will do that to a person. We shut down and kept things to ourselves so we couldn't get hurt. I don't easily share my problems. Fang doesn't talk a whole lot. Fang added, maybe a bit hesitantly, "But you should tell me."

Damn. "I'm scared Fang. I'm not really sure what's happening."

It was kind of the truth. He pulled me to him in a sort of sideways hug. His shoulder was that comforting. He was strong and beautiful and he knew me like no one else. And I was so scared. He didn't say anything about how wet his shoulder was getting, but I couldn't turn off the crying. He pulled me ever closer, wrapping his wing around me too. I cried, and he let me.

When finally I quieted into hiccups and deep breaths, he took his hands and cupped my face, leaning over so we were touching foreheads. "You can tell me."

The crying had helped for some reason. I started talking, trying to keep the tremble out of my whispered voice. "The white coats…in that meeting? They said I failed as a leader and then…then later they said I would be part of a new project."

I took a deep breath. "Nooooo! Ahhh! Argh!'

We jumped up; looking for the Erasers, but it was just Holden, dangling from his tree limb. He had rolled in his sleep and was now hanging awkwardly. Luckily, he'd used the belt harness to attach himself to the tree or he'd be a splat on the ground right now. The screaming had woken everyone up.

I wiped my face and followed Fang. Together we lifted Holden back up to safety. Gazzy couldn't stop laughing and I shot him a look. It didn't do much. I tried to be comforting for Holden's sake. "Don't worry about it. Trees are hard to sleep in when you're not used to them. Gazzy fell out of one once."

He nodded, still embarrassed. Fang was more observant. He asked, "Did you have a nightmare?"

Holden nodded again and Fang responded, "It's okay, man. It gets better, easier to deal with later."

Fang stayed on Holden's branch. I dropped back down. "Go back to sleep guys. C'mon, stop talking now." I glared at everyone until they quieted back down. Dylan smiled at me and gestured to his branch, like I could join him. I shook my head and settled onto my own branch.

Fang leaned out till he could see me. "Go to sleep Max. My turn."

In other words, we'll talk later. Fine by me. I draped myself over my branch and fell asleep to the quiet murmurs coming from Holden and Fang. Fang had my back, and he took care of things. It was almost like the pre-Dylan days. Before everything got so messed up.

A/N: The thing running through my head while writing this section was "Nelly, I am Heathcliff." What book? And let's just hope the similarities end there, because the wrong people getting together really did not work out in that story :)