Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended. This is a period fic-let (short story) which will be told in Edward's point of view. Loosely based on William Kotzwinkle's "Jack in the Box". Again, no copyright infringement is intended. Beta'd by HollettLA.
Sorry about the wait. There are only a handful of chaps left, and I'll be updating weekly.
*HEAVY warning. While most of you will laugh at Edward, you might just cry for him too. I don't know. I laughed, but my sense of humor is whacked.
"Made in the Shades"
Chapter Fourteen: Hell
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
- Mark Twain
Worse for wear, Jasper, Peanut, and I got to cleaning. Hell, even Ben and Peter came by and helped clean the yard. Jake refused to clean, but he brought by a pizza pie.
And I didn't see Bella at all for the remainder of the weekend. When I called her house, Emmett said she wasn't available.
The place looked immaculate, even the carpet, but my parents still knew. Instead of a potpourri-laden house, they came home to the stale stench of alcohol and cigarettes. With the amount of people that were here, even when we left the windows open it never aired out.
Also, Peanut took the blame for the hole in the wall. We rigged it so it just looked like a hole. And he said he was horsing around with Dad's golf clubs when it happened.
They bought it, but they didn't believe me when I said we didn't throw a party.
Either way, I knew someone would tell about the shotgun—have the Chief come here or something, but he never did.
"You are trash, and your friends are trash," my father said. "No one is to visit anymore…not Jasper, hell, not even Bella. That's it!" he yelled.
"You are not my son. . . I don't know who you are anymore." My mother sucked her teeth.
My eyes narrowed and I stood up to tower over her. "Oh, yeah? Well, whose son am I?"
She scoffed. "Mr. Smart Aleck."
"He wants to be Mr. Popularity. Tell me, son. Did any of your 'friends'—" he used air quotes, "stick around to help you clean?"
"A few." I rolled my eyes. "Look, I'm sorry."
"Sorry isn't good enough this time—" My father started.
"The place is fine…a few days with the windows cracked, and it won't smell anymore." I shrugged. "Peanut did it, but I'll fix the wall." While gesturing to it, I felt really bad that he took the rap.
"Sorry, Pop," Peanut said.
"I'm sorry, too." I nodded.
"And that makes it okay?" Dad raised a brow. "We trusted you—"
Shaking my head, I let out an elongated sigh. "I don't know what else to say."
"I can't believe you!" Dad continued to yell. "You really had me fooled. I thought you changed, that maybe you were becoming a man. We didn't raise you to be some fink, chump, know-it-all. . . this isn't like you." He kept going and pacing. "We give you a little responsibility-"
"Everyone throws parties-"
"I wasn't finished!" He was in my face now. "Your stupidity doesn't surprise me-"
"Carlisle!" Mom shouted. "That's enough!"
Dad ignored her. "What's surprising is your lack of respect. . . my son, the idiot, at least maintained a certain level of-"
"Bye." I grabbed my jacket and left, while I refused to cry. After doing the crime, I knew I had to do the time, but I didn't want to hear any more of his words. They hurt.
"Edward Anthony!" My father hollered. "Get back here!" He ran out of the house after me.
Faster than I thought possible, I drove away.
When I went to pick up Bella—I needed her so bad—she told me to leave the garage. She couldn't believe I pulled a gun on her brother.
And she wouldn't let me explain what really happened.
I also looked to Emmett with my eyes pleading, willing him to say I hadn't, but he didn't.
My heart broke for the millionth time that weekend, so I called Jake. He let me crash on his couch for the night. I paid him a dollar, and he let me watch his sister take a bath.
It didn't do anything for me.
And I could have bought gas with that money.
When I knew she'd be walking home, I crept up on her—driving slow and begging Bella to get in the car.
Her stubborn ass wanted to walk home.
"Fine!" Was my response and I sped away, only to go around the corner. "Please?" I begged some more.
"You're being weird."
"Yeah, well, whatever. You knew I was weird when you accepted my date offer." I smirked at her, not able to help it, but not able to smile wide. She looked gorgeous, wearing black chinos and a flannel shirt. Her hair was down and wasn't done. It lay loose and straight, and she had purple shadows under her puffy eyes.
She grinned back. "Go home, Edward. Your dad was looking for you earlier."
I rolled my eyes. "Get in the car. We need to talk."
When she crossed the street, I got out to speak with her. "I never pulled a rifle on your brother. It was an idle threat—I wanted everybody out."
"Edward…" She tried to go around me and looked scared.
"You think I'm going to hurt you?" That broke my heart even more.
"Just go." She wouldn't look at me.
"Bells?" Emmett asked.
My eyes narrowed, and my body whipped to him. My anger was bubbling up inside of me, and I just couldn't take it anymore. "What the fuck did you say to her?" I pointed to Bella and ran up to Emmett. I pushed against his chest. "You told her I'd break her heart? Really?"
"Get the fuck off my porch!" He pointed.
"You don't know me!" I shouted. "How dare you compare what me and your sister have to what you and Rosalie have!"
"You've proven to be a cool guy, Edward. I don't want to—"
I knocked him right on his jaw. It nearly broke my hand, but at least his head snapped away and he stumbled back.
"That was cute." Emmett nodded and punched me so hard, I flew from his porch—over the railing and into the bush.
"Emmett, stop!" Bella shouted. "Edward?" She fussed over me. "Oh my gosh…are you okay?" she sobbed.
"Get off me…you don't get to care. You don't get to cry." Shaking my head, and on the verge of tears myself, I stood up to square my shoulders. "I'm fine," I lied.
Honestly, I was really embarrassed. I let my temper get away from me, and I was hit in front of my girl again—only she's not my girl anymore. "See you around." I got into my car and drove off.
...o.0...
Bella lied.
She never went back to being my friend. She didn't even go back to waving at me in the halls. Bella ignored me, and it pissed me the fuck off.
I left flowers—at her house, the garage, her locker, and with Emmett because I wanted to make sure she got them.
To this day, I have no idea what Emmett really said to her. We're cool. He only hits me if I fly at him or yell at Bella.
I've done that too, like right now. "Just ignore me—the crazy Cullen!" I put on my sunglasses and entered my car. "I know you can hear me, Bella!"
She held her face and walked off with Angela Weber. It looked like she was crying.
"Bella!" I went to get out of the car, concerned now.
"Edward!" Emmett warned.
I sped out of the school lot to drive around for an hour, completely blowing off baseball practice. Then I parked in the shadows, hidden, or so I thought.
"Edward," Jake said, entering my car. "Emmett sent me over, man. This is weird."
I shrugged, continuing to stare at the garage. "I miss her, and she won't let me come near her, so…this is a happy medium."
"Stalking?"
"Potato, potahto…" I waved my hand. "No one thinks secret admirers are creepy."
"That's because they leave flowers and move on," he laughed.
"Did she say anything about the flowers?" I asked.
He frowned. "She threw them in the garbage."
I whimpered, rubbing the ache out of my chest.
"Go home, have a beer or five, relax…Hell, call Lauren…I always feel better after a snow job."
I threw my head back to close my eyes.
"She was the first girl you were with. This always happens—feelin' lousy. It's normal the first few days." He patted my shoulder. "Take that." He threw a condom at me. "Go fuck something else. You'll see that it's not that serious—you will get laid again, bro."
"I'm still a virgin."
"Shhhit! Seriously?"
I nodded.
"You're…crying and upset and you didn't even—"
"Get out of my car."
He put his hands up and left.
I sped away from the curb.
Later that night, after I got into my father's whiskey, Dad stole my car keys from me. He understood. Believe it or not, after I lied—saying that I threw the party to mend my broken heart—my parents accepted it. Well, Mom accepted it, and Dad ignored me until today. They were also scared I'd stay away again. Apparently, they worried when they couldn't find me. I was only at Jake's.
Without much else to do tonight, Jasper and I watched A Streetcar Named Desire. It made its debut on television, while we took turns sipping from a gin bottle.
Dad likes whiskey, not gin, so he let us have that.
I couldn't even finish the movie without crying.
Fucking Stanley.
"Oh, I wish there was something I could do." Jasper rocked us back and forth.
I sniffled and hugged him tighter. "I feel so lonely I could die."
"You have me." He kissed my hair, and then it just got uncomfortable.
"Let go." I backed away and wiped my eyes.
"Oh, Ed…I was just being consoling." His eyes were wide.
"I know. It was just weird," I cried into my hands. "You're a real pal."
"I should go," he said.
"I'll walk you." I grabbed the gin and trailed behind him.
My parents had already gone to bed, so I just left out the front door with Jasper. I never walked him home. Instead, he followed me all the way to Bella's house.
"What are you going to do?" He pulled me into the bushes.
"I'm going to throw a rock and-and tell her how I feel." I stood up to do so.
Jasper pulled my arm back down. "That's Emmett's room, which one is Bella's?"
"Fuck…thanks. That was a close call." I sipped some gin. It's dark and I'm drunk, but I'm pretty sure it's the one off to the side of the house. "That one? I could have sworn it was this one…How do you know it's Emmett's?"
"Have you ever been in her room?" he asked. "I bet with the Three Musketeers that place is like a fortress."
"I saw it once when I had to take a piss the other day. She wasn't home yet, and Charlie let me wait for her…I really just wanted to be in her room. Charlie didn't know we had broken up yet. So, I lay in her bed to hug her blankets, but then I got mad…because of what she did…"
"Uh-oh…What'd you do?" Jazz asked.
My face crumbled for a second, and I let out a whimper. "I gave Elvis a mustache in every poster she has. She really likes James Dean, and I managed to make him look like Nosferatu."
"Who?" He made a face.
"It's old…silent movie from 1922. He looks like a fucked-up Dracula. I used a lipstick I found. . . she hates lipstick," I whined. "I was a horrible boyfriend. I never stopped, I always had to push—I hate my cock." I tilted the bottle back as traitorous tears spilled down my cheeks. "Oh, Jasper . . . I'm rotten, and she's wonderful. She was smart—she left me."
"Edward…" Jasper frowned. "That was pretty rotten and-and creepy."
"Look…" I showed him the bobby socks I stole that I've kept in my pocket. Then I held them to my nose to take a hearty whiff.
"Are those clean?" he asked.
I shrugged.
"You-you need more help than I can give you. Let's go home. We'll talk to your dad." Jasper tried to usher me away, but I shrugged him off.
"Hey, you've been chasing Alice for how long?"
"Six years." He nodded.
"Don't judge me." I placed my hand on my chest, staring up above. "If it's not that window, it's this one." I pointed.
We started throwing gravel at Bella's bedroom window. After the third one made contact and Bella didn't wake up, I grew desperate. "You think I can climb this?"
"It's a pipe." He pulled me down by my jacket. "You're going to scale shingles?"
I gasped. "I can climb the tree, get onto that balcony, and then—"
"You'll break your legs—"
"Hey, STELLAAAAAA!" I shouted, palming my face, and falling to my knees in frustration. "I mean…Hey, BELLAAAAA!" I did it again, and then the light came on in her bedroom. "She's up!" I told Jazz. Then I turned and noticed he was gone.
"Jasper?"
"I'm over here," he whispered from behind a tree.
I nodded and looked up to the window. "Bella, my love—"
The window opened. "No, Edward." Charlie glared at me.
"Fuck…" I stepped back and tripped over the curb.
"Have you been drinking, son?" he called down to me.
"No." I hid the gin behind my back.
Another window opened, Emmett's window. "Edward?" Nope. It's Bella's window, and I was right the first time.
"Sorry!" Jasper called out. "But, watch out…Emmett's on the porch."
I didn't care. "Bella, I love you!" I widened my arms. "Please, baby…come down…we need to talk."
"Go home," Charlie said.
Bella frowned and tightened her robe around herself. "Edward, I—"
"You look beautiful tonight." My face crumbled, and I got down on my knees to chug some gin. "I just wanted to say that." I wiped my nose with my sleeve. "Why'd you leave me?"
"Edward, this is your conscience speaking!" Emmett boomed from behind me.
"I know it's really you, Emmett." I slumped my shoulders. "You can kill me now. I just wanted to tell Bella that I love her."
"Oh, Edward…" Bella cried.
"Don't cry, angel face…" I looked up to her, but tears clouded my vision. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry. We can work it out. I'll never touch you again—I—I'd consider myself lucky if I just got to be near you, talk to you…"
"You didn't do anything." She sniffled.
"Then—then—why—" I stumbled and fell back to the ground when I tried to get up.
"You're drunk—go home," Bella said. "I can't—I'm sorry."
"Hey!" I screamed. "I'm sorry about your posters!"
"That was you? I thought Paul…" She looked mad.
"I'll replace them!" I sobbed.
"You need to cool it with the alcohol." She gave me the middle finger.
"Can you throw me down a cigarette?" I felt my pockets for matches.
She closed the window.
"No—God—Bella, please—" I started to crawl toward her house, but Emmett held me back.
"Go home and go to bed, before you do or say something stupid that you'll regret." He held out his hand for mine.
I reluctantly took it, and he pulled me up.
"I'll take you home," he said. "Is Whitlock, your shadow, hiding somewhere?"
I sipped from the bottle. "Are—you going to pound on us?" I hiccupped.
Emmett shook his head no.
"Jazz, it's safe!"
Jasper came running out from behind the tree.
I looked back up to the windows, and Charlie was still staring. "G-goodnight, Chief!" I waved. "D-don't be mad. I love your daughter…that's not a crime, so…" I shrugged. "Do you have any smokes?"
He laughed at me. "I should call your father."
"Where do you think I got the gin…" I made the bottle dance. "I'm not driving…YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME AND I LOVE HER! That's what drove me to the bottle!"
"Edward!" Emmett shook me.
Charlie was laughing so hard. It made me laugh, and then vomit in the street.
"Go home, Edward!" Charlie shouted. "I'm phoning your father now. If I gotta be up for this, then he can be too." He closed the window.
"BELLA!" I cried. "Can you hear me? I'm not crazy. I love you, everything about you! Please take me back…" I puked some more.
"Please, just go home."
I looked up to see her window open just a little. Her lights were still off. "Please come down here. I promise, I—"
"It's not you, Edward," Bella cried.
"Please don't cry." I looked to Emmett. "Don't let her cry." Just as I lifted it to drink more, Emmett tore the bottle out of my hand.
"I think you had enough."
"I would—would have done all of this sober!" I widened my arms. "I'm crazy, Fuckward Cullen!"
"It's true," Jasper said.
Emmett shook his head. "You guys want a ride home?" He looked to his driveway.
"No…I'd rather walk. Thank you."
"Me too," Jasper said. "But…we're good. I'm not that drunk. I can handle my liquor better than Cullen."
"Fuck you…Fucksper…if I'm Fuckward, then you're Fucksper."
"Jesus…how much have you guys had to drink?" Emmett asked.
"A lot." I continued walking down the street. "I'm being held hostage at the Heartbreak Hotel!" I shouted.
"Edward, just because my father pities you doesn't mean another cop won't arrest you for disturbing the peace." Emmett laughed at me, and I felt like singing.
"Well, if your baby leaves you
You got a tale to tell
Well, just take a walk down Lonely Street
To Heartbreak Hotel."
I sang, and a few stray cats joined me.
"Fuck, yeah!" Jasper nodded, and then we both sang.
"You'll be so lonely, baby
Well you'll be lonely
You'll be so lonely you could die…"
And then we laughed our asses off.
"You guys are funny," Emmett chuckled, "sad but funny."
"What'd you say to Bella…to make her leave me?" My stomach rolled with nausea.
"I didn't say anything specific in regards to you…I just told her why Rosie and me aren't serious anymore."
"You love Rosalie?" I asked.
Emmett sipped some gin. "I do."
I didn't comment even if I wanted to, neither did Jasper—but we did share a look.
"I love her enough to let her go," Emmett laughed. "She's going off to do…whatever, and I'll be here. I love the garage. Having one was what I always wanted, and Paul's going to U-Dub in the fall. His father's insurance money is paying for that." It was the most I had ever heard Emmett speak without malice.
"If I asked, she might stay—I don't know, but she'll end up pregnant and hating me—maybe not right away, but in the long run." He guzzled the rest of the gin. "You two cats are depressing."
Jasper and I nodded. "You told Bella that, and she thinks that applies to me."
"Shouldn't it?" Emmett looked to me.
I shook my head no. "I'd give up everything I have just to be with her."
"You shouldn't have to," he replied. "I'm saving up and so is Dad. Bella should go to college, and we're going to try…"
"She's so smart," I whispered. "I just don't understand, though. She has a year before she graduates—more than. We'll see each other on weekends, and I'll call—"
"Edward," Emmett laughed bitterly, "you guys were together a little over a month. She broke it off before it got serious, so you can go to school, to spare you guys heartache—a clean break…How can you hold that against her? You'll have Bella here, and you'll probably do what you want at university—playing her dirty and whatnot."
"Now you're talking too much," I said.
"I have buddies at U-Dub . . . and they party. You—" he pointed to me, "you party hearty. I hear women are faster in college, too. You'll string her along, and then forget about her in a semester."
"How dare you…" I pushed him. "You don't know me."
He pushed me back, and I fell to the ground. "Keep your hands to yourself."
.
.
.
.
.
…o.0…
"Edward?" My mother has been walking on eggshells, thinking I'm going to run away. Where the fuck am I going to go? I have nothing.
"Peanut butter and banana—your favorite." Actually, it's Elvis's favorite.
And once again, I am reminded that I was only truly myself in front of Bella. That's why I was always so nervous. She just drew the real Edward out of me. I could be goofy and say what was on my random mind, and she adored me for it.
Or, maybe she didn't and that's why she broke up with me.
Mom left the plate on my nightstand.
It stayed there until Dad came home later that night. "This isn't normal, Edward. You and Bella were only dating three weeks."
"Six weeks! We were together more than a month!" The outburst surprised even me. Today, I can't seem to feel anything, not even hunger, but Dad hit a nerve.
"Even so—"
"How can you say that?" I was irrational. In my head, the amount of time we spent together didn't matter. We saw each other every day, and we went out and necked, and she touched my penis. "You don't understand!"
"Have you tried dating other girls?"
"I don't want them."
"Have you tried asking anyone out? You might get interested. I hear the Hale girl is single?" Dad asked and my blood boiled.
"Ice cunt—"
"Excuse me?"
"I can't." I moaned into my pillow.
"The Hales are coming for dinner tomorrow. You can . . . take a bath and make an effort."
"I bathe!" I spat. "I did the other day," I whispered.
"Edward, get your ass in the shower and go hang out with your friends!" He pulled the covers off of me. "I just saw Bella at the movies when I dropped your brother off. Her life didn't stop."
"What?" I hopped out of bed with a fury. "Why isn't she home crying…mourning her loss?" I wiped my eyes. "Oh, no…that's right. She didn't want me." I jumped off my bed. "I have to talk to her, make her see—"
"Christ, Edward." He pulled me back and forced me into the shower when I tried to go to the movies.
The next day my mother came home with a leather jacket for me. It had James Dean, Brando—badass—written all over it, but it meant nothing to me now.
The girl I needed it for was gone.
I still wore the fucking thing.
Other girls liked it. Rosalie really liked it.
And my father really liked Rosalie.
She scared the fuck out of me when she flirted with my father. Even my mother didn't like it. I heard her tell my father that Rosalie crossed a line.
Dad denied it.
Never in my life had I hated anyone as much as I do her.
I asked Jake what I should do. He knows everything when it comes to girls. He also remained neutral—told me Emmett was a blind fool.
Jake said to fuck Rosalie, and then dump her. Apparently, that's the worst payback there is, as far as jilting a female is concerned.
"I'm so glad you asked me out." Ice Cunt checked her ruby red lips in my visor. "Where are we going?"
"I don't care," I said.
"How about the Chinese restaurant?"
"Fine." I pulled off toward Charlie Chan's.
"It's too bad about Jimmy and Jessica…But it's cool because Bella agreed to go to the prom with him—"
I swallowed, refusing to let that get to me. "Yeah, guess I lost my date too."
"We can go." She placed her hand on my thigh.
"Touch my cock." I tried that one out.
She gasped.
I chuckled and continued to drive. "You fucking tease." I spat.
"Edward Cullen!"
"Oh, fuck you!"
"You never will with that attitude," she said.
I raised a brow and didn't say anything for the remainder of the ride.
We ate.
I paid.
And we wound up on the 101 overlooking the cliffs.
"Why are you so quiet?" Rosalie asked.
"I have nothing to say." I stared up at the moon.
"You're so handsome—all serious and stoic." She nestled into my outstretched arm. Rosalie felt good against me, but still wrong. "I didn't break you guys up."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Can we go in the backseat?" she asked.
I raised a brow and followed her lead.
We kissed.
I rounded second.
Third.
And when my pants came off, I wanted to stop.
But I didn't.
"You sure?" I asked.
Rosalie swallowed, licking her bottom lip, spread out under me. "Yes…make love to me," she whispered.
"Hold on." Nervous as all hell, I grabbed the condom from out of my wallet.
"Wait!"
I paused, still breathing heavily.
"You're taking me to prom, right? And we'll go steady?"
"Steady?" I asked. "I thought you didn't go…steady."
"With you, yeah…My mother loved you—thinks we'll have beautiful children." Her hands ran up my middle, and then down—and then she stroked my cock, which made me convulse and groan. "Don't you think about that?" Her hand went faster, and I leaned forward, "Getting married and starting a family…"
"G-give it a kiss." I pursed my lips down.
She slapped my cheek. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"You'll fuck me just so I'll take you to prom, but you won't suck me off for—well, what do you want for it?" I asked.
She looked up, contemplative, and I wrapped my hand around hers. She can think and give me a hand job at the same time. "I want your class ring—a promise, so that when we're at different schools, we'll be true."
I threw my head back, laughed, and smacked her hand away before I threw the condom out the window. "Get dressed." I threw her panties at her.
"Edward!"
I shrugged and crawled into the front seat while I held my pants together.
I didn't even get off.
My fingers fumbled. She was wet, warm, and it smelled really nice—she said she came.
"You got what you wanted, right?" I asked.
She knocked me with her skirt as she came back to the passenger seat. "What I wanted? You didn't even scratch the surface yet of what I want from you." She gave me a soft kiss.
I pushed her face away—the face I used to get up and go to school for every morning now makes me sick. "You got off?" I placed my fingers under my nose. It was the first time I had ever touched a girl like that. And no matter how much I hated her, I still wondered if I did well.
"That was magical."
"Good." I fastened my pants and then backed away from the cliffs.
"We're magic." She twirled her fingers in my hair.
"We're fucked."
Twenty minutes later, when we were parked outside her house, she called Bella mousy—told me to stop pinning because Bella is already sleeping with Jimmy.
I didn't believe her.
She swore it.
I threw her out of my car—as gently as possible—told her to go fuck herself and to stay away from my family.
She cried. I made Rosalie, that evil bitch, cry. I didn't even know that was possible.
I laughed the whole way home, while a part of me died inside.
Thank you for reading.
I know many of you will likely flounce after Edward's last stunt, but . . .
I promise, this angst won't be lasting long. We're actually close to the end of this small tale.