If you asked Amanda Rollins what a party was, the odds are that she would not tell you it was the squad all huddled together in her living room at three in the morning because a crazed killer may or may not be targeting her. Still, that did not stop a certain member of the team from apologizing for being late to said party, and it most certainly did not stop another member of the team from (verbally) attacking the first member.
"Amaro, Carisi, can we please try to keep it together? Save the cat fighting for later. Let's try to focus on making sure Rollins is safe," Olivia ordered, giving an especially pointed look toward Nick.
Was Olivia just using Nick's routine protectiveness over Amanda as leverage, or did she know more about the parameters of their relationship than she was letting on? Oh god, did she know? Instinctively, her hands went to the part of her body that was keeping her secret, which managed to catch Nick's eye.
"Are you alright?" he mouthed, trying to keep his concern as inconspicuous as possible as she had asked him to.
She nodded her head in response and he raised an eyebrow, perceivably not fully convinced but willing to let it go for the time being, which she was quite thankful for. She knew that the recent turn of events had to have him on edge, and if they could get through the night without garnering any suspicion from the rest of the squad, everything would be that much easier. She understood why he was so worried, and she just hoped he could channel it into catching the perp. Tonight was about finally getting this guy off the streets, not about one of them potentially losing their job.
"Alright, Carisi, you're going to stay here with Rollins. Whatever you do, do not let her talk you into leaving this apartment until we come back up here. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Sergeant."
"Olivia, can't I-
"No, Rollins. We have more reason to believe that this guy is not after you than he is, but this man has raped and mutilated six people within the last five days. We're not going to take any chances with you. Normally I have to say this to Nick and not to you, but please don't give Carisi any trouble."
"Fine."
"Aww don't sound so disappointed. I'm sure we're going to have a real good time!"
"Hey-
"Nick, it's fine. I'm sure we will, Sonny," she said, rolling her eyes.
Why couldn't Olivia have assigned Fin or Nick to more or less babysitting her?
"Fin, Nick and I will check out the crime scene and canvas the area. Let me reiterate this one more time, Rollins you are not to leave this building, and Carisi, if you like this job, you will not let her."
"Got it," they both mumbled exasperatedly, neither of the two particularly thrilled with the prospects of their situation.
As much as Amanda still needed to warm up to him, she knew that Carisi's lack of enthusiasm for the assignment had nothing to do with him not being unconcerned for her welfare. She knew that he would throw himself into the line of fire for her if need be in a heartbeat, because as annoying as he could be, he still took his role as a member of the team seriously. He was loyal to her, and even to Nick, by default. If anything, she knew his reluctance to stay with her was due to his wanting to go out and get rid of the threat to her (if there was one) himself.
She had good teammates, and in the wake of the last few weeks, she was extremely grateful for the fact.
As Olivia, Fin and Nick prepared to head out, the latter managed to sneak over toward her for a moment.
"You know I'm not going to let this guy near you right?" he whispered, breathing into her ear, his hot breath and the fervor in his tone sending a shiver down her spine.
The way he was talking to her, he could have told her anything, and she would've believed him.
"Manda?"
"I know," she whispered.
"It'll all be over soon. We're going to keep you safe, I promise. Everything is going to be alright."
"Nick, I-
"Amaro, let's go!"
"Will see you later," she finished, giving him the most reassuring smile she could muster. He needed to be focused on his objective, not preoccupied with worry over her.
"See you in a few, Rollins."
Did he just wink at her?
It was really hard to keep whatever their relationship even was discrete when he was making her face flush redder than a tomato. Luckily, she had only turned on a dim light on her apartment, so the odds that anyone else could tell how hard blushing were next to zero. But still, she was not a fan of how much of an effect he had on her. For now, she would just chalk it up to the hormones.
"And then there were two," Carisi chirped lightly, considering the possible gravity of the situation, pulling her out of her reverie.
"Make yourself at home," she murmured cuttingly, hoping he would leave her alone for the most part. She wasn't angry at him at the moment, but she was achingly tired and frustrated with the entire situation, and really did just want to be bothered.
"Listen I'll stay on guard, you can go back to sleep if you want to."
"What? If y'all are awake because of me, I think I can manage to keep my eyes open, too."
"Yeah, fair is fair, but I could understand why you'd just want to sleep through this one."
"I'm too riled up to go back to sleep now, but I appreciate the sentiment."
"He's not after you, Rollins. I mean, technically he could be, but it's-
"Unlikely? True, but it doesn't mean it's impossible."
"Even if this guy has it out for you, do you really think those three that are out there are you going to let him touch you? You've seen the crime scenes; he just keeps getting sloppier and sloppier. There's no way he's in a strong enough state of mind to weasel his way past three detectives who know what they're doing. Besides, if he somehow did, that's what I'm here for. Relax, Rollins. You're probably the safest woman on the planet right now."
"I guess you're right. I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but thanks Carisi."
"I'm not a terrible guy all of the time, you know?"
"Yeah, I know," she chuckled.
"Even a guy like me could never be rude to a woman in your condition."
"You mean a woman who may or may not be the object of a crazed killer's attention?"
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone yet, but my sister's pregnant. You're not fooling me, Rollins."
"Carisi, I am definitely not pregnant if that is what you're implying."
"The others might not see it, but I sure do. You're always half asleep and turning down coffee when you used to live off of it. Bella's been acting the same way."
"I am not-
BANG.
Was that… no it couldn't be.
BANG.
Shit, that was most definitely a gunshot.
"No, no, no, no, no!"
Carisi threw himself backwards, his back slamming into the door. Olivia had threatened his job if he let Amanda out into the line of fire, and he was not about to jeopardize that or her safety.
"Rollins, breathe. Stop hitting me, ouch. God damn it! Amanda, I am not letting you out there! Get back in your room! Get away from the door and go hide!"
BANG.
"MOVE, Carisi! They could be hurt! You have to let me-
"NO. Amanda, I know you're scared, but I am not letting you out, do you hear me? You are not getting hurt on my watch."
"But… but…" she trailed off, beginning to cry. God, she had never felt so guilty in her. What if one of her own was bleeding out because of her? She had to help, she had to…
"Listen to me, Rollins, if this guy is after you, you going out there is just going to send him into a frenzy. If you leave this building, you're going to make him more likely to hurt Olivia, Nick, or Fin. I know this is not what you want to hear, but I really need you to go stay in your room, okay?"
"Nick," she whimpered, her resolve crumbling. She fell forward into Carisi, his arms grasping around her just in time to keep her from sliding down to the floor.
"And Liv and Fin will be fine," he finished for her, "but they need you to go back into your room. Let me hang back by the door, alright?"
She nodded back into his chest, before reluctantly retreating from the door. In her room, she sat in bed, pulling her comforter around her. She shook with worry, hoping and wishing with all of her might that no one would be hurt in her name. Especially not Nick…
"Hello? What the hell just happened out there?"
Carisi's voice, presumably answering his phone, made her entire body freeze. The erratic thumping of her heart in chest drummed disorienting-y loud in her ears, and she felt the air harden in her lungs.
Let everyone be okay. Please, let everyone be okay.
"Rollins? You can come back out now."
His voice was measured, a little too measured for her comfort.
She rose and numbly walked back into her living room, feeling her legs quake with every movement. She couldn't lose any of them. She just couldn't.
"Fin got shot. Just in the arm, though. He's going to be fine. But uhh, the guy…"
"What happened?" she asked through gritted teeth. God, could he just cut the being gentle with her feelings bullshit and just tell her already? Every fiber of her just needed to know what transpired.
Don't tell me who got to Liv or Nick, too. Don't tell me they're dead. Please, let Liv and Nick be fine.
"The guy said he was your father."