The song written in this chapter was inspired by the midi called 'Fall of an Angel'. It's an original poem/song I wrote while listening to the midi. I'm glad people liked it!

Ch 14

Lloyd paced back and forth as the day began to wane. Already sunset was dressing the mountains and fields with golden color and the young swordsman was no closer to finding his father than he was that morning. Zelos was off in a meeting with Sheena, trying to gather more information about what was going on with the New World Order Desians, which was difficult enough as the Mizuho spies planted in the Renegade factions were the only ones to get those reports. How else were they to know the Topaz Ring had been dismantled so soon after requesting help looking for it?

"Dad's at Exire, the ring's been taken apart, the fate of the world hangs in the balance, and I'm stuck here while Zelos is playing 'kissy-face' with Sheena." Lloyd grumbled irritably and looked over at the note Kratos had left. The paper lay innocently on a small table and the brunet contemplated several ideas as he gazed at it. He turned away and shook his head. "No, I can't do that. I really will be abandoning someone if I did that." he murmured to himself. He slowly looked back at the note again, "But, if I used the Eternal Sword... no. I can't use it for that. The Eternal Sword isn't meant for petty stuff. If I do this, I have to do it on my own power." Lloyd scratched his head, thinking hard. A dull ache was starting to form and he made a frustrated noise. "I wish I could think better, like Dad or Zelos, or even Dad! Uh, Dad Dirk, I mean." he muttered and closed his eyes. "But he said that if I ever have trouble thinking with my head, I should think with my heart. I do that easier anyway."

Somewhere out there, Kratos was planning something to recover the missing items by himself. It would be incredibly risky and dangerous, as the man was all alone and, frankly, not in the best mental state to pull off the stunt. On top of that, the only person giving him any help or guidance is Yuan, and Lloyd had been burned by the seraphim too often to consider him a reliable source of help.

"So I have to help him." Lloyd finally decided with a grim nod and walked over to pick up the note and a pencil, "Let's see. What to write?"

Sheena nodded agreeably as Orochi finished his report. Zelos scowled at the map spread on the floor mat, tapping his fingers impatiently on his arms as the other ninjas pinned out the new positions of their targets.

"Right. There you go then. If Kratos left to get advice from Yuan on Exire, then it would be best to have our spies alter his plans at the source to bring him back here. We have at least two of them in the Exire base." she remarked from her kneeling position at the head of the meeting.

"Also, we're hearing reports that Kratos is undergoing specialized training for a mission. So far, the preliminary results were awful. One trainer actually went temporarily insane!" Orochi added.

"Kratos tends to drive everyone insane." Zelos muttered. He glared at the map laid out before him. "It still doesn't change the fact that we can't move from here. We're going to have to chase after him eventually. Him, and the guy who stole our Exspheres and the Topaz Ring to begin with."

"I don't know that you should leave Mizuho yet. Are you and Lloyd fully recovered?" Sheena asked worriedly, "The last thing we need is for the three of you to fall to some trap just because Kratos walked into it and you followed after in a drugged stupor."

"Oh, come on! I'm not that stupid, and neither is Lloyd or Kratos!" the redhead griped and paused thoughtfully, "Well, maybe Lloyd is... and Kratos has been losing it a lot lately..." The ninja rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Give us another day to sabotage Kratos's travel plans and then we can get started on tracking down where those Exspheres are." Sheena told him and bowed, "Meeting concluded." With that, it was over. Zelos stood with an irritated sigh, bowed back in respect, and left with the other ninjas. He loved Sheena, true, but sometimes the woman got on his nerves with her role as Chief of Mizuho.

He returned to the hotel room to rest and looked around, expecting Lloyd to be sitting to one side working on a carving or playing with some random toy he found. When he saw no brunet poking at folded decorations, Zelos cocked his head in confusion and tapped his foot.

"Well, now where the hell is he?" he muttered and looked over at the table where he had last seen Kratos's note. The letter was still there, but now a ring was placed on it to hold it in place, along with a plate of sweets and a cup of wine. An unsettling feeling rose in him as he picked up the ring and letter. "Zelos, I kinda took a page from Dad's book and took off, too. I figure if I get lost along the way to Exire, I can always bug Origin for help. Sorry if I piss you off doing this. I ordered room service before I left, so maybe some cake will cheer you up. Back in a while, Lloyd." The former Chosen's eye twitched once as he turned the paper over. "Gah, that idiot! They really are father and son! He even used the same letter! He just wrote this note on the back of Kratos's letter!" Zelos glared at the Garnet Ring Lloyd left behind and slipped it onto his finger. "Man..." he hissed softly and threw the rest of his clothes and supplies into his pack before slinging it onto his shoulders, "And I thought I'd get a chance to think something up." He grabbed a handful of the sweetmeats, popped them in his mouth, then downed the wine before making for the door.

He was unconscious from passion flower overdose halfway out of the hotel.

Kari watched her pupil fidget and pace as the stage was set for the evening performance. Kratos peeked out from between the curtains at the growing audience of Renegades and half-elves, then jumped back with a whimper, thumbnail promptly going between his teeth. Yuan shook his head in exasperation. The man helped to save the world once before, but he still had problems dealing with his fears.

"You have to go on stage and perform for people if you want to pass for a performer. If you can't sing for others, you can't be a singer." Kari told the mercenary.

"Once you complete this test, you will be transported to Alvanista and smuggled onto the caravans with other entertainers evacuating the city. I'll have one of my men placed on a raiding party and they will help you get entry into the Moria Gallery. Once there, however, you're on your own." Yuan reminded him. Kratos nodded, still chewing on his nail as he looked around furtively.

"Relax. Take deep breaths. Don't think of the other people." Kari advised. Kratos looked at her in confusion. "Imagine yourself in a private little world of your own, surrounding by those who love you for who you are. Sing for them, sing what you feel in your heart at that moment. They will listen and understand and they will always love you, no matter the song, no matter your mood." she told him with a gentle smile.

"I sing for those I love?" Kratos murmured uncertainly and breathed deeply, taking the words into his mind, "Sing what I feel, sing for those I love. Okay. I think I understand." He closed his eyes, clasped one hand over his heart and nodded slowly. "I'm ready." he finally said, looking up at his two friends.

"All right then. I'll introduce you. Warm up if you need to and then go on." Yuan remarked and stepped out beyond the curtains. Kratos watched him go and sighed.

"I hope I do okay." he murmured. Kari smiled brightly at him.

"You'll do fine! Your voice is perfect! Sing from your heart and soul, and it will be beautiful and perfect!" she cheered him on as the seraphim outside announced his entry. "Now go out there and break a leg!"

"Who in their right mind claimed that was an expression of good luck?" Kratos muttered as he went out onto the stage.

The red curtains pulled away as Kratos stood on the small wooden stage, clutching the microphone in his hand as he stared out at the audience with masked terror. The people looked back up at him, waiting. Yuan stood just off the stage, looking anxious to see if his friend could overcome this final challenge. Kratos shot him a look as the mask fell away, revealing just how frightened he was of this test.

"I can't do this! How could I have thought that this would work?" he thought frantically as he turned back to the audience. They were losing interest and patience steadily, fixing the rusty-haired young man with bored or annoyed glares as the seconds dragged on and his voice remained silent. Kratos could hear and feel his heart pounding, the lights shining on him seemed to paralyze him. He could barely breathe, seeing in his mind the image of his complete failure to fulfill his promise to Lloyd and Zelos.

"Sing for the ones you love, from the heart and soul!" Kari whispered once again, knowing Kratos's angel senses would allow him to hear her. He gasped slightly at the sudden jolt back to reality and shut his eyes, dredging up in his mind the picture of the garden where Maxwell's pillar stood. His two sons sat by the stone slab, laughing happily and clapping their hands as he stood before them.

"Sing for us, Dad! You can do it!" Lloyd encouraged him.

"I bet you can sing just as good as me, maybe better! We can do duets!" Zelos added and pumped his fists into the air, cheering for him. Kratos's whole body relaxed as he prepared for the performance, blocking out the audience, the lights, the world around him, as the band waited for their cue to create music for his song. He bowed his head slightly and allowed his pent up emotions to channel towards his voice.

"Whispers of a time long past

Call me to a home I never had

Fate to wander endlessly alone

Bring me to a time I can call home

Dawns that rise and set for me

Pass me by, my silent cry."

The musicians were struggling to piece together the melody that flowed with the words. At the first line, the audience fell absolutely silent, gazing up at the gently swaying mercenary in wonder. Yuan's mouth fell open in amazement, closed only when Kari gently tapped his chin upward.

"Journey on, my dying soul

Journey on, my breaking heart

Paths of fallen angels tread

This is where my life will end."

Almost as if summoned by the words, the shimmering mana wings unfurled from Kratos's back, trembling as they scattered dust on a tiny breeze. Glittering specks of blues and cyan circled the young man in a delicate aura.

"Lift me gentle on silent wings

Promise not what morning brings

Sorrow be my twilight guide

To a distant dreamer's bride

Wish me sleep eternally

Pass me by, say not why."

Yuan closed his eyes, fighting back tears as visions of Martel bloomed into his mind. The bride he would never have; in the brief clarity brought by the pain of loss, he finally understood how Kratos felt when Anna died so many years ago. They shared the same loss, the same agony. He regretted the harsh-sounding taunts from earlier.

"Journey on, my dying dream

Shatter to my silent scream

Paths of fallen angels made

My path to long-awaited end."

The music was soft, caressing Kratos's mind as it invited him to pour more of himself into his song. He didn't feel the tears running down his cheeks, only the growing sense of comfort as the sons in his vision continued radiating love for him. Here he could truly mourn for his beloved, trembling wings spreading the blanket of fading angelic mana dust around him in a dying cloud.

"Journey on, my broken soul

Never mended, never whole

Paths of fallen angels prayed

Seek salvation where it ends..."

Kratos drew a shuddering breath as he lifted his gaze to the audience, silently stunned at their reaction. Faces that focused on him, brimming with sadness, hope, joy, but mostly brimming with tears as slowly but surely the people rose to their feet in masse and clapped. The clapping soared in volume, filling the auditorium with noise as the Renegades and half-elves cheered and cried in praise. Kratos blinked at them in astonishment, then turned to look at Yuan and Kari. The young teacher gave him a silent, proud expression, clapping along with the audience. Yuan appeared dumbfounded, awed by what he had just heard. Kratos turned back to the audience as small flowers began to rain down on the stage from their seats. He smiled sheepishly, just a tiny little grin as he rubbed the dried tears from his eyes before bowing to the audience in silent thanks.

"He definitely passed." Yuan managed to say at last, his view on the mercenary altered forever by the performance. Kari smiled wider.

"I knew he would. His voice is perfect." she whispered.

The Rheairds were prepped for flight as Kratos stowed the last of his belongings in his pack and hurried to meet with Yuan on the flight pad. It was nearly dusk, the sun hung low in the sky, basking the earth in a red-gold splendor. The aqua-haired seraphim smiled as Kratos rushed to him, eyes shining with excitement.

"This is it! This is what I've worked for three days to achieve! My chance to redeem myself!" the young man exclaimed brightly.

"Don't get so caught up in it that you forget you do have a family to return to, Kratos." Yuan warned him and tilted his head towards the transports. "I have one of my men ready for you. You'll be escorted to Alvanista for the drop off. Once there, you will blend into the other refugees escaping the city. The caravans smuggle performers out of Alvanista, but they pay their fare by providing entertainment. That's when most of the Desians strike." He reached into his cloak and produced a small sketch of a portly man with a twisted smile, beady eyes staring out at nothing. "This is Yarbel DeWitt, a caravan and tavern manager who is being investigated for selling his passengers to the Desians. He rounds up the performers, alerts the N.W.O. about it, then acts innocent when he gets raided by the parties. He's making a huge profit off this scam." Kratos took the paper and scowled at the picture. "You have to find him and join his caravan. It's the most guaranteed way to infiltrate the Moria Mines."

"I haven't even met him and I already find him a stinking jerk." Kratos growled. Yuan shifted on his feet tiredly.

"Yes, well, it's the best plan we could think up on such short notice. You're leaving Zelos's radio here, correct?" the seraphim asked.

"Yeah. Anyway, why does he still have it? Is he reporting to you on what we're doing?" Kratos questioned suspiciously. His friend smiled mysteriously back at him.

"I say that line almost automatically now. If my mother was alive and called me out of the blue, I'd ask her for a report, too." he replied, "You'll have to ask Zelos for the truth on that one. I merely have a very good ear for listening." Kratos looked at him with a droll expression and Yuan laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it! You have bigger fish to fry now." he teased then looked serious, "Just be very careful down there, Kratos. We won't be able to help you once you join the caravan."

"I know." Kratos sighed and climbed onto a Rheaird as the Renegade soldier waited for him. "Yuan, if I don't make it back... find a way to let Lloyd and Zelos know that I did my best, that I love them with every ounce of my life and that none of it was your fault." he added quietly.

"Kratos, don't be a martyr. Get in, do what you have to do, then get out. You have a life to live, a family to be with. The world doesn't need the sacrifice of another hero." Yuan told him firmly and stepped back, "Good luck." He smiled. "And break a leg." Kratos grinned back at him with a nod and followed the soldier off of Exire and towards Alvanista, now further away as the floating city drifted west-ward of the growing kingdom.

"Ah, man. I didn't think that reuniting the worlds was gonna mess up both of my maps." Lloyd sighed as he peered at the two charts lying side by side on the ground. After having followed his father's example and saturating the candies and wine with passion flower extract to delay Zelos, Lloyd promptly began learning the finer points of angelic flight.

Which explained why he was totally lost.

"Hey, Origin, can you help me out a bit?" Lloyd called out, opening his mind to the King of Summon Spirits, "I'm trying to find Exire, but I don't think my maps are any good now." The voice that answered him sounded faintly exasperated.

"Lloyd, don't you ever think things through before you do them? Ah, well. I shall grant you a new map that will show you the land at any moment. Take care of it." Origin told him sternly as a small clear cube of unknown make materialized before the brunet in a brilliant glow of light. Lloyd took the cube into his hand, blinking at how it fit snugly in his palm. A projection globe rose from a small light in the top of the cube and spun slowly in the air.

"Wow! It made a tiny Symphonia! Cool! How does it work? Can it make other stuff appear too?" Lloyd laughed as the current position for Exire appeared on the globe as a flashing yellow spot and his own location appeared as a shining white point.

"Focus, Lloyd."

"Oh, fine. Huh, so Exire's near the Toize Mine now. Okay, I'm near the Gaoracchia Forest, so it should only take me a day at least to get to Exire, maybe more if I take breaks from flying." the brunet muttered and looked back at his shimmering blue and emerald mana wings, "This would be easier if I had the big ones. Maaaan..." He flapped them slowly, still trying to get a feel for them, then lifted off from the open fields near the Yggdrasill Tree and made his way towards the floating city.

Sheena paced angrily as the local healers stood by in silence, one allowed to give her report on Zelos's condition. The redhead lay on a mat nearby, sleeping as the Garnet Ring he wore worked furiously to purge his body of the excess drug.

"Passion flower. It seems to be the sedative of choice of the Aurion Family." the nurse remarked, "It will be a few hours, minimum, before he regains consciousness, as he was still recovering from the previous dosage."

"First Kratos, now Lloyd? What the hell is going on here?!" Sheena fumed, the ribbons from the bow tied around her waist flying about as she stalked the floor, "I can't believe this! How can this happen in Mizuho?! Twice?! Are we losing our touch so badly that we allowed the Heroes of Union to be drugged within our walls?!" The innkeeper who found Zelos lying in the hallway shuffled forward in anxious shame, bowing low to the summoner as he sweated profusely.

"I'm so sorry for allowing this to happen to him! I've brought great dishonor to my family and business for this! Please! Grant me punishment for my failure to protect your companion!" he pleaded. Sheena halted and chewed on a thumbnail as she studied the redhead, tapping one foot thoughtfully.

"Look, it's not your fault. You brought no shame to yourself or anyone. We never assumed that either Kratos or Lloyd had the sense or thought to do this to themselves. It only serves to teach that our greatest enemies can sometimes be ourselves and our allies." she finally told the innkeeper, "Return to your duties, but reflect on that thought. It will serve you better caution in the future." The man thanked her, bowed again and retreated silently. "As for Lloyd, I don't know how he managed to escape Mizuho without anyone noticing, but I want him tracked and found. I'd prefer not to misuse my pact and friendship with Origin just to seek him out. We can do this ourselves."

"Right away!" the healers answered and left the room to spread the new orders to the ninjas off duty. Sheena sighed and gazed heavenward tiredly.

"What is going on, Martel? Why are my friends acting like this? And what new evil is about to befall us?" she whispered, then shut her eyes in annoyance, "And why the hell can't I get a decent idea of what to do next?! I want to kick someone's butt for all this!"