A/N: Sorry this took so long to get up, I've been preoccupied with other things lately. And the fact that the last chapter only got one review didn't make me work any faster. I want to get this story finished no matter what, but reviews definitely give me the incentive to write, which means the chapters get up faster. But thanks Shinyaa for reviewing!

And kudos to anyone who can guess where this chapter's title came from.

Ayashi Yuugi: Celestial Play

Chapter 14: Ashes and Wine

The conversation in the room grew muffled as I closed the door behind me, shutting out the voices of my fellow seishi. The apartment had gotten crowded since I'd first arrived, with the addition of three more seishi after me. It was oppressive at times, a constant reminder of the legend in which we were all hopelessly tangled. After yesterday's events in the forest, I was tired of this world of warriors, plotting, and fighting; I saw crimson wherever I turned, tasted its bitter tang on my tongue with every word I spoke. I craved fresh air, air untainted by celestial power, and felt that if I didn't get awayit would smother me.

Guilt, too, still haunted me, though Mitsukake's power had healed Miaka's wound completely. "What ifs" played through my head like a miswired film, flashing images of Miaka dying, of Subaru's glowing power-driven fist ripping through Miaka's body, Taka's tears as he roared out his anger and grief. I couldn't stand them anymore, and so I made my way out into the night, trying to shed my worries as I walked.

I didn't think about where I was going; I tried not to think at all. My feet moved of their own accord, wandering the streets as I fought to empty my mind of the conflicting emotions, memories, and fears. I didn't want to rememberfor a while – I simply wanted to walk. Maybe if I walked long enough, I can just walk away…

Yet even as I made the wish, I knew it could never come true. I was too entrenched in the story to ever find my way back out; my soul was stained with crimson, and no distance could ever wash that way. Even if I had the chance to escape it, I couldn't abandon Miaka now, when all hopes of ending it rested on all seven of us coming together.

Every hope of seeing Kourin again rested on us ending this.

Maybe, then – just maybe – I'll get Kourin back, and my family, and find a way to keep Saihitei too…

I felt almost hollow without Kourin; this was the longest we'd ever been separated, the longest I'd gone without hearing her voice. The night Saihitei brought her to me seemed like ages ago; it was a memory I could barely see through the curtain of willow branches that had fallen over my mind.

My feet seemed to follow my thoughts, and before I realized it I was on the street that led to my grandfather's temple. I must have been walking for nearly an hour, to be this far from Miaka and Taka's apartment. A thrill of fear shot up my spine, and I ducked into a narrow alley, pressing up against the cold stone.

What am I doing here? I thought, my breath catching in my throat. They'll kill me if they find me alone! And yet, Kourin was there somewhere, and Saihitei. I peeked around the corner, looking to see if anyone was on the street to see my temporary hiding place. The street was deserted at this hour of the night, but Saihitei's words echoed in my mind, and I withdrew back into the shadows. "The Chou have eyes everywhere." Just because I couldn't see my grandfather's assassins didn't mean they couldn't see me.

"This was really smart, Ryu," I muttered to myself. "Go straight to the one place in the world you'd find the most trouble." I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes as I debated what to do. More than anything I wanted to find a way into the temple, to see Kourin, to make sure she was alright. But that was as good as walking into an assassin's sword. I've let Miaka down once – I can't do it again. And if I go and get myself killed, I'll let everyone down.

Sighing, I opened my eyes, glaring at the stone wall across from me. Iwill see this story to its end. I'm tired of worrying and running and hiding. I just want this to end.

I turned to peer around the corner again only to find the entrance to the alley blocked by the shadow of a figure. I gasped, then turned to run, fear turning my blood to ice even as it sent my hear racing. They'd seen me walking down the street, lost in the fog of my thoughts, followed me here…

A hand on my arm stopped me before I could take a step, and a hand over my mouth silenced my cry. No no no no no!

Warm breath trickled down my neck, followed by the brush of long hair. "Scream, and I won't be the only one to find you."

"Saihitei," I murmured around his fingers. I relaxed, nearly collapsing against him in relief. My heart thrummed in my ears; I was certain he could hear it as well, it was beating so loudly. His hand moved from my arm to my waist to draw me deeper into the shadows, but I was too shaken to enjoy his embrace. His hand never moved from my mouth, though, but his touch softened, melting into a caress, his fingertips gentle in an almost-kiss, calming me.

"You do seem to be good at finding trouble, Ryu," Saihitei said, a smile evident in his voice. "What were you planning to do, walk up to the front gates and knock?"

I shook my head, turning to meet his honey-brown gaze through the shadows though my legs were still shaky beneath me. "I didn't mean to come here. I was – I was just walking, trying to get away for a while. It's… been a rough week."

"You're still upset about what happened yesterday in the forest."

Groaning, I let my head fall back to frown at the night sky. "You know about that?"

"I overheard Subaru telling Osamu," Saihitei replied. "It seems she's taken a personal disliking to you, after that."

I dropped my gaze to the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "I've taken a personal disliking to myself," I muttered. All the guilt I'd sought to escape came flooding back, burning my cheeks and my eyes.

Saihitei's fingers found their way to my face again, tilting my chin back up. I kept my eyes downcast, however, ashamed. Yesterday had proven me a coward; how could I face him after that? Yet my name on his lips drew my gaze to his, to the unabated warmth that lingered there. He drew me forward until we were a breath apart, his closeness sending a shiver down my spine. This is what I had relinquished my powers for; this is what I wanted, the only thing I wanted from this legend…

But Saihitei stepped back, leaving me with nothing but the chilly night air. A smile lingered in his eyes, however, and his arm still draped lightly around my waist. "This isn't the safest place for this, you know," he murmured. "You shouldn't be anywhere near here."

"I know," I sighed, leaning my head on his chest. "But I… don't want to go back yet."

He was still a while; I felt the steady rise and fall of his chest, his breath teasing my hair. After a moment his arms tightened around me, shifted me to his side as he walked deeper into the alley. "Come on."

I didn't bother to ask where we were going; I didn't care, as long as I was with Saihitei. I felt slightly guilty at that, for I knew he shouldn't be nearly as important to me as he was, especially in the face of everything else I should be concerned with. Yet I felt something deeper than mere attraction between us. It was as if I'd known him for a lifetime, as if the love blooming in me was an age-old part of me. It was more than just a teenage crush; somethingdeeper was there, even if I couldn't give it a name.

We finally reached the other end of the alley which, though still in dangerous territory, was farther away from the Chou temple. Saihitei directed me down the street, stopping in front of a car I recognized as his. He ushered me inside, then walked to the other side and slid into the driver's seat. He didn't protest when I leaned my head on his shoulder, or when I wrapped my fingers around his arm, needing the reassurance of his touch.

I didn't realize I'd dozed off until he woke me, his hand gentle on my shoulder, shaking me back to wakefulness. "You can stay and sleep in the car if you want, but it's probably safer inside."

I smiled languidly at the laughter in his voice and murmured a reply. "I'm coming." Sliding out of the car, I followed him across the street and into the lobby of a rather posh apartment building. "Is this where you live?"

"Yes." I trailed him as he stepped into the spacious elevator, watched him in silence as he hit the button for the fourth floor. He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms in front of him.

"How is Kourin?" I asked when he turned back to me.

"Osamu has been keeping her closed up since the night she ran away. I haven't been able to see her." He gave me an easy, reassuring smile. "She's fine though; Tatara genuinely cares for her, he would never let anything happen to her."

"I don't care if he cares about her," I muttered. "That doesn't change the fact that she's locked in that temple with a family that's interested in nothing but power and their hired killers."

"Like me," Saihitei said bemusedly, shaking his head when I opened my mouth to disagree. "It's true, I'm nothing more than another of Osamu's lackeys. The only difference is that I've belonged to him far longer than the others."

"You don't belong to him," I said.

Saihitei merely looked down at me, his eyes unreadable save for the heavy sadness that darkened them. A chime sounded as the doors slid open, and Saihitei walked out of the elevator, leaving me with the Chou crest emblazoned on the back of his shirt as his answer.

I followed him down the hallway, trying to keep up with his long strides. He stopped at the last door, pulled out a key, then motioned me inside. The apartment was spacious, though sparsely decorated; other than a few personal belongings strewn around, the only decoration was a single photo, a picture of a man, women, and a small child. Yet the apartment was homey in its own way, for the faint smell of cinnamon reminded me of Saihitei.

Kicking off my shoes, I made my way to the couch as Saihitei disappeared into the kitchen. He returned shortly with two glasses of wine, placing one in front of me before settling at the opposite end of the couch. He took a sip of his wine, swirled it around in his glass as he watched me taste mine. "Your grandfather bought this apartment for me," he said finally.

Uncertain how to respond – and unsure of my own feelings toward my grandfather – I remained silent, watching his face as he concentrated on the dark liquid in his glass.

"It was the final step in cementing my loyalty to him, for he knew your birthday was fast approaching and needed to plan accordingly." He tossed his hair behind his should, his gaze wandering around the room. "I already owed him my life, however, this was just another stone in my debt to him."

"Why are you so attached to him?" I asked finally, angrily. "What could he possibly have done to warrant you following him blindly through his plans?"

Saihitei looked at me then, shock glittering in his dark eyes, as if he'd never thought to question his loyalty himself. Wine sloshed in the glass as he took a long drink, and he shook his head almost wearily. "My parents owned the house behind the temple. They were good friends with your grandfather." He paused to take another drink, as if bracing himself to continue. "There was a fire, I was six, and the only one to make it out that night. Thanks to your grandfather, who'd managed to find me before it took me too. I lived at his temple after that, helping with the grounds keeping and whatever duties he needed me to perform. I learned the art of swordplay from him, and when he began building his small army in preparation for your birthday, my joining it wasn't even questioned. Which brought me here, and to you."

I shook my head, gulping down the rest of my wine. It was numbing, and yet oddly strengthening, and so I didn't protest as he refilled my glass. "How could you follow him, knowing what he wanted to do? No matter what you owed him."

"I knew his goal, but not his methods," he replied. Regret creased his features into a frown, though he kept his gaze steady as I studied him. "And when my first assignment was to find and kill you, I began to realize exactly what was being asked of me." He smiled ruefully into his glass, raised it to take another drink, then though better of it and looked over at me instead. "I would have killed you, too, if not for your eyes."

I blinked, reaching to brush my hair from my forehead self-consciously. "My eyes?"

Saihitei nodded, smiling bemusedly. "They awoke something in me, something I can't name. They're… so familiar, and yet still a mystery to me. I have dreams about them, even when I'm awake." He flushed, realizing what he'd just said, and waved his hand as if to erase it. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. You have a very odd effect on me, Ryuen. You, and the wine."

His words had sent a maelstrom of emotions crashing through me, excitement warring with fear, desire with despair, all underscored by a heart-wrenching regret,a wish that the situation could have been different. "I won't become a seishi," I murmured finally, "if that's what it takes for us to be together."

Smirking, Saihitei gave a small, sad chuckle and drained his glass. "No, Ryuen, you can't fight Fate that way. You have a duty to your priestess, just as I have a duty to Osamu. Would you have a repeat of what happened in the forest?" At my stricken look, his eyes softened, and he reached out to brush his finger across my cheek. "You cannot help being a seishi; it's who you are, and I wouldn't ask you to change that for me. Besides," he said with a smile, "I may never have met you had you not brought this legend to life."

"But all this legend has done is cause pain." I sniffed, hiding the tears that burned at my eyes behind my glass as I took another long drink. "I would give anything for it to be over. Then… then things would be different, and we wouldn't be enemies…" I trailed off as Saihitei shook his head again, his lips still curled in a smile.

"Everything happens for a reason. I don't know how this story ends, but it's already written, and we cannot change it."

"I don't believe that," I murmured. "Taka said the legend writes itself, that it's based on the choices we make. We can decide our own futures; there are no words that cannot be erased." Sighing, I looked over at the picture on the table, the picture of Saihitei and his parents. "I have to believe that, otherwise I don't think I could bear it."

My words seemed only to sadden Saihitei, for he placed his glass on the table and followed my gaze thoughtfully to the photo. After a few minutes I took his hand, watching as his brooding frown changed to a small smile.

Longing shot through me with an almost physical force, and I tightened my grip on his hand, slipping my fingers through his. Our closeness must have had the same effect on Saihitei, for he leaned forward, his hand moving to trail lightly down my cheek, then drawing me closer until our lips brushed. Gently at first, then deeper as he moved closer, his fingers releasing mine and winding through the loose pattern of my braid. I clutched at him desperately, my hand closing around his arm, unwilling to let him go now that I had finally found something good among all the heartache.

We parted only to take a breath, and then I was lost in him once more, letting myself fall completely into the security of being in his arms. Here, I could almost forget the legend, forget my grandfather, forget the willow that burned crimson on my chest. It was as if I'd found a part of me I'd lost long ago, and now that I had it back, nothing else mattered.

Breathless, I clung to him, my face buried in his long hair. I was content to stay here forever, to let the legend play itself out without us, though some part of me knew we had to return to it in order to end it. This brief respite would end, and we'd be enemies again; yet I would keep this night forever, next to my heart with Kourin's locket and the symbol of my destiny.

Saihitei shifted, moving me more securely in his arms as I rested my head against his shoulder. Though we belonged to the legend, I wanted to claim this as my own, to give myself to Saihitei rather than Suzaku. Murmuring his name, I leaned up to brush my lips against his ear and whispered, "I love you."

He tensed beneath me, his arms loosening their hold around my waist. With a worried frown, I leaned back to meet his gaze, yet his eyes were guarded once more.

"Saihitei?" I asked tentatively.

Sorrow clouded his gaze, and he looked away, and when he turned back to me it had been replaced by a hollow smile. He drew me into another kiss, this one slow and tender and heavy with regret. I let myself sink into it, ignoring the fact that his only reply had been a heartrending grief.

That kiss lasted until I almost forgot Saihitei's silence. It ended as slowly as it began, with his hand cupping my cheek and the same empty smile twisting his features into a false reassurance. He kissed my eyelids, then leaned back, his hand still covering my own. "Come, Ryu, it's late. You can have my bed tonight. I'll take you back to Yuki's tomorrow."

I nodded, following him into the bedroom and taking the offered pajamas. He wished me goodnight with another kiss, this one simple and short, and left me with a smile. And yet, whether it was the wine or my own conflicted heart, I couldn't help but feel a little despondent at the thought of sleeping alone tonight.

-x-

A/N: Like I said, reviews will make the next chapter come sooner! And I honestly want to know what you think about the story - suggestions are always welcome!