They spent the next two days at the cabin in similar fashion, watching television, talking about neutral topics, taking walks together since the late winter weather had been fairly mild. The evening of the second day, they sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, Beth curled up next to Dean, reading as he nursed a whiskey and stared unblinking into the flames. Beth heard him make some small noise and glanced up to see his eyes filled with tears as he struggled to control his emotions. She laid her book down, taking his drink from his hand and setting it on the table. "Dean? What is it? You can tell me."
He leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees, breathing hard, his voice harsh as he fought against breaking down. "He was my son, Beth. At least he was for a year. And I couldn't save him." Dean's shoulders shook with silent sobs, and Beth cried with him, rising to her knees to put her arms around him.
"I'm so sorry, Dean." She moved as he leaned back, straddling his lap, clinging to him as tightly as she could, his arms wrapped desperately around her. She laid her head on his shoulder, crying with him, feeling as if her heart was breaking from the agonizing pain she could feel radiating from him. They sat that way for an hour after they had both calmed, holding each other, comforting each other without words.
Beth sat on the couch in front of the fire, a blanket wrapped around her, hot coffee warming her hands. The fire was just beginning to take off, and she was glad to feel the warmth. It was early, not even sunrise, but she hadn't slept much the night before. Dean had finally been able to sleep more peacefully, exhausted after finally giving his grief free rein. Beth had cradled him in her arms all night.
She made breakfast for them later, which they ate together in front of the fireplace. Dean hesitantly began to talk about Ben, what a great kid he'd been, even smiling a little as he told her of the first time he met the boy. Once he started, the memories flowed, and he told Beth everything-his year with Lisa, his attempt at living a normal life, Sam coming back, Dean being turned by the vamp-and then the demon attack, and Cas wiping Lisa and Ben's memories of him. Beth put a hand softly on his face, tears in her eyes as she whispered, "You have had so much pain in your life, Dean. I'm sorry."
He pulled her close, his arms tight around her. "He knew me, Beth." He took a moment to compose himself before continuing. "When I found him-he was dying-he looked up at me and said my name. He remembered me. But the wendigo had him so torn up, there wasn't anything I could do but hold his hand and tell him he'd be okay, that I was there." His voice broke as he finished, and Beth tightened her grip on him. "He was a good kid, Beth. I just wish..." His voice trailed off into silence.
"He knew you came for him, Dean."
"I never even thought about being close to Cicero. It didn't occur to me that Ben could be one of the kids camping at Summit Lake. When I saw him-Coop..."
"I know," Beth whispered, her hand gently smoothing his hair. After a moment or two, Dean loosened his grip on her and she moved away, sitting back beside him, rubbing his back. He rose from the couch and walked to the mantle, reaching for the bottle of whiskey, but stopped and stood there, his head hanging. Beth moved to stand behind him, her arms around his waist, and she felt his hand cover hers.
"Help me, Beth," he whispered harshly. She hugged him tight for a moment, then took a step back, putting a hand on his arm and urging him around to face her. She put her hands gently on his face, reaching up to kiss him tenderly.
"Whatever you need, Dean." A lone tear escaped and ran down her face. "Just tell me what you need, I want to help you. I just don't know how. I wish I did." She wrapped her arms back around him, laying her head on his chest and holding him tight.
Beth snuggled on his shoulder that night in bed, absently tracing her finger over the scar on his chest. "Are you okay, Dean?" she asked softly; he had been quiet most of the rest of the day, and she was a little worried.
"I'm okay, Coop." He tightened his arms around her and took a breath. "I was just wondering how Lisa's doing-Ben was pretty much all she had. I mean, she has her parents, but..."
Beth reached to kiss his cheek. "She had you-but I guess she doesn't remember that, does she?"
"No. And she...well, she kind of had me, but it wasn't much of a bargain, that's for sure."
Beth pulled back to look at him, even though the room was too dark to really see his face. "Why would you say that, Dean?"
"It's true. Sam was gone, I was broken. I mean, really broken. More like a wounded animal for a while, I think. I don't know why she put up with me."
"You're so hard on yourself, Dean. You were there for a year, there must have been something."
Dean kissed Beth's forehead and pulled her close again. "I just kind of escaped there for a while. I don't know, I think I was more in love with the idea of having a family, and being a dad to Ben, than I ever was really with her. I mean, I loved her, but I don't know, it was different. She was always there for me, it's just too bad I can't be there for her now."
"Do you want to see her? I mean, you could go, maybe it would give you some closure."
"No. It'd be kind of hard to explain why I was there."
Beth kissed his shoulder and hugged him gently. "I'm sorry, Dean."
"Don't be." His hand came over to rest on her cheek and he kissed her softly. "I've got you, Coop." He kissed her again, this time a little harder, and his hand slid down her arm and over to her waist, slipping underneath her shirt.
Beth gasped softly as he touched her, her hand sliding from his chest down his body, and she nipped gently at his lip. "Done talking?" she breathed, and he turned her onto her back, hovering just above her.
"Done talking," he said, then crushed his lips to hers and let himself forget everything but Beth, soft and warm beneath him.
Beth was happy to see the burden of Dean's grief lighten over the next few days. He still had his dark moments, but they were fewer and not as crushing. She knew the day was coming when they would have to leave, to go back to their real lives, and she was treasuring every moment at the cabin.
One early morning, Beth woke up in bed alone. She didn't hear the shower, so she got up, wandering barefoot into the living room. She could see Dean by the patio door, staring out at the mountains. He was still in his boxers, so he hadn't been up long.
She slipped up behind him and slid her arms around him, laying her face against his back. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, placing a gentle kiss on his skin.
He straightened, turning to pull her into his arms. "Yeah, most of the time," he answered truthfully, and she felt him place a kiss on top of her head as she snuggled contentedly against him. He pulled back a little, his hand moving to her face as he kissed her lips, caressing them gently with his own until she sighed a little and his mouth quirked into a smile. "Coop-you wanna go for a drive? Just take Baby and see where she leads?"
"That sounds great to me," she murmured.
They got dressed and got into the car, and Beth slid over next to Dean as he started the Impala's rumbling engine and smiled down at her briefly before heading down the drive. She smiled as she rested her head on his shoulder, happy that she was finally seeing him smile again.
They drove for a while, listening to the music, enjoying the scenery. By mid-morning, they were heading down the scenic route through Glacier National Park, stopping occasionally at a lookout point to lean against the car and admire the view, enjoying the unseasonably warm day, almost 70 degrees. They stopped at a restaurant near the end of the Going-To-The-Sun Road to grab lunch, before continuing their road trip.
They finally left the state park, driving through Saint Mary, and Dean turned onto a gravel road, tired of taking the beaten path. Beth sighed, reaching up to kiss his stubbly cheek, content to stay this way forever if it was possible.
Dean reached for the cassette player, ejecting the Led Zeppelin tape and handing it to Beth. "Pick one," he said, and she dug through the box, a slow smile sliding across her face as she put a tape into the player. Dean gave a half-smile, nodding his approval as Bad Company began to play. "Good choice."
Beth was still smiling as she placed a soft kiss on his neck, right under his jaw line, and his arm tightened around her. 'Good Lovin' Gone Bad' was blasting from the speakers, and she smiled to herself as her fingers began tracing a languorous pattern on his denim-clad thigh. She felt him catch his breath as she allowed her hand to wander higher on his leg. Cuddling all day on his shoulder, combined with the music she had chosen, had made her hungry for him, and she wanted to share the favor.
"Making it kind of hard to stay on the road, Coop," he said, a rough edge to his voice.
Beth looked up at him, a sensual smile curving her lips. "Then maybe you should pull over, Winchester," she said, as her hand trailed its way even higher and found its mark, making him inhale sharply through his clenched teeth.
"Damn, Coop, let me get stopped," he growled softly, taking a turn into the first deserted farm place he spotted, parking behind a half-standing barn. He turned off the engine, leaving the music playing, and laid his head on the back of the seat, his eyes closing, moaning softly as Beth's hand teased at the bulge in his jeans. She turned towards him, kissing his neck and down his jawline, making her way to his parted lips. She leaned into him, nibbling gently at his lower lip, her hand continuing its ministrations until a low growl emanated from his throat.
He buried one hand in her hair, holding her as his lips answered hers with equal passion. He met the thrust of her tongue with his own, his other hand busily engaged in undoing the buttons of her shirt. Beth whimpered softly into his mouth as his fingers found the soft skin mounding above the lacy top of her bra, and his thumb rubbed firmly against her nipple. He pulled back from her, looking into her glowing eyes, her tongue darting out to briefly touch her lower lip, and he felt searing heat flood through his veins at the expression on her face. "Why don't we get into the back?" he asked, his voice husky, and she nodded, looking into his green eyes for a moment before moving her hand and moving away from him slightly as he opened the door.
Dean climbed out of the Impala, holding out a hand to help her out of the driver's side door. She was glad for his assistance, because her legs felt so weak she wasn't sure she could stand. As soon as she was out, Dean moved her up against the back door, pressing his body against hers and kissing her again, his hands sliding her shirt down her arms and letting it fall to the ground. He put his hands on her waist and moved her farther towards the back of the car, lifting her to seat her on the back fender, his green eyes glowing with heat as he looked into her face. He pushed his way between her legs, pressing his erection against her and watching with lustful pleasure as her eyes closed, her lashes long and soft against her cheeks, her head dropping back and her lips parting as she fought for breath. He held her with one muscular arm to her back, his hand cradling her neck as he leaned her back further, his lips caressing the soft skin of her neck, just below her ear, then making their way downward to the curve of her shoulder. His other hand still cupped her breast, teasing the nipple into an almost painful peak, and he pushed himself against her even harder as she whispered his name.
He deftly unfastened her bra with one hand, then using his other hand to slide the straps from her shoulders and toss the garment over his shoulder. He leaned her back once more, lowering his mouth to her breasts, and Beth fought to keep her composure as he teased at first one, then the other. He raised his head to look down at her hungrily, growling softly, "Beth, you are so beautiful," grinding himself against her with such force that she cried out, almost reaching the peak of her passion then and there. Somewhere in the back of her mind it registered that 'Feel Like Makin' Love' had begun to play, and she sighed at the perfection of the moment.
Dean pulled her back upright, pulling off his long-sleeved shirt and, keeping his eyes on Beth's face, reaching behind her to lay it over the surface of the car. She reached to pull up the hem of his t-shirt, and he helped as she pulled it over his head, then leaned in to kiss a trail over his chest. He laid the t-shirt down behind her as well, then laid her back carefully onto his discarded clothing. He slowly slid his hands down her arms, then up again, and then over her breasts, where he lingered, watching her face as he played. His fingers trailed their way down her sides, coming to rest at her waist, and reaching for the button on her jeans. He continued to watch her as he unzipped her jeans, lifting her hips to slide them from under her, gliding them slowly down her legs as he let his fingers stroke the smooth skin along the way. Beth's head was lolling to and fro, her dark hair spilled over the surface of the trunk, and Dean gazed down at her, almost unable to contain himself. He bent down to capture a nipple in his mouth, and Beth's hand came up to grasp at him as she moaned softly.
"Dean..." she whispered, and when he moved his attention to the other breast, her arm fell away as all strength left her limbs. She felt as though he was touching her everywhere at once, his hands slightly rough on her skin, his lips caressing and his teeth nibbling gently, and she had no coherent thought left, only sensation. He slid her panties down her legs, kissing his way down as he went, then threw them to the ground and stood looking down at her. His fingers teased at the inside of her thighs, and he kissed her belly, then worked his way down, nipping softly at her hip. When Beth felt the touch of his lips gently nibbling at her core, she bucked against him, almost losing control.
"Easy, baby, I'm just getting started," he murmured, his voice warm, and he set his tongue to tasting her. He growled softly as she began to whimper incoherently, unable to stop her body from pushing itself towards him, her hands grasping for something to hold onto but finding only the slick surface of the car. His mouth burned a trail down the soft skin on her inner thigh as he mercilessly ignored her mindless pleading, then suddenly plunged his tongue inside her, moaning loudly at her cries of ecstasy as he drank her in. "You are so sweet, Beth," he muttered, kissing her thighs, and her stomach, and then sucking a nipple into his mouth as his hand slid up the inside of her thigh and continued to pleasure her, causing her to catch her lip between her teeth for a moment, unsure if she could continue breathing.
"Please...Dean..." she panted softly, and he raised his head to gaze down at her, his green eyes dark with passion.
"What do you want, Beth? Just tell me, I'll do it for you, baby." His fingers were still working their magic, and Beth fought for words as he played her body like an instrument.
"I want you inside me, Dean. I want you so bad," she whispered, moaning as he found that perfect spot deep inside her once again. He stopped his play, helping her sit up and reaching for the button on his jeans. Beth pushed his hands away and lowered the zipper herself, sliding her hand inside to grasp him as Dean threw his head back, teeth bared, lowering his pants and boxers. Beth pulled him down to kiss him hungrily, and then he pulled back slightly, staring down at her.
Dean's tongue played over his lips as he slowly, deliberately slid into her, pulling her almost off of the car to give himself access. She wrapped her legs around him, her hands on his broad shoulders, and he drove into her, filling her totally and making her gasp. "Did I hurt you?" he asked softly, and she shook her head, clinging to his shoulders as he braced her against the car and slid out almost completely. She whimpered again, her body trying to prevent him from leaving, and then he slammed into her again, causing her to cry out, her nails digging into his back as her muscles grasped at him. He pulled back very slowly again and again, an exquisite torture, only to plunge powerfully into her each time. Soon his control left him and he was thrusting fast and hard, feeling Beth's climax hit her, the spasms at her core sending him over the edge, and he shouted as he came, feeling Beth's teeth on his shoulder, and almost dropping to the ground. He turned, Beth still part of him, and leaned back on the Impala, clinging to her as much as she was to him. She was kissing his neck softly, then put her lips next to his ear, whispering, "I love you, Dean."
"I love you too, Coop," he breathed, holding her close, looking into her eyes as she raised her head and capturing her lips with his. He bucked a little inside her as he kissed her, and she giggled as her muscles gave one last little spasm, making Dean's eyes close and his head rear back a little. "Damn, baby," he murmured into her ear, then kissed her again, softly and gently, pouring his heart into it.
They gathered Beth's clothes, laying them on top of the Impala as they got dressed. Beth grabbed her bra, and Dean pulled her close, his hand on her breast as he kissed her, so sweetly that she felt tears sting her eyes. He raised his head to gaze down at her, speaking softly. "You're amazing, Beth. I still can't believe that you love me. I still can't believe you take me for what I am and don't run away screaming." He moved his hand to her face and kissed her again, then leaned his forehead on hers, looking down into her tear-filled eyes. "I don't know if I would have made it through this last couple of weeks without you."
Dean brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb as she replied. "I can't believe that you think you're so hard to love. It's the easiest thing in the world to me." Dean kissed her gently again, and they finished dressing, then slid back into the Impala to wander their way down the road back to the cabin, Beth's head once again resting on Dean's shoulder.