Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are all property of Stephenie Meyer. No profit is being made from this piece of work. No copyright infringement is intended.

14. Mistletoe

That night I dreamt James was a werewolf who turned at full moon and attacked me. Edward stood right next to him, watching. He didn't try to help at all.

Instead of waking up with a cry as I usually did during a nightmare, I woke up casually but determined. I knew now that Edward had heard every word I had said the night before and I needed to make things right with him.

Especially since we only had about a month to clear out the house in Phoenix and I felt the need to get it over with as soon as possible. When I'd first come to Forks I knew my chances of ever going back home were well below zero. I was scented – werewolves would brave the mistletoe just to rip me apart and claim me as their kill. But it still saddened me to have to go back and say a proper goodbye to the place. The last time I was there was during the night of the attack…

Shaking my head, I forced myself not to think about that night as I hurriedly got dressed. Thanks to the mistletoe in my room I no longer felt threatened by the full moon but I knew it was a different story back in Phoenix. I knew we would have to leave soon to avoid the full moon.

I rang Alice on my way out of the house.

"You're bunking off because you've got some making up to do with your boyfriend," Alice said the moment she picked up the Office phone.

"You're a mind reader," I smiled.

"No, that would be Edward," Alice replied in the same flat tone.

I hesitated before saying, "Hey, Alice, you know I don't mean to offend anyone when I say that I don't want to be a Vamp."

"Hmm," Alice said on the other end. "Well, it doesn't offend me since you're not the other half of my soul but I can imagine Edward would be feeling pretty beat up about it."

"Crap."

"Exactly," she said. "Good luck."

She hung up, leaving me staring at the phone for a couple of minutes. I really needed to be more polite. I had to remember that not all Vamps were bad. The Vamps in Forks actually seemed nice.

On the drive over to Edward's, I thought about James. So I knew he was Mated to a Vamp but did that change anything? Victoria had seemed upset that he didn't want to be turned but that didn't mean she knew about the Angels. But Edward said everybody knew about the Angels and nobody cared because, as far as the Vamps could see, they were harmless.

I decided to just store the information away for later. I wouldn't confront James about it nor tell anybody else. Part of me wanted to keep it to use as bribery should James get a little too much for me. And part of me felt guilty for even thinking that.

Edward's house was silent when I pulled up. It usually was but this time there was the sort of silence around it that might be found when the occupants were asleep. Edward never slept obviously. I wondered if he was even here of if he'd spent the night at the Vampire Hotel playing chess with the others.

"Edward?" I called out casually, certain he would hear me if he was home. Heck, even a human could have heard my truck barreling over the uneven forest ground. "Edward, I need to talk to you."

I walked into his house without waiting for him to come to me. Silence. And then…

The softest sound of piano music filled the air. First they were light notes, almost hesitant, but then they became more confident until a wonderful tune danced its way towards me.

It was coming from upstairs.

I didn't know what to do. Of course Edward was the only person who could be up there except for his family but I felt intrusive going up there when he hadn't shown me around in the past times I'd been here.

"Edward," I said, raising my voice slightly and then regretting it as it seemed to spoil the music. "Edward, I'm coming upstairs." I thought it would be nice to give him some warning.

I began to take the stairs as hesitantly as those first few notes of music. I was sure Edward was angry with me but I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by going up to him. Surely if he didn't want me to see anything up there then he would come down and stop me.

Upstairs all the doors were closed barring one that led to a large room at the front of the cottage. It was half-open and inside I could see Edward with his back to me playing the piano.

Gaining confidence, I walked over to him.

"That sounds amazing," I said when I was right next to him. The playing stopped. He wouldn't look at me. "I didn't know you could play."

"When we first met, Esme warned me not to show off," he muttered, talking to his lap.

Sighing, I gave his thigh a gentle nudge with my knee and he moved over making room for me on the small bench. We sat close together, our knees touching, and though there was that vibe of attraction that always ran between us on a never-ending current it was dimmed with the tension.

"It wouldn't have been showing off," I assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Edward, I'm sorry about what you heard last night."

"I shouldn't have been listening," he said quietly. "Is that really what you think of us, Bella? Don't lie to me if it is."

I sighed. "It's only true about some of your species though," I said. "I love you, for example and I like your friends."

He looked up at me, his golden eyes boring into mine. I decided then and there that I needed to show Edward the respect he always seemed to be showing for me. Or at least trying to show.

"I love you, Edward," I told him sincerely. "You're my…Vampire."

I had no idea using the full title meant so much to him but the word had barely left my mouth before he pulled my onto his lap and started to kiss me. My back connected with a few keys, tuneless notes were thrown into the air.

"Say it again," he rasped between kisses.

"Vampire?" It came out as a question because I couldn't believe for one second that that was the word that had gotten such response from him. However, it was.

"You know," he said, kissing down my neck. I gripped his shirt as a wave of fear shot through me. I was always nervous letting Edward near my neck. "I've thought about this. About you, me on the piano–"

"Edward, we need to talk about Phoenix!" I blurted before he could go any further.

He froze before slowly detaching his lips from my neck. "I can hear your pulse racing," he murmured, his breath tickling my skin. "Is that out of fear or…" he trailed off suggestively.

"Both," I admitted quietly. "You've never told me how much my blood appeals to you."

"A lot," was all he said about the matter before he pulled away and looked into my eyes. "What about Phoenix?" he asked.

"Well, when are we going to go?" I asked.

"In case you hadn't noticed, Bella, I've not exactly got the busiest schedule ever," he said, smirking slightly. "Whenever you're ready we'll go."

"Tomorrow then?" I asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "So soon?"

"If we go tomorrow we can be back before the full moon."

"Ah," he nodded. "I'm sorry I neglected that thought."

"Can you smell the beastie's scent on me?" I asked. It was something I had been wondering about for a while. Edward beamed when I used the insult for the werewolves.

"No," he said. "It only appeals to others of their kind and even then it's just at full moon."

"Good," I sighed.

"So what do you want to do now?" he asked.

"Well, I got Alice to excuse me from school for the whole day so…"

Edward grinned before his lips descended on mine.

(*)

"Be careful, Bells," was Charlie's warning the next day.

"I'll be back in a week," I promised, swinging my rucksack onto my shoulder. "God, this thing weighs a tone," I complained.

"Just lean forward when you're on my back and I'll take the weight of it," Edward explained, offering his back to me.

I clambered on ungracefully and Edward's hands latched securely to the underneath of my thighs. Charlie watched in amusement. "You're like a packhorse," he said to Edward.

"Yes, sir," Edward said, smiling. "You ready, Bella?"

I tucked my head into Edward's neck and began breathing shallowly. "Ready," I said, my voice muffled.

The feeling of the ground being pulled from underneath me told me Edward had started running. I could only imagine the shocked look on Charlie's face as we left him behind.

We ran for hours, taking short breaks every now and again for me to recuperate.

"I haven't been running for ages," Edward told me on one particular stop. "It's exhilarating. You done yet?"

"No! Don't turn around!" I screamed as I tried master the art of peeing in a bush.

We camped for one night and arrived in Phoenix just in time to spend the night in the house. Edward frowned when I retrieved the spare set of keys the Council had mailed me to open the front door.

"You have keys?" he asked.

I nodded. "Vamp…ires have a lot more to deal with round here with all the werewolves and that so we get the odd burglary now and again." I didn't tell him that the fact Charlie didn't use keys was more of a shock to me than this was to him.

Inside the house was just the same as ever; no upstairs, a large room acting as the kitchen, dining room and living room, a bathroom and two bedrooms. It looked a mess, not just because of its size and the cheap furniture but because it had been neglected for months. Everything was just as it was the night the attack happened before I was hauled to hospital and Renee and Phil were sent to the police station. Even when I went back here to get some clothes to move to Forks, I hadn't touched anything.

Edward didn't say anything but let me absorb every little part of what used to be my home. "This was my height chart," I showed him, wanting to share every little piece of me with him. I took his hand and led him to the doorway of the bathroom where, beside the door, were pencil markings increasing up the wall as I grew up. He smiled, stroking the sketches delicately.

"You were a small kid," he pointed out.

"I was ugly too," I joked, grabbing a photograph from the chipped side table by the worn sofa. I showed it him, a lump forming in my throat.

The photo was of my mom and me before she met Phil. I was eight years old when it was taken and it was shortly after I'd learned to ride my bike. It wasn't that I disliked Phil but I'd been a lot happier when it was just Renee and me. I try to tell myself that it was only because I had been younger and it was during the time when I thought the Vampires protected us and not controlled us.

"Is that your mom?" he asked, pointing to her in the photo. I nodded, too emotional over seeing her face to be upset by the fact he didn't contradict my joke on me being ugly.

"She looks like you," he said.

"Nah, she's a lot prettier," I disagreed. "At first glance some people thought she was a Vampire."

"I don't have any photographs of my parents," Edward said sadly. "I wish I could share something with you."

"Hey, it's okay," I said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He paused for a moment before saying, "I could tell you how Vampires drink if you like?" I stared at him, stunned. "And why the werewolves mean so much to us."

"What brought this on?" I asked surprised.

Edward sighed and replaced the photograph on the side table. "It was a long journey," he said. "Maybe you want to freshen up?"

I had never changed into my pajamas so fast in my life. My mind was buzzing with all the new secrets Edward was now willing to open up to me about. He was going to answer questions only Qualified humans got to know; questions I had been wondering about my entire life. I was afraid to take too long in case he changed his mind. The only reason I didn't protest was that I knew he would need time to think and get his head around what he was going to tell me.

Edward was sat on the sofa when I returned, staring into a corner of the room. I sat next to him, cuddling up to his hard, cold side. He blinked as if coming out of a trance, looked at me and put his arm around me.

"Are you still going to tell me?" I asked. He nodded. "Why?"

"Because you're my Mate, Bella," he said. "And, though I know you can never become one of us, I think you should know everything."

"Thank you," I whispered.

Edward sighed and shifted slightly so we were both sat up and facing one another. I took his hand in mine, tracing light patterns to calm him down. He sighed again, ran his other hand over his face and began.

"Bella, do you remember me saying a while ago that Vampires are being controlled too?" he asked. I nodded, afraid to speak and break the spell. "Well, our feeding habits are the main thing that the Volturi control. Our natural instinct has always been – will always be – to feed off live human blood." He swallowed thickly. I found myself shifting ever-so-slightly away from him. "But we're not allowed to do that," he sighed, pretending he hadn't seen my reaction. "We – or the other Vampires – are only allowed as much as will keep our strength up and we have to drink the blood at the Blood Banks there and then."

I raised my eyebrows. "That doesn't sound too bad," I tried to reason.

"You wouldn't understand, Bella," he sighed. "You're not a Vampire. It's humiliating to have to drink the blood of animals, yes, but to have to drink blood that's not fresh in a room full of other Vampires is mortifying. It's not what we are designed for."

"But if that's the case then why don't the Volturi just let you go…crazy?" I asked. "It's not like us humans could stop you."

"Control, Bella," Edward smiled wryly. "It's all about control."

I guess the blood-drinking thing would never be something I would fully understand but it was nothing like I had imagined. I imagined Vampires in their homes, fridges full of blood which they heated in the microwave whenever it was dinnertime.

I looked at my wrist, trailing the veins visible through my pale skin.

"Edward?" I began hesitantly. "Would you like to try my blood?"

He looked at me, a wild look in his eyes. "Don't do that, Bella," he rasped, his voice similar to when we were making out against his piano. "You can't offer me something like that and expect me to refuse."

"I don't expect you to refuse," I told him, frowning. "You can have a taste if you want. At least it would give you some advantage to having a human Mate."

"Bella!" he was digging his face into the back of the sofa now, his teeth gritted. "I can't," he hissed. "I won't be able to stop."

"Oh god," I said, feeling my face paling in horror. "I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't know it appealed to you so much."

"It does," he said, half moaning. "My throat burns all the time I'm with you."

"Burns?" I questioned.

"The thirst," he explained, seeming more relaxed now we were slowly leaving the topic of my blood behind. "That's what it's like to us; like our throat is on fire."

"Oh, Edward," I said. "I didn't know." I took his face in my hands, trying to show how sorry I was until I realized my wrist was close to his mouth and I pulled my hands away. "I didn't know the thirst was a physical pain."

He smiled without humor. "It wouldn't exactly be a good way of advertising Vampirism," he said. "We tend not to tell people that. Same with the turning process."

I frowned. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I've heard rumors that people just go to sleep and wake up a Vampire."

Edward shook his head. "In my case Tanya bit me and her venom spread through my body. It's part of the Mating ceremony. Carlisle says Qualified humans are bitten personally by the Volturi Leaders. It's why so the waiting list is so long for the Qualified humans to turn – there are only three Leaders."

"So you just get bitten?" I asked, drinking up every little bit of information he was offering.

"And then you burn for three days straight," he said bitterly, his face twisting as he no doubt remembered the pain he went through.

"Burn?" I asked, my voice higher than usual.

"The venom burns its way through our body," he explained. "Yes, it pretty much heals you along the way until you're a perfect Vampire but the pain…"

I shut my eyes as something fell into place. "And you have perfect memories so…"

"We remember every second of it."

I opened my eyes again, surprised to find they were slightly damp as I imagine all those poor souls desperate for a new life only to have to go through three days of agony to get it. It was odd how I was even pitying Vamp Groupies now.

"So what about the werewolves?" I asked, desperate to move on. I hoped this topic wouldn't be as painful as the other two.

"Once we've turned, our newborn year is when we're at our worst," Edward began. "Our human blood is still in our tissues so we are stronger and we are not used to the thirst so our first instinct is to run and slaughter the first town we come across."

I winced. It was Edward's turn to hold my hand now. He stroked it gently, his icy fingers nice in the Arizonian evening heat.

"The Volturi keep us in check by keeping us at some sort of detention centre," Edward smiled at the name he gave it. "As far as I know it's not called anything because the Volturi don't want people to know it exists. They want people to think becoming a Vampire is the nicest experience in the world." He chuckled slightly though it was clear he didn't find it funny at all. "They train us there, teach us to control ourselves and then they give us tests."

"Tests? You have to study to be a Vampire?" I asked stupidly.

"Not those kinds of tests," Edward smiled. "Every full moon we were presented with a pint of blood and told not to drink it. It was the hardest thing any of us could imagine. We were so young, so new, and our throats burned in such a foreign way we thought if we didn't drink we would go mad."

"How did you do it?"

He looked uncomfortable. "I thought of my prize at the end," he said. "Tanya."

"Of course," I said wryly. He looked at me in panic, no doubt expecting me to start something. "It's okay," I assured him, finally ready to accept Edward had had a life before me. "Go on."

"But some of us couldn't control ourselves and that meant certain death," he said. I stared at him – I had not expected that. "They had werewolves locked up in silver cages, watching us and when one of us failed they threw them in."

I was aware my mouth was hanging open but I was in such shock I didn't care.

"We watched them get ripped to shreds. It was a warning to the rest of us not to disobey the laws. It's what they do with all the Vampires who break the laws – that's why they need the werewolves."

"But…but," I stammered. I was sure there was a point swirling round in my head, desperate to make itself known, but I couldn't locate it.

It was as if Edward read my mind. "The Volturi protect werewolves like yours because they want to be on their good side. We all know werewolves can kill Vampires at full moon but instead of destroying them, the Volturi plan to use them to their advantage."

"Oh my god, Edward," I said, tears burning in my eyes as I thought of all he went through. "I am so sorry."

"It's okay," he said. "I suppose it was only worse for me because I could hear what everyone was thinking. I could hear the Volturi Guards wanting us to fail so they'd get a good show, I could hear when someone was about to crack and I could even hear the hungered minds of the werewolves."

"Do they even think?"

"At a basic primal level, yes," Edward said. "They just wonder when their next meal will be."

I shivered.

"Here's something to cheer you up," he said. He leaned over and plucked the piece of mistletoe off the side table that had been there for over half a year now. "Years ago, Tanya told me, before it was found to be useful against werewolves, mistletoe was something people used to kiss under at Christmas."

He held the small now shriveled plant above the air between us.

I didn't believe him. How could something used to fend off beasts be used for romance too? But I kissed him anyway.