Life is crazy. That is pretty much my only honest excuse for not posting sooner. I am soooo sorry! To all of my loving fans: forgive me! I still adore you all! Well, here is the newest chapter. To make up for it being so overdue, it is nice and long (six pages in word. Right on!) Read. Review. Enjoy.


Alice POV

I awoke the next morning in a pleasant mood; for the first time in over a day I had eaten a decent meal the night before, and seeing Jasper across from me throughout the entire night made it nothing short of perfect. The sight of his pale, bare chest filled my eyesight as my eyes fluttered open, and, after a moment of enjoying this view, I sat up. No more than five seconds later did I regret this movement, as a wave of heavy nausea slammed into me with exceeding force. I saw a fleeting view of Jazz's eyes opening as I literally leaped off the bed. I ran to the bathroom, and was leaning over the toilet as Jasper entered. I was able to choke out a demand for him to leave the room before I started emptying my stomach and, due to his silence, I thought he had until I felt him sit behind me, his hand rubbing circles into my back.

Eventually, it stopped, and I flopped onto the floor, pushing Jasper's hand away from me.

"Jazz, please, just get out of here," I muttered against the cool tile of the bathroom. He disregarded my plea, and remained sitting on the floor as I pushed myself off the floor and stood.

"Seriously, Jasper," I said, glaring at him slightly over my shoulder as I squeezed a dollop of toothpaste onto my toothbrush. "Really, please leave."

"Why?" He said, standing, and wrapping an arm casually around my waist as I brushed furiously.

I spat toothpaste into the sink before meeting his eyes in the mirror. "Because," I started, pushing his arm off of my hips. "I look terrible. I feel terrible. I smell vile, and the last thing I want is for you to see me like this!"

He let out a loud laugh as I stamped my foot angrily.

"I'm serious, Jazz! Go," I said, resuming my brushing. He grinned at me proudly in the mirror, happy with his determination to stay. I rolled my eyes as he did so, and ignored him as I attempted to remove every bit of the remaining vile taste that lingered in my mouth. After brushing twice, and swishing mouth wash for a full four minutes, I felt slightly less unpleasant, and stalked out of the bathroom, Jasper on my heels. As I entered the kitchen, he caught me around my waist and spun me around, one hand resting on the small of my back, the other on my lower abdomen.

"Don't be mad, Love," he said softly, smiling slightly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not mad, Jasper."

He chuckled, his eyes refusing to let mine go. "Too bad. I thought I was going to have to convince you."

Arching my eyebrows, I smiled. "I'd like to see that. I am a pretty stubborn person, Jazz."

He let out a laugh, and murmured the words, "Like I didn't know that," before pressing his lips strongly to mine, catching me by surprise, making me take a short gasp.

After a few moments, my fingers remaining twined in his hair, I pulled back slightly.

"What was that for?" I murmured softly, and Jazz grinned.

"To convince you to not be mad at me."

I smiled at him. "I told you that I wasn't mad."

"Alright, fine. That was for you being the incredibly beautiful, sweet, intelligent, and very sexy love of my life. That one work?"

I laughed, and blushed slightly, pressing my lips to his strongly, while his hands held my waist tightly. "Works for me."

After a few moments, I pulled away, separating from Jasper completely. To answer his questioning look, I grimaced. "We have work, Jazz."

He scrunched up his face, and gave an aggravated sigh. "Damn work. Can't I just quit and stay here with you?"

"No," I replied sharply as I walked into the kitchen, him on my heels. "We have a baby coming. We need the money. And anyway, you staying here would do you little good. I'm headed to the shop today." He gave another disgruntled sigh as I grinned and poured a tall glass of orange juice. I took a long sip of the sweet, tangy juice before looking up at him. "Don't be like that, Jazz. We both need to go to work; Rose might kill me if I miss another day. Plus, you are new at the college; you can't miss too many days."

Jasper grumbled, shot me a breathtaking grin, and headed to the bathroom; moments later, I heard water pour from the showerhead. I pressed the cool glass to my lips, tipping my head back, downing the rest of the tangy juice before pouring another full glass. Glass in hand, I made my way towards the living room, curling into the corner of the couch, and reopening the copy of Vogue that I had tossed onto the glass coffee table last night. Seeing as my "work" was running a small fashion boutique with Rosalie, I didn't need to get ready as quickly or early as Jasper did, who had to be at school in time for an 8:00 class.

Before even flipping through five pages, I had drained the glass of orange juice. I pushed the magazine off my lap, and trotted into the kitchen, leaving my glass on the table. I brought out the carton of orange juice, filled my glass again, and set the carton beside it on the table.

Within a half hour, I had scribbled notes across a thick portion of pages in Vogue in sparkling magenta ink, and drank another full glass of juice. As I flicked over a few more pages, I heard the bedroom door open, and Jasper's footsteps traveling towards me. He appeared in the doorway of the living room, dressed in slacks, a white shirt, and a deep red tie. I glanced up at him and grinned, then followed his eyes to where they had fallen: the carton of orange juice.

"Alice… orange juice? I thought you hated that stuff."

I shrugged, leaned forward, and lifted the glass off the table. After taking a long sip, I licked my lips and spoke. "I don't know. I guess I was wrong about it. It's… fantastic."

Jazz chuckled, and came around the couch to me. He seated himself on to couch beside me, and tilted my head up, pressing his lips firmly to mine. As my head grew steadily lighter, and my breathing quickened, one of Jasper's hands removed the glass from my grasp as I head a slight thud as he set it on the table, his lips never leaving mine. After a few more moments of pure ecstasy, he pulled away softly, leaving a soft smile on both of our lips.

Keeping my face directly in front of his, he whispered, "I love you."

I grinned widely, and repeated his words. Silently we sat, holding a steady gaze between us, before he finally sighed and glanced at his watch.

"You have to go, don't you?"

"I'm sorry, love," he murmured.

I pecked his lips quickly and worked my way out of his grasp. "It's alright." I gave a smile. "I'll see you tonight, Jazz." He leaned over and kissed me once more before standing up, grabbing his briefcase, and slipping on his coat. He called out the words "I love you," over his shoulder once more before leaving the apartment.

I remained sitting for a moment, enjoying the tingling sensation that was dancing on my lips. Eventually I stood, stretched and, taking my glass and carton of orange juice with me, headed to the bathroom. I stripped off my pajamas, and blasted the shower. After I had showered, shaved my legs, styled my hair and applied my make-up, my entire readying process came to a screeching halt. Clothes. All of my decent clothes were at Bella and Edward's apartment. When I had quickly deserted Bella and Edward's, I hadn't bothered to gather up any of my belongings; they were currently stashed in my suitcase in the spare room in the apartment.

After looking through multiple drawers, I was able to piece together an outfit; not a decent one, but it was better than nothing. The jeans were out of style; their leg wasn't slim and tight, but wider at the bottom, and less than a perfect fit in the back. I had on a plain yellow v-neck t-shirt that I hadn't bothered to take with me when I had left. Knowing that I couldn't go to work like this, I called Bella, hoping that Edward would be gone by then, but that Bella was still at home. I wasn't ready to face Edward, and most likely his fury, just yet.

Bella POV

I woke up to my phone ringing and quickly sat up from my makeshift bed. I scrambled forward and leaned over the center consol of my car. Stretching forward, I was just barely able to nab my phone off the dashboard. I answered quickly, and did my best to not sound as awful as I felt.

"Hello?"

"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice asked. Well, there went my attempts on trying to fake wellness.

"Nothings wrong. Why would anything be wrong?" I lied fully, and thankfully she couldn't see my face; it was bright red.

"Oh… um, never mind. You just sounded… forget it. It's fine." I breathed a soft sigh of relief, thankful that Alice wasn't pushing the subject. "Anyway, I was hoping I could swing by and get my stuff. Is that alright?"

Damn. I had completely forgotten that Alice would need to pick up her belongings. I couldn't go back if Edward was still there, but I also knew that I reveal that bit of information to Alice. After a few seconds of stammering, I was able to get out a full response. "I… I, well- sure. Sure, just give me some time to get ready, ok? I look awful right now." This was partially true; I knew I must have looked terrible. Truthfully, I needed the time to get back to the apartment and fake normality. As Alice thanked me, I climbed into the front seat of the car, ignoring the pinching pain in my back; that's what I get for sleeping in the backseat of a car.

Alice hung up and I snapped the phone shut, starting up the car. I drove as quickly as possible, and reached the apartment's underground parking lot within 20 minutes; thankfully, Edward's car was no where in sight. He must have already headed to work. As I got out of the car and made my up towards the apartment, I felt like some sort of traitor, as if I didn't belong here at all. I suppose I didn't belong, or at least for now. I had left; I had made the decision to walk away and not look back, but here I was. At least Edward was gone; his being here would have made this any harder than it already was. My heart thundered in my chest as I got on the elevator. At any moment, I expected someone to grab me by the arm and send me away, saying "You left; you don't belong here anymore. Leave now." No one did. All the same, glimmers of nausea rushed over me as I slipped the key, which had remained in my pocket from last night, into the hole, and turned it. The door clicked, and I opened it slowly, half hoping to see Edward's tall figure inside. He wasn't there, of course, and no one knew that, as I shut the door behind me, I almost passed out. No one knew that tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as I stood, staring at the empty apartment. No one knew how stupid I felt for refusing, how angry I was that he had never realized what I wanted before. No one knew how much I wanted things to be different.

Slowly, I gained control of my rapid breath, and glanced at my watch. There wasn't time enough for me to pack any belongings and get them to my car before Alice came. I would have to live off of what I had for now; in the passenger seat of my Volvo, I had a small duffle bag that I had packed rapidly last night. I arrived home before Edward made it back, and had quickly shoved a few articles of clothing into the bag, before getting in my car, and leaving behind a life that I never wanted to let go of, and may never get back. As I slowly walked through the rooms, I realized that I must look like absolute crap; if nothing else did, my appearance would clue Alice in.

I hurried to the bathroom, and yanked a brush through my hair, and splashed my face with water, rubbing at my cheeks, erasing the tear stains. That lingered from the night before. After drying off my face, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My skin was pale, even more so than usual, and my eyes had a slight pink twinge to them. I just hoped that Alice would be so exuberant and happy to be back with Jasper that she wouldn't notice. Although I knew the odds that she would be so thrilled that she wouldn't notice were slim, it was all I could do. It would be near impossible to convince her that I was all right if she noticed anything.

As I promised myself to not shed a single tear in front of Alice, I heard the buzzer go off, and hurried to the door. I buzzed her in, and, in a few moments, opened the door to reveal a bouncing, grinning, and practically glowing, Alice. She embraced me tightly, and I faked a grin.

"Well, you look chipper this morning."

"Yup!" She grinned back, clearly not noticing the puffiness that resided in my eyes, the deep circles beneath them. "Thank you so much for letting me come by."

"Oh, yeah, of course. No problem." Another lie. I let my hair fall forward, creating a shield from Alice's gaze as my cheeks reddened slightly.

As Alice hurried to the spare room to gather her belongings, I made my way to the kitchen. "Alice," I called in her direction. "You want anything to eat?"

"What?" She hollered back.

"Do you want anything to eat?"

"I would love some orange juice."

I pulled a glass from the cabinet, set it on the counter, and opened the refrigerator. I felt, once again, like an intruder or thief as I took four eggs from the fridge, and pulled out the orange juice. What choice did I have though? I had to fake it well.

Quickly, I cracked open the eggs and beat them together, adding in a splash of milk and a pinch of garlic powder, along with a couple other seasonings. As I set a pan on one of the stove burners, Alice called out to me again. At first I couldn't tell what she was saying, and as I sliced butter and dropped it into the heated pan, she called louder.

"Alice, I have no idea what you're saying. If you want to talk, come in here!"

She walked into the kitchen slowly, and I didn't turn to look. Instead I continued to push the fast-cooking scrambled eggs around in the pan.

"Bella…" she said softly. I bit my lip and blushed; thankfully she saw neither of these reactions. "Bella, what happened?"

I cleared my throat nervously. "What are you talking about Alice?"

"All the drawers in the bedroom are pulled out. Why are some of your clothes gone? What happened?"

The plate I had been dishing eggs onto fell to the ground; with a large crack it shattered into pieces, sending pieces of egg and shards of ceramic material scattering across the floor.

Without turning to face Alice, without moving at all, I spoke. "Why were you in Edward's bedroom?"

"Edward's bedroom?" She noticed my choice of words instantly. "I was looking for one of my shoes, alright? Now what is going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing is going on, alright?" Embarrassment and anger were building inside of me; I squinted my eyes shut in an attempt to hold back my always-ready tears.

"Isabella Marie Sawn, you had better te-"

I spun around, and faced a stubborn and worried looking Alice. I could literally hear the blood pulsing through me, and as I stood, hands shaking, eyes tearing and burning, my head pounding, a wave of embarrassment and fury slammed into me. "JUST SHUT UP!" My voice cracked as I screamed, and Alice stepped back, clearly shocked.

"Bella…" Her voice was softer now, in an attempt to sooth me. "Bella, it will be ok. Whatever is going on here, it will all turn out-"

"NO!" Sobs came out fully now, and I let the tears flow, unabashed. My voice, louder than I wanted it, sounded foreign to my ears, I couldn't control my voice, my motions. "Don't say that it will all be ok, because it wont. What the hell am I supposed to do without him, Alice? He was… was my everything." My voice faltered and died, leaving both of us silent.

"He… He left you?" Alice finally asked. I looked away, and tore off two paper towels from the roll. I bunched them in my hand and knelt down. Silently I gathered up the bits of plate and egg, and dumped them in the trash, attempting to ignore Alice's steady gaze.

"Did he le-" she began to repeat her question, but stopped as finally, slowly, I shook my head. "What do you mean h-"

"I left. It was me. I'm not even supposed to be here right now." To defer her questioning for a matter of seconds, I handed Alice the orange juice. She took a long gulp before looking up at me.

"I don't get it, Bella. I thought you loved Edward. What happened?"

"I do love Edward." As I spoke, I made my way to the living room, and seated my self gingerly on the couch. It was strange, to be agonizing over the current turn in my life, sitting in this room, on this couch. The place where Edward and I had shared so many tender moments. His touch, his smell, his smile, pushed forward into my mind. "I just couldn't do it Alice. He didn't want me here anymore. Not just here, but anywhere. He is done with me. I made it easier for him by leaving."

"That's crazy, Bella. How could you possibly think that he doesn't still love you? That he hasn't always, and will always, love you?"

"Because he doesn't Alice! In all the time we have been together, he never thought once about marrying me. He never even considered marrying me. So, I want him to figure things out. I know what I want. It's his turn to decide where he wants to go in life, and if I am part of that. I know I'm not, so I made it easy and left."

"He really does love you, Bella. I know it. Everyone can see it except you! And- wait… if you left… where did you sleep last night?"

I had truly and sincerely hoped that my whereabouts would not come up. I blushed and averted my eyes as I spoke. "Well, I… I didn't have the strength to find a hotel… so I just… I just slept in the car."

"The car?? Oh my God, Bella?! Why? You should have just-" She stopped speaking instantly. We had both heard it: A key in the lock of the door. We both heard the door open, and the sound of footsteps drawing closer. And we both saw a shocked, confused and weary looking Edward enter the room.

Love it? I hope so! I know I do! Well, let me know what you think. Again, thanks so much for reading my story. I am starting on a new one, and I will hopefully have the first chapter up soon. It starts out pretty dramatic, but I promise you that it will be beautiful in the end. Have an awesome day. Peace!

xoxo