AN: Sorry for waiting so long...if anybody's still reading this... Please R&R!!!
Behind the Pretty Picture
Chapter 14: Farewell
So there is a thing that popped up in my mind when I exited Seto's mansion. I have some options and theories:
!) Seto doesn't love me. It's just his pride that was hurt, and his huge ego.
2) Maybe he does love me, but if we didn't get along in the past, what guarantees us that we would get along in the future? We're even now, he'd cheated on me, me as well, now we slept together. A nice farewell. Either way, I feel I can't take it. Not again....And God knows if he was telling me the truth back then. And God knows what's really in the background...And Alister, and all of that...
3) I could've killed both him and me on the spot. I think that it would the only way we could be really together. It would be fine with me, since I'm all alone. I don't count those two bitches. But my friends (oh, God, how I miss them!)...And Seto has his little brother, so it is impossible.
Now, what about Teru? I was thinking, while walking away through the gate of Seto's estate.
1) He's a yakuza. You never know with them. So is it possible that he only uses me for his own goals, like Seto said?
2) On the other hand, he did agree to marry me. If he really wanted only to use me and get rid of me afterwards, why would he accept my ring, and everything is already arranged for our discreet wedding...? Or maybe it's just a sweet lie of his, I presume? Either way, it's too confusing.
3)..there isn't an option three here. He can fuck me how much he wants, but I don't need his shit, his love, or hatred, and his yakuza business...Hirutani was enough, and I don't want to become a criminal again.
So, to sum up, I think that I should leave them both, and start a new life in another city or prefecture. I have some money, enough that I can invite all my friends to go with me on a nice one-week holiday and part with them, but this time without disappearing like now. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I know they're angry because the doctors of the psychiatric institution 'don't let them see me'. I'll redeem myself. I'll be with them, and then I'll leave. I'll start a new life like a healthy nintenteen years old boy. I'll finish my education. I'll get a job. I know it seems too enthusiastic, but if I try, if I try really hard, I'll do it. I know I will. I'll just think of ones dear to my heart...
As I think this way, I clench my fists in determination, looking at my former mansion. "You can keep this house, Seto. That's all what will be left of me." I whisper, tears falling down in streams. I love him. My love is so desperate that I find it hard to breathe. I'm reaching for the pieces of my life and heart that aren't there, and I fall to my knees, before this mansion, my stepfather's house, my former house, place where Teru rehabilitated me...Place where...
I realize now, that Teru was my friend and enemy, and I remember those bittersweet memories...Him coming with ingredients for a cake he wanted to bake for me...He was really trying to claim my heart...I still don't know...I'm confused. I don't know if it's because he really cared...I don't want to find out. No! No...I have to erase my life. I have to start all over again. And that's what I'm about to do. Exactly that.
And if I wasn't tired of love and hatred and any form of kindness, I'd bring Roland with me...If only he weren't loyal to Seto...Roland would give me away. So I'm going alone. It will be hard; life will be merciless...but I will endure. Or at least, I will try to endure.
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THE END