Chapter 14

In which you need a plan…

Two weeks later…

It was William's first day back at work since Liza had died and William was extremely nervous. He had spent the last weeks doing one thing, caring for Lily. He had worked her into a new routine, making it easier for her to go to sleep, wake up, and eat. It also made it easier for William to get some sleep. Julia had been helping when she could which also helped.

But now William was returning to work. William feared that he wouldn't perform as well as he used to because he would worry about Lily all day long. He also did not want the men at work to look at him differently and yet he knew they would. But he could not take their looks. If he was to live his life as normally as possible he would have to do without the pitying stares he would get from the other constables. Once again William found himself grateful for Julia. She was the only one who did not give him sad glances. In fact, she did the opposite. Julia brought nothing but smiles into his home. At night William mourned his wife, often weeping for his loss. But during the day William laughed and smiled. Some days he felt guilty for that. His wife was gone and there he was laughing and being happy. But at the same time there were days when he felt no guilt.

William stood in front of the constabulary and sighed. Today would be the hardest to deal with. After this everything would be easier. A small sound caught William's ear and he suddenly was pulled from his own worries. William quickly turned away from the constabulary and made his way to the morgue.

"Doctor?" He called, praying Julia was there.

"Detective?" Her voice called back and to William it was music to his ears. William rushed down the hallway, pausing before he entered her office. Taking a deep breath, he moved around the corner and found Julia smiling at him.

"It's good to have you back," Julia admitted placing a gentle hand on William's shoulder. "George is a good man, and he really tries, he does…but he's not quite Detective material." They both chuckled and William cleared his throat.

"Julia, could I ask a favour of you?" He asked hesitantly. Julia gave him a reassuring smile.

"Of course." William opened his mouth when a loud wail ripped through the air. Julia's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open slightly.

"William, she breathed "You didn't…" William gave her a quick apologetic look and rushed out of her office. Julia followed and when they came around the corner they were faced with a screaming Lily, who was quite unhappy to be left alone in her carriage. William swooped in and pulled her out of the stroller and held her close.

"You brought Lily with you?" Julia cried.

"I had no choice!" William defended.

"I thought you found a nanny?" Julia questioned. William blushed, embarrassment crossing over his features.

"I tried…" He replied meekly. Julia gave an exasperated sigh.

"I told you I could help you find one." She exclaimed. William stepped forward, almost encroaching on Julia's personal space.

"You have been so lovely to me Julia, and I am thankful for you. But I needed to do this on my own." William stated firmly.

"I understand that, but what are you going to do with Lily? You can't bring her to the station." William looked at his daughter for a moment and then back to Julia. Julia caught his look and her eyes widened.

"Oh no." She stated, taking a step back. William looked at her with pleading eyes as he bounced around with his daughter, whose tears were slowly dying down.

"Julia please…" He begged. Julia placed her hands firmly on her hips.

"Doesn't that defeat your argument Detective?" She questioned. William stayed silent. "Well?" Julia prompted, "Mister, 'I need to do this on my own.'?" She imitated. William frowned.

"Your logic is maddening." Julia smirked and William sighed, "But I need someone to look after her." Julia frowned back at William as he swayed with Lily, giving Julia a desperate glance. They stayed locked in a stare down before Julia sighed and reached out for Lily.

"Give her to me." William smiled brightly and handed his daughter over. Lily easily settled into Julia's embrace and Julia pointed finger at William.

"Consider yourself lucky that I was planning on only working half of the day." William gave a sigh of relief and grabbed her hand, squeezed it tenderly.

"Thank you." William breathed sincerely. Julia gave him a stern look.

"Just this once." She affirmed. William nodded before he ducked in close and gave Lily a quick kiss. He smiled once more at Julia before leaving the morgue. Julia sighed and looked at Lily.

"Your daddy can be so smart sometimes," Julia told her, "But then there are times he is utterly clueless."

William's day was not a hard as he thought it would be. The men had not given him pitying glances and the Inspector did not coddle William. He did not make William do hours of boring paperwork; instead he chose to give William a murder that had just happened that morning. Unfortunately, it meant that William had spent his whole day tracking down the victim's family. He made little headway all day until around four o'clock. Suddenly William had to follow the lead and it took him half way across Toronto. From there he was led two hours out of Toronto. He came upon his suspect, Thomas Walker. After dragging the man back to the station it was discovered that Walker had a solid alibi. William sat in his office pouring over the evidence when Brackenreid came in.

"Murdoch!" He barked. "What the blood hell are you still doing here?" William looked up at his superior, confused.

"I'm going over the evidence Sir…" Thomas rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Murdoch it's quarter past nine. You need to go home and spend time with your daughter." William's eyes widened and he almost dropped the magnifying glass he was holding. He suddenly remembered who his daughter was with.

"It's quarter past nine?" William stated. Julia would be so mad at him. He had told her he would pick Lily up at six o'clock.

"Yes it is. Now go home and be with your daughter." William nodded and shuffled all of the evidence into one neat pile before grabbing his jacket and bidding the Inspector goodnight.

William made his way across town through the cold night. He came to Julia's home on Linden Street. It was the only house on the entire block that still had lights lit. Very quietly, William climbed up the porch stairs and gently rapped his knuckles against the front door. Within moments the door opened to reveal a petite older woman. Julia had told him about her housekeeper, Mrs. Cullen. She glanced over him once and William suddenly felt uncomfortable.

"Mr. Murdoch?" She asked. William nodded. The woman shook her head, clucking as she motioned for him to follow of her. William stepped into the house and followed the woman until she came to a halt outside a large living room. William's eyes fell to the couch where he saw Julia lying on her back, snoring softly. And there, nestled in between her breasts was his daughter.

"The little dear screamed and screamed this evening."

"I forgot to tell her the baby's schedule." William admitted softly.

"I offered my help but Ms. Julia would have none of it, insisting on doing it all herself. Eventually the babe quieted down." The two stood silently, watching the pair on the couch.

"She'll make a wonderful mother one day," The elderly woman said quietly, "If only she can find a man who is willing to accept her for all that she is." The older woman eyed William as she spoke. William nodded slowly, once again feeling uncomfortable under the woman's gaze. He would have been lying if he said that he felt nothing for Julia. He certainly felt more than a professional colleague should feel. But his wife had just died, he wasn't meant to be feeling anything for any woman for quite some time. And yet his feelings for Julia were growing every day. They were growing at a rapid rate and it frightened William. So he did what he always did with uncomfortable emotions, he pushed them aside.

"I'm sure she will," William responded awkwardly. Silence fell once more and they went back to watching the pair on the couch.

"You need a plan." The woman stated. "Forgive my boldness." William turned to her, frowning. "I know that Ms. Julia made a promise to your wife but she is not a nanny. She has a job that she has worked very hard to attain." She emphasized.

"I have tried." He sighed. "But no nanny is willing to work for me. No one wants to work the long and unpredictable hours. Especially on a lower salary. And no nanny wants to work for a single father." The older woman nodded her head sympathetically.

"I am a housekeeper, not a nanny." Mrs. Cullen said after a moment, her eyes still on Julia and the baby. William looked at her confused.

"Pardon?" Mrs. Cullen sighed and took her eyes off of Julia.

"I will watch your daughter when you and Ms. Julia are at work. You don't have to pay me; Ms. Julia pays me very well." William stared at her, his mouth dropping before he could stop it.

"W-why?" William whispered. The housekeeper smiled softly.

"Ms. Julia often had your wife over. Liza was a truly wonderful woman. Always so very nice and kind. I would be glad to help anyway I can." William tried to think of the appropriate words to thank the woman. Mrs. Cullen raised a hand to stop him.

"I have only one request," She told him. William nodded.

"Anything."

"I request that one of you make it home to put the baby to bed. I don't care if it's you or Ms. Julia but one of you needs to be here. That way the baby knows she is loved." William nodded.

"Of course." He agreed. "Thank you so much." Mrs. Cullen waved her hand dismissively.

"Think nothing of it."

"But-" William protested.

"Mr. Murdoch." Mrs. Cullen sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder, cutting him off. "It is nothing. I simply am doing what my conscience demands. Now go in there and get your daughter. I'm sure you would like to go home and rest." William nodded and quietly moved into the room. He approached the couch and gingerly reached for Lily. But Julia's hands were firmly clasped around Lily's back and when William tried to pry his daughter away Julia increased her hold on the baby. He knew that if tugged any harder he would wake his daughter or worse, end up hurting her. Julia's breathing changed and her eyelids began to flutter.

"Wha-" She mumbled. "William?" She whispered groggily. William gave her a soft smile.

"Hello. I'm sorry that I am so late." William said. Julia's face crumpled in confusion.

"What time is it?" She asked. William swallowed nervously, expecting the anger that would follow with his answer.

"It is now nine thirty five." Julia's eyes widened and her eyes darted over to the clock on the mantle, confirming what William had said.

"Nine thirty five?" She gasped, quickly sitting up. For a moment she forgot that she was holding Lily and William reached out, letting a distressed yelp exit his throat. Julia immediately clutched Lily tight to prevent her from falling. Julia's tight grasp made the baby squirm and Lily let out a tiny squeak. Julia looked down and softly cooed at the baby.

"Oh hush," Julia whispered. "Please don't cry." William smiled and reached down, scooping Lily in his arms. Lily's whimpers died as soon as she was close to her father. Julia gave a sigh of relief and rubbed her temple.

"She refused to sleep earlier. I tried everything, from feeding to changing. I've never felt so clueless in my entire life. I spent hours fretting. What if she's sick? What if I've done something wrong? I've never been entrusted with watching her for so long." William gently seated himself next to Julia. He had never seen her like this, so unsure of herself. It was the first time since Liza had died that William had seen Julia vent her frustrations. It seemed like the past weeks had finally caught up with her. He could tell that this was only the tip of all her pent up stress.

"I forgot to tell you her schedule." William admitted lamely. "But I don't think it had anything to with that. She probably just missed me." Julia gave a terse chuckle and dropped her hand into her hand into palm.

"I just don't understand. She knows me. I've been there since-" Julia didn't even bother to finish the sentence, both of them knowing how much commitment Julia had made in Liza's absence. "I wanted you to know that I can take care of her if it's needed. I wanted you to know you can trust me with her." There were tears in her voice and William could tell that the afternoon had been very stressful for Julia. And not just because the baby had cried incessantly. He shifted Lily and placed a free hand on Julia's shoulder.

"There is no one I trust more to watch my daughter than you."

"Truly?" Julia asked, turning to face William. William squeezed Julia's shoulder reassuringly.

"Truly." Julia searched his eyes for a moment, confirming his words. She let out a soft cry of relief and her frame visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping. Her body swayed slightly and William could tell Julia was very close to leaning her head on his shoulder.

Sure enough she dropped her head to his shoulder, sighing contently.

"You have no idea how good that is to hear," Julia whispered. William felt himself leaning into Julia, his free arm wrapping around her waist keeping her firmly in place. William's eyes glanced down at the woman in his arms and he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss in her hair. He kept his lips there for a moment; just breathing in the scent of her. Julia gave a murmur of content and placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing it gently. William let out a tiny groan; it had been a while since a woman had touched him. Julia tilted her head up to look at him, flyaway auburn curls framing her face. William instantly moved, closing the gap between them until their lips touched…

William shot up from the couch just as Julia was leaning in his direction.

"I should…I should get Lily home." He muttered, attempting to get his heart rate under control. Disappointed flashed through Julia's eyes but William pretended not to see it. She quickly recovered and stood as well.

"Of course." She replied, "Let me show you out." Julia led William back to the hallway; neither of them noticing Mrs. Cullen quickly sneak into the kitchen. Once Lily was all bundled into her carriage, William departed. Julia closed the door and locked it. She leaned against it for a moment and gave a heavy sigh. She scrubbed a hand over her face and headed to the staircase. As she reached the base of the stairs, Mrs. Cullen appeared out of the kitchen.

"Retiring for the night Miss?" She asked.

"Yes Mrs. Cullen." Julia replied wearily.

"Would you like any help?" The older woman questioned.

"No thank you. You may retire for the night if you wish."

"Thank you Ms. Julia. Have a good sleep." Julia gave a soft smile to the woman.

"You as well. Goodnight." With that, Julia made her way upstairs. Mrs. Cullen watched as she disappeared into her room. The older woman sighed. She had silently watched the couple interacting from the hallway. It was obvious that Julia had feeling for the detective. But it was clear that she was wrestling with her emotions, not just for the detective but for the child as well. She wasn't his wife and she wasn't the baby's mother and yet here she was doing just what a mother would do; loving the child unconditionally and fretting over little things, like the child's lack of sleep. She was also playing the role of wife as well. There were times when Mrs. Cullen came down to the kitchen and found Julia cooking something she was planning to bring over to the Murdoch house. And more than once Julia had come home, exclaiming that the detective had the most disorganized house she had ever seen.

'It seems every time I straighten out that house he goes and makes everything dirty again!' She would say. Mrs. Cullen would just laugh. Julia was also an emotion rock for the detective, something Mrs. Cullen knew was a good quality in a wife. If only the detective could be a rock for Julia then she wouldn't have to be so composed all the time. The young woman could only take so much emotional stress before she snapped. It was unfair to Julia to have her act as wife and mother to William and his daughter without receiving any emotional reward.

'If only they would realize just how much of family they already are.' Mrs. Cullen thought sadly as she turned off all the house lights and headed to bed herself.