Chapter Fourteen: Forest Dreams
Bella's POV
Last chapter:
"Oh Bella! It's so nice to meet you", the lady gushed. I backtracked, wondering how the hell she knew my name.
"Eh... I don't..."
"It's ok. I'm a friend of Edward's", she said as if that explained my utter confusion.
I stared at her, wondering how on earth she knew about Edward. I thought I was the only who didn't know about him. He did tell me not to say anything and I didn't. I only presumed that was because he didnt' want anyone else to know. Then how the hell did this person know.
I knew this lady, of course. She was married to Mr Whitlock who was a constant volunteer at Fork's local shelter. They had moved to Forks a couple of years ago at around the same time that Doctor Cullen did.
"How do you know Edward?" I asked her, curiously. I had an odd feeling when she smiled at me. The thought I had earlier about Edward going to see other people at night as he did to me returned.
Did he?
I didn't know.
Edward wasn't human and he could spend his time doing whatever he wanted. I wasn't the only girl in the world. Before me, he must've had other things to do at night.
"I'm Alice Brandon", she announced happily, practically bouncing on the spot.
"I'm...Bella", I told her, realising that she already knew. I blushed in my embarrassment. She wrinkled her nose and plastered another big smile on her face.
"So...Edward?" I asked again, uneasily.
He had kissed me.
He told me he loved me.
My stomach twisted uncomfortably as those thoughts made their way back to my head. God, please don't tell me he visited other women at night.
"Oh relax!" I jumped as the woman waved her hand in the air dismissively, "I know Edward didn't tell you about me, so I'm going to."
Crap. He did. I wasn't the one.
"Are you...are you ok?" Alice took a step forward, studying my face. I suddenly felt nauseated. Did she know he wasn't human too? Did she believe him? Did he love her?
"Bella?"
My head snapped up when Jacob walked into the small library. I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his waist as I buried my face into his chest. I felt like a weight was suddenly thrusted on my shoulders and I couldn't carry it by myself.
I remembered the last night when he had left so suddenly, ripping himself away from me without an explanation. I didn't understand at all. I thought he'd return but he didn't. I'd spent most the night, standing by my stupid window in vain hope.
He didn't come back.
Would he be back tonight?
I suddenly felt very empty as I remember our last conversation yesterday. The way Edward was trying to avoid telling me straight that he didn't want to have sex with me.
What was this woman going to tell me now?
I looked up and realised that Jacob was talking to me.
"Are you ok? What happened?" he demanded. I sighed.
"I feel sick", I muttered. Alice looked between Jacob and I, her lip between her teeth.
"Bella?" she asked, her eyes skimming over Jacob's height. "May I talk with you please?"
"Bella?" Jacob looked at me expectantly.
"Can you...look around and see if you can find any of my biology material books?" I asked him. He nodded, not before suspiciously glancing at Alice. But nevertheless walked away and disappeared behind the bookshelves.
"I'm his...sort of sister", Alice spoke as soon as Jacob was out of sight. I was surprised.
"What do you mean...'sort of' sister?" I asked her in confusion.
"We're not blood related", she explained simply.
"Oh", I didn't know how to respond to that. So she wasn't just another woman that he visited apart from me.
"About yesterday", alice started again.
"Yesterday?" I repeated. I didn't remember seeing her yesterday.
"Yeah", she confirmed with a nod, "when Edward left. He told us he didn't exactly leave you on...good terms."
"Us?" I repeated again, "good terms? Wait, he told you?"
"Us as in...his family", Alice explained slowly. I felt like I was really going to faint now. I had no idea Edward had a family. He told me that there were others like him...I didn't really know what he was exactly yet though. I didn't expect him to be related to the locals.
"Would you like to sit down?" she asked. I nodded gratefully as she stirred me to a table with a chair pulled out. I sat down, taking in a deep breath. I honestly wasn't expecting this.
"Edward doesn't want to introduce you to the family but I think he should", the woman told me, "That's why I came to see you. If you ask him, he'll bring you though."
"Er..." I didn't know that I should be wanting to meet his family. I didn't know that he'd actually want me to.
"Why did...I mean, did Edward tell you why he left yesterday?" I asked, blushing in my embarrassment.
"It's part of who he is", she spoke softly. "To protect you."
I had no idea what I meant and was about to question her before she straightened up suddenly.
Jacob reappeared, carrying a couple of thick books in his hand.
"Got a couple of them", he told me, obviously ignoring Alice who was once against raking her eyes over him. It wasn't in a perverse manner as if she was checking him out, it was in a way as if she was trying to remember him from somewhere.
"Bring them to the counter", Alice chimed, once again in her cheerful tone. Jacob looked at me in a confused expression before following the pixie towards the front desk.
--
I didn't get to speak to Alice again. I didn't want to. I had been given too much information to deal with. I felt oddly depressed as Jacob drove me home. The ride was silent as I looked out of the window and was lost in my thoughts.
Edward.
Of course my mind was filled with Edward. It was filled with the hurt I was feeling when he left me so harshly last night. It was filled with the odd surprise I had just had with the Alice woman who was supposedly his 'sort of' sister.
Somehow I didn't mind knowing that the person I was falling for wasn't human. I did mind knowing that he had a 'sort of' sister that I didn't know about. My mind worked in stupid ways.
"Bella?"
I turned to Jake and sighed.
"What did that lady want?" he asked as we got out of the car. He carried my books as I opened the door to my house.
"What lady?" I asked, trying to feign innocence. It didn't work. He simply quirked an eyebrow at me.
"Ms Brandon", he prompted.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked. Before he could answer, I pushed him indoors and closed the door. "Let's go to my room. Hey it's Friday, got any plans?"
"When do I ever have any plans on Fridays?" Jacob laughed, following me up the stairs. I laughed with him, glad that the subject was changed.
"Aren't there normally parties or something?" I asked him.
"Not that I know of. Or was invited to", he shrugged, closing my bedroom door. "You're not exactly a party girl, why go to a party?"
"Better than being bored", I pointed out, collapsing on my bed with a sigh. He jumped on next to me and we faced each other.
"I'd rather stay in with you that go to a stupid party", Jacob said rolling his eyes, "All we'll get is guys trying to hit on you and skanks trying to grope me."
"Grope you?" I teased, "Pretty sure of yourself, aren't you Black?"
He gave me a sheepish look. "It's not like it hasn't happened before."
"Wait, what?" I straightened up immediately. "You've been to parties without me?"
"Don't be ridiculous", Jake dismissed my outrage with a wave of his hand, "when do I ever do things without you? I meant at school."
It was then that I realised what he was talking about. Unlike me, if Jacob wanted to, he could be hanging out with the popular students of Forks Highschool. Jacob had the looks, he had smart, he was funny and somehow he ended up with me. I had seen plenty of times when girls had thrown themselves at him. Yet it didn't bother me then because I knew that Jacob was too good to settle for mere busty bitchy blondes.
But what if he didn't?
There was nothing stopping Jacob from ditching me as a friend. He could really have a proper girlfriend rather than spend his time with me. I was just Bella Swan. I was just the girl who hung out with Jacob Black.
Another wave of depression threw itself upon as I suddenly realised that I was pushing Jacob away. While focusing on Edward and all the baggage that came with falling in love, I was pushing away my best friend. My Jacob.
"Hey, are you ok?" he asked, waving a hand in front of my face. Jacob sat up, placing a hand under my chin to make me face him.
"I'm sorry", I whispered brokenly. Edward had left me the night before, I couldn't have Jacob leaving me too. What was the matter with me? I had been ignoring my best friend. What kind of friend was I? Jacob would never ignore me like I did to him. He'd always be there. He always was. He still is.
"For what?" he asked, searching my eyes, trying to see what I was talking about.
"For...being distant", I murmured, breaking our gaze, "I'm sorry we don't talk like we used to anymore. You're still my best friend Jake, you have to know that."
"Of course I know that", he said laughing to lighten the mood, "you can be as distant as you like Bella, I'll be here to bring you back. It pisses me off when you ignore me though but I can take it."
I knew then that I couldn't take advantage of my friendship with Jacob. He was a human being and deserved more than I was giving him. I might be falling in love with Edward, but he wasn't here right now. Jacob was.
--
Edward's POV
I had hunted with Alice and Jasper for the rest of that night until dawn. They left, heading back to the house to get ready and to keep up their human acts. I hunted for a few more hours, making sure that I wasn't as thirsty as I was before.
I stayed in the camouflage of the forest after that, just walking around at a human speed. I was trying to clear my head and it wasn't working. All I could see was the horrified and hurt face of Bella as I ripped myself away from her and disappeared without a word.
I was truly a monster.
Would she be expecting me back to her tonight? Did she want me to return?
Whilst I wanted to ask these things to Alice, I didn't. I wanted to work this out on my own and the help of my sibling didn't matter. Jasper did calm me down of course, using his ability to control emotions; he made me feel more at ease with myself. The self loathing thing was getting old. And tiresome.
And yet I couldn't stop feeling guilty.
I had spent the rest of the day in the forest to no avail to stopping me from having torturous thoughts. All I could think about was the fact that I hurt Bella. Not physically, but emotionally. I saw the way her face crumpled and fell in hurt.
She's better off hurt emotionally than having my teeth sinking into her skin.
I pushed away that thought as I realised that the moon had come out to greet me once again. I didn't know what time it was but I was guessing a little after evening.
I ran back to the house, forcing myself to concentrate on the soft thuds my feet made on the forest floor. I was going to see Bella tonight. To apologise firstly. She didn't deserve to be left hanging like I had done to her. And secondly, to explain. To tell her everything after all.