Effie woke the next morning, having a taste of what Haymitch probably felt every morning. Part of her couldn't tell if it was the whiskey or the crying that made her head hurt. All she was certain of was that this game was over. She could go home in a few days. The Victor was crowned and District 12 had been so close. It hurt more. Effie was sure to be still and quiet as she sorted out her feelings. She could feel his breath hot against her shoulder. Some moment after he revealed he was trying to change she let her guard down and let him sneak his way back to being charming. Oh she hated herself for it. She couldn't get mad and stay mad at him.
She rubbed her eyes and came to terms with herself. Haymitch meant something to her, and she wasn't afraid to let him know that. After all he was still a struggling drunk, he got mean, and unreasonable. That would give him emotional artillery to use on her whenever he wanted. Her fingers twisted anxiously as she let her mind rage on.
"If you think any harder steam will come out of your ears." Haymitch said quietly, to which Effie pursed her lips.
Ass, she thought quickly and crossed her arms and shook her head. "Do you have to be so mean?"
"I'm mean because you would be the only person I know that never stops moving. I think you were still for maybe an hour in the dead of the night. You fidget like nervous child, Trinket." He rolled onto his back and threw an arm over his eyes.
"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she retorted and stared off at her sheer curtains. The morning light tinged pink by them.
"… No." He said shortly. She knew why, so why did she ask. The tributes were dead. As far as he knew, the new Victor was still in recovery. "You asked me to stay.. After the cannon…"
Effie stopped him, "Stop. " It was all she said and she said it sharply. It hurt to think about it.
Haymitch sighed and looked over at her, her hair was a mess and it was so entertaining to see. At least now he knew Effie was capable of not looking her best. "How you holding up, Eff?" He asked softly. The teasing was all harmless, a defense mechanism that they both hid behind often.
"I'm fine."
"Somehow I'm not convinced." Haymitch admitted lightly, trying to make an effort to be nice to her.
"What would you have me say then?" Effie scoffed, "Lie, pretend I'm okay? Pretend that this whole game hasn't been the worst year yet?" She sat up and ran her fingers through her tangled hair.
"The truth would be nice for once." He said gruffly.
"What part of me crying and acting the way I have been tells you that I am lying?" Effie turned toward him. What had she ever done to make him think this was all a show? "Why would I… pretend that I'm so upset?" The word fell from her lips with distain.
"Because I can't tell what real and what pretend with you." He fired back and pushed up from the pillows. If she was going to be this defensive he would find his way out before she managed to tell him to do it.
Effie stared at him strangely and after a while lowered her eyes. Speechless. She twisted a section of hair between her fingers. Pretending is what she was employed to do. Paid well to pretend everything about the games and the Capitol was right and what people needed. There was no room for real beyond the doors of her bedroom. Real would lose her the job. Real would get her in trouble. He knew that.
"Nothing to say…" He stood up and looked away from her. "So I'll say something then. I know you're new to your job here still. 3 years isn't enough time to be desensitized. It took me 10 years. Your first years you hid the pain and anger very well. I didn't know you were capable of these feelings until this year. Frankly, your behavior could have gotten you fired. We both know worse comes for employees who can't fulfill their contracts. This year was particularly hard, but it will never get easier. It only gets harder. I tried to help you by being nice and you meet me with defensiveness and hostility. So tough love is what you'll get now. Everyone expects a drunk spectacle from me, to continue being a half-assed mentor. You can't fall apart. District 12 already has a short stick to draw."
He stalked out of the room and shut the door behind him. Leaving Effie in a stunned silence that was briefly interrupted by the noisy chimes of her tablet. So began the funeral preparations and the newest Victor celebrations. Mentally she kept a countdown until she could leave. 2 days.