I forgot to put in a disclaimer last time so here it is for both chapters : I don't own ATLA!

Thanks to everyone's suggestions and I figured out what I wanted.

paperbackwriter9

--

My heart pounded as I woke up sweating. This was the third night this week I woke up in this state. It was about the Fire Lord. It's always about the Fire Lord. His threatening face over mine, my heart beat louder than my screaming. And then nothing. No pain, no yelling, no nothing. Then I'm awake, and everything is like it was when I had gone to sleep.

I still imagine, and feel Zuko above me too. Saving my life and helping me fill out my sentence. His body next to mine, his face in my hair. The memories that still lingered about him were still so powerful. It amazed me since I had only a few short days with him like that.

No, it was too much. Too many memories were crawling inside my mind. It felt as if the Fire Lord's was lingering around my skin.

It had been three, no four years since I saw Zuko. I heard news about him though, and that's what kept me hoping.

The biggest events in my life seemed too strike every year I grew.

--

When I came back home, the first thing I noticed was that nothing had changed. I easily adapted to the feeling of the cold around me, and the ice under my feet. That was the easy part.

The first person to see me was Sokka, who hugged me tightly of course. His wife came out shortly after and hugged me as well. Since when did Sokka attract a girl? I wondered and smiled politely at the stranger who was telling me she was happy I was back.

Later that day, I asked him where our father was. The answer was hard, but it was expected. Everything that could go wrong started to go wrong. Our father had died shortly after I was kidnapped. He had been in battle, and when he was trying to save his friends life, he gave his up instead. I cried, and Sokka hugged me until the sun went down.

Many mornings after, I would wake up and have the strangest feeling. At first I was calm, but then when everything came back. I expected to see Zuko, warm and breathing softly, asleep next to me. When I turned to see the ice wall, I was crushed.

All throughout my first week back, Sokka's wife tired to cheer me up. That was impossible. I didn't know her, and I didn't really want this stranger to talk to me like I knew her all along. Now, I realize, I was jealous of her. She was a blue eyed brown haired, traditional Water Tribe woman, without a trace of Fire Nation on her.

The both of them asked me questions all the time. Except my Gran Gran, she allowed me my space, and I was grateful. On the other hand, the two of them wanted to know everything. How did I get there? What happened? How did I survive? What was it like? I answered, scary, or yes, and sometimes, I don't want to talk about it. Finally they stopped pressing me when they saw that indeed, I didn't want to talk.

Two months after I got home, it was my seventeenth birthday. That meant that Zuko would be turning nineteen, and maybe at the age to marry. It was not a happy birthday, and I was feeling more alone than ever.

It seemed to me that my whole first year back, I missed Zuko. I couldn't help it, but I pictured him everywhere. I looked out at the ocean all the time, waiting to see if he would come.

--

One Year Later

--

Turning the age of eighteen, was not any better because Gran Gran died. I instantly regretted mopping around instead of talking to her and helping her. Then again, she let me mope and feel sorry for myself every day. We barely talked to each other, and I would never even look her in the eye.

She would make me feel so small when I did look at her. I felt like she could see through me, and see the real reason why I was sad.

I had been living with her since I got back, and now I was living with Sokka. So, to get my mind off everything, I found a job. I helped cure the sick, and was called upon by people to heal. It wasn't boring, but it was close to being pretty dull. I felt like I should be fighting in a battle, after everything that I could handle.

--

One Year Later

--

Today, I was nineteen, and tomorrow I would be turning twenty. Another birthday would pass, and another year would start again. I felt no different from the girl I had been at the age of sixteen. The feeling of being trapped was still around me, because I was.

I sighed and got out of bed. I decided that I was going to relax today, and take a boat out into the water. Now, I could just be by myself, and hope that people didn't need any healing.

"Katara?" Sokka yelled and I walked out into the snow and ice.

"What?" I stretched, and yawned loudly.

"As you know, you are turning the age of twenty. This is big, because this means you'll have to take more responsibility in helping around our home," Sokka said and I rolled my eyes.

"Thanks for the update Sokka, but I realize how old I'm turning," and I walked past him.

Sokka ran in front of me, "Katara, someone wants your hand in marriage." My mouth hang open and I stared at Sokka. "Don't say anything now, but just think about it, please?"

I knew that Sokka was worried about me. Due to my refusal of all his questions about my kidnapping, he probably thought the worse. He'd be right if it was about the rape, but he probably thought it was even more horrible. But, there was no way I was going to marry some stranger. "I don't think so," and I walked away again.

"Katara, you have to think about it. It could be good for you since I can't get you to smile anymore."

"So you think some guy is going to make me smile if my own brother can't?" I showed off a fake smile and Sokka stood there unconvinced.

"Listen, I just want you to have a life that's good. I thought that you taking up healing would help you, but it didn't," he said.

"Listen, it's my life, and I will marry who I want to. Don't you even dare bother to look for a husband either!" I walked away and I could hear him behind me. I started to run, and he must have turned around.

I ran to the edge of the village, and the edge before the ocean below me. It was a only six feet below me, and I sat at the edge to look down.

Zuko, Zuko why'd you tell me to go?

My reflection in the water rippled as the waves slowly crashed into the ice. What was wrong with me? I was back home where I belonged, and this is were I should be. So why did I feel so horrible after all this time?

Pulling my knees to my chest, I let out a frustrated sigh and felt tears. They never came out, but I felt them.

The water looked so refreshing, and I slowly started to peel off the top layer of my clothing. Backing up, I took a running leap into the cold water and dived down. It felt so good, like I was letting go of my worries. I swam back to the top and floated there in the waves. I had to get over myself, Zuko wasn't coming.

Zuko was probably already married to some rich noble girl. I was going to drive myself into the ice if I didn't stop dreaming for him. From now on, I thought, I was going to live life like I was never in the Fire Nation.

I crawled over to ice rising out of the ocean, and pulled myself out.

Goodbye Zuko…

--

We were eating a quiet dinner, Sokka, myself, and his wife. The only sounds were the chewing and sighs from Sokka. This was it, I had to start somewhere.

"Sokka?" He responded with a grunt and looked up. "Who is the man?" He looked over at his wife and she nodded.

"His name is Nobu, and he's just your age. Do you want to meet him?" Sokka's determination was present in his eyes and I nodded slowly. "Good," he said, "I think you'll like him."

It was obvious that the decision was done and that Sokka was in charge. Sokka smiled, and so did his wife, they both thought that they were doing what was best. I never said I was going to marry him, but meet him. I hoped I was doing the right thing.

--

A few nights after I told Sokka that I would meet this Nobu, I was getting dressed to meet him. I hoped that this wouldn't be a horrible disaster, and that I wouldn't long for Zuko even more.

Nobu arrived and the door to the hut, and Sokka yelled for me to come see him. He was tall, tan skinned, and a perfect example of a Water Tribe man. Of course he was handsome, and I had the thoughts to turn him down. Pretend you were never in the Fire Nation, I told myself and walked to greet him.

He smiled a large warm smile and introduced himself and I did back. He offered his arm and we walked outside to the banks along the water.

"How are you?" He asked and I groaned inside my mind.

"I'm fine, and you?" I hated small talk, mostly because I had to talk at all.

"Fine…how about your family?" What kind of a question was that? Didn't he just see them?

"They're good too," and I didn't ask about him. I was staring to think that this was a mistake.

It was a long time before he spoke again, and we were near the ocean. "Are you okay? I heard about what had happened to you and," I interrupted.

"I don't want to talk about my past," I said roughly.

"I just thought that you'd be over it and,"

"No- don't, I'm sorry but I should have never wanted to meet you," and I stomped off. I wasn't going to head home, and I kept walking down the edge of the village. Did he just want to meet me to see what happened to me? Why would someone bring that up the first time they met? I yelled out at the water, and I continuously kicked snow off the edge.

Zuko, I can't forget you, please Zuko…

--

I was twenty, and it had been a horrible birthday. Only a few months into being the new age of twenty, I wished I was just dead right now. I learned that the only man that I wanted was Zuko, and that would never happen. I was driving myself out of my mind. The worse part of it was, I couldn't stop wanting him.

What was wrong with me? I was scared of myself, and I knew that I was going insane. The ocean seemed to call out at me. It wanted me to jump in and never let me go. What a good idea.

I knew that I thought about death to much, and it was horrible. I could slowly see myself falling apart, and I couldn't stop it.

--

"I would never have believed it myself," I overheard Sokka talking to his wife. I held my breathe and listened closely to the conversation. "The war is slowly stopping, thanks to the Fire Lord."

What? Why would Fire Lord Ozai want to stop the war? I strained to hear what he was saying now. Just maybe there would be news of Zuko.

"That's good," his wife said, "then you wouldn't have to go into battle."

"I can't believe his son is so different," Sokka said. I burst into the small room and they both looked up at me. "What is it Katara?"

"What about the Fire Lord's son?" Sokka looked at me carefully and I waited, dying to know what was going on.

"He's the Fire Lord," and Sokka turned back to his wife. I put my hand on the wall, Zuko was Fire Lord? For how long? I yelled Sokka's name and he turned to me again.

"What's wrong?" He asked worried and I nodded my head.

"Since when was Zuko the Fire Lord?"

"A year and a half ago," and Sokka walked over to me. He put his hands on my shoulders. "Are you okay?" No, I wasn't okay, Zuko was the Fire Lord. He finally had more power than ever, and that meant power to marry. I closed my eyes and tears spilled out. "Katara, what's wrong?" My brother held me like I was ten years old, and I just cried.

Zuko…

"Sokka, I can't believe it," I whined.

"Katara, what's wrong with you?"

"Sokka, please! Tell me I'm going to be okay!" Zuko was slipping out of my grasp and I was finally understanding why he wasn't coming for me. Even though he had promised.

"He promised!" Sokka's wife was at my side, checking my forehead and Sokka was frantically searching for something cool for my head. If only they knew, if only they knew why I was so torn up inside.

Damn the Fire Nation! That hell stole everything from me! If only I had been somewhere else when they came. If only I had been younger, or older, maybe they wouldn't have taken me. If only Zuko had never told me he loved me.

Had loved me.

I was breaking down, and I slowly sunk to the cold floor, with tears coming down my face. I hated myself. Why couldn't I be strong and learn to get over him? Why couldn't I be like a normal Water Tribe woman? I looked up at Sokka's wife, who was beautiful and kind, and lucky.

It was no fair.

Sokka came back with water and some ice that was wrapped up in a towel. "Make her drink this," and he put the towel over my forehead. His wife tried to force the water down my throat and I kept refusing, making the water splash onto my clothes. "Katara, please drink it, please calm down."

Then everything happened so fast, the door opened and Sokka was backing away from me along with his wife. I turned to look up at Nobu, or whoever it was from the tribe. They probably heard my frantic screams and desperate crying.

"Katara?"

My body froze and unknowingly, I froze the water on my clothes. "Zuko," I breathed. Sure enough, Zuko was standing right there, and he was just as handsome as before, maybe even more stunning.

Sokka and his wife backed away into the back wall of the house. His wife instantly dropped to the floor and Sokka somehow collected some bravery and stood in front of me. "You can't take her away again, you and your nation have tortured her enough," and I didn't look away from Zuko's face.

He was here! Standing in my poor shabby home, and he was right here! I felt so relieved I couldn't even say anything.

"Sokka!" His wife hissed out in fear, "Don't make him upset, he is the Fire Lord!" And she looked up at him cowardly.

"Don't worry, I not going to hurt anyone, I just need to talk to Katara," and Sokka stood his ground. The thought of Sokka making my choices, and not being able to talk to Zuko, woke m e up.

"Sokka, it's alright, he just wants to talk to me," I said softly.

"I'm sure he's here only to kidnap you again," he said but looked at Zuko.

"You must be…"

"Her brother," Sokka said and Zuko looked calmly at him.

"I promise, I wouldn't think of kidnapping her, you have the promise of the Fire Lord," and Zuko stared at Sokka. Sokka nodded and I stood up and followed Zuko out of the hut.

"I," I started to speak but Zuko shook his head,

"Not here," and we walked away from my house, to the ocean. It was a silent walk, and I still couldn't believe that Zuko was standing right in front of me. Right here in the Water Nation!

"Katara, are you alright?" He asked worried and I looked confused. "Back at your home, you were crying."

"Oh," I said, and I shook my head. It would be embarrassing to tell him it was because of him. "It's nothing, I'm fine."

"Katara, please, I'm finally here, tell me," and he looked at me with his gold eyes. My stomach did a flip and I nodded alright, why did he have to be so good looking?

"It was because of you, I heard that your were the Fire Lord now and…I thought a lot of different things," I paused.

"Like what?" Zuko pressed and grabbed my arm.

"Like how you might be married," and I heard him sigh.

"Katara, I'm not," and he pulled me close to him so my back was against his chest. "I finally came for you, like I promised I would. Did you have any doubts I wasn't going to?"

I almost laughed, almost, "You have no idea, my whole life has been a mess waiting for you." There was a silence, but a comfortable silence. "Why are you here so suddenly?"

"It took me awhile, but I finally managed to escape my duty of being Fire Lord," and he kissed the top of my head.

"Since when have you been Fire Lord?"

"Since I destroyed my father," he whispered out and I turned to look at him. His face held shame, but it was also more relaxed since I had seen him. "I didn't want to, really, but I just… I did anyway, and it's over with." Zuko looked at me and sighed, "Katara, my father asked about you when you left a few weeks after I let you go. I told him that I gave you to someone else and he actually laughed and said that you'd be passed along before you where going to perish there."

I felt a horrible rush of fear when I thought about. Zuko sighed, "At least, he forgot about you, and I didn't get in trouble." Zuko shivered, "How do you live here? It's so cold," and a small smile crept over his face. This was a mood I'd never seen in him before, he talked and joked, at the same time. Maybe being free of his father, made Zuko finally return to being a happy young man.

There was a question that hadn't been said, and I was waiting for him to ask it. "Zuko, I've missed you, so much," and he pulled me close to hug me.

"I've missed you too, Katara, more than you'd believe." There was another long pause and silence was the only thing around us. "Katara, I had promised you those years ago, that I would come and get you. Now it's up to you, if you want to come back with me."

It was harder than I thought, "I'll be locked up in your room again?"

"No, never again," and he smiled.

"The people will think that your betraying them," and I stared up at him. He still had his shaggy hair and his deep red scar across his eye.

"Things are more different then you'd believe. The people that I work with are people that want what's good for the nation, and the war…I can't stop it all at once. But I'm really working on it; I promise you Katara, things are different. When my father ruled, everyone had to do what my father said, now I'm open to other people's ideas, and it made people's moods change."

I tried to believe his words, and I focused on the ocean. If I said no, I would be stuck here, feeling lonelier then ever. If I went, I would have Zuko, but not my home and only family... and cold surrondings.

I thought that the choice was going to me so easy, just a snap decision that would suit me perfectly. Now I had that choice, and Zuko had finally come, unexpected, but he had come. He came just when I was about to explode in depression, or fear, or anything that I worked into my brain.

Now what would happen?

I knew I couldn't live in two opposite places. This choice was mine, and I would have to explain everything to my family no matter which one I would choose.

It was up to me, and me alone.

Zuko looked down at me and smiled a small smile, "Katara, if you want to come, I'd be happy to take you, I love you, that hasn't changed. And I promise you that everything is much safer there. But if you want to stay, I'll let you go."

"Zuko…"

He barely smiled, "Whatever you want, will make me happy too."

--

Yeah, done with this chapter! Okay, so I didn't skip to the future that much, but I did get on track with my story! Now I'm happy!

But for next time...

Will Katara STAY or GO?

Don't worry, I'll update! xD