6

Chapter Fourteen

Ziva sat beside the bed and tentatively reached out to hold Tim's wrist, he didn't pull away and she gestured to Gibbs and Tony to come closer. "McGee, we understand…no, that is not true, how can we understand what you went through? We were wrong, in every possible way we misjudged you and what was happening to you."

"I tried…tell you…believed him...not me, why?"

There it was, before they even had chance to offer any mitigation, there was the $64,000 question. Gibbs took a couple of steps closer to the bed. "Simple answer Tim, we screwed up. We did just about everything wrong; made assumptions, didn't check the evidence, I didn't listen to my gut…everything we know not to do on a case…"

"I'm not…a case…I…I thought…your team, thought I was…part of it."

"You are, but God knows I can see why you would think different. I'm not much for long speeches Tim, you know that, but I'm prepared to talk all night if I can make you understand how much I regret what we did."

Tim glanced up at Gibbs, then at the monitors and the IV. "Without all this…the hospital…would you have believed…? Always believe Tony, Ziva…put your career…on the line for them…for me…nothing Gibbs…" Tim shook his head a little as if to clear his mind. "No, not true…steak…good steak too…you did help then…what changed?"

It took Gibbs just a second to work out what Tim was saying, the weekend they'd all gone to check on him, take him food, because they were concerned for his wellbeing. Tim had the right to an answer, when had that concern for a team-mate, a friend, turned into dangerous uncertainty and inaction? "I wish I had all the answers Tim, heck, I wish I had some…I…we, had too much work, too little sleep. We kept going back to your concussion, and we took everything at face value, I'll never forgive myself for that. I should have talked with you, not dismissed everything you told me. But, there was so much that was…off."

"The phone…"

"Yeah, that was one thing. I know I can get away without much sleep, but calls at that time, you were babbling away about me being okay, and I hadn't called Tim, I thought you'd had a bad dream and imagined everything."

"Abby told me."

"She tell you how mad she was when she heard what we did?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Tim's face. "She did…in detail…"

Ziva squeezed his arm gently. "She was right McGee; everything she said was well deserved. We have let you down so badly. I have asked myself over and over, how we could listen to Dorneget, why did we take his word when you were right in front of us, you who does not lie…"

"So tell me…I want to know…" He started to cough, and once he had started he couldn't seem to stop. He tried to reach out for the beaker beside his bed, but Ziva beat him to it, she held the straw to Tim's lips, he took a few sips and the coughing subsided, "Thanks." He leaned back against his pillows and turned his gaze on Tony. "You're pretty quiet…no movie quote…for this?"

"Not a one…what I have to say, it's all my own words Tim. I'm begging you; don't let what we did break up the team. We can make this right, you tell us what we have to do and we'll do it, right Boss?"

"Right Tony. We're already making changes Tim, Leon is putting new rulings in place about the number of hours we can work without a proper rest, and I don't mean snoozing at your desk. We almost lost you because we were driving on empty…I told you, I said you weren't at the top of your game, but it wasn't you Tim, it was us, we took our eye off the ball and left you without backup. That shames me Tim, more than I can ever say; we're supposed to have each others' backs all the time, not just out in the field…"

"Didn't seem to me you were…watching my back…Dorneget…he just had to sow a few seeds…and you were willing to…leave me hanging…weeks of watching you waiting…for my next…mistake…only they weren't mistakes…"

His voice almost gave out and he reached again for a drink; this time it was Tony who came to his assistance. "I got it Tim, take it steady."

"I hate this…feeling so…helpless…Abby said he's still out there and…Franklin…never knew he had a brother." Tim ran out of breath again, every time he tried to talk, it was taking a lot out of him; he wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer.

"Neither did we, we'll get them Tim." Tony set the beaker down and waited for Tim's breathing to settle. "You know there's a guard on your room, and we won't stop 'til we catch him."

"Except for sleep…you have to rest…"

"We will Tim, I promise. And here's another promise, we're going to get them, and they're both going to jail for a very long time."

Tim leaned against his pillows and closed his eyes; he was so tired, maybe Ducky had been right, he should have waited before he talked with them. Only he couldn't wait, he had to try and understand, make sense of everything that had happened, help him figure out why he'd lost a week of his life to pain and fevered images of confrontation and despair. He opened his eyes to find them all standing, their faces filled with…what was it? Guilt, sorrow, worry…he couldn't tell; once upon a time, before Dorneget, he could rely on them, least he thought he could. "Was I wrong?"

"McGee, we thought you were sleeping, did you say something?" Ziva touched his arm lightly, but this time he did pull away.

"All the years we're been…together, did you…all of you, did you…ever really trust me? I have…to know, was I wrong to …trust you?"

For a few heartbeats none of them spoke, the raw pain behind Tim's question demanded they thought deeply about their answer. Ziva regained her composure first. "McGee, I have tried, all the days since I let you walk out of the Director's office, I have tried to understand why I did not call you back…I cannot explain even to myself, except to say that I was unbelievably foolish. To doubt you, who has been my stalwart friend through so much; you risked your life for me, a debt I can never repay…yet I sat there and let you go…" She faltered under Tim's piercing gaze and Gibbs continued.

"We all sat back Ziva. Tim, we've talked about this, the three of us, Ducky too, he feels like he let you down because he let us all work when we were exhausted."

Tim shook his head. "Not Ducky's fault…we've worked long…hours before."

"I know, but maybe not so many big cases, so close together, it was relentless Tim, I don't have to tell you. I'm not using that as an excuse, what we did is inexcusable, you're right, we should never have taken the word of a virtual stranger over yours; we know each other so well we almost finish each others' thoughts, and still we cast you adrift. I don't say sorry Tim, always seemed to me it was a wasted word, better not to do something you have to apologise for, but this…what we put you through, for that I am more sorry than I can say."

Tim closed his eyes again, he didn't want them to see how close he was to breaking down, maybe he shouldn't be doing this, it was too soon, too raw. Gibbs leaned closer to the bed.

"Tim, do you want us to leave?"

"Maybe…can't seem to stay…awake…just had to see you…find out why…why I saw such doubt in your eyes…you hurt me…"

"Don't Tim, please." Tim's words had cut through Tony like a knife. "We broke so many of Gibbs' rules, I don't even want to think about it…this isn't the time, you need to get well. Heck Tim, I was stupid, blind and stupid. I just want to go back to the beginning and do it all over."

"Not sure it would…make a difference, seems you all….made up your minds…pretty fast."

"Too fast Tim, we looked at things from totally the wrong angle…we can't go back, but we can move forward, you have to believe us, we're going to do everything we can to make things right between us."

"I want to…Tony, I really want…to believe you…guess doubt is…contagious…maybe tomorrow, we can talk…some more."

"Anything you want Tim, I meant what I said, and I know Ziva and Gibbs will be here too."

"Okay…" Tim let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, physically and emotionally spent, he let himself fall into a deep sleep.

Gibb took a deep breath; they'd got through it without Tim telling them to go to hell, sure they still had a long way to go, but this first step had been the one they had all been dreading, and it was done. He smiled as Ziva planted a quick kiss on Tim's forehead and Tony gave Tim's shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Tomorrow Tim, I promise."

Gibbs lingered a moment and laid his hand on Tim's arm. "We're going to make this right, rest now, you've earned it."

NCIS NCIS

They had been true to their word and had returned the next day. No sooner had they walked into Tim's room than they ran into Penny Langston in full flow, she left them in no doubt that in her opinion Timothy should walk away from NCIS because they clearly didn't appreciate what they had.

Tim had expected this kind of reaction from his grandmother, and he'd hesitated about telling her the full story of what had led to him being in the hospital. He'd told his parents the night before and his dad had taken the more pragmatic view that sometimes in high pressure situations, commanders made inappropriate decisions that led to people being hurt. Tim wasn't quite ready to see himself as collateral damage, but he figured his dad had a point. Andrew and Theresa McGee had taken the early morning flight to San Diego, a US Navy Admiral had many calls on his time, and now that Tim was on the mend, and they'd elicited a promise from him that he'd fly out to visit them the minute he was well enough, they felt able to leave him in Penny's more than capable hands.

For her part Penny had left Gibbs and the others in no doubt as to where the blame lay for her grandson's current situation.

"I am well aware that you did not cause any of Timothy's physical injuries, but what you did to him, the neglect, the lack of trust…does loyalty mean nothing to you people? No matter, my grandson has a kinder heart than I, and he's willing to give you a second chance. I suggest you grab it with both hands, and do not screw this up Agent Gibbs."

"Don't you worry, we know how lucky we are to get this opportunity, we're going to do things right this time."

They had talked again, and things were starting to be a little easier between them, Tim knew a couple of conversations weren't going to make everything right, things had gone way too far for that, so he had a question for them, and their answers would show him just how serious they were about making amends.

"I…I'm seeing someone, at the hospital, a therapist…she's good, we talk about…everything, not just the Dorneget stuff…how I feel about you…she…she thinks maybe it would be good if we all talked together, with her."

"Group therapy?" Tony was taken aback; this was something he hadn't expected. That said, he was totally prepared to go ahead with it, anything to help Tim understand they really meant what they said, but he knew Gibbs would never agree, he hated the idea of people prying into his private thoughts...only Gibbs was looking intently at Tim, and it looked like he was seriously considering the idea.

"You really think this will help Tim, all of us together?"

"I do Boss…Doctor Sharma would like Abby and Ducky there too, could you at least try it, just one time?"

"Tim, we made you a promise, and I keep my promises. Tony, Ziva?"

"Of course, how could I refuse?" Ziva would walk over hot coals to have the team together again; talking with a total stranger about the mistakes that had led them here was a small price to pay.

Tony nodded vigorously. "Absolutely no problema Tim, count me in!"

Tim was sitting in his room, actually sitting in a chair and relishing the way the world looked from this new angle. After his second conversation with the team yesterday, and their unexpected agreement to meet with Doctor Sharma, he decided to strike while the iron was hot, and they had a session arranged for this afternoon. Tim looked up at the clock, he had time for a short nap, his physical therapy had been tough, and he didn't want to fall asleep during the group session, he wasn't about to get back into bed, way too many hours had been spent there already, so he settled back in the chair and closed his eyes.

Tim wasn't sure how long he'd been sleeping, but he became aware that he wasn't alone, had he slept so long the team was already here? He came to slowly, the meds made him drowsy most of the time, and when he slept it was always tough to wake up fully. He tried opening his eyes, the light was always dazzling, and he took a few seconds to focus. A slow realisation crept over him, this was wrong…why wasn't anyone talking? He finally focussed on the two men who were standing in front of the closed door, and his world turned upside down.

"Dorneget…what…how did you get in here, where's Owen? What have you done to him?" Tim struggled to get out of his chair; he couldn't just sit here…

"Stay right where you are."

"You…"

George Franklin took a step closer to Tim. "Wasn't sure you'd recognise me; you're a hard man to kill Agent McGee, but I've never backed away from a challenge."

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