Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer and only Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

Another long one… I know I upset a lot of people with the last chapter… but… *shrug*. Thanks for the reviews a lot of them made me smile. Another *HUGE* shot out to my absolutely AMAZING beta. CC, I effing love you!

CH 14

Two Steps Back Four The Eff Forward

I woke the next morning with a splitting headache, unable find the strength to get myself out of bed to retrieve any pain relievers. I was frozen, afraid to move, afraid I might wake him and we would have to talk about things soberly.

Last night had been one of the worst nights of my life. I did the worst thing I could have done and I despised myself more than ever before.

I was a terrible person. I had gone lower than low. There was no one to blame but myself and my goddamn weakness for Jacob Black.

It was a mistake; that I was sure of. A mistake that I couldn't take back and would have to face the consequences for.

Edward would never speak to me again. He would hate me and for good reason. I had broken his heart… I had broken all the promises and killed all hopes for our future.

Fucking bitch. You never deserved him, I screamed in my head.

If nothing else, I knew without a doubt that I had to be honest with him. I couldn't keep it a secret. First I had to tell Jacob we were definitely over and make him understand it this time. Even in knowing that Edward might no longer want to be with someone like me, someone so absolutely weak they couldn't stop themselves from doing something so terrible, regardless of what he might decide, I knew I no longer belonged with Jacob.

Part of me believed he had to have realized it himself last night as well.

When I'd started crying hysterically in the middle of it, abruptly ending the mistake in progress, something told me he'd gotten the message loud and clear. All I could do was lay in bed staring at the wall in a fetal position for what felt like hours, listening to Jacob's breathing and trying to muffle my own fresh cries.

Around nine forty-five, I was finally able to compose myself long enough to roll off the edge of the bed to get dressed in the corner of the room. I needed to get some air, to get away from it all. The walls were suffocating me and my breathing was quickly becoming more and more erratic.

While washing my face in the bathroom I contemplated on going down to the coffee house but knew that I'd get twenty questions from Mike so I decided it'd be better to go sit on the roof for awhile instead. I didn't care that it would be freezing, it was my quiet spot, the place I always ran to when I needed to be isolated from the rest of the world.

Another routine.

I was feeling too numb to even notice the severe temperature drop in the city anyways.

Snow was definitely coming and normally that would excite me, but not today. Today was the absolute worst day of my entire life. Jumping off the side of the building right now seemed like a better option than facing reality.

As I sat on the ledge of one of the vents swinging my legs back and forth while the freezing air swirled around me, fresh tears took over my eyes. I was right to have come up here because as soon as I was alone with my thoughts I crumbled to goddamn pieces all over again.

What had I done?

Why did I let it happen?

What was I going to do now? How could I have let him get to me?

I knew what I felt for Edward. I was in love with him for Christ sakes.

I had an easy out with Jacob but had to go and make things complicated… Why had it been so easy to let myself fall back in?

I had known I wasn't over him, not completely, but I also knew what I wanted for my future and it didn't include him. Not anymore. I'd realized that the moment he'd gotten on top of me last night and his touch began feeling more like sandpaper on my body.

Jacob had broken me and Edward had put me back together. He had managed to fix me in less than a week, and I'd managed to fuck all that up in one impulsive moment.

I was the scum of the earth. An evil, wicked thing who deserved nothing but to die alone with a hundred goddamn cats which would probably eat my face after I'd passed on to my after life.

As terrifying as the thought was, I knew I needed to call him. I wouldn't be able to calm down until I'd heard his voice.

Where's my phone? I reached into my pocket and suddenly panicked when I realized it wasn't there. I could have sworn I'd picked it up.

"Oh, crap," I muttered, remembering I'd placed it on the sink while I'd washed my face in the bathroom.

I jumped up and turned around to bolt back down the stairs from the roof top when I almost ran smack into Jacobs solid chest. I hadn't heard the door open and instantly wondered how long he'd been standing there, watching me sob into my hands. That's when I noticed he was clutching something in his own hand with a heart broken expression on his face.

Shit. My phone.

"We should talk," I choked out, already knowing what he must have seen.

"You got a text," he said with a sneer and handed me my phone, never blinking, his eyes remaining locked on mine.

I could feel my heart crumble into a million pieces as I looked down at the screen where the text was already showing.

It's killing me to be away from you. I hope you're ok… I hope we're ok. You didn't text me last night when you got to Alice's… I need to see you today or I think I might loose my mind. Please just call me so I know you're alright. I need to hear your voice. I miss you baby. -E

A gut wrenching cry escaped me nearly knocking me off my feet. Not because Jake had seen it, but because of Edward's heartfelt text and the betrayal I had done to him just a few hours ago.

"Jacob. I… I was going to tell you. I was, I never thought," I cried looking up to see him already walking away.

"Save it, Bella," he said from over his shoulder, disappearing through the door, finally bringing me to my knees on the roof just as fresh snow flakes started to fall from the sky.

I must have sat on the roof for at least an hour before I was finally able to stand up again. When I was able to stand on my two feet I slowly made my way down the stairs and back into the apartment, unable to feel my legs moving beneath me but thankful they were somehow working. I wiped my eyes, surprised I still had any tears left in me. My outsides now felt about as frozen as my heart did.

I knew better than to expect him to be there. Jacob was always good at running when things got off-course.

I wasn't sure what to do first, my head was everywhere and I could barely make out up from down now as my mind raced to figure out what to do next. I thought about calling Alice but I didn't need her telling me, "I told you so" even if she would apologize immediately after and take it back. I thought about calling Edward but I really didn't want him to see or hear me this upset and truth be told, I wasn't ready to face him, not anymore. Not after reading that text.

What would I say to him? What would he say when I told him? He would never forgive me. There was no way I could expect him to understand, even though I'd stopped it with my uncontrollable tears before things actually… concluded. Either way, I had still let things go to far.

I saw only one option. I changed back into my pajamas with the idea of burying myself under the comforter on the couch with a box of chocolate chip cookies.

On my way to the cabinet to retrieve the cookies, I noticed a note taped to the fridge. My hands were already shaking as they reached out to take it down slowly while another whimper left my lips.

Bella,

I don't blame you… I brought this on myself and I only hate myself for that. I never deserved someone like you so it was only a matter of time before you also figured that out… I guess we have a lot to figure out but I'll give you some space, mostly to give myself some time to process what this means.

I'm sorry I was so stupid.

I hope we can still be friends, if you really have given up on me… on us.

Love always, Jacob.

I slowly wiped the renewed tears from my already swollen eyes with both of my hands balled up tightly. Without thinking twice I decided I needed to take a detour on my way to the cookie box, quickly getting a shot glass down from the cabinet. I knew the only way to make myself feel better now was to make myself feel nothing again.

I was convinced that it was the alcohol that had let this happen so it would be alcohol that would help me forget. Even if it would only be for a few hours, I needed to break free from these feelings of worthlessness and I unfortunately knew no other way to make them go away.

I'm not sure how many shots I'd taken when my phone buzzed but I knew it was quite a few because I was now struggling to read the screen.

"He-hello?" I mumbled after fumbling for the right button.

"Bella? Shit, are you ok? What's wrong?" Edward's concerned voice asked on the other end.

"I'm uh, drunk I guess?" I replied with a small hiccup then couldn't help but giggle. I was definitely feeling numb.

Mission accomplished slut.

"Jesus baby. It's only one thirty in the afternoon. What are you thinking? What happened?" he sounded panicked and it only made me feel worst.

"He saw your text before I could talk to him. It was my own fault. I had the opportunity but then… I messed up, Edward. He said all the right things. I fucked up so bad," I cried softly.

He stopped me before I went any further. "I don't need to know about that, Bella. Not right now. I just want to know that you're going to be okay," he said calmly but I could hear the heartbreak in his voice.

"I left my phone when I went up to the roof to think, to just get away from everything. He found it and brought it up to me to show me your text and then he left me up there. The snow was pretty so I stayed up there and I guess it all turned into icicles-- no ice cubes. They were turning into little ice cubes on my face," I said, feeling silly from the amount of alcohol I had downed.

I was sure he only understood half of what I was saying between my bi-polar like sobs. One second I was laughing and the next I was being torn apart by my guilt.

"Fuck. This is all my fault. I am so, so sorry Bella," he said lowly.

"No, no, no. My fault. Dammit, I wish you people would stop trying to take my fault from me," I all but screamed.

"Is he there?' Edward asked, interrupting my rant again.

"Nope, he left. Said he'd give me some space," I replied while pouring another drink into the bedazzled shot glass Jacob had bought me for my twenty-first birthday.

"I don't need any space, though. I need him to get the fuck out of my life."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Put the bottle away Bella," he told me firmly just before ending the call.

"Bella. Bella, wake up," I heard someone whispering in my ear.

"Edward? You came," I squealed and threw my arms around his neck, "Did I fall asleep?"

"More like passed out. How much have you had to drink?" he asked smoothing my hair back gently out of my face.

"I don't know. It was a new bottle," I told him pointing to a more than half-empty bottle of vodka a few feet away from us on the coffee table.

"I'm so, sorry baby. You don't deserve to be hurting like this," he sighed.

I shook my head, trying to clear my still intoxicated mind in order to come up with the right words.

"Yes I do, Edward," I told him firmly. "This is my fault. You cannot take the fault from me. It's my fault I let myself fall in love with you; you were just supposed to be some rebound fling. But no, you had to be all perfect. You had to have an amazing daughter and you had to have those eyes that make me forget who I am. That smile that makes me want to be a better Bella for you…I couldn't help it, and then,"

I stopped short realizing too late what I had just said aloud.

"Crap. Busted," I whispered more to myself than him, looking down and feeling my cheeks turn blood red.

"Let's get you to bed. You're going to hate life after you've sobered up," he said pretending as if he hadn't heard a thing. I couldn't help but smile a little at his reaction.

"That way," I mumbled while he lifted me up from the couch to carry me into the bedroom. It seemed as if it took us forever to get there but I didn't mind because being carried in his arms was the safest I had felt in hours. He smiled down at me as he gently laid me onto the bed then pulled the covers up over my body to tuck me in.

"Come cuddle with me," I begged him with an reckless smirk.

I knew the best medicine from this heartache would be to lie under the covers in his arms, to feel his breath on my face and have his hands on my body one last time before I told him just how despicable of a human being I was. I couldn't help but be selfish. Plus, I was suddenly feeling very confident in my drunken state and it was allowing me to say just about anything.

"As much as I'd love to Care Bear, I don't think that would be such a good idea. I'd hate for you to regret it later or worse, hate me for it. It won't count if you don't remember any of it when you wake up," he told me with a sweet grin while stroking my arm with the back of his hand.

"I said I wanted to cuddle Edward, not fuck. Geez," I mumbled as my hand reached out to get lost in his hair. He laughed and told me he had bigger plans for us than that, earning a loud sigh from me.

I couldn't help but fear that that might not be true once I told him about everything that had happened last night.

"I could never hate you… or ever forget. I won't ever forget any of the moments we've shared, not ever," I added, frowning to myself as my eyes fought me to close.

That was the last thing I remembered before passing out again. Surrendering to my dreams, and hoping to avoid any nightmares.

When I woke up I let out a groan and squinted to make out the time on the alarm clock, 11:47 p.m. flashed in front of me in bright red.

"Ugh. My head," I moaned rubbing my temples with open palms.

Instantly, everything came flooding back-- last night, the morning on the roof, the afternoon with the vodka bottle and Edward putting me to bed. I scanned the room for my phone but saw it nowhere. Slowly I got myself up out of bed and made my way to the living room, shuffling my feet in front of me over the shaggy carpet unsure of who or what would be waiting for me in the living room.

I was surprised to find Edward lying on the couch watching TV and felt a wave of deja vu come over me, seeing him sit there like that… it reminded me too much of many other nights coming into this room and seeing Jacob in that very same position. Usually with his guitar draped over his lap.

"Um, hi," I whispered, afraid to look up at him but doing it anyways.

I could instantly see the stress in his eyes and it felt like a stab in my heart.

"Well you're alive. That's a good sign," he said forcing a smile before running his hand through his already messy hair.

I groaned and mumbled quietly that I was beyond embarrassed while I curled up in a fetal position on the couch next to him. I was grateful that the sun had gone down so that I could hide my face in the shadows of the room.

"Don't be. Everyone's entitled to a nervous breakdown every once in awhile," he told me while pulling me into his lap and caressing my face with his hand "Are you going to be ok?"

All I could do was nod my head in order to keep myself from crying. I knew I had to be honest with him, tell him what I had done, and I knew there was a very good chance he'd leave just as Jacob had. I would be surprised if he didn't.

We sat in silence letting the light from the television dance around our solemn faces until I noticed Jacob's note was still lying on the coffee table in front of us.

I knew he had most likely seen it and I suddenly felt even more ashamed.

"Edward, I need to tell you something," I started to say but he quickly stopped me by placing his finger over my mouth.

"You don't need to tell me anything Bella. Whatever happened happened. I just want to know that you're going to be okay now," he told me softly before kissing the top of my head.

"I love you, Edward," The words were out of my mouth before I'd even given myself the chance to process them. I needed him to know that my slip up earlier wasn't just some random drunk statement that had spilled out.

I didn't consider the fact that it might not be the most appropriate time to tell him. It had just came pouring out of my mouth in such rush that you would have thought we only had seconds left to live on this planet. As soon as it did though, something changed inside me. I felt a huge amount of relief, as if a weight had been lifted off my chest.

It was hard for me to look at him. I was afraid of his reaction. In my entire life I'd only ever told one other person I'd loved them, and the first time was during those carefree teen years where the words came as easily as 'hello' or 'see you later'. This was monumental for me and I wished I could tell him that.

He let out a light laugh and pulled me in closer to him, again turning me around to face him in his lap and letting me see the huge smile on his face as his eyes reached out to mine.

"I love you too my Bella. Though, I've known that from the moment I saw you in the subway," he replied quietly and reached his lips down to mine, kissing me softly, but showing me how much he meant it. I kissed him back, crushing my lips harder against his, relishing on the sweet taste of him incase I never got to feel his lips again.

He loved me too.

I was a mess, fucked up in more ways than one, and he still loved me. He'd loved me before he'd even known my name. I wasn't the only crazy person in the room. He had said it back and right now that was enough for me. Never had my heart felt so totally complete, yet shattered into a million pieces at the same time.

He was able to make me forget for a brief second how terrible of a person I really was deep down inside. I couldn't imagine not telling him the truth. He needed to know, but he was dead set on not hearing about what had transpired last night and if that's what he wanted… I had no choice but to fulfill his request.

Selfish, chicken-shit traitor slut.

He loved me, but as his words sunk in part of me couldn't accept them because he hadn't allowed me to be honest with him about who I really was. Would he still feel that way if he knew I had fallen so terribly hard last night? That I had let Jacob get the better of me?

I remained in his arms for hours, never wanting to move while we watched I Love Lucy reruns on the television screen in front of us. Around one a.m. Edward cleared his throat and pulled me in tighter against his solid chest, taking a deep breath before loosening his grip.

"Um, I really don't want to leave but… I feel weird staying here. This is still his home too. It wouldn't be right and if he came back… I can't imagine things would go over very well," he said with a bit of an edge to his voice while rubbing my arms tenderly with his hands.

"I understand. You're right… but I really don't want to be alone," I whispered nudging my head deeper against his chest.

"Well, I was thinking maybe you could come to my place," he replied softly while pulling my face up towards his so he could see my reaction.

I didn't even need to think twice about it, "Okay. Yeah. Let me grab a few things," I told him, giddy with excitement about seeing his apartment.

I imagined a total bachelors pad with a fully functioning bar and pin ball game in the corner. Maybe even a bear skin rug that we could use to our advantage at some point, if he still loved me after I somehow found the courage to tell him just how royally I had fucked up.

After throwing a fresh pair of pajamas in a bag with my toothbrush and make up bag, I changed into some street clothes and grabbed my heavy jacket from the closet. It hadn't stopped snowing all day so I knew the heavy duty winter wardrobe would be needed.

Edward had already turned everything off and was standing in the doorway when I came out from the bedroom. He was so breathtakingly beautiful standing there, the sight of him almost knocking the wind out of me as if it were the first time I'd ever laid eyes on him. Why on earth this gorgeous creature would want to have anything to do with the utter and total mess of a emotional roller coaster that was currently my life was beyond me, but I wouldn't question it as long as he still wanted me.

I had to tell him. He had to know, no matter how devastating it might be for us… if I didn't tell him, it would eat me alive.

We walked in silence most of the way but communicated by occasionally increasing the grip on each other's hands every few seconds. It was something simple but it made me smile. I would catch him sharing the same reaction with me out of the corner of my eye and it instantly warmed my heart even with the ten degree weather we were currently walking in.

The city looked gorgeous under the fresh blanket of snow. Another thing I loved about living here. Most people hated the snow, but I loved it. There was something so pure, so new about it. The cold air would breathe life into me and remind me of my parents and my childhood. I told Edward about how we would spend snow days in Central Park building 'snow families' and having snow ball fights. Those were some of the happiest memories I had of my parents. We didn't have many carefree days like that and I'd always treasured them.

After a short cab ride, we were dropped off in front of one of the more upscale buildings on the Upper Eastside.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen. Miss," the doorman said kindly as we walked by. Edward nodded his head in recognition and guided me towards the elevators with his hand on my back lovingly.

"Fancy building, Mr. Cullen," I teased as he flashed me a smile while pulling my body closer to him once we were safely inside the elevator. I closed my eyes as he kissed me slow and hard, making my toes curl from within my boots as his hands made their way down my back and under my jacket. The doors opened far too soon, breaking us from our private moment.

Stupid, incredibly fast elevator.

He held my hand as we got off on the 37th floor and walked down the well-lit hallway to Apartment 1027. This building was nothing like mine, that was easy to see from the outside. I had the feeling that maybe Edward had a little help with his income because I couldn't imagine an assistant to anyone would be able to afford a place like this in the city all alone.

"Welcome to my sanctuary," he whispered, swinging the door to his apartment open in front of me.

The walls were a dark red with white crown molding framing the large living room. The space was so large I was sure my voice would echo when I spoke. Heavy black curtains lined the oversized windows and the heels of my boots sounded like tap shoes on the marble tile as I made my way into the open room and spun around to take it all in.

"Wow. Very nice," I murmured as I checked out the newly remodeled kitchen with a top to bottom scan. "Very swanky. I had no idea you were so modern, Mr. Cullen," I teased again just as he opened the curtains to expose an amazing view of the city lights.

"Holy crow," I said in awe, speeding to make my way out to the balcony for a better look.

He was grinning now, "I had a feeling you would love this," he replied smugly.

He followed me outside and I could feel him coming behind me as I stood at the ledge of his balcony. I extended my head over the railing, letting the wind blow through my hair, mesmerized by all the lights, the cold air not fazing me at all. Edward was standing directly behind me now with his body up against mine, wrapping his arms around my waist before kissing my neck lovingly.

I felt an electric current run down my body at his touch, instantly no longer cold.

"Are you doing alright? You've been awfully quiet. It's making me kind of nervous," he confessed as he turned me around to face him.

"I'm fine. Really. I'm just…I don't know what happens next. I feel like I'm in limbo now more than ever and," I paused, once again trying to pick my words carefully. "I really think I need to tell you what happened last night, Edward. I don't think we can move forward unless I've been entirely honest."

I took a deep breath and let it out, watching the smoke from my exhale disappear into the cold winter night like a ghost.

The ghost of Bella's old life, I thought to myself sarcastically. Wishing that was all it would take to rid me of my passed mistakes.

"Ok. Just so long as you know I will be wherever you want me to be for however long you want me to be there. What happened last night doesn't matter, what matters is that you're here with me now Bella," he replied in a serious tone, pulling me tighter up against him.

I smiled and instantly wrapped my arms behind his neck. I thought about his statement for a fraction of a second, but I had already made my decision. I'd had enough time to consider everything. I was sure of the path I had chosen but in order to take that path I needed to be entirely truthful with him.

"My feelings haven't changed. I still want to give us a try. It's too late for me to walk away… my heart belongs to you now. That's why I need to tell you," I whispered looking up into his eyes to let him know I meant every word.

I stood on my toes and kissed him, needing to feel his lips one last time before he told me he never wanted to see me again after everything was said and done.

"I'm glad to hear you say that baby, but I mean it, whatever happened last night honestly doesn't matter to me. It's better that I not know," he said softly as he lifted his hand up to brush the side of my face gently.

"But it does matter. It's important to me. I need you to know or else it will tear me apart," I confessed, tearing up into his shoulder.

"You slept with him," he sighed with acid in his voice.

I caught my breath, surprised he'd guessed it with such ease.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I drank a lot. He sang me this song on stage and it nearly killed me. Alice took me home soon after but he showed up. He said all this stuff… before I knew it we were in the bedroom and it just… happened. I stopped it before long, I swear to you. I stopped it because it was the worst feeling in the entire world. I knew I didn't want it and I knew it'd hurt you. It'd hurt us. We still slept in the same bed, and it still happened and I shouldn't have let it, I know, but I'm an idiot…" I said through sobs while feeling his grip loosen around me.

"I can't say I'm surprised, Bella. I knew what I was getting into when I let myself fall for someone so broken," he said in a almost teasing manor, but I knew him well enough now to see through it.

My confession had hurt him, yet he wasn't pushing me away, not yet.

"You're… you're not mad?" I asked suspiciously between my sobs as I slowly looked up at him. Instantly I wished I hadn't because the anger and distaste was clearly on his face now and I suddenly found myself holding my breath.

"I'm not happy. If I ever see the motherfucker I will put my fist through his face," he growled, looking away from me and causing me to panic.

He can't even look at you.

I let out a desperate cry and quickly latched myself onto his body tighter.

"Please believe me. I know I fucked up. I shouldn't have had those drinks. To be honest, I'm starting to think I have a problem," I confessed quietly, now finding it difficult to look at him myself.

I heard him let out a strangled sigh and could see him shake his head from the corner of my eye. Nothing had prepared me for the pain I felt at seeing him like this.

"I need a minute." He suddenly whispered then pried my arms away from him without even looking down at me.

"Edward please, please don't leave." I somehow got out through my hysterical crying. My knees were shaking, forcing me to quickly take a seat on the lounge chair that was sitting in the corner of his balcony while I watched him walk back inside, disappearing through one of the doors inside his apartment. Instantly closing it behind him with a loud slam.

This was exactly what I expected, so why was it so utterly unbearable for me to accept now? He had every right to walk out on me, to tell me I was nothing more than a boozed up whore that deserved the misery my life was currently serving me.

I'd broken his heart after he'd so delicately mended mine. I'd done the one thing I had promised him I wouldn't do. I'd failed us before we'd even gotten the chance to truly start.

My index finger and thumb quickly found their way to my forearm, pinching my skin between my fingers, wishing it would cause me more physical pain than the emotional pain that was currently pulling me under.

Nothing compared to this. I could take a knife to my skin and it still wouldn't come close. I could hardly breath as my lungs gasped for air while my memory played over and over again what I had to done to bring all of this on.

"Bella what the hell are you doing, stop that!" His voice suddenly rang over me as he pulled my hand away from my arm. I hadn't even heard him open the door to come back outside but he was now suddenly kneeling beside me with a pain stricken expression on his face.

"It hurts so bad." I stuttered through my tears rocking my body back and forth in my seat, still unable to look up at him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you out here like that, I just needed a minute to process all this, I didn't want to say something I might regret. Fuck… do you do this to yourself often?" He asked quietly still holding my hands in his firmly.

I shook my head no because it was the truth. I'd only started doing that the night Jake had walked out on me.

"I don't ever want to see you do that again, do you understand me?" He said firmly after letting go of one of my hands so he could force me to look into his eyes.

Another sob left my lips as I threw myself into his arms crying into his chest once again.

"I love you, I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life. I know I fucked up, I don't deserve you or your trust but you have to know last night… that was repulsive. I hate myself more than you can ever hate me."

He put his hand over my mouth and frowned, "First of all, I could never and will never hate you. He fucked with your emotions, then he tried to fuck you. You were vulnerable and he knew that. As far as I'm concerned he took advantage of you," he said angrily. "With that being said… you do need to cut back on the drinking. There's no reason for it now," he finished lowly, lifting my face up to look at him again. His eyes were soft once more and his touch was kind. Far too kind for what I had done. I didn't deserve him, not at all.

"You're with me now. Only me. That's all I've wanted from the start. I've been wanting that chance since the day I first saw you, Bella. I knew it'd be difficult for the both of us. I knew there was a possibility that you'd fall back into his fucking arms when we returned and even though it hurts me, more than you'll ever know, I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect what happened last night to happen. But that's all part of your past. I don't ever want to relive it and I don't expect you to ever put me through it again," he said in all seriousness. "It's about us now, baby. I will make you so happy you won't ever want to feel fucking numb again, I promise you that, Bella Swan. What happened before now, that doesn't matter. All that matters is what happens next."

I stared at him in shock, overwhelmed by each word he'd said, by the feelings of relief that washed over me as he let me know he still wanted me, he still wanted us. I was literally overwhelmed by the love and passion I felt for him as he finished, never once breaking eye contact with me.

I grabbed his face with both hands and crushed my lips to his without hesitation, pouring every drop of love I felt into my kiss. How he had found it in his beautiful heart to forgive me, I would never understand that. It was something far to powerful to ever comprehend.

"I love you," I said into his lips. "I really do Edward, with all my heart. I belong with only you now."

The next thing I knew he had me picked up in his arms, my legs wrapped around his waist while he kissed me more passionately than ever before. I tugged on his hair, wanting to get closer, deeper into his body while he carried me back inside his warm apartment and into the room he had stormed into not ten minutes ago.

"This is a much better response than what I got earlier at my place," I joked trying to relax my sudden nerves as he laid me down gently onto a king size bed once we'd made it into his bedroom. I scanned my surroundings quickly as he removed his shoes and mine, noticing I was on an antique style four post bed in the very center of an elegant black and white bedroom I couldn't help but smirk to myself at just how sexy my Stalkers home really was. Large mirrors hung on the walls all around us as red cloth draped from the ceiling framing the enormous bed. It was the most beautiful bedroom I had ever seen.

"I wasn't going to have you drunk for the first time we made love," he breathed bringing me back to reality as his lips grazed my ear sending goose bumps up my arms. My entire body was on fire; my mind sure that this was the right path for me to take.

This was where my heart belonged. It was a scary realization but one I accepted without question. I was in love with Edward and I couldn't deny myself a chance to find true happiness. He was my future. He was all that mattered anymore.

"I love you so much." I told him again as I touched his face, staring deeply into his emerald green eyes.

I needed to hear those same words from him. I needed to know he still felt the same way after now knowing everything.

"Forever baby. I'm going to love you forever," he said breathlessly before attacking my lips, his hand brushing my cheek lovingly.

"I want you. Now," I begged. "I don't want to wait anymore. Please. I've never wanted anything else in my life so badly."

He groaned involuntarily at my words, suddenly biting my bottom lip and making me moan as his hands began to reach for my shirt. I arched my back to help him, wanting nothing between us and needing to have him in me as soon as possible. He pulled it over my head, wasting no time in removing my bra and taking my left breast into his greedy mouth, making me moan loudly at the sensation. His tongue traced every inch of what he held in his hand while his eyes looked up smiling into mine.

"Fuck baby, you're body is unbelievable, the things I plan on doing to it," he said panting, before biting my nipple then letting go to return his lips to my mouth lustfully.

I let out another moan, his words sending a delicious ache to my core. I pushed my hips up roughly against him and felt his dick harden even more at the action. Feeling impatient, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back onto the bed. I straddled him in one swift move and made quick work of his black v-neck t-shirt that had been taunting me all night, throwing it on the floor where it could lay next to mine. I pressed my lips to his firmly and whimpered as our tongues met, my needing hands caressing his chest then making their way to his pants. His mouth was smiling against mine as I took a hold of him in my palm over the fabric of his jeans, loving the hardness of his massive erection and instantly feeling my panties dampen even more .

"Shit, Bella. You have no idea how good that feels," he said, unleashing my lips from his while taking hold of my face with his hands.

"We've hardly begun Stalker." I whispered with a smirk just before I began kissing down his jaw, along his neck and chest, savoring every inch of his perfect features, as my fingers opened his pants up skillfully. He quickly raised his hips to help me release him, clearly anxious and impatient as well and making me that much more excited. I removed him from his pants and boxers, taking in all of his perfection. His cock stood up as excited as ever, calling out my name, begging for me to take him into my mouth. Complying, I bent down and closed my lips around it, circling my tongue and groaning at the taste.

"Oh God, baby. Just like that," he moaned back. "Holy fuck. Look to your left, Bella." His raspy voice instructed me.

I did as he asked, confused at first but then thankful beyond belief after meeting our reflection in the mirror, the most erotic view staring back at us. I moaned around him, sucking harder and more powerfully, once again realizing I could never and would never get enough of him. He was something most women could only dream of but somehow he was now mine.

I felt him take a hold of my face and the next second I was lying on my back, Edward on top, looking starved.

"I've missed your taste too, you know. You shouldn't get to have all the fun," he told me with an evil smirk before moving down the bed, finally ridding me of my pants and lacy underwear.

"Eager, are we Mr. Cullen?" I mocked, still panting and aching for his contact.

"You have no idea," he said, reaching down and pressing his mouth to my already soaked lips.

"Fucking shit," I swore, feeling his teeth graze my clit and making me rock my hips against his face. He held each of my thighs open with both his hands, dipping his tongue deeper into me. I looked to the side, searching for the two sexual creatures in the mirror again, shocked at the sight that awaited me.

"Jesus Christ. I love these mirrors, Edward," I whimpered. "Fuck baby, I seriously need you right now. I want to feel all of you. Please!"

With that he let go and moved above me, sucking and biting on my neck as I took a hold of his hips. He already knew I was on the pill, having explained to him how precautious I was, so I was thankful when he took no time in positioning himself at my center before slowing filling me with his beautifully flawless cock.

"Oh, God!" I moaned loudly, stretching my body beneath him, finally being completed by the massiveness that was Edward Cullen as he moved inside of me. It felt almost surreal. His cock inside of me was the most overcoming sensation I'd ever felt.

"Oh baby," he groaned along with me. "You feel fucking incredible, from the outside and the inside."

I arched my back and dug my nails into his back, completely lost, melting beneath him. My fantasies looked like shit compared to what he was giving me, the way he was conquering my body. He kept pushing himself in and out agonizingly slow, and then picking up the pace only to slow down again. It all felt so fucking good I wanted to cry.

"Harder… Faster," I begged.

The word, Please suddenly howled through my lips sending a viscous moan from my Stalkers own mouth.

My word brought just the reaction I'd wanted from him as he didn't think twice before forcing himself out of me only to slam back in roughly. I more or less screamed his name repeatedly over and over again, sensing my release approaching. He must have felt it too because he buried his face in my neck and bit my collarbone to muffle his own loud grunting.

I held on to his upper arm, the one with the beautifully sleeved ink, as I felt his other hand take hold of my thigh, bringing it up and over his shoulder, the new position bringing him deeper into me, and making us moan together so loudly I swear it almost shook the mirrors on the walls. The smell of sex and our strangled breathing filled the room, taking him and I on to a whole new level, one I'd never been to before.

I couldn't contain myself much longer. I pushed my hips back up to him, meeting his frantic thrusts and feeling my muscles tightening.

"That's right baby. Give it up to me," he said. "Me and only me."

I gasped at his words and caved into his last violent thrust before coming totally undone, surrendering to the exhilarating feeling of being completely taken by someone who controlled my every thought and care now. I felt him follow right after, his body slamming down on top of mine in exhaustion before rolling off to the side panting frantically.

Oh motherfucking Jebus! He was complete ecstasy, both to my body and soul.

Our chests moved in rhythm as we both tried to catch our breaths in order to come down from whatever fantasy world we had just been in.

Finally after about ten minutes, Edward turned to his side and gazed at me, a gorgeous grin appearing on his sexy face. I returned it, moving closer to him and snuggling into his neck, loving the way his arms wrapped around me securely.

"Wow. I fucking love you Stalker," I mumbled with a giggle, trying to fight back the sleep that was starting to come over me.

"And I you, my Bella. Forever," he said with obvious joy before pulling me in tighter against him so that I could fall asleep in the safety of his arms.

This was where I belonged, and this was where I would spend every night for the rest of my life.

When I woke up it took me a few seconds to recall my surroundings. I smiled remembering the events from the night before and could feel my face turning red just as Edward came into the room with a tray carrying two cups of coffee and a bowl of sugar with spoons.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," he was grinning as he set the tray down on the nightstand and leaned over to kiss me.

"I bet that's not the first time you've used that line," I teased thinking of Bree. He smiled and shrugged bashfully.

"I was just about to wake you. I wasn't sure if you had somewhere to be today."

"Ugh. I have to be at work by eight. Back to reality, unfortunately," I groaned.

"Hmm. I don't know about you, but my reality has suddenly been drastically upgraded," he replied pretending to be hurt.

It was insane to me… the love I felt for the man sitting beside me.

The thought of him alone could make life seem so wonderful and complete and I still had so much more to learn; so much more to experience with him. I grinned back at the realization, meeting his sexy smile and questioning stare.

"What do you have planned for the day?" I asked once I was able to focus.

"Not much. I was hoping I'd be lying in bed with you 'till you mentioned going to work," he answered.

"Well, I don't know about all day, but I can spare another few hours," I winked.

He smiled and instantly took the mug from my hand.

The next thing I knew we were wrapped in each other's arms, once again picking up where we had ended from the night before. If I wasn't sure before, I knew now that it was a fact; I would never get enough of him, especially now that he belonged to me and I to him. Not ever would I have enough of Edward Cullen.

I was in the shower a few hours later singing to myself when Edward came in chuckling at my high pitched notes before telling me his boss had called and asked him to run into the office for a few hours.

"Ok. I'll be fine. I've got to go get clothes for work anyways. I'll call you on my way in and we can meet up after my shift," I told him while rinsing the shampoo from my hair.

He waited for me to finish, glaring at my naked body before I leaned out from under the falling water to give him a quick kiss goodbye.

"I'll miss you," he said, then surprised me by leaning in to kiss my lips again, not caring if he completely submerged himself under the water from the showerhead above me. I moaned lowly into his mouth, unable to stop my hands from making their way up to his hair and pulling him in closer to me.

We had spent the entire morning ravishing each other, yet we were still unsatisfied.

"I want you again," he said against my lips, his fingers caressing down in between my legs before stroking my clit and eliciting a desperate whimper from my lips.

"Come get me," I challenged, letting go of him and moving backwards with a devilish smirk.

He raised his eyebrow, offended that I didn't believe he would. In a matter of seconds he was discarding his already wet clothes, throwing them hastily around the bathroom, and stepping into the shower with a dangerous look on his face.

"Don't challenge me Ms. Swan. You know how much I love those," he hissed, now standing right in front of me, but teasing by not actually placing his masterful hands on me. His eyes kept darting up and down my body and it was turning me on like crazy, I almost couldn't bare it anymore. I wanted him so badly, my body longed for his touch. He left me no other choice but to close the space between us, pressing my naked skin flushed against his. I felt him shutter around me, my own body burning up at the action, before he picked me up in a rushed pace and slammed me against the shower wall swiftly lifting my legs up to wrap around his beautifully fuckhot body. Taking a hold of his hair once again, I took his bottom lip in between my teeth and moaned at the roughness.

"Please Stalker, by all means, take this challenge." I finally let out, unable to contain my sexual anxiety any longer.

His predator like hand began descending down my stomach between us until it reached my clit and pinched it effortlessly. My body was close to falling apart before we'd even started. Without another word, he raised me up before lowering me back down into him, burying his beautiful cock in me once again.

I gasped uncontrollably and pressed my lips to his, wanting every part of us to be connected. He began pumping in and out of me with rhythmic force, devouring my lips and threatening to break me.

"Fuck. It's never felt this good," he admitted against my mouth as he kept moving in a frenzied speed.

I was fighting my body, trying desperately to hold back my orgasm, but it was all too much. The steam of the warm water cocooning around us, the sounds of our needy, violent moans-- it was all crushing me. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed back into him, his loud grunts sending a current down my belly.

I couldn't imagine how I'd lived as long as I had without Edward. He had me captivated; in love and crazy about him like a lost puppy. There was not one thing I wouldn't do for him. He could ask me to jump off a building with him and I'd do it without hesitation. He had truly, without a doubt, possessed my entire being now.

"Oh fuck. I'm almost there," I informed him in a breathless voice, no longer trying to suppress my release. Truthfully I had no choice. This had been no challenge for him at all.

He growled in an animalistic way and attacked my neck, his lips digging into my skin. Grasping my hips tightly, he pushed into me hard and carelessly. I cried out in pleasure and let go of all control. My body shook and fell apart in his arms as his hips gave one final thrust into me before he too came undone.

That was absolutely the most mind blowing thing I had ever experienced. Well at least in the last two hours.

"Sorry for making you late," I smiled up at him as I dried myself off. My body sore and more pleased than ever.

"Don't apologize, love. I was the one who started it," he answered with a wink. "I needed to freshen up anyways. I'll call you before you start your shift. Be safe Care Bear." He leaned over and kissed me one last time after slapping my ass lightly then grabbed a towel and headed out of the bathroom. A more than smug smile plastered on his gorgeous face.

I quickly finished up and gathered all my things before exiting. Grinning to myself as I looked around the apartment, I already felt at home here and the thought almost embarrassed me. He was right. This place was a sanctuary, and he was the God of it. I remembered how last night I'd been surprised by my surroundings but now everything seemed to fit Edward perfectly. The dark walls made me feel warm and welcome while the bright elegant framing of the room helped calm me and feel safe. The modern furniture was obviously well lived in but taken care of and it had a comforting feel to it, even the newly remodeled kitchen that I was already picturing myself cooking in.

I shook myself free from my daydreaming and grabbed my dead phone from the coffee table to drop it into my bag. I couldn't help but stop to scan the photos that were held in place by magnets on his fridge. Most of them were of Bree. I smiled at her baby photo, she must have been close to one but I would know that smile anywhere.

I then noticed one of Edward and Jane, their daughter between them but looking at each other with love in their eyes.

It was strange how I didn't feel any jealousy looking at the photo. It actually warmed my heart to see them so content. Edward deserved to be happy, and I found comfort in knowing that I was the one who would make him smile like that from now on.

I turned to grab my bag from the counter then turned off all the lights to make my way out to the busy sidewalk thirty-seven floors below me.

The streets were wet from the snow and I was happy to have worn my good boots last night when we'd left the apartment because it was too nasty out to be wearing anything else now. After a very random thought I made a mental note that I needed to start my Christmas shopping this week and found myself grinning from ear to ear at the thought of getting to buy Edward a gift. It had to be perfect since it would be our first holiday together.

Our first of very many holidays. I promised myself while grinning.

I was just about to go into my building when I heard Alice yelling my name from down the street.

She gave me a quick hug once she reached me, stroking my cheek sweetly but looking incredibly concerned.

"How are you, babe? I've been worried. Where have you been?" she asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

I shrugged. "Uh, no place. What are you doing here? Why aren't you busy sucking face with your fiancé whom you'll be leaving in less than two weeks for sunny L.A.?" I asked hoping she'd drop my peculiar behavior.

"Jacob called him. Jazz had to go meet him. He said it was an emergency and asked me to call you but you weren't picking up your phone so I headed over here. This is my forth goddamn time over her Bella!"

In my rush last night I had forgotten to pack my phone charger and my phone had already been worthless before I'd even left the apartment last night.

"Oh. Sorry. I, um… can't find my charger." It was only a little white lie.

"What's going on, Bella? What happened with you and Jake? Where have you been? What the hell am I saying, obviously you were with Edward, but what the fuck Bella? Why haven't you called me!" Alice asked as she followed me into the building with her hands on her hips. I took in a deep breath and pushed the button to the elevator.

"We're over, me and Jake are utterly and totally over." I told her with another shrug, while tapping my foot.

"What do you mean? What happened?" she squealed, much more surprised then I'd expected.

I sighed deciding I would have to fill her in on yesterday's events sooner or later and watched her mouth drop lower and lower to the ground as I told her everything right up to my morning at Edward's place and our shower.

"Let me get this straight. You slept with Jacob, and then twenty-four hours later, slept with Edward… You are bad," she said crossing her arms and shaking her head with a wicked grin.

"Oh, please! You weren't any help, either. How could you leave me with him like that?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"Bella Swan you are an adult, and Jasper is my fiancé. I have to side with him, you know that. He's my weakness and we're already having a hard time because of my trip. Please don't blame me for your lack of control. I told you not to drink," she told me firmly.

I knew she was right and instantly felt bad for even raising my voice at her. I began apologizing but she quickly shut me up by covering my mouth with her finger.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm just kind of in shock here… this is so not like you, hon. So Edward knows about Jacob? He forgave you?"

I nodded.

"Yes. He didn't want to know but I had to tell him. I had to or I'd never be able to live with myself," I told her gloomily while unlocking the door to the apartment.

"So you haven't actually talked to Jacob since the roof episode?" She asked following behind me.

"No. He left me a note, it's on the coffee table," I told her while pulling my boots off by the door. I heard her stumble around the dark room without delay to retrieve said note.

Patience had never been Alice's strong point.

"Aw, Bells. This is like a damn soap opera. What are you going to do?" she asked after scanning the letter several times.

"I'm in love with Edward, Alice. I want to be with him. I don't know how else to explain it… when I'm not with him I feel like I'm in a tunnel without light. He makes me feel whole again. Like I'm alive for the first time in a very long time," I told her quickly.

"You don't have to convenience me, honey. I saw you guys. It was disgusting, believe me."

I giggled, grateful that she was lightening things up a bit.

"It's so much more than you know. I've never felt this way before. Not ever," I tried to make her understand, but I knew there were no words that justly describe the feelings being with Edward had brought on.

"I got it, I got it. You're crazy in love," she said throwing her hands up as if to block me and my verbal attack.

"Is Jacob ok? I figured he would have gone to your place yesterday."

Maybe asking wasn't such a good idea, but I was worried about him. Just because I didn't want to see him any time soon didn't mean I'd stopped caring about him. A part of me would always care about Jacob Black. He was my first love, the person who'd helped me more than anyone else after I'd lost my parents.

"I don't know. Jasper said he went to the warehouse," she told me, looking down at the note again in her hands. "He's right, you know. He didn't deserve a girl like you. You were always his crutch and he never thanked you."

I let out a sigh and ran my hands through my hair, hating the situation and experiencing the side effects of being away from Edward already.

"That's not true Alice, be fair. I don't hate him, you know a part of me will always care for him. I just found happiness with Edward in his absence. I found love-- real love—and I don't ever want to let it go," I breathed. "It may seem selfish, but the way Edward makes me feel… after feeling that I can't just settle with something that's comfortable and familiar. Looking back on things, maybe that's why I was so stuck on Jacob; because it felt so familiar to me. But he deserves a chance to find someone who makes him feel the way Edward makes me feel," I finished, surprising myself at how confident and sure I sounded.

Oh, Edward.

I'd be forever indebted to him for bringing back the girl that was lost years ago.

"Ok Huck, I'll help you paint the fence white too,'' Alice replied smirking at her own joke. "Like I said, you don't have to convince me. I know you're not an impulsive person, not normally anyways. This is entirely unlike you, so I know this must really be something you feel strongly about or you wouldn't be doing it," my best friend said draping her arm over my shoulder and giving it a squeeze.

"I knew you'd understand Pixie," I said with a happy sigh and leaned into her as she asked me if I would be the one to move out.

"I don't know, I haven't really thought about it yet. It's something Jacob and I will have to discuss. The lease is in my name and he can't really afford the rent."

She nodded in understanding.

"You can't throw him out. I mean, you could but… you won't. I know you."

She was right. I wouldn't kick him out onto the street. I may have been the one who paid most of our bills but he didn't deserve to be made homeless. I could never do that to him, or anyone for that matter.

It was, however, out of the question for us to continue living together. It would only cause more drama and blur the boundaries of our new platonic relationship.

Now I had to figure out how I would handle the situation without causing any more heartache to the person I had once planned on spending the rest of my life with.

I was five hours into my shift when I saw Edward come in, causing my heart to skip a beat as he gave me a wink and took a seat in the back corner. He sat there for over an hour while I stayed busy at the bar fulfilling peoples drink orders as fast as I could. I had warned him not to come until after two a.m. since that's when things slowed down but he was obviously missing me just as much as I was missing him because he had shown up an hour early. Obviously waiting for a lull in the action was nearly killing me, especially knowing he was only a few feet away.

I was able to make my way to him after a while, but suddenly heard Jessica, another bartender, yell after me that Jacob was here. I froze and followed her gaze as I quickly spotted him standing in the doorway with a single rose in his hand.

What the hell was he doing here?!

He gave me a slight head nod as he continued walking in my direction. I probably looked like a deer in headlights about to be shot by the hunter approaching her.

Bambi was one of my least favorite Disney stories.

I stole a glance at Edward and saw him clench his fists on the table at the sight of my ex. He looked absolutely livid.

How dare he come to my place of work and ambush me like this after telling me he would give me some space? This was not like him.

"You've got to be kidding me," I muttered to myself as I stuffed my hands into the back pockets of my short jean skirt.

"Jacob, I still have an hour before I can cash out," I told him quickly and tried to guide him away from the table Edward was sitting at.

"I know. Charlie said I could come in and talk to you. He said you could take a break out back. Ten minutes," he informed me. "Please?"

I let out the breath I was holding, pissed beyond belief.

"I don't want to take a break right now. And honestly, I don't have anything to say to you," I replied panicking.

"We have to talk Bella. I'm sorry I left yesterday," he told me, trying to reach for my hands. I took a step back, not wanting him to touch me, and saw his face fall before becoming angry.

"I came home around two and you weren't there. I stayed till the sun started coming up before deciding you must have been at Alice's, but I called and you weren't there. Jasper said he'd meet me at the warehouse… he said you weren't there at all last night," he accused.

That was his way of prying into my whereabouts.

"Jacob, now is not the time for this," I told him strictly.

"My world as I know it is falling apart and you tell me now is not a good time? I've already told you Charlie said we could go talk!" he shouted, catching the attention of several people around us as he grabbed my arm forcefully. Without thinking I looked in Edward's direction, which right away caused Jacob to follow my eyes, noticing immediately who I was looking for.

Edward was already making his way towards us with his fists clenched at his sides and his face dangerous.

"The guy from the airport?" I heard Jacob question just before he released me and began pushing his way through the crowd of people towards Edward.

I froze, panic taking over me, before realizing what was about to happen.

"Jacob, stop! Please! Let's go talk," I shouted after him but it was too late. I felt my breathing become uneven as I extended my arm out to stabilize myself against the wall, still close enough to see them eyeing each other up. The room was tilting slightly to the left and I was sure I would have collapsed to the floor if the wall hadn't been in such close proximity.

"You're E," I heard Jacob shout bitterly.

"Edward," he replied bluntly while staring at Jacob, his nostrils flaring.

I watched as Edward took another step closer to my ex and cried out at the sight of them now inches apart.

Seeing their tempers flare, it somehow helped me find the strength to move my legs from underneath me in order to join the chaos that was currently my soap opera of a life.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Edward?" Jacob asked with menace in his voice. "You think you can just swoop in and take her from me? She's not yours to have," Jacob shouted after giving Edward a firm shove with both his hands.

"Jacob, stop!" I screamed looking frantically around for Charlie, Sam, anyone who could help.

"That's where you're wrong, Jacob," Edward responded returning Jacob's shove and making my ex stumble backwards a little. "She is mine. Your loss was my gain and don't you even fucking dream about me letting go of her. You want to ask me who I am? Who the fuck are you to be taking advantage of her when she's wasted out of her mind? Real nice, man. Super classy. You must really fucking care about Bella," Edward spit back in his face giving him another hard shove back.

My breath caught as I saw Jacob lose his temper and throw the first punch. Unfortunately for him, Edward was quick to move to the side, causing my ex to miss and stumble forward. My Stalker threw the next punch, connecting his fist to Jacob's jaw just as Charlie and Sam emerged from the back to force them apart. Both were breathing heavily with their threatening eyes locked on each other.

I felt tears begin to roll down my face as I looked on in horror.

I was thankful Charlie and Sam had shown up when they did because the look in Edward's eyes told me that he was ready to really show Jacob exactly how he felt about him and I knew it could quite possibly have sent him to the hospital.

"Edward, I'm so sorry," I said through my tears as I ran my hand through his wild hair before hugging him tightly.

"No harm done, love," he told me kindly, the danger leaving his eyes as he looked down into my eyes.

"I'm cool, man. You can let go," he told Charlie calmly and then kissed my forehead.

Charlie released his grip from Edward's shoulder, looking at us with pure confusion. I turned to watch Sam pushing Jake out of the bar and let out a sigh, feeling the tears fall more heavily from my eyes as the adrenaline rush began to subside.

"Bella, my office. Now," Charlie said abruptly making me jump in Edward's arms.

Now you've done it, I scolded myself.

I couldn't wait for my shift to be over. In a matter of minutes, what I thought would be a good night had turned into a nightmare.

"Can I come to your place when I'm done here?" I asked Edward after letting out a loud sigh.

"Of course you can, baby," he breathed out. "I'm sorry I lost my temper. I just saw him grab you and reacted. I should've kept my cool. This is where you work," he told me apologetically.

"No. You were justified," I dismissed his apology as he dried my face with his hands.

"He shouldn't have come here and he shouldn't have grabbed me like that," I threw my arms around him for one last hug. "I love you," I told him quietly as I nuzzled my face deeper against his chest. "I certainly don't deserve you, but I love you so much."

He held me close to him, inhaling me in and making everything feel instantly better.

"Don't be ridiculous, Care Bear. Enough with this deserving bullshit. You're my fucking life now and I don't want to hear you question that anymore. Got it?" he asked, kissing the top of my head tenderly while waiting for my reply.

"The cheese is back," I teased letting out a small laugh as I looked up into his loving eyes.

He shot me a wink and leaned down to brush his lips on mine, whispering a soft 'I love you' before turning to leave the bar.

"Be safe," I yelled after surprising myself with a smile.

He turned and flashed me one in return with a nod. "See you soon, beautiful."

I stole a glance at one of the cocktail waitresses and saw her shake her head in disbelief. I had clearly shocked quite a few people who thought they knew me tonight' that I was sure of.

I ran my hands through my hair before making my way around the tables to the back office to find Charlie.

I walked in after finding his door open and took a seat in front of his desk, letting my face fall into my hands as I waited for his lecture to begin. My Edward high already gone. Part of having a father-like figure as a boss also meant having embarrassing conversations that normally wouldn't ever take place in a employee/employer situation.

"What the hell was that, Bella? Who's the pretty boy you were just all over and what the hell is going on with you and Jacob? The kid comes in here with his tail between his legs, begs me to let you see him and before I know it there's yelling, fists being thrown in my bar and you're in the arms of some stranger," he asked sounding mortified.

I couldn't help but smile at his description of Edward.

He was right; Edward wasn't like anyone I'd normally spend my time with. He was like all the guys I stayed clear of in high school.

Guess you're really growing up Swan.

I fiddled with my hands, knowing I could trust Charlie but frightened of his reaction. He was like a father to me and deserved the truth.

"His name is Edward. We met the night before I left for L.A. It's a long story. A sort of cheesy, wild story," I snickered. "You probably wouldn't even believe half of it but he ended up being on the same plane and we spent the entire week together. He's wonderful Charlie," I replied with a weak smile, hearing the love I felt for him in my voice.

My boss didn't look thrilled.

"What about Jacob?"

Jake and Charlie had a special bond. He would come in some nights with me when things were busy or when someone would call in sick and Charlie would even take him out on fishing trips from time to time. They were buddies. Like everyone else in my life, Jacob was connected to him.

"We're done. He left and I found someone else. I don't want to hurt him, but I'm not going to pretend there's hope for something that's just not there anymore."

He shook his head, seeming to not understanding a word I was saying.

"Bella, you were a wreck before you left. If you didn't still have feelings for the kid you wouldn't have taken that break-up as hard as you did," Charlie stated, while studying my face.

"I realize that… I'll always love Jacob, in a way. I'm just not in love with him, not anymore. I know it might sound ridiculous right now but it's the truth Charlie," I assured him.

"It does sound insane. But who am I to judge? I've been divorced five times," he said playfully, obviously accepting my decision.

I smiled at his realization and then let out a sigh. "I'm good Charlie, really. I'm sorry this happened tonight. I'll make sure it never happens again. You know I don't like airing out my dirty laundry here. I had no idea he would show up."

"Yeah, well… I guess it's my fault for butting in and telling him he could come talk to you during your shift. Just be careful, Bells. Break-ups are a messy thing. I'd hate to see you get hurt again. Sometimes the hardest part is letting go. Trust me kid, I'm a pro at this stuff. Best thing to do is cut your losses before things get messy."

I nodded my head in agreement and followed him back out into the bar after collecting myself.

"Do you need a place to crash tonight?" he asked after placing his hand on my shoulder and giving it a loving squeeze.

"No, that's not necessary. Thanks, boss daddy," I whispered in his ear after giving him a hug then made my way back behind the bar to finish out my shift.

"This guy must be something. You really do look… happy," he suddenly told me with a smile before walking away, letting me know instantly in his own way, that he approved of what I was doing.

I stopped at the door of the bar, staring straight ahead. I would have been surprised if he hadn't beenwaiting for me.

I looped my thick scarf around my neck and tugged my black knit newsboy hat on over my hair before heading across the street to Jacob who was sitting on the curb looking the saddest I'd ever seen him. A passer by would have thought he'd just been given a week to live or had his entire family killed in a plane crash. It was heart-breaking to see him like this, but I reminded myself I too had shared that same expression a little over a week ago.

"Bella… Please forgive me. I shouldn't have acted like that. I don't know what came over me--" he said jumping to his feet before I interrupted him.

"Don't," I raised my hand up, not wanting to hear it. "Showing up at my job like that was unacceptable. I thought you said you were going to give me some space," I reminded him, annoyed and hoping he'd get the hint.

I turned to walk away, having said the only thing I needed to tell him. I wasn't ready to have this conversation; not after I saw the tears in his eyes. I knew I would say something I would regret later if we talked and I didn't want to cause anymore damage.

I was done making mistakes.

"Bella, I can't just let you go. I won't," he told me, grabbing my arm to turn me around to face him.

"It's too late. Please don't make things worse than they already are Jake," I pleaded with him.

"How is it too late? Jasper said you've only known the guy a fucking week," he said exasperated.

I was going to kill Alice for giving up even that much information.

"You broke up with me, Jacob. You left without a fucking care," I hissed. "Although, I guess I should thank you. I found something much more worth fighting for. Someone who appreciates me and has shown me what real happiness means," I added, stomping my feet in the snow and yanking my arm free from his grasp.

"It was a break, Bella. I just needed to figure stuff out."

I'd had it with this break nonsense. Did he really think I was that stupid? Did he really think he could insult my intelligence that easily?

"Really? And did that girl from Miami help you figure it out?" I asked, stopping and turning to look at him again.

I somehow didn't care as much as I had when I'd first found out, I wanted him to know I wasn't as naïve and he thought I was.

He looked like I'd just punched him in the gut.

"I… Bella, that was… it didn't," he stuttered.

"Save it, Jacob. We're over. We've been over. We were just two people in a comfortable situation. We both deserve more than that."

"Then what was the other night about?" he asked desperately.

"Too much alcohol and closure. You should have known it meant nothing more than that when I began sobbing over the fact that you were on top of me," I replied coldly before turning my back on him and leaving him there alone on the sidewalk to think over my last words.

When I got up to Edward's apartment, I was surprised to find a note on the door telling me to come in. Feeling a little confused, I walked in to find hundreds of candles lit-- real candles-- and the lights dimmed as some soft jazz music played from the stereo. My mood immediately changed as a smile spread across my face and I instantly forgot the scene I had just walked away from. Stalker had managed to take my breath away, again.

"Welcome home," Edward whispered from behind me before he kissed my neck slowly, the tip of his tongue grazing my skin.

"Mmm…home. That sounds kind of nice," I replied turning around to kiss him hungrily. The taste of his mouth was sweet and I was quickly intoxicated by him. I noticed his grin after he'd pulled away and tilted my head to examine his face closer in the candle light.

"What?"

"Well, I'm glad you feel that way because there's something I want to talk to you about," he took my hand and walked me over to the couch, sitting down before pulling me onto his lap.

I looked at him bemused, causing him to smile even wider.

"I was thinking about what you said last night, about being in limbo… and well, I want you to move in with me," he said deliberately and placed a key in my hand attached to a Care Bear key chain. It took me a second to realize what he was saying and I couldn't help but sit there and stare at him with a shocked look on my face.

"Move…? Move in here… with you… already?" I was able to ask a few seconds later.

"I know it's pretty quick, but I feel like it's the right thing to do. I hate being away from you, baby. And to be honest, the idea of you sharing an apartment with your ex who's still in love with you… I'm not comfortable with it," he said candidly while rubbing my legs with his hands.

"No, no, I agree about Jacob, but… are you sure we're ready for this?" I asked nervously.

"I do… I really do," he answered with a boyish grin.

"Ok. Yeah," I smiled back, giving him a quick kiss. "Oh God, Alice is going to freak," I told him and let myself fall deeper into his arms where he held me firmly against him, laughing beneath me.

"You have to let me help with rent though," I didn't say split because I knew even split in half this place was way out of my budget.

"Hmm… I'll think about it," he concluded, picking me up and carrying me into our bedroom, where we spent the rest of the night celebrating the monumental mile stone, one we had just reached together.

My dad had been right once again.

Sometimes things really did have to get a lot worst before they could get any better; because right now, I couldn't imagine ever being happier.

If only we could live in this moment forever, I couldn't help but think to myself. I was already dreading the questions I would have to answer when people found out about this sudden life change of mine. I wouldn't worry about that tonight. No, tonight would be my first night in my new home, with my new future.

I would face tomorrow, tomorrow.

I know a lot of you want to know how the fuck Stalker could forgive her for that so quickly, those questions will be answered in the next chapter…

EPOV up next.

I've been blessed by the beautiful Lolypop82 on Twitpic with some amazing manips that she's created specifically for TMT. You can find the links to those on my profile page. Her stuff is amazing and definitely worth taking a minute to check out.