A/N: Behold a slightly late Christmas present!

So look see the days
The endless coloured ways
And go play the game that you learnt
From the morning.

Neji awoke to the sound of his window sliding open, which was followed quickly by the realisation that it wasn't nearly late enough for him to be conscious.

"Ugh, smells like sex," a voice said from beside him, "Who've you been getting it on with, Neji?"

Neji sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily, belatedly noticing that he had kicked off the blankets at some point during the night. And that he was completely naked.

"Umm –" Neji began, but was cut off.

"Don't pretend you've got something I haven't seen," Sakura said in a bored voice, examining the used condom that Shikamaru had thrown onto the floor before he had left. Neji imagined the distaste showing on her face behind the cougar mask.

He coughed pointedly. Neji could practically feel her eyes rolling.

"I'll give you five minutes to get ready," Sakura said sweetly, before slipping back out of the window.

Neji washed quickly, wincing only slightly as he walked. The bedroom would have to wait until he got back, as dirty as it was. Neji picked up his mask and joined Sakura outside, sliding his window shut quietly. There was a pause.

"Don't ask, I won't tell you."

Sakura sighed theatrically.

"Ah, well," she said philosophically, following behind Neji as they ran towards the ANBU training grounds, "I didn't really expect you to anyway."

He and Sakura met Tenten and Moegi outside the ANBU office. Neji didn't miss Moegi standing just a little bit too close to Tenten, but brushed it off in order to focus on their training. The session went well, his team responding to the new formations as Neji had hoped. It also provided a good excuse for Neji to focus his entire mind on something other than Shikamaru.

"Oi, Moegi," Neji called as his cell finished for the day, indicating that the girl follow him, "Time for some paper work." Moegi smiled, and gave a small wave to Sakura and Tenten.

"Lucky me," she said, falling into step next to Neji. They walked in silence for a while. Moegi appeared to be enjoying the bright sky and the clear air, but Neji's mind was elsewhere. So, Moegi's comment, when it came, took him completely off guard.

"I know you saw us," she said matter-of-factly, pausing to bow as slightly as Naruto walked past arguing loudly with Sasuke. Neji did likewise.

"What do you mean?" Neji asked, when they had passed, genuinely curious. Moegi sent him a sidelong look that could have meant anything.

"At Chouji's party," she said, breaking a leaf off a bush as they walked past, twirling it absently, "You saw Tenten and I out the back." Neji said nothing, wondering where she was going with this.

"You were pretty damn drunk –"

"Oo-kay, Moegi," Neji interrupted, halting his steps, "What's your point?"

Moegi chuckled, and turned to face him.

"I just want to tell you that it won't affect us as a team," she said, the earnest expression on her face making up for the fact that she came up to Neji's chin, "It doesn't change anything, and I wanted you to know that. Tenten doesn't want you to worry about it."

Neji took a moment to process this, and continued walking.

"So, you're…together, now?" he asked, scratching his nose uncomfortably, "You and Tenten?" Neji refused to acknowledge the tender, somewhat sentimental smile on Moegi's face.

"Yeah," she said, "Yeah, we are." There was a pause.

"That's…," don't say hot, don't say hot, "nice." Neji could have sworn he saw an even bigger blush than normal grace Moegi's cheeks as she pushed open the door to the headquarters. The dim lighting inside made it hard to tell. Shino was on reception duty that morning, and he fixed them with his usual stare as they approached.

"Good morning, Shino," Neji acknowledged, propelling Moegi forward slightly, "Moegi is being formally inducted into my squad. I need the relevant documents."

"Of course," Shino said, disappearing into the back room. Moegi began to tap her fingers vaguely on the counter as they waited. Neji cleared his throat.

"Thank you for, uh, coming clean," Neji said finally, "So to speak. I appreciate it." Moegi smiled, and opened her mouth to say something.

"Your documents, Neji-san," Shino said suddenly, taking both Neji and Moegi by surprise.

"Thank you," Neji said, ushering Moegi over to a table, where she sat down and obediently started to fill out the forms. Neji left her there, with instructions to hand them back to Shino when she was done, and headed home.

As he cleaned up his bedroom from the mess he and Shikamaru had made last night, Moegi's words, as well as unbidden images of her and Tenten together floated through Neji's mind. What Moegi had said was true – on their last mission, neither one of them had shown any sort of bias nor impairment towards the other. Their team, if anything, had worked better as a unit on that mission than in previous trainings. If Tenten and Moegi could do it, why couldn't he and Shikamaru? What was stopping them, other than Neji's somewhat distorted sense of loyalty? Neji huffed irritably, and went to have another shower.

When he was clean, Neji went to visit Hinata at the hospital. Bizarrely, she and her genin team had picked up a rare virus on their last mission to Wave Country. It was nothing life threatening, and definitely curable, but Hinata was certainly looking a little worse for wear when Neji entered her hospital room.

"Neji-san," she said, sitting up and offering a weak smile when she caught sight of him, "I'm so glad you've come."

"I hope you are feeling better, cousin," Neji said, sitting down in the chair at her bed.

"Oh, much better, thank you," she said, "It's nice to have some peace and quiet, though, for once." She gestured across the room, where her three genins were all snoozing in their own beds. Neji chuckled, his eyes wandering over get well cards and bouquets of flowers that littered Hinata's bedside table. He was particularly taken by the large plush dog that was tucked into bed with Hinata – she followed his line of sight, and blushed slightly.

"Kiba bought him for me," she said, in a small voice, "I know it's stupid, but it makes me feel like I'm back at the Inuzuka compound. It's…comforting." Neji tried to smile, but gave what was probably more of a grimace instead.

"Hinata, I need some advice," he said eventually, "Well, I need your opinion, at least." Having always been somewhat sensitive to other's emotions, Hinata sensed the sincerity in Neji's tone and looked at him patiently, waiting for him to continue. Neji took a deep breath.

"Is Kiba really worth it? Was it really worth estranging the entire family over a man that you may not even marry? On top of that, is it really feasible to form such bonds when you and he both know that either of you could be killed on a mission in a week's time? Is it –"

"Neji," Hinata said in her calm voice, placing a hand on his, "It's all right. I know what you worry about, and I know who you worry about."

"So?" Neji urged, leaning forward slightly, "Do you have answers for me? Can you tell me what I should do?"

"Neji," Hinata repeated gently, squeezing his hand slightly, "You know as well as I do that I would never tell you what to do. The only thing I've ever wanted for you is to be happy, as silly as it sounds. I know how hard you are on yourself, and I know the hopes my father is pinning on you as the future of our clan. We have been brought up to be loyal to the family above all else, above even ourselves. In that respect, I understand how difficult your decision is – it feels like you are going against everything you have been taught."

"Exactly!" Neji interrupted, but Hinata held up her hand.

"Just listen," she murmured, and then continued, "On the other hand, you, Neji, have been a selfless tool of this family and this village for your entire life. Twenty-four years of putting other people's satisfaction above your own needs! All I want…All I want is for my favourite cousin to have his own happiness for once. When you really think about it, your ties to the family are superficial – Father sees you as a tool to consolidate the clan's future, not as the man that I see you as."

Hinata's tone became low and urgent, and Neji could sense her distress.

"You can be a successful shinobi and fulfil your duty to this village, but you can have your own personal happiness as well. It doesn't have to be a choice – in the end, can you imagine living a life without such special bonds?"

"That's just it, Hinata," Neji said after a moment's silence, "I don't know anymore. Ever since Anko died and I met Shikamaru, everything has been turned upside down. I never used to question anything that I was told to do – I had respect, and thus, I had purpose. But now…Can I still call myself a shinobi if I hinder my own judgement by choosing to be with Shikamaru?"

'Shikamaru hardly ever does external missions anymore, you know that," Hinata protested, "And even if he does leave the village, it will never be with your cell."

"But I'll worry…"

Hinata gave him a small, sad smile.

"The worry never goes away," she said softly, "If anything, it just gets worse. But it's all worth it for those moments when Kiba does come home safely, and all my fears are unfounded, and I can feel his healthy, strong, alive body under my hands. It's things like that you remember for a long time."

But…" Neji said, about to protest, but Hinata stopped him once more.

"I'm not telling you to do anything," she said, "You asked for my advice, and I give it willingly in the selfish hope that I will see you happy for once in my life. That's all there is to it." As Neji looked at Hinata's smiling face, and the way she clutched at the toy dog so lovingly, he realised that she had become a woman and a kuniochi without him even noticing.

"When did you become so strong?" Neji asked after a moment, almost laughing when he saw a familiar blush explode on her cheeks.

"Neji-ni-san taught me how to be strong," she said quietly, looking down at her hands self-consciously, "So that I could be strong for him, when the time came."

"Thank you, Hinata, for your advice," Neji said, getting up and placing a hand on her shoulder, "You have given me lots to think about. I shall try and make the right decision by you and by me." He turned to leave.

"Just…don't take too long," Hinata called from behind him, "Shikamaru won't wait forever." Neji smiled briefly, without turning, and left.

---

After what felt like years, Neji found himself sitting once more atop his favourite meditation hill. Puffy, soft clouds floated languidly across an orange sky above Konoha, and in his mind's eye, Neji could see Shikamaru lounging beside him on that afternoon of their first meeting. As he compared his first impressions of the man with what he had experienced last night, the jarring clash made him laugh out loud into the pleasant afternoon quietude. Undeniably, there had always been a sexual attraction between them, and last night…Well, last night had only confirmed that attraction to Neji.

As satisfying as the sex had been, however, Neji found himself picturing he and Shikamaru waking up on a Sunday morning, having late breakfasts together, playing shogi together. In short: living together, in every sense. But every time he imagined those things, Hiashi's frowning face would continuously appear in the background of each of the fantasies. Hiashi's presence had been a looming one in Neji's life ever since his own father was killed. Hiashi had always been there to guide Neji in whatever task he was assigned, and to imagine a life cut off from that advice seemed absurd.

Even as he had these thoughts, a new, smiling face, larger and more clear than Hiashi's, came forward unbidden in his mind. Hinata's advice at the hospital had been simultaneously more logical and more sensitive than Hiashi's had ever been. And he would still have Hinata, after all. She had made the same decision that he was in the process of making, except without anyone to guide her. Neji wished fleetingly that he had been closer to Hinata when she was making her decision.

Neji sighed and shifted his position. As he let his mind wander, he started to think of all his friends and teammates: Tenten and Moegi, Sakura and Lee, Hinata and Kiba, Naruto and Sasuke…Each and every one of them were powerful and confident shinobi that were respected both inside and outside the village. Each one of them had shown that it was possible to have a relationship at the same time as fulfilling their duties as protectors of Konoha. Things that some of them had said to him over the past few months – Naruto, Hinata, Moegi – were resurfacing in his mind.

Hinata's most recent advice, as blunt as it had been, had had the effect of clearing Neji's clouded mind. All his worries and fears and troubles had been misplaced. Nothing was stopping he and Shikamaru from being together except Neji himself, not the village, or perhaps his family. His own selfish anxieties had caused Shikamaru pain – Neji had not missed the bitterness in his tone as he left the previous night, nor the murmured promises of 'one night only'. As he sat there atop the hill, overlooking Konoha in the pre-dusk light, Neji had two consecutive revelations. The first: that he and Shikamaru should be together. The second: that Shikamaru thought that they weren't to be together ever again.

"Fuck," Neji murmured as his eyes flew open, activating his Byakugan. He needed to find Shikamaru.