Summary: This chapter is an homage to 'Improbable' an episode of the 'The X-Files' written by Chris Carter.
Improbable:Unlikely to take place, be true, or occur.
Thanks go out to my beta Agent Extremis. You know A.E I am really getting tired of thanking you, when really I'm the one doing all the work. LOL just kidding you are freaking AWESOME!
Disclaimer: It would mean that all we are are checkers on a checker board being moved around by some ... forces completely outside and unbeknownst to us.
Previously on Ouroboros:
Derek was now standing infront of her, he really didn't know what to say, he hadn't planned on seeing her tonight, not after what happened today.
Addison stood in front of him motionless she was speechless, she hadn't planned on having to talk to him tonight.
"Addie?" he said in wonderment.
"Derek?" she said amazement
Improbable by Agent Addek
The moonlight was beaming over the endless deep ocean. The stars were twinkling like drops of diamonds in the sky. The ocean waves were ferociously crashing up against the shore. There could have been an earthquake at that moment and still they would be entranced by the other's presence. In this very moment in time nothing else mattered, no broken promises, no hurtful actions, and no shattered hearts. There was no room to remember that. In this moment they were lost in the echos of who they used to be, in this moment they were Derek and Addison again.
Addison and Derek stood face to face for what seemed like an eternity. Addison felt her her heart racing, she felt this pull towards Derek. All she wanted at this instant was to be kissed and held by him again she didn't know why, and she couldn't help it. Derek wanted to feel her, he wanted to take her his arms, when he saw the vulnerability in Addison's eyes, he decided to take a chance.
He reached out to touch her face because he knew that if he could feel her then this was real, this was not a figment of his imagination. This was fate yet again bringing him to Addison. He smiled at her when he saw her shiver as soon as his hand made contact with her cheek. She leaned into the palm of his hand and put hers over his. They stood in front of each other, drinking in the moment. She lifted up her hand to Derek's face, mimicking what he had just done. She searched his eyes, those eyes that always had the ability to melt her heart, they seemed so different now.
He took this moment to lean in to kiss her. At first it was a light peck on the lips, he didn't want to scare her...but when she didn't flinch, he began kissing her more passionately. He let go of her face and pulled her closer to him. Addison wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with the same Intensity. They continued to kiss, neither wanting to stop to breathe, neither wanting to break the spell they were under. They were so caught up in the moment that neither had noticed that they had a captive audience.
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Naomi had broken many traffic rules trying to get to her friend's house. She knew that Addie needed her, she knew that Derek being here was only gonna open up old wounds that had barely healed. She drove up to Addison's driveway and quickly exited the car and walked to the front door. She rang the door bell twice but then remembered that Addison said she would be on the back deck. Naomi fished out the key that Addison had given her and opened the door. She placed her purse and keys on the coffee table and quickly walked to the back. When she looked out through the glass doors she was instantly shocked still.
"Oh my God!" Naomi said as she clasped a hand over her mouth. She stood behind the doors watching the scene transpire before her. Naomi was completely stunned.
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Addison could feel Derek's hands up and down her back as he pulled her to him. It felt amazing being in his arms again. Feeling the touch of his lips on hers, feeling his tongue exploring her mouth once again, and his smell. Wow!...his smell was overwhelming her senses. Addison kept trying to match his fervor...it felt so amazing having him want her this way again.
Derek was completely intoxicated with the taste of Addison. Having access to her like this again was beyond anything he could have imagined. The way she fit so perfectly in his arms, it was like they had been made specifically to hold her. And her scent, GOD, how he had missed her sweet smell... a mix of citrus and vanilla. He kept pulling her closer to him, wanting to feel her fully pressed up against him. He was the first to break this exploration of each other.
"Addison, I've missed you so much!!" He dipped in again to kiss her. "You don't know how long I've been thinking about this with you again." He gave her a loving lopsided smile.
Addison was quiet, it was like she was coming out of a haze once he stopped kissing her. Why did this man always have the ability to make her lose all rationality? Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, she had just allowed Derek to kiss her!, and not only that, but she had kissed him back! She had kissed him back with passionate abandon. She hadn't even thought of what she was doing to herself, nor what signal this was sending to Derek, and she certainly hadn't been thinking of Pete either. She wanted to move away but she was glued to her current position.
Derek noticed the array of emotions that were dancing across her face. He tried to placate her by pulling her to him again but this time she stiffened. He looked at her, confused for a moment but then he realized that she was now looking at him with an expression that he could only describe as a mixture of regret and mortification. He reached out for her again, hoping that he had not read the situation correctly but to his dismay she pulled away with more force this time. He looked up to meet her gaze, the very gaze that was now burning a hole into his soul.
"Derek stop!" Addison insisted as she pulled away. "I don't know what I was thinking?" She said more to herself than to him, as she paced in front of him.
"Addie?" He questioned, trying to get her attention once more.
"Derek please just stop, Please." Addison begged. "What were you thinking?! Do you think you can just come to my home and plant one on me?!" she said angrily.
"Addison, I'm sorry. I..." Derek attempted to explain but the sudden slap of Addison's hand across his face stopped him. He was shocked into silence.
"I can't even believe you kissed me Derek! I can't believe you think you have the right to do that!" She said in livid tone as she folded her arms in a defensive stance.
Derek was still taken a back by the slap she had just squared against his jaw. What was going on today with him getting punched and slapped around? He rubbed his jaw, trying to soothe some of the sting out, before he spoke. "Addison, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry, I got carried away in the moment. Please believe me that I would never intentionally force myself on you." He paused for a moment when he realized what he had just said, he saw a flicker of recollection in Addison's eyes but just as quickly as it was there it was gone. "I'm really sorry Addie. I'll just... I'll go. I'm sorry." Derek turned to walk away.
"Derek, Derek wait." Addison said with desperation.
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Naomi was making her way out door. She couldn't stand there and watch her friend throw away the life she had made for herself here. She had to go knock some sense into that girl.
As soon as she started to walk towards them she saw Addison pull away from Derek. "Derek stop!" she heard Addie say. Naomi smiled, 'There's my girl', she thought to herself. As she turned to walk back into the house though, she overheard Addison call out to Derek again, "Derek, Derek wait."
'Oh Shit!' Naomi thought to herself. She turned back to face the divorced couple. She didn't know if she should interrupt or not? Then thought better of it and just waited for the scene to unfold. Naomi knew this was not going to end well.
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Derek stopped in his tracks. He turned to look at her, she was looking at him with such sincerity and remorse.
"I'm sorry Derek, I shouldn't have slapped you. It was completely uncalled for. You may have pursued the kiss but I kissed you back and I didn't stop you." She tucked back a strand of stray hair behind her ear and looked down. "I apologize for that, this shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't have allowed it."
"Addison, you have nothing to apologize for... I was completely out of line. It was extremely forward and presumptuous of me. I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong. I would have slapped me too." he said, trying to lighten the mood.
Addison smiled a bit and then stared him in the eye, she was certain that he was being sincere.
"Look Derek, when I saw you earlier today I was extremely shocked that you were here in Los Angeles. I know you said you wanted to talk, and I think that's a good idea.. for us to talk." she said stammered.
"Thank you Addie for accepting, I know you don't have to, but I really appreciate you wanting to." he said thankfully. "So when would you like to meet? I'll probably be here for two weeks, so please just let me know when it would be a good time for you?" he asked.
Addison raised an eyebrow at his mention of him staying for two weeks but chose to ask him more about it later when they met. She briefly considered having him come over to her house, but then decided against it. A public place is the best for meeting him, she didn't want to have another moment like she had just shared with him. For some reason she knew she couldn't trust herself to be alone with him.
"Okay, how about we meet tomorrow for brunch? I know this great place by the pier. Actually where are you staying? Maybe I should come to you since you don't know the area that well." Addison offered.
"I'm staying near the beach at the ah... The Huntley Hotel. I think it's on 2nd Street and Wilshire." Derek replied.
"Oh that's perfect. Actually you're not too far from The Ivy...you're within walking distance. All you do is take Wilshire towards the beach and then make a left and the restaurant is about two blocks down. Do you want to meet me there around 11:30ish?" she asked.
"Sounds good to me. Oh, is there a number I can call you just in case?" Derek asked.
Addison hesitated for a moment, "Ahh.. yeah umm...do you have something to write with?"
Derek smiled and pulled out his cellphone, wiggling it in front of Addison.
"Okay, it's ah..310 ah.. 223 uhh.. 1013, that's my new cell number." she said quickly.
Derek typed the number into his blackberry. They stood in silence for a bit. Addison kept trying to avoid making eye contact with him so she kept staring at the ocean. He kept trying to say something funny to break some of the tension between them. He couldn't think of anything so he just said, "I guess I should let you get back to what you were doing...I'll see you tomorrow then."
He really wanted to lean in and kiss her goodnight but knew that he couldn't...what should he do? Addison could tell he didn't know what to do, so she did the only thing she could think of...she leaned in to give him a quick hug. Derek was taken aback by her kind gesture but quickly reciprocated.
"Good night Addison." He said as he pulled her a little closer to his chest than he should have.
"Good night Derek." She said as she fought the feelings that were starting to overtake her again. Addison abruptly pulled away. Derek just smiled and turned to walk away. She looked after him even more confused than she had been earlier. She turned to walk back to her house and was met with the sight of Naomi. 'Shit!!'
"Nai" Addison said hesitantly.
"Addison" Naomi replied sternly.
"How long have you been standing there?" Addison asked.
"Since the kiss." Naomi said matter-of-factly.
"Nai, it wasn't what it looked like, I swear." Addison tried to explain as she walked past Naomi into her home.
Naomi followed close behind her. "Then what was it Addison? Why is it that when I walked out to the back I saw you in your ex-husband's arms?, and to top it off you were kissing. So what was it Addison?" Naomi said sarcastically.
"I know what it must have looked like, but I don't know what happened...and when I realized what was going on, I stopped it. Did you see that?" Addison said exasperated.
Naomi noticed that her friend was beginning to get a bit frazzled again, so she decided not to push her too much. She didn't want to stress her out anymore than she already was.
"I'm sorry, it's none of my business and I shouldn't have come at you like that. I'm just worried about you Addie." Naomi said with concern.
"I know, I know you are. I have no idea what came over me! It was like I had no control over my actions! I was completely lost in Derek and our kiss, but when he stopped kissing me it was like the rational part of my brain started to function again and I pushed him away Nai. I pushed him away because I couldn't believe that I had allowed that to happen! I couldn't believe I was doing that to Pete!" Addison said with sincerity, hoping that her friend would believe her.
"I did see you stop him. I even saw you slap him." Naomi said with a chuckle.
"Oh my God! I can't believe I did that" Addison chuckled as well "He wanted to pull me back into a kiss, so I just reacted on instinct." Addison said still embarrassed.
They grew silent. Naomi wanted to know exactly what was going on with Addison and Derek, but she didn't want to make Addie feel uncomfortable.
"So what was he doing here?, I mean how did he know where you lived?" Naomi asked curiously
"He was over at Sam's, he didn't actually know I lived next door, Sam didn't tell him. He saw me outside. He was a bit shocked at first, then walked over to me." Addison replied.
"I am so kicking Sam's ass for even bringing him over, especially after knowing what he put you through. I can't believe it didn't cross his mind that it was a bad idea." Naomi said a bit upset.
"It's okay Nai, Sam and Derek were friends before, I get it, they wanted to catchup. It's not Sam's fault you know...besides you were friends with him too." Addison said understandingly.
"I know, I just...I can't stand what he put you through Addison. You're my best friend, no one can treat you like that and get away with it, not even Derek!" Naomi said defiantly.
"So, are you gonna tell me what I really walked in on?, or do I have to beat it out of you?" Naomi said playfully.
"Honestly, I don't know what to tell you Nai, it was like a magnetic pull. I just couldn't stop myself." Addison said bewilderedly.
"So what made you pull away?" Naomi asked.
"Well, Pete mainly...I couldn't do that to him, he's been so good to me." Addison said with remorse.
"But you wanted Derek to kiss you didn't you?" Naomi said more as more of a statement than a question. She knew her friend well enough to know the truth.
"Naomi, I was married to Derek for almost 12 years, I knew him for 3 years prior to that, so he was part of 15 years of my life. No matter how hard I try, a part of me will always love him... a part of me will always want him, and a part of me will always think 'what if?' All those feelings don't just go away just because we ended our marriage, just because I moved to another state. They won't go away just because I have finally been able to move on." Addison stated genuinely.
"I know all those things don't go away. Hell, I even understand those feelings because I've felt the same with Sam to some extent, but you can't let him do this to you again. You've managed to put yourself together again, you are in a relationship with a man who adores you, who would sooner hurt himself than hurt you. Please Addie, don't do this to yourself, don't do this to Pete." Naomi pleaded with her friend.
"I'm not Nai, Derek is my past, I know that. Pete knows that and so does Derek. I just need closure, real closure, and I think Derek does too. Our divorce happened so quickly and I know he didn't mourn the end of our relationship, and I sort of did but not really because I was too busy putting up a front. I mean the closest I got to closure was when I spoke to you all those months ago, but I never got it from him. I need that. So don't worry, I just want to talk to him and put this behind me." Addison said reassuringly.
"I know you really want to believe that Addison, I know you do, but I also know you, and I know Derek." Naomi began but Addison interrupted her.
"What do you mean?" Addison demanded with defensive confusion.
"You're Addison and Derek." Naomi simply stated.
Addison pondered her friend's statement. It use to hold some truth to it. No one ever really worried about them working this out, they just expected them too, because they were Addison and Derek, things just lined up for them in the end.Things were different now, at least she thought they were. She was in love with Pete, or least she felt that she was falling for him.
The women were so enthralled in their conversation that they didn't hear the car pulling up into the driveway, they didn't hear the car door slamming, they didn't hear the door being jiggled, and they didn't hear the footsteps behind them.
"We're not Addison and Derek anymore, that's my past. Pete and LA are my future now. So don't worry about me or Pete, Nai, we're fine, we're better than fine." Addison said confidently as she reached to hold her concerned friend's hand. "I need to ask you a favor though, could we please not tell Pete about this?" Addison suggested as she heard a voice behind her which startled her completely.
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"Don't tell Pete about what?" Pete asked cautiously.
Addison and Naomi were both surprised.
How long had he been standing there? What did he hear? Oh my God. Shit! All these thoughts were racing through Addison's head. She didn't want to lie but she felt that she had no choice.
"Ummm...I sort of felt dizzy again and I didn't want Naomi to tell you because I know how it scared you earlier today." Addison said quickly. Pete instantly put the bags of food he was carrying down and rushed over to her.
"Are you okay? Do you need me to take you to the hospital to get you checked out?" he said with honest concern.
Addison felt horrible for making him worry like that again, but this was better than telling him the truth. He would probably be threatened more by Derek and there was no need for that because there wasn't anything going on between her and Derek.
"No I'm fine, really. Naomi checked me out and I think it's just the lack of food, but you brought dinner so after I eat I should feel much better." Addison said soothingly to Pete.
Naomi eyed Addison, not happy with the lie she had just told Pete, but decided to go along with it.
"I assure you she's fine Pete. Just make sure to feed our girl and she will be 100 again. Besides, she's taking the day off tomorrow to rest. Right Addie?" Naomi said sardonically.
Pete was visibly relieved as he gave Addie a hug.
"That sounds like a good idea. You're right, some nourishment and a little down time is definitely in order."
"Well I think it's time for me to go. I don't want your dinner to get cold so I'll see you at the office tomorrow Pete." Naomi gathered her things, while Pete reclaimed the bags of food before walking towards the kitchen to ready their dinner.
Naomi then linked her arm through Addison's and they walked to the front door.
"Call me tomorrow and let me know how your "meeting" went." Naomi whispered.
"I will. Thank you so much for coming over Nai." Addison hugged her friend goodbye. "I love you."
"Love you too. Now go eat, get some rest, and I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight."
Naomi exited and walked towards her car.
"Goodnight, drive safe." Addison called out to her.
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"Thank you so much for dropping me off Sam. I'm really glad we did this." Derek said appreciatively.
"It was really good catching up with you Derek. Just think about what I said okay? Oh and I'll get you that number for Dr. Boone, he's also a really sought after holistic doctor." Sam said.
"Yeah I almost forgot about that, that would really help since I'm staying for two weeks and I won't be seeing your quack after what happened." Derek chuckled.
"Good choice. I think it would be a conflict of interest if you wanted to continue to see Pete." Sam said as he laughed along with Derek.
"Well, I really hope that we can hang out while I'm here. So I'll call you...maybe we can go shoot pool somewhere." Derek suggested as he stepped out of the car.
"That sounds like a plan. See you later Derek." Sam replied.
Sam drove off and Derek stood outside his hotel for a moment. Tomorrow he would finally get to speak with Addison, he had so much to tell her, so much to apologize for.
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"Are you feeling better now that you've eaten?" Pete asked, still concerned with Addison's well being.
"I do actually, thank you." Addison replied genuinely. "Hey babe, I'm gonna go upstairs and get ready for bed, okay?" Addison said as she headed towards the stairs.
"Addie, I thought we were gonna talk about what happened today?" Pete called after her.
Addison stopped midway up the stairs. "I'm just really exhausted right now, can we just talk about this another day? I promise I will tell you whatever you want to know, just not tonight, okay?" Addison pleaded.
"Okay baby, I'm just gonna finish putting away the dishes and I'll be up in a bit." Pete replied.
Addison walked into the bathroom and immediately closed and locked the door. She wanted to make sure that she would have some privacy for a bit. She couldn't stop thinking about the kiss she had shared with Derek a few hours ago. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' she kept thinking to herself. Poor Pete, he was trying to be so understanding...she felt awful for lying to him. Not only that but she wasn't going to tell him she was meeting Derek tomorrow. Why was she hiding that from Pete? She leaned over the sink and splashed some cold water onto her face. She looked up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and was surprised to see the face staring back at her. It was the Addison she thought had disappeared a few years ago. She shook her head, trying to get rid of the image she had just seen, that Addison was gone. That was the Addison that would do anything to be with Derek, and she was no longer that Addison. Her inner twisted turmoil was suddenly interrupted.
"Addison? Addison are you okay?" Pete asked as he knocked on the bathroom door.
"Yeah I'm fine babe, I'm just changing. I'll be out in a minute." she replied. She quickly took off her sweater and dress, then reached for her night gown.
"Okay baby." he said as he walked over to the bed. Pete stripped down to his boxers and started to pull back the covers on the bed. He slipped in and waited for Addison to join him.
Addison took one last look in the mirror, took a deep breath and exhaled. She had to stop thinking of her ex-husband, she just had to. There was a very gorgeous man waiting for her outside. She turned off the lights and exited, then went over to the bed. Pete was already lying down, as she got in under the covers and turned off the light on the night stand, Addison could feel Pete scooting closer to her, he slipped his hand over hips and started to pull her next to him. She stopped him with her hand.
"Goodnight Pete" Addison said, hoping he would get the hint.
Pete tensed up a bit. All he wanted to do was hold her but she wasn't even allowing him that, and to top it off she was turned away from him. Usually she would face him and sleep in the crook of his arm, they had been doing that for a while now, even before they made love. Something was wrong, and he knew it had to do with her ex-husband.
"Goodnight Addie." Pete replied.
She pulled away even more to the point were they didn't have any body contact. Addison hoped he would understand that she was just really tired and didn't want to be held right now. She closed her eyes hoping to fall asleep soon.
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Addison had arrived at The Ivy about 10 minutes before she and Derek were supposed to meet. She wanted to get some coffee in her since she didn't really sleep. Everything was on replay in her brain and she just couldn't fall asleep. She knew that Pete probably got about as much sleep as she had. Addison had felt him tense up when she stopped him from wrapping his hand around her, she knew that she had given him cause for concern but it would all be over soon. All she had to do was talk to Derek, say her peace and everything would just go back to normal.
Derek was walking as fast as he could towards the pier, he was running late, and to top it off he wasn't feeling too good. He woke up this morning with a bit of tightness in his chest. He was having a little trouble breathing, but he did some of the breathing exercises he was told to do and it helped him somewhat. However, he still felt odd. He was all sweaty and felt a bit cold and the faster he walked to get to his destination, the more out of breath he felt. He had to calm down. 'Breathe Derek, breathe' he thought to himself. He saw the restaurant and walked in towards the hostess who looked at him with concern.
"Are you okay sir?" she asked.
'Great!' Derek thought, I must look like shit. "I'm okay, thank you for asking. I'm actually meeting a friend here, I believe under the name Montgomery." Derek stated.
"Montgomery, hmmmmm...let's see, oh yes, right this way sir." the hostess said as she guided him to the outside patio.
Derek felt the tightness in his chest again, but this time the pain seared through him and he gripped his chest. 'Breathe Derek, Just Breathe!' he kept thinking to himself. I don't want to freak Addison out.
Addison noticed Derek entering the patio, she waved him over but something was wrong. He looked pale and he had his hand on his chest, he didn't look good. She quickly stood up as he came up to her.
"Derek are you okay?" Addison said with obvious concern.
"Yeah, I'm ahhh.. I'm good Addie." Derek said breathlessly. Suddenly another shooting pain went through his chest and he couldn't breathe. His knees buckled and he fell towards the ground but Addison caught his arm before he fell completely.
"Derek!" Addison yelled. "Derek what's going on?! Derek talk to me!"
"Addie, my chest, I can't ah... it's hard to breathe." he managed.
"Derek! Oh my god! Okay, don't talk Derek...I'm gonna get help."
Fellow patrons had started to gather around them, some of the waiters had made their way through the small crowd. "Someone call 9-1-1. Derek stay with me." Addison was beyond panic. "Derek can you hear me? Derek it's gonna be okay, help is on the way. Derek?!"