A/N: So here you go, the Stefan/Elena conversation. I wrote most of this in a somewhat hazy, sleep-deprived state, so please be gentle with me. I would love to hear what you think, though. Nothing gets my creative juices flowing like reading everyone's predictions and praise and criticism.
Disclaimer: I don't own TVD or any of the characters and the direct quotes I'm using are from the eternal genius Paul Auster's book "The Book of Illusions"
FORGIVENESS
"We're all victims of something, Mr. Effing. If only of the fact that we're alive."
– Paul Auster, "Moon Palace"
"Guess what we're doing tonight," Caroline said cheerily while plonking down next to Bonnie and Elena who had already taken their seats at their usual lunch table by the cafeteria windows.
"Well, I don't know what you're doing, but I'm going on a picnic with Jeremy by the falls," Bonnie replied with a wide grin that made Elena feel instantly happy both for her friend and her brother. They both deserved to wear wide grins just like that one, permanently if possible.
"Wrong," Caroline returned dismissively. "We're going dress shopping at the mall!" She looked incredibly excited, while Bonnie only rolled her eyes.
"Why do you want to go dress shopping?" Elena asked, confused.
"For the dance, duh!" Caroline explained dismissively.
"But that's not for weeks," Elena protested.
"When have I ever needed only one trip to the mall to find a dress?" Caroline questioned as if that were a valid argument.
Elena shrugged in acceptance. It was true. As far as she could remember, they always needed at least three trips to the mall before Caroline could decide on a dress, no matter what the occasion or how much time they had.
"Well I'm sorry but I'm not going," Bonnie said with finality.
"Fine. Who wants to go shopping with boring, old, married people anyways," Caroline stated in annoyance before turning to Elena. "Just us fabulous girls then," she said with a once again elated smile.
"I can't go either. I'm going to see Stefan," Elena said, not sure she was happy about having to reveal her plans.
"You're going to see Stefan?" Bonnie asked surprised. "I thought you said you weren't ready."
Elena cringed. She didn't want to lie to her friends, but she didn't really want to give them all the details either, having a pretty good idea of how they would react. "I'm kind of doing it as a favor to Damon," she explained in an insecure voice.
Her friends just stared at her for a second, unable to react right away. "I'm gonna need more information than that," Bonnie finally said.
"I know it seems weird. But he's his brother and he can't go see him himself. And I think it might help me. Get some answers, you know?" Elena explained, hoping that this would satisfy the two girls staring at her incredulously. Bonnie nodded hesitantly, obviously unsure whether her friend was making the right choice, but wanting to support her regardless. Caroline was a different story.
"Wait wait wait," she called out. "So what you're telling us is that you're going to see the guy who tried to kill you, as a favor to the guy who almost raped me!"
"He didn't almost rape you," Elena argued tiredly, regretting the comment right away. It didn't really matter how far he had wanted to go, did it? Her friend had been treated horribly and hurt regardless. "I'm sorry," Elena tried to smooth over. "I didn't mean…"
"Are you kidding me right now, Elena?" her friend shrieked and jumped out of her seat.
Elena looked pleadingly up at her friend. "I'm sorry, Car. You know that's not…"
"Shut it," the blonde returned harshly before turning on her heel and stomping off.
Elena dropped her eyes in defeat before looking up at Bonnie uncertainly. Her friend returned her look with a mixture of confusion and concern. "I didn't mean it like that," Elena said sadly.
"I know," Bonnie allowed. "But you still said it." Elena only nodded, staring at her plate. "Elena?" she looked back up into her friend's worried eyes. "Are you falling for him?"
Elena heaved a heavy sigh. "It's not like that," she tried, not sure how to explain her situation so it would make sense to her friend. "That's not what it's about, I mean." Bonnie looked at her with confusion but also with honest interest in her eyes. "It's just that he was there. When it happened. Right now I'm the girl that was almost killed by her boyfriend." Bonnie lowered her eyes uncomfortably. "But to him, I'm the girl who was there when he was almost killed by his brother. And I… at least I have you. And Caroline. And Jenna and Jeremy. But he has no one. That brother that tried to kill him, he's also the one person that he cares about most."
"He tried to get him thrown into jail," Bonnie interjected in an incredulous tone.
Elena sighed quickly. "I know…" She didn't know what else to say. "They both have issues," she tried.
"You can say that again," Bonnie agreed emphatically.
"But it's not them. Well it's not Damon at least. Not really. He's impulsive and passionate. He doesn't deal with problems well."
"Elena, are you sure you're not just making excuses?" Bonnie asked apprehensively.
"Sounds like it, doesn't it?" Elena asked, to which Bonnie only nodded. "But no, I've seen a different side to him. It's there. He just doesn't let it show very often. But when he does, he's amazing."
"You're totally falling for him," Bonnie teased, making Elena smile, thankful that her friend was trying to lift the mood.
"Such restrictive terms," Elena chided playfully. "I'm growing fond of him, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less."
"You're full of shit is what you are," Bonnie continued with a grin.
"Oh please, you're the one corrupting my baby brother," Elena pulled out her last defenses.
"Touché," Bonnie conceded. "And because you've been such a stellar friend about it, I won't hassle you about Damon."
"Thank you," Elena said, relieved.
"But be careful, that's all I'm saying. If you don't feel ready to see Stefan you don't have to, just because a heartthrob with a broken leg wants you to." Bonnie sounded serious again, but warm and Elena was glad she had a friend like her.
"Don't worry," she reassured her friend. "This is not about pleasing Damon, it's about doing what I think is the right thing to do."
Bonnie smiled at her and nodded. "Then you should totally do it. I'll even give you a ride."
"You're just offering that so you can feel less guilty about going to see Jer afterwards," Elena teased. "But I'll take it anyways. Thanks."
She was in a hospital hallway again, but this one she didn't know. A nurse had shown her the way and now she was approaching the room number she was looking for. A man in uniform was sitting outside the door, reading a newspaper and looking up at her expectantly.
"Uhm, I'm Elena Gilbert," she explained, making it sound more like a question than a statement. "I'm here to see Stefan Salvatore. Sheriff Forbes said it was okay."
The man looked at a notepad lying next to his chair and apparently found information regarding her on it, because next he nodded at her and got up to open the door. Suddenly it all went so quickly. Elena had walked down the hallway, wanting to get to the dreaded room, but once there, she felt the need to collect her thoughts, to conjure up some courage, to just take a deep breath. But no such luck. The minute the officer had been satisfied with the information she had provided, his hand was already on the doorknob, turning it and pushing the door open.
"Salvatore, Miss Gilbert here to see you," he barked into the room and then looked at her expectantly, obviously wanting her to go into the room quickly so he could get back to his paper. Hesitantly, she stepped into the room and heard the door close behind her instantly. And then she was standing before him. He was in bed, sitting upright against a pillow, holding a book in his right hand and being cuffed to the bed with his left. She could see a few scratches in his face, probably from broken glass cutting him during the accident, other than that he looked healthy. And happy. A wide smile appeared on his face as soon as he saw her.
"Elena! I wasn't sure you'd come." He closed the book without bothering to mark the page and put it on the nightstand next to his bed.
"I wasn't either," she replied, hesitantly, staying where she was, not wanting to get closer to him.
"Come, sit," he pointed to a chair next to his bed and reluctantly she followed his invitation. "I can't believe you came, Elena. I'm so glad! And so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"I'm sorry, too," Elena replied in a small voice.
"No, don't say that. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I've forgiven you. I'm just praying you can forgive me, too."
Elena swallowed. He had forgiven her? For what? For letting him lie to her? For letting him use her as a replacement? For almost dying? She suppressed her anger. "I'm not apologizing because I feel guilty," she clarified. "I just feel sorry that everything turned into such a mess."
"I know," he agreed. "I'm the one who should feel guilty. And I do. I feel horrible! I was so worried about you. And so glad when they told me you were okay. How are you?"
"I'm okay," she replied. "I broke my leg, so I have to walk on crutches. But other than that I'm fine. Damon turned the car so that he was the one who was directly hit. He's doing much worse than me."
"I'm so glad to hear that," he sighed in relief. "I couldn't have lived with myself if you had been badly hurt. Or worse," he continued.
She knew he probably hadn't processed the information she had given him regarding Damon properly, but his reaction didn't sit well with her regardless. "You hurt Damon badly," she reverted to the point she had already wanted to make before but which had been not so subtly ignored by him.
He looked down at his hands. "How is he?" he asked curtly.
"Not well," she replied, glad that he showed an interest. "He broke and arm and a leg, a few ribs too. He can't see right now. They hope he will regain his eyesight but they can't be certain." She looked at him attentively, wondering what his reaction would be. She hadn't really expected anything in particular, but what she got hadn't even crossed her mind.
"Elena," he began slowly, looking down at his hands and then gradually lifting his eyes to meet hers. "I'm really sorry for what I did to you. I am. I'm seeing a therapist, because I know something has to be wrong with me if I'm able to do something that could hurt you. I'm pleading guilty, because I feel guilty! Seeing you in pain hurts me more than any of my injuries ever could. And I've forgiven you, for going away with him, because I understand. It was my own fault. I should have been upfront with you from the very beginning, but I was so afraid you would misinterpret and that I might lose you. I didn't think he would stoop so low as to use Katherine to get to you. And I know you bonded with him. I know he can be persuasive and charming and I bet he laid it all on you. And I'm not blaming you 'cause God knows you haven't been the first girl who was blinded by his act. But Elena, you can't let him continue to poison you with his lies. You have to see what he did. He tried to take you away from me! As he has taken everything from me. He deserves this."
Elena blinked, unable to process what was happening. She was shocked by what Stefan said, but also by his harsh tone and his cold eyes. She had always thought he had gentle, soulful eyes, but right now two fiery pits of ice were staring at her and while she would have understood pain, would have been able to accept anger, what she thought she saw was hate and it took her breath away. She stared at him with wide eyes.
"You don't mean that," she whispered, unable to get her voice under control.
"Stop being so naïve," he almost yelled. "Why is it always the same with you women? He smiles at you and you'll believe anything he tells you. He's not a good person, Elena. He's selfish and cruel and malicious."
"He's trying to save you," she protested in anger, standing up abruptly. "He asked me to come here so that I could tell you not to plead guilty. He's the one who doesn't want you to go to jail."
"You're here because of him?" Stefan asked sounding hurt and almost disgusted at the same time.
Elena sighed, defeated. This was not how she had seen this go. She couldn't listen to Stefan badmouthing Damon anymore, but she felt like arguing with him was only making the situation worse. "He wants you to call your father to get a lawyer," she said, all the fight gone from her. Now, she only wanted to leave.
"I don't have a father anymore, thanks to him," Stefan spat back, leaving Elena speechless once more. He must have interpreted the startled look on her face correctly. "Didn't tell you that, your prince charming, did he? I'm sure he can figure out a way to make it sound sweet, the way he took my parents from me and then Katherine, too."
Elena didn't know what to say. "I…" she struggled to produce words at all. "I thought you were all happy together."
"Is that what he told you?" Stefan snorted.
"It's what Charlotte told me," Elena replied, almost mechanically. That seemed to sober Stefan up. His forehead smoothed out, his eyes lost the deadly stare, his jaw relaxed slightly.
"Charlotte didn't see everything," he explained noncommittally. Then he turned his eyes up to her, filled with sadness now. "What happened to us, Elena? We were so good."
"You lied to me," she said quietly, having a whole list of other things that had gone wrong but not knowing where to start.
"I was going to tell you," Stefan said, calm now. "When the time was right. But Damon messed everything up."
"I found the picture when I paid for the pizza," Elena explained. "Damon being there was a coincidence. He actually came to talk to you."
"He changed you," Stefan argued, seemingly not paying attention to what she was saying.
Elena shook her head. "Finding out my mom was not my mom and that I had a sister changed me. And being lied to and almost killed by my boyfriend changed me." He bowed his head in shame. "Being looked at strangely by my friends has changed me. Maybe Damon has changed me, too. But if he has, it was for the better. He is actually one of the few good things in my life right now, while you seem to be all the bad." She knew that she sounded harsh, but she had to make him understand what he had done to her.
"Don't say that," he said, blinking back tears. "I love you."
"I don't think you even know me very well," she returned, shaking her head slightly.
"I know everything I need to know. I know you're hurting because you lost someone but you never give up and I know you fight for the people you care about, whether they deserve it or not, and I know you have the most beautiful smile. Please, give me a chance so I can get to know everything else. I want to know you entirely. Please let me."
"I can't, Stefan. It can never be like it was before," she said almost pleadingly, needing him to understand that they had no future together.
"Because of him?" he asked harshly. "Are you so stupid to want to be with him instead?"
"I'm not with him, Stefan," she felt like screaming. "This has nothing to do with him. Me not wanting to be with you is entirely separate from my even knowing him."
"You're lying to yourself, Elena. You wouldn't throw away what we have if you didn't think he could make you happy."
"We don't have anything," she shouted in exasperation. "All we had were lies and illusions and deceit. You don't know the first thing about me and I sure as hell have no idea who you are!"
"You said you loved me," he said accusingly.
"I may have thought I did. But I was wrong." She had no mercy left for him. "You are the one who is lying to himself, Stefan. You still want Katherine. You don't want me."
"And you think Damon wants you?" he asked accusingly. "He's the one who's so obsessed with her he's still punishing me for her accident a year later."
"I know he doesn't want me," she replied calmly. "But you're wrong. He does want you in his life. He understands now. He wants to talk to you about everything…"
"Stop it, Elena." He sounded furious again. "I don't want to hear it anymore. Just… go."
"He's your brother, Stefan," Elena tried to make one last attempt.
"I've clung to that for too long, Elena. It doesn't mean anything anymore." He sounded sad at the thought but no less certain of it.
"Well, then I'm sorry for both of you," Elena said, already turning towards the door. "Cause there you have someone who actually knows you and loves you – probably the only one in the world right now – and you push him away."
"He doesn't know what love is, Elena. He has all these noble ideas and grand thoughts but it's only because he doesn't really understand. He has never experienced that, to just know that you are meant to be with someone. To know that you belong. To your parents, to your friends, to your girlfriend. He has this magnificent vision of what love is like. But it couldn't be further from the truth. He may think he loved Katherine, but he didn't love her like I did. And he may say he loves me, but he just wouldn't know what to do without me."
"That is the saddest thing I've ever heard," Elena breathed, tears welling up in her eyes.
"It's the truth. It may not be his fault that he is the way he is, but I won't condone it anymore. I'm done with him."
"I should go," she said quietly. "And you should call your father." Without another word, she turned around and left the room as quickly as the crutches would allow her. To her relief he didn't try to say anything else or stop her. As soon as the door clicked shut behind her, she let a sob escape. She was only glad she had been able to keep it in until she was out of the room.
"Are you okay, Miss?" the officer asked, looking up at her with concern in his eyes.
"I'm fine, thanks," she reassured him in a shaky voice.
"He will be well again in no time," he tried to comfort her. Elena felt like laughing, crying and throwing up all at the same time so before she would break down and do either, she simply nodded and laboriously made her way down the corridor. When she reached a hallway bathroom she silently thanked God and almost fell through the door. She locked herself in one of the stalls and, unable to bend her leg enough to sit down, she slumped against a corner and let the tears finally fall. Hot streams were running down her cheeks and her breaths came out in gasps and whimpers. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, unable to control her own body, but it felt like forever. When she was finally able to retain her tears and breathe steadily, she let herself out of the enclosure and splashed herself with cold water from the sink. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and shook her head. What a pitiable sight she was, all puffy eyed and red-faced with speckles on her cheeks. At least the person she was about to see wouldn't be able to tell.
The door made a slight swooshing sound as it was pushed open. It was an odd hour for a visitor, lunch had already been served and it wasn't time for dinner yet. When he heard the rubber hit the floor however, he knew immediately who it was.
"Elena?" she heard Damon's voice, before she had even said a word.
"Hi," she said meekly. He heard the difference to her usually energetic voice right away.
"What's wrong?" he asked, getting even more nervous when she didn't give him an answer but simply shuffled slowly towards the bed. "Did you go see Stefan?" He could tell that she was standing a few feet from his bed now. Not being able to see her, not being able to make out where she was exactly, how she looked, not being able to see in her face how she felt, was driving him mad.
"Yes," she said, sounding tired and sad.
"How did it go?" he asked, already pretty sure what her answer would be.
"Not well," she replied, not really to his surprise.
"What happened?" she could hear the concern lacing his voice. And when she didn't answer right away, he pushed himself up carefully and scooted over to make room for her.
To his relief, she accepted the unspoken invitation without hesitation. But instead of sitting down at the foot-end of his bed, like she usually did, she climbed in next to him and soon he felt the warmth of her body push up against his, the cast around her left leg lightly pressing against his right leg, her hair tickling his arm until her cheek came to rest on his shoulder, one arm tucked in between their bodies, the other however, suddenly slung around his torso, pulling ever so slightly, as if to hold him fast against her. "Can you just hold me for a second?" she asked. And she sounded so frail.
"Sure," he murmured while closing his arm around her and letting his fingertips rest on her upper arm. His other arm was not as mobile, but he lifted it slightly so that he could rub his thumb across her wrist in what he hoped was a comforting manner. They just lay there for a few minutes and he did want to give her all the time she needed, but having heard the pain in her voice had made it difficult for him to accept not knowing what was bothering her. He couldn't begin to imagine what Stefan had sad to her to put her in such a state, unless she still loved him and being confronted again with the horrible situation they were in had opened up old wounds.
"What happened?" he asked again, his voice soft, so soft, almost as soft as his fingertips that were caressing her skin.
"He's not well," she said, feeling the tears choking her again. "I don't think it's such a good idea to encourage him to change his plea." She felt Damon stiffen next to her. "He needs help, Damon."
"What did he say?" he asked and she heard the apprehension in his voice.
"A lot of things. It doesn't matter." Elena didn't think she was able to repeat any part of her conversation with Stefan just yet. She knew Damon didn't feel he could just leave it at that. She could feel it in the uneasiness that was suddenly rolling off of him in waves. But for some reason he didn't ask. Maybe he was able to tell that she couldn't have this particular discussion right now. "What happened with your parents?" she finally asked. She was aware of the fact, that she had to sound half insane herself, but her brain was only capable of so much and ever since Stefan's remark about Damon taking his parents away from him, this question had blocked many other thoughts and therefore she felt she had to get it out.
"My parents?" He sounded every bit as surprised as she had predicted he would. She only nodded against his shoulder. She knew this probably wasn't a topic he wanted to discuss, but she was too tired to not try. When he sighed, she knew he would give her an answer. "That is not a fun story." She could already make out the hurt and the defeat in his voice. She let her thumb stroke his chest carefully, where her hand was resting on his white shirt. It was a small gesture, but she hoped he would think it was encouraging.
"My mom is dead," he began. "She had cancer. Died a few years ago, just before I met Katherine." He took a deep breath. Elena could tell it was hard for him. "She was sick almost my entire teenage years. She'd be in remission and then it would come back. I didn't deal well with it. I loved her and she was the one person who I thought loved me. I couldn't see her suffer like that. So I would not come home, sometimes for weeks on end. Stefan was the one who took care of her while our father was at work. It was selfish of me and stupid. After she passed away I thought of all the time I could have spent with her that I didn't. I drank a lot, I met a lot of girls. I had just graduated from high school and I didn't know what to do with my life. My father gave me an ultimatum. He said either I go to college or he kicks me out. My father and I never got along so I wasn't surprised but his demand only made me not want to go to college all the more. I had been accepted into a few colleges but I declined them all, just to spite him. So he threw me out. I went and stayed with friends and then other friends. I finally decided to go to college after all, about six months later. But it was too late. I had disappointed my father one too many times. I haven't spoken to him in years. Now Stefan, he was the good son. He got the good grades, he dated the good girls, he took care of mom. His only fault was that he looked up to me. Even after our father had cut me out of his life and had forbidden Stefan to see me, he would call and we would hang out. To him, it was exciting, living on the edge with his delinquent brother. To me, he was the only family I had left. And then we met Katherine and we just got all mixed up in that… whatever that was. So when our father gave him the choice to either never see me again or move out, he moved out. He felt so liberated in the beginning, being away from that suffocating house and our father. But I think in the long run he regretted it. He gave up more than he thought he would and I guess he didn't get as much as he expected to get."
Elena tried to curl up even more into his embrace, tried to push her nose further into his shoulder. How had this happened? When had he decided he could open up to her like that? It didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had. "I'm so sorry about your mom," she said quietly.
"Thanks," he said absentmindedly, lifting his hand off her shoulder and running it through her hair until he suddenly snapped his head down as if trying to look at her. "Your turn now," he requested. "What did Stefan say?"
"What didn't he say?" she said bitterly and moved so that her chin was now resting on his chest, balanced on her hand. If he were looking down at her and his eyes weren't covered in bandages, she would be looking directly into them now, she thought. "He blames you," she finally stated in a quiet voice. He didn't answer but she felt his muscles tense under her fingers. "For what happened with your father and for Katherine. He says you took her away from him. He says you wanted to take me away from him as well." She knew this had to be hard for him to hear, but he had asked and he deserved the truth.
"Hm," he huffed, not saying anything else. But even though Elena could only see half his face, she saw the wheels turning inside.
"What are you thinking?" she asked, wanting desperately to be let in again.
"I'm thinking… I didn't know," he said, sounding almost helpless. "I knew he wasn't always happy with our situation. I didn't know he was so unhappy. I didn't know he blamed me." They were silent for a while. "Ironic, isn't it? I thought that I was the one who would have to forgive him. For several things even. And I thought if I did, if I were able to do that, that we could figure it out, get back to where we were before. And now I'm the one who is hoping that he'll forgive me. And I'm not even sure for what."
"It's not fair," Elena stated, more to herself than to him.
"I'm not asking for fair," he replied. "Nothing is ever fair. I'm just asking to be left with something, I guess… To have anything, at the end of it."
Elena swallowed. She had never seen him so vulnerable. She wanted to tell him that he had her, but she didn't think he would find the thought as comforting as she did. "Well, we still have our quests," she said, trying to use a cheerier voice.
"Our quests?" he asked and she could see one side of his mouth quirk up slightly.
"Yeah. You have your quest to get healthy. And I have my quest to disentangle all these illusions."
"That's more like short-term goals, but okay. So you're still reading that book, huh?" His voice was steadier now, his tone almost teasing.
"I am. And I'm still not understanding half of it."
"Alright well, how about I help you with your quest and you help me with mine?" he suggested.
"Sounds good," she smiled. "I will be the best nurse and motivational speaker ever. Just wait and see. We'll have you out of this hospital before I have understood that book."
"Oh jolly good news! 'Cause there's just a whole world out there waiting to be conquered." She heard the sarcasm in his voice but she didn't let it faze her.
"What's with the negativity? You can go back to college, find a nice girl, have the picket fence, the two and a half children and the golden retriever. Or become a starving rock star and die of an overdose in some gutter somewhere. In either case, you're living the dream." She grinned now.
"The rock star thing then," he said with a smirk.
"What, no picket fence and golden retriever for you?" she teased.
"I don't think so." And suddenly his mood was somber again. She could have smacked herself. She had no idea what had happened.
"I'm sorry," she stated. "I didn't mean to…" She didn't finish the sentence as she didn't know what exactly it was she had done. Maybe he had wanted marriage and children with Katherine and it still hurt too much to think about it with anyone else.
"It's fine, don't worry," he said dismissively, willing her to change the subject again. When she didn't but silently demanded an explanation, he sighed. "It's just not something I've thought about, really," he tried and failed miserably to explain.
"You haven't thought about kids? I mean, not now, but in general?" Elena questioned. She knew guys were different, but didn't society's pressure alone make you at least confront the issue at some point?
"I mean, being in the relationship I was in with Katherine, that just wasn't an arrangement that would likely lead to marriage and kids. So I kind of accepted that I would never have that."
"You didn't think about one day marrying her? About having children?" Elena was shocked. Once more.
"No. How would that work? What, move to Utah and become Mormons so she could marry Stefan, too?" he quipped, trying to make light of the heavy conversation.
"Didn't you think she might at some point choose?" Elena couldn't understand that he would accept this weird three-way as something permanent, that either of the involved parties would. If her talk with Stefan was any indication, he at least hadn't come to terms with it being a lasting arrangement.
Damon chuckled lightly. "No. No, she made it very clear that she wouldn't and that we shouldn't ask her to."
Elena shuddered at the thought. "And that didn't strike you as unfair and selfish?" She knew she should have learned her lesson about speaking ill of Katherine, but hearing what Damon was telling her, she couldn't keep her opinions to herself.
"Of course it was unfair and selfish. But we could have left if we wanted to and neither of us did." There it was again, Katherine's ability to captivate these brothers so much that they would do anything before giving her up.
"What about now?" Elena asked.
"What do you mean?" he returned the question.
"Well, I'm sorry but, who knows if Katherine will ever wake up. What about your future now? You could have all that stuff if you wanted to."
"I don't know," he said pensively. "I haven't really thought about it." They were quiet for a while. She wanted to push more, but didn't know what exactly she was hoping to achieve by it, therefore she didn't. "Well, I already feel mighty motivated now," he finally jibbed. "How about I help you now. Where's that book of yours?"
Thankful for his seemingly good mood, Elena got up and grabbed her book from her bag. Then she nestled back into the spot she had occupied before, her head resting on his bicep, and started to read.
"Unpredictable in his behavior, full of contradictory impulses and desires, Hector's character is too complexly delineated for us to feel altogether comfortable in his presence. He is not a type or familiar stock figure, and for every one of his actions that makes sense to us there is another one that confounds us and throws us off balance." She stopped reading then, before breathing out a "Huh."
"What? Already confused?" Damon teased, nudging his shoulder lightly so that her head bobbed.
"Not confused. But doesn't that strike you as familiar?" she questioned in a teasing tone herself.
"Familiar how?" The teasing was now gone, he seemed genuinely confused.
"Really? That description does not remind you of anyone we might know?" she quipped.
"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, slowly catching her drift.
"Nothing. Just, you certainly do confound me more often than not," she explained with a smile.
"Well, I'll take that as a compliment. I'd rather be complex and unpredictable than a dull stock figure."
"This does not surprise me at all, actually. Not as unpredictable as you thought, I guess." She was about to lift the book back up when she heard his low voice right next to her ear.
"Oh yeah?" he asked and suddenly his hands were at her side, tickling her. She jerked and the sudden movement made a dull ache shoot through her broken leg. Her elbow and leg pushed into his side and he groaned as pain shot through his ribs and broken arm that he had inadvisably moved quickly to first tickle her and then move again to get it away from her flailing limbs. They both stilled for a second as they bit through the pain but then Elena felt a giggle bubble up inside her. When she let it out, it suddenly grew into a full-fledged laugh.
"That was the dumbest thing you have ever done," she snorted in between bouts of laughter.
"God, I think I'll have to agree with you," he groaned, which only made Elena laugh even more. She laughed until her sides started to ache. And then, suddenly, she stilled completely.
"Elena?" Damon asked, suddenly sobered by her quietness.
"Yeah," she said in an uncertain voice.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" concern laced his voice.
"No, no, I just… I haven't laughed like that… I think I haven't laughed like that since my parents passed away." She looked down to her hands guiltily. She hadn't laughed like that in forever, carefree. And now of all times, when they were both still in pain, both physical and emotional.
"You should do it all the time," he said, lifting his right hand and stroking her hair. "You have a great laugh." And just like that, her guilt was gone.
Elena was tired, but she had one last stop to make before she could go home and have dinner with Jenna. She stood in front of the white door with the white curtains, gathering her courage. When she finally rang the bell, the door was opened almost immediately.
"Oh, it's you," the blonde said dismissively.
"Hi Car," Elena greeted.
"How can I help you?" her friend replied snippily.
"I came to apologize, Car. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say what I said the way I said it and… I'm really sorry." She looked at her friend pleadingly. "You're my best friend, Caroline, I can't go through life without you. Please forgive me."
"And you think you can just apologize and everything will be fine?" the girl questioned in return.
"Of course not," Elena said, shaking her head. "That's why this apology comes with a side of red velvet cake." And with that she produced the carton she had picked up at the bakery on her way over.
The blonde smirked and opened the door a little wider. "Fine, you may be forgiven," she said and then jumped once happily before flinging herself into Elena's arms. "I already talked to Bonnie. I get it, I do. I can never stay mad at you anyways."
"You just made me sweat because you wanted the cake, didn't you?" Elena said in a playfully accusatory tone.
"Guilty as charged," Caroline replied with a broad smile before running ahead into the kitchen to get some plates for them.
A/N: So I'm real nervous about this one. Please be angels and let me know what you think. Even if you didn't like something, I'd love to hear it. It's the only way to improve. Thank you! xoxo