Chapter Fourteen.

I didn't sleep very much that night.

Lying awake, I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable; or to stop my mind from racing.

He had just left.

He didn't understand.

He wasn't going to help us.

After he learned everything, he turned his back on us.

On me.

I still couldn't believe it.

I couldn't believe that he was here. In the forest. After all this time, I'd run into him again, quite literally. And I'd thought…

I'd thought we'd gone back to how we had been for those brief days of paradise in the Duke's palace. Where he had flirted with me, and been kind to me, and made me feel like someone for once, not just a lowborn scullery maid.

Maybe it had all been in my head, when I had thought he genuinely cared about me, even if it was just to make sure I was alright. I'd simply misread what I thought I saw on his face.

Or he was only being polite. And decided that civility ended the moment he knew the truth.

He must have been repulsed by what he heard. It was bad enough he'd had to spend over an hour with me, a lowborn; let alone a cursed one who could only bring harm to everyone she came across.

I was the problem. I must be. Why anyone wanted to be around me anymore was beyond me. I had failed to protect my family, and almost failed to protect Clara again. It was my fault, my fault, my fault.

James had been repulsed by me. He hated me.

I wasn't capable of doing anything anymore. I couldn't look after them all, I couldn't speak, and I was not worthy of help.

After he had left, Alexander turned on me, still very mad and demanded to know how on earth James had gotten mixed up in all of this. I knew I was not able to respond, so I took myself off to the girl's bedroom, Alexander shouting up the stairs at me.

I lay on the bed, not really able to think clearly. Hurt and confusion filled me. Clara knocked on the door a little later, and asked if I was hungry. I shook my head, and turned away to face the window, so she wouldn't see the tears that had collected in my eyes. She didn't press me, and left me alone. I heard her put Gwen to bed a little later and she quickly followed.

I drifted off at some point in the early hours of the morning, but was awake again before dawn. I sat up, wrapped up in the sheets, watching the black sky morph into a pale blue.

Fifty-one more weeks of this hell. Fifty-one more weeks alone.

I had no idea if I could manage it. It was impossible. Solitude and silence for another year.

I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'd be a shell of a person by the time it was over. This would destroy me.

And I didn't have a hope in the world. If James wouldn't help me, no one would.

I was alone.

My thoughts were interrupted by a bright golden light glowing from the two beds next to me. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I had never seen the transformation happen at dawn.

As usual, the golden light swirled and twisted around them, shrinking until the golden ball of magic were the same size as the animals they were bring transformed into. The magic disappeared, leaving a swan and a mouse in its wake.

Deciding I was going to get no more sleep, I rolled out of bed and changed into my day dress quickly. I quietly made my way downstairs, being careful not to wake any of my brothers who were also back in their animal forms, fast asleep in their hammocks.

Tiptoeing around the main room, I retrieved the bucket we used to collect water, and quietly opened the door. I dragged it outside to the pump and began to fill it slowly, before placing it back inside.

I hated being idle, it would drive me insane, the thoughts still swirling around my head. But there wasn't much I could do in the house, without waking anyone up. So, I picked up the basket we had found, and walked to the orchard to go and find some apples.

It was now early May, the trees were in full bloom, but there was not much fruit ripe enough to pick. I had to search for quite some time. I think, in the back of my mind, I was delaying going back to the cottage. Alexander was still mad at me, and rightly so. I would wait until they were all out of the house before returning, just so I wouldn't have to face their judgment, not until that night at least.

I'd left the door open a crack, so they would all be able to leave the cottage without having me there.

The sun climbed ever higher in the sky, and after about an hour, I had enough apples to fill about half of the basket, and there were no more, ripe ones to be found. I had no choice to return back to the cottage, and start the other chores I had waiting for me.

The house was empty when I got back. They'd all woken up and gone outside to play, or find food, our whatever they did all day. I couldn't ask, and they always returned, so it didn't really matter. Closing the door, washing and then depositing the apples on the table, I made myself some porridge for breakfast. It took quite a while, making the fire, lighting it, heating the water, then actually cooking the oats before I could eat them.

I had just finished the last spoonful, when there was a rather loud knock at the door.

I jumped.

The knock sounded again, and I left the bowl on the table, and moved to open the door.

My hand rested on the latch. Another knock vibrated through the wood, sending pulses down my arm.

'Marion?' A male voice shouted through the old wood.

Pushing down the latch, I swung open the door to reveal a young man, his black hair still ruffed from sleep.

James.

I stood frozen in shock.

He was here. He came back.

'Good morning.' He said, 'Sleep well?'

I found myself shaking my head before I could even think.

'Oh dear, why?'

I pointed to my throat again, and he seemed to be reminded of my inability to speak.

'Sorry.' He said simply.

Reaching into his pocket, he opened his mouth again.

'In fact, that's the reason I'm here.'

Pulling a small object out of his jacket pocket, he handed it to me. It was wrapped in thin cloth, tied in a pretty green ribbon.

'Go on, open it.'

I gently pulled the end of the ribbon until it untangled and fell off the package into my hand. Next the cloth fell away to reveal a small piece of a flat dark grey stone, about as large as my two hands put together. A thin wooden border ran around the edge, defining a neat end of the stone.

'It's a slate. You write on it.' James said reaching into his pocket again, 'With this.'

A small stick of a powdery white stone was revealed in his hand.

'My father used to make me practice my letters on one of these. You can write things on it, and then wipe it off with your sleeve and use it again. I thought you could use something like this.'

He leaned forward and placed the small white stick on the stone, before beginning to write with it; just one word.

Hello.

I smiled.

He had brought this for me.

For me!

He cared.

'Seeing as thought you can't talk, there's no reason why you can't communicate. I figured you'd run out of space on that table soon, if not already.'

He offered me the small writing stone and a small smile.

I took it, and glanced down. I should have written my thanks or gratitude.

But I didn't.

Instead, I moved the white stone over the slate and wrote two words.

You left.

He looked down and saw the writing. Snapping his head up, he looked at me.

'What?'

I pointed to the words again.

He sighed heavily.

'Oh, you mean last night.'

I turned around and moved to close the door behind me. He had walked out; he hadn't wanted anything to do with me.

'Marion, stop. Please, let me explain.'

I stopped. I didn't turn around to face him.

'I didn't mean to offend you like that. Sorry, I didn't think. I realise now it must have seemed very rude.'

Moving my legs, I took several steps towards a seat by the fire, and sat in one of the chairs, gesturing for James to take the one opposite me. He walked quickly though the door, closing it swiftly behind him, and then sat in the chair I had indicated.

Taking a deep breath, he began.

'You have to understand I was surprised yesterday. I never expected to see you in the forest of all places, let alone trying to defend a swan. I mean, it was a pleasant surprise. Very pleasant indeed.'

'And when your brother was telling me about the curse, you have no idea how sorry I was Marion, for all of you. I was listening, trust me; but also I was thinking.'

He sighed.

'I could never imagine going through what you are going through now. I could never have that resolve, and I admire you greatly for it. So, I was thinking how I could possibly make it easier for you.'

I started at that. He'd been thinking of me.

'Then, I remembered my old slate and chalk, and thought that might help. I fully intended to come back last night with the delivery of it, but by the time I had gotten back to the manor, and actually found the damn thing in my old nursery, it was well past midnight, and I figured you'd be asleep. So, I woke at dawn and rode here.'

He reached forward and took my hand gently in his.

'I'm so sorry if I upset you in any way, for my behaviour last night, or yesterday. And I will try to make it up to you.'

Lifting my eyes slowly to meet his, I saw in his face that he truly meant it. He wanted to help. Even his leaving last night had been to try and help me.

'Please, Marion. Let me make it up to you.' He said hoarsely.

I looked down to the slate he had brought me. It was old, but it was well made, and would have cost at least a week's wages, maybe two. There was no way I would have been able to afford this. It was very generous of him.

He cared. He cared enough to try and help me out of the hell of a situation we were in. He had thought of a way to make it easier on me.

I smiled.

I wasn't alone.

I wasn't isolated.

I had someone who cared.

Picking up the piece of chalk, I scratched a sentence onto the slate.

Thank you so much.

James smiled at me.

'Your very welcome, my lady. I only wish I could do more.'

I bent my head over the slate again.

Talk to Alexander. Please.

'Alexander's the eldest boy right? The one who got very angry at me last night.'

I nodded.

He thinks this is all his fault. He's hurting.

James swallowed, and his fingers rubbed soothing patterns over the back of my hand.

'Of course I will. Anything at all.'

His smiled dropped, and his expression turned serious.

'I have to get back. Stupid estate matters to attend to. But, if you'll let me, I'll come back tonight after sunset and I'll speak to him then. I'll go on my knees and beg his forgiveness if that's what he wants.'

He leant forwards.

'And I'd also like to visit you as well, if you'll allow me. Someone to talk to.' He stopped, as if realising what he had just said.

'Well, maybe not talk to, but to keep you company.' He finished with a small smile.

My heart leapt. I wanted nothing more than someone to keep me company during the long days of silence and solitude.

And with James.

I couldn't think of a person I'd more want to see.

I nodded vigorously.

James's face lit up. Something shone in those green eyes, something I didn't know how to describe, but desperately wanted to see again.

He stood from his chair, still beaming.

'Well then my lady, I guess I will see you tonight.' He chuckled.

I stood to escort him out of the door, placing the slate and chalk down on the table.

We got to the door, and he slowly opened it. But, before he walked through the doorframe, I tapped him lightly on his arm.

He spun back around to face me.

I mouthed the words Thank you, and before he had time to react, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him in to my embrace. He grunted a bit at the sudden impact, and I lifted my chin over his shoulder.

I was so grateful, so relieved I had found him in the forest the day before. And he was going to help me.

He froze for about a second, before his arms tightened around me, holding me close.

'You are most very welcome Marion.' He said quietly.

I was about to pull away when I suddenly felt weak and dizzy.

Before me was a man. I was embracing a man. His rough tunic grazed my cheek as I held him close. Out of the corner of my eye, his red hair shone in the midday sun, and his arms circled my waist tightly. They felt so secure and safe, like I was made to fit in them.

I couldn't see the man properly, but I knew him; knew him well.

And then, just like that, the vision was gone.

I blinked.

What had just happened.

I was hugging James, not some strange red haired man.

What on earth had brought that on?

I pulled back, to see James smile, his definitely black hair still a little mused up.

Why had I just seen ginger hair? It made no sense!

James gave me one last small smile, before stepping backwards, out of my arms, and out of the door. I watched as he walked to a horse I hadn't noticed was tied up to the right hand side of the house. He expertly placed his foot in the stirrup and hauled himself onto the back of the horse with great ease. Giving me a mock bow from the waist up, he clicked his tongue, and soon he and the horse disappeared from view.

I closed the door to the cottage, and went about my daily chores, smiling as I did.

True to his word, James returned later that night.

He arrived just before sunset.

Horse hooves echoed through the trees of the forest, alerting me to his arrival. I may have waited just a little way down the path instead of at the cottage. My siblings would be returning any second, if they hadn't already, and I rather selfishly wanted a little time with James without them there.

I had sacrificed enough for my family; I felt I was entitled to this one small pleasure.

The hoof beats got ever closer, until I could hear a horse whinnying as it slowed down, and a familiar rider came into view. He was wearing the same clothes he had done that morning, although this time, his hair had been combed.

He saw me waiting through the trees, and I had never seen a face light up as much as his did. His urged the horse on, right next to where I was standing, waiting for him. He pulled to a stop, and very smoothly swung his leg over the saddle until he hopped out of the stirrup and hit the ground graciously.

I smiled.

He was here. It had been terribly dull all day with no one to see.

He grasped my hand, and gave me a gracious bow over it.

'My lady of the forest.' He murmured, before bestowing a light kiss on the back of my hand. Even though I tried my best to ignore it, blood still rushed to my cheeks, having him treat me like a lady.

I gave him a mock curtsy in response, and his tilted his head back to chuckle. When his own lovely green eyes met my own, I stuck my tongue out at him in a very unladylike fashion, forcing more laughs to tumble from his lips. I removed my hand from his grasp, and we walked back to the cottage in friendly quiet.

As I suspected, all of my siblings in their animal forms had already arrived. James greeted them all in turn, surprised he could remember each by name. He had only ever been told their names once, at Ella's Wedding, and that was two years ago.

Only Alexander didn't seem to be interested in what James had to say to them. Even Clara who'd had a crossbow pointed at her, seemed to have forgiven him for his mistake the previous day. No doubt it had something to do with James being an attractive young man.

The sun disappeared behind the line of the horizon, and once again, they transformed back into humans. Clara ran upstairs to get changed, she was still in her nightgown; as were all of my brothers and sisters. As soon as Clara left, Gwen, Robbie and Tom all decided they wanted to get changed to, and the entire house was a flurry of activity.

Daniel and Richard began to finish making dinner, and I was tapped on the shoulder by Alexander, who lent forward and whispered in my ear.

'Please can I speak to you. Outside.'

I nodded and followed him out. James caught my eye just before I walked through the door. He looked like he was asking if he should follow us. I shook my head, and he stopped, before turning back and offering his services to my brothers on dinner duty.

I closed the door and followed Alexander around the back of the house. He stopped, and ran his hand through his hair, which was now even longer than it usually was.

'I wanted to apologise, about yesterday.' He began. 'I get that you were only trying to help.'

I nodded.

'And I realise that the man in there had no idea what he was doing, Lord James, is it?'

I shrugged a little and then nodded. He was a Sir, not a lord, but I couldn't exactly tell Alexander the difference.

'I may have unfairly taken it out on you, and I shouldn't have done. I'm very sorry Arry. You've definitely got the worse end of this curse, and I should be making it easier on you, not harder.'

I smiled a little at him. I knew it had been hard on him too. He'd been down and in pain since Father started refusing to eat. And with his death and the curse, Alexander needed support, we all did. We were a family, we needed to be there for each other, more so than what we were currently doing.

'I'm so sorry.' He breathed out. 'And if you think this man can really help us, I'm willing to be civil to him. Just don't expect me to become best friends with him, that's all.'

I nodded, and gestured to him to wait there. He looked confused, but didn't move. I quickly raced back inside, and found James, Richard and Daniel, all chatting to each other as they chopped vegetables in a sort of line. James instantly looked up when he heard the door open, and smiled at me. I beckoned him to follow me.

'I'm sorry, your sister seems to require assistance. I shall be back momentarily.' James told them. He placed down the knife, and came towards me with a small wink. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him. My brothers hadn't seen, even though they were looking in our direction, and I was not about to give them something to tease me over.

James strode past me, out of the open door and stopped when he saw Alexander waiting for him. To his credit, his expression didn't falter once.

I closed the door behind me, and stood back as my brother and James faced each other.

'I feel I owe you an apology.' James started. 'I behaved utterly appallingly yesterday. And I completely understand if you never forgive for how I treated your family.'

Alexander didn't react.

'I'm so sorry if I caused any harm to your sister, if I had known, I wouldn't have pointed an arrow at her. And yesterday, it has been brought to my attention that I must have appeared very rude indeed for simply walking out like that. As I told Marion earlier, I had my reasons. I want to help you in any way I can. I only ask for a chance to prove to you how sincerely I mean this.' James continued.

I watched with a held breath. Alexander only shook his head slightly.

'Well, I thought I was out here to apologise to you, but you seemed to have beat me to it.'

James smiled a little.

'I wanted to say sorry for how I was yesterday.' Alexander began.

'No, no! I was completely at fault.' James interrupted. 'I imagine if I had a sister, or someone to protect, I would have reacted the way you did, if not worse. You do credit to your family for how much you care.'

I released the breath I hadn't realised I was keeping in. Alexander returned James' smile.

'I'm glad we could clear this up.' My brother said. 'But I don't think Arry would have forgiven me if we hadn't'

Both of them looked towards me, and I rolled my eyes, and sighed.

Together, they both chuckled.

James extended his hand towards Alexander, and my brother grasped it firmly, and shook his hand.

My heart leapt at the sight of them. It must have shown on my face, as Alexander raised his eyebrow slightly at me.

'Thank you for this Alex.' James started, but Alexander put his hand up.

'Don't call me Alex.' He said. 'If we're going to be civil with each other, no one calls me Alex. Ever.'

James looked a little stunned, but nodded his understanding.

'Shall we? I have promised your brothers I would continue to help them. They've put me in charge of carrots. Apparently, they are the easiest vegetable to cook.'

'They are.' Alexander told him.

'Hmm, I'm not sure whether to be offended, or flattered that they even let me near uncooked vegetables….' James said with a small grin, his usual smug expression had returned to his face.

I rolled my eyes again, and opened the door to the cottage, and indicated for both of them to go through. Alexander went through first, but James held back a little bit. I was about to walk through the doorframe, when I felt a strong hand close around my wrist, tugging gently.

I spun around to see James grinning at me.

'So, how was that?' He whispered. Although I tried to ignore it, his warm breath near my ear cause goose bumps to run down my neck and arms.

I nodded and smiled, about as much as I could do to indicate that it went well.

'Good.' James continued. 'I'm glad it made you happy.'

I could almost read the unsaid sentiment in his eyes.

I want to make you happy.

I sidestepped out of the view of the door, bringing James along with me. Slowly, I raised myself onto my tiptoes until his face was in line with my own.

Gently, I leaned forwards, and placed a soft kiss on his left cheek. He seemed stunned, or frozen, like he didn't want to move. I pulled back and mouthed.

Thank you.

His green eyes met mine, and his smile dropped, to something else. Something I couldn't place.

'You're welcome. So very welcome.' He whispered, a little hoarsely.

Lowering myself back onto flat feet, I turned around and walked through the door before he could react. I had to pull myself away.

My heart was racing. Had I really just done that?

Why?

I knew exactly why. I wasn't going to lie to myself. It wouldn't be fair to lie.

Seeing James again, it had awoken all those old feeling I hadn't thought about for the last two years.

I had realised that I liked him, that maybe I was infatuated with him.

Maybe, a small part of me still was…

And maybe a small part of him liked me as well…

Just maybe. I could only hope.

One thing didn't quite add up though. I'd been in Milton for two years, and in all that time, I hadn't thought about James, or thought I still liked him. It wasn't like there had been anyone else that I had liked. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more it appeared like there was just a large two-year gap in my feelings, for anyone at all, romantically. I just hadn't liked anyone in two years.

That made no sense. I couldn't have just turned off my feelings for two years, could I?

But as James sauntered back through the door, those thoughts flew out of my head.

That was the past.

And what lay before me, was the future.