I do not own Ella Enchanted. It belongs to Gail Carson Levine.
--
Like last time there were voices all around her, but also a rhythmic beeping, and a very familiar, annoyed voice buzzing in her ear.
"You should have watched her! This is what I was worried about!"
"You can't expect us to follow her around every day!"
"You're her family!"
Hattie wished that whoever was beside her would shut the fuck up. They were giving her a headache.
"Let's all just calm down," ooh, a new voice! This one was very authoritative; the kind of voice that went a long way in an OR. Hattie supposed that it was her doctor.
"Olga, please, go wait outside. Dr. Edith wants to speak with Hattie privately when she wakes up." Despite the causality of her words, her tone was threatening. Hattie had never before met anyone who dared to threaten her mother.
"Thanks, Daria. There's no way in hell I would be able to properly converse with Hattie with her here."
Wait…Daria? Hattie's physician was named Ivi. Why the sudden change, and why wasn't she notified? Were people not going to tell her anything anymore? Were they afraid that she'd snap at the tiniest thing?
Hattie stirred involuntarily. Her muscles twitched from anger.
"She's awake," Daria said, glancing anxiously at her. "Don't push the issue of Char and Ella. Char says he thinks they're what set her off this time."
Dr. Edith scoffed, but cleared her throat to mask it.
Hattie heard Daria leave, and she immediately wished to be unconscious again.
"Come off it, Hattie, I know you're awake." Dr. Edith moved to sit on the side of Hattie's bed. "I need to talk to you."
"Can't you just let me rest?"
"Ah! There we go!"
Hattie groaned, and threw a pillow at Dr. Edith, who moved out of the way, letting the plush object land noiselessly on the floor.
"I can have you tried for aggravated assault." Dr. Edith jeered.
"Since when have you been so cheery?" Hattie asked, turning over to face the doctor, who wore an expression of suppressed amusement.
"Enough talk about my mood. I want to talk about you…and why you tried to kill yourself again."
Something about the doctor's tone irked Hattie. She sounded annoyed almost as if Hattie's suicide attempt was just a colossal waste of time, rather than a very serious issue.
"I don't want to talk to you about anything. Please, go away." Hattie hated having to fucking pled; why couldn't people just--
"You're driving me insane, Hattie."
Excuse me? I'm driving her insane?
"You see, I've dealt with a lot of patients like you. And I've been able to help every last one. Well, with the exception of one. A girl--your age, her name was Addie. She was depressed; cut herself, attempted suicide twice. I thought--I was so sure…so sure that I had helped her…that she was better."
Dr. Edith paused, and for once, Hattie had no witty remark.
"She surprised me. Her sister found her--dead, in a bathtub. It was all so cliché. She'd slit her wrists, and Hattie, she was a fantastic girl. And so are you. I don't want you to end up like her."
"You see, Doctor, I'm not like your special patient."
Dr. Edith jumped off the bed, and threw her hands up in the air in a comical gesture of exasperation.
"Hattie!"
"Stop yelling. I have a headache."
Hattie and Dr. Edith locked eyes for a moment, and Hattie felt as if time had slowed. She felt lightheaded, but coherent enough to ask the question that was burning in the back of her mine;
"Where's Dr. Amonta?"
Dr. Edith seemed taken aback. Hattie had sat up, head cocked to one side, expression oh-so adorably inquisitive; and Dr. Edith had to admit it, the girl was fucking cute. Sexy, even, but Dr. Edith knew better than to lust over patients. But Hattie was sexy in an odd, fucked-up kind of way.
Her face was round, and her hair was elaborately wavy and honey-colored. Her eyes were cat-like slits--icy, violently blue, and her lips; pale pink and perfectly full. And she was tall, not supermodel thin, but lean enough…
"Dr. Edith, where is Dr. Amonta?"
Dr. Edith snapped back to reality; "She had to go out of town. Dr. Kyrria is taking over for her. She's great, really, she--"
"Excuse me, did you say Dr. Kyrria?"
"Yes, she's the Prime Minister's wife--"
"She's a doctor?!"
"Yes, did Char not--"
"You call him Char?!"
"Everyone calls him Char--"
"He never let me call him Char!"
Suddenly, Hattie was out of bed, skirt and blouse wrinkled and slightly bloodied. "Hattie, sit down. Dr. Kyrria already wants to keep you for a few nights for evaluation; don't make things worse for yourself."
Evaluation?
"Evaluation? What are you--?"
"This is your second suicide attempt. Your mother may have gotten away with discharging you earlier last time, but not this time. Dr. Kyrria is very adamant about keeping you here for a while."
Unbelievable….
"Hattie, you need to open up to me. I can't help you unless you talk to me. I thought we were making progress, but apparently not. Your mother found two empty bottles of vodka under your bed this morning. Would you like to explain that?"
Hattie felt cornered again.
"I-I-I was just--"
"For the love of God, Hattie, please don't say that you were thirsty!"
"I needed--"
"You NEEDED another ADDICTION! Hattie, alcohol isn't--"
"It's the answer? I know! But I am not my father, alright! He fucked up! I won't--"
"Hattie, this is ridiculous!"
"Just get the fuck out of here, Dr. Edith." Hattie sneered her name, blue eyes alight with such loathing and revulsion that Dr. Edith winced.
"Hattie," she sat down on the bed beside her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Talk to me. Please."
And the look Hattie gave her was beyond desperate. It was the look of someone who had completely lost their shit.
What happened next, Dr. Edith had no psychiatric evaluation for.
Hattie's lips were on hers, hungry, eager, and so many other fucking adjectives that shouldn't have been used in the situation…
But Dr. Edith knew why she was doing this; it was clear now, she wanted Ella, she needed Ella, she was in love with Ella…but Ella didn't feel anything for her. She was only using Blossom and Delicia and Stephen and now Dr. Edith herself…
"Hattie, no--" she placed her hands on the younger girl's shoulders, pushing her away--
But Hattie wasn't having any of that.
"You want to help me? Fuck me, then. I need another--:
"Another hit? Hattie, no!" Dr. Edith pushed Hattie away causing her to fall back onto the bed, the look on her face was defeated; she looked as if she were ready to cry.
She buried her face in the pillow, and dry sobs escaped her.
"Hattie, you want Ella…don't you?"
"Y-yes…"
"You love her, don't you?"
"But she loathes me!"
"BUT DO YOU LOVE HER?!" She hadn't meant to shout; she just wanted a fucking straight answer!
"YES! AND DO YOU KNOW HOW PATHETIC THAT MAKES ME FEEL? She's my stepsister! And she already has Char! She hates me!"
Dr. Edith knew then how difficult treating Hattie would be, confessions or not.