14. The hat

"Do you really think we have to fight a troll?" Sidekick number two whispered panicky. Tom rolled his eyes. Harry glanced at him uncertain, with made him roll his eyes once more. He had told him about the sorting ceremony, of course. The brat'd better not start doubting his omniscience suddenly! Besides, hadn't the Granger girl read a Hogwarts History? Actually, hadn't she read every book on the list at least twice?
Sighing Tom glared at nobody particular, pondering. It was frightening how much he knew of Harry, his friends and classmates. He had really been obsessed with the boy...
Then again, he had taught the brats for a year, if only from the second row.

"Follow me now!" McGonagall's crisp voice broke through his musings and he stepped in line beside Harry. The gates opened and the great hall in all its glory revealed itself to the gaping first-years. Tom looked over the stunned faces and quickly erased the scowl. Wouldn't do to attract attention even before the sorting. Still, the last time he was here... he shuddered. The Sorting Hat stood exactly at the same place he had stood ten years ago – or seven in the future, depending how you looked at it – and had died. Would die. Whatever.

He ignored the whispers in the great hall, keeping his eyes firmly on Malfoy's slicked back hair. Dumbledore was sitting right there. Alive. Probably twinkling. Yeah, scratch that, undoubtedly twinkling. He didn't look at the man. Would have to soon enough.

Damn, he was nervous!
As if the bloody hat would put him anywhere else than Slytherin!

Wouldn't he?

"Abott, Hannah!"

"Brown Lavender!"

Tom zoomed out, only absently noting the names.

"Potter Harry!"

He perked up, giving his little brother a shove in the right direction and making a mental note to make sure not to let the hat drop over his eyes. It looked ridiculous. While the whole hall was whispering excitedly, the former Dark Lord eyed his nails in a bored way. As if Harry would go anywhere but Gryffindor. He had really tried to work with the boy, but he was so utterly naïve, foolish and cute, he just had to end up..

"GRYFFINDOR!"

There, his words.
Harry stumbled over to his new house and Tom felt only slightly snubbed when he didn't even look back, before he had sat down.

"Potter Tom!"

Half of the hall was still chatting over the famous boy-who-lived and didn't notice. The other half stared back and forth between him and Harry. Tom allowed himself a satisfied smirk and strolled over to the hat. Hello rumours!

Before the rotting cloth touched his head (without falling over his eyes, of course), he risked a glance at the headtable. Dumbledore was staring intensely at him, eyes twinkling but everything but relaxed. The rest of the teachers looked dumbfounded and Snape glared daggers at the headmaster. Well, look who had had no clue of his existence...

"You know me!"

"No kidding," Tom thought bored and poked the hat mentally, "Now, sort me!"

"You cannot order me around!" the hat said indignantly, after recovering from the shock of being pulled over the former Dark Lord´s head. Said Lord sighed and mentally picked his fingernails while loudly pondering whether the basilisk was in need of a chewing toy.

"..."

"See? Now sort me!"
Merlin, how he had missed bossing people around. Or things. Talking things. Whatever.

"Rebirth has left quite the damage, huh?" the hat remarked cheekily.

Tom scowled. Thought-reading was just cheating!
He genuinely ignored that he was a Legilimens himself and rather enjoyed fucking with others´ minds.

"Hypocrite."

"Hey, I don't need to use legilimentic."

"Well, Malfoy can mess with your brothers head," the hat reminded him.

"..." Tom decided that the whole thing was losing its entertainment factor.

The hat laughed.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Still scowling, Tom ripped the hat of his head and made sure to dent its tip just for extra measure, before he made his way to Slytherin.

Though he had just lost an argument with a talking hat, his evening was considerably brightened when Snape sputtered his drink all over his robes, because Tom winked at him.

Life was good.

Uh, it´s been a while, isn´t it?
Just so, I do not intend to drop this FF and I read every Review and dance a happy-dance. But I think you´d rather have me writing more chapters, than lengthy answers, so, well.

Complains to my university please.