Author's Note: And, now, let's begin the final battle! Okamas vs. search party! Ivankov vs. Mihawk! Who will win?
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, any songs used, or any Monty Python jokes. I just own the poem Ivankov reads.
An hour later, Crocodile and Mihawk met Luffy, Ace, Sabo, Kazuma, Hana, Yuki-Rin, Usopp, Yasopp, Zoro, Nami, Vivi, Aki, Heathcliffe, Holden, Soren, Kartik, Matsu, Sanji, Robin, Law, Bonney, Apoo, X. Drake, Hawkins, and Hancock at the parking lot of the M.
"Ready to go?" Mihawk asked everyone.
"Let's do this!" Luffy yelled.
"But, first..." Crocodile said as he put his hand in the center. "All for one..."
Everyone else put their hands on top of Crocodille's.
"And, one for all!" Everyone said.
"We're coming for you, Shanks-sensei!" Luffy yelled. "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"
Then, everyone strutted to the entrance of the M in sort of a slo-mo style. In the background, the Tomoyasu Hotei song "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" played in the background in the two minutes and thirty seconds it took them to get from where they were standing to the entrance.
"We're here for you, Shanks-sensei!" Luffy yelled as they entered the casino/resort.
"Come out here RIGHT NOW, you shitty okamas!" Sanji yelled. Ivankov's face then popped up on a wide-screen T.V. He was sitting in a chair in a very swanky room. "Woah, that's swankier than my own hotel room. Damn."
"'Allo! Who is zis?" Ivankov asked the search party.
"We're looking for Shanks and Doflamingo," Mihawk explained.
"Like hell, I'd give zem to you vight now," Ivankov said.
"Look, man, Doflamigo's gonna be my groom in a gay wedding tomorrow morning. Can you help a gay guy out?" Crocodile pleaded.
"Nope! I've already got some!" Ivankov said.
"That's what he said," Sabo whispered to Ace, who laughed.
"Can we come up and have a look at your gay guys?" Mihawk - in all seriousness - asked Ivankov.
"No! You are Pasole types-a!" Ivankov explained.
"Pasole types? What's that?" Nami asked Ivankov, who facepalmed.
"Look, YOU DON'T FRIGHTEN US, PASOLE PIG DOGS! GO UND BOIL YOUR BOTTOMS, SONS OF A SILLY PERSON! I BLOW MY NOSE AT YOU, YOU SILLY DRACULE MIHAWK GOLFER! YOU UND YOUR SILLY CROCODILE KANNIGGET!" Ivankov shouted. Kartik cleared his throat.
"Excuse me, but we are here to -" Kartik explained before Ivankov cut him off.
"I DON'T VANNA TALK TO YOU NO MORE, YOU EMPTY-HEADED ANIMAL FOOD TROUGH VHOPPER! I FART IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION! YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER UND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES!" Ivankov shouted. Everyone sweatdropped.
"Okay... I'm just gonna call the police," Nami said. Ivankov pulled out a cell phone with the symbol of a Jolly Roger with orange hair and a blue-and-white, striped bandana.
"Vell, you can't call the police vithout this," Ivankov taunted. Nami gasped.
"Hey! That's my phone! Why do you have my phone?" Nami cried.
"Once ve heard of your attempts to find us, ve had to do something to stop you," Ivankov explained. Luffy then screamed out in rage.
"BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!" Luffy yelled before punching the flat scree so hard, it broke.
"Now what? Do we just go upstairs and beat their asses?" Zoro asked everyone.
"You're not. You'd get us all lost," Sanji explained.
"Excuse me?" Zoro cried. Then, the ground began to shake.
"Earthquake!" Sanji cried. Then, many okamas came out of the floor and from the ceiling.
"Welcome to Newkama Land, a crossdressing art thieves' paradise!" The okamas greeted the search party. Sanji turned very green.
"Oh, God, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Sanji cried before making a run to the bathroom.
"Und, now, a poem about my lovely okamas," Ivankov said over the P.A.
"Und, there they went, the okamas of Newkama Land.
Some vere in cages, some vere on stripper poles.
Some vere dressed as schoolgirls, some vere dressed in bondage and S&M gear.
Some vere fat, some vere thin.
Some had leg hair, some had shaved legs.
Some vore makeup, some vore five o'clock shadow.
Some vere young, some vere old
Some vere transsexuals, some vere -"
"Three Sword Style: Ashura!" Zoro yelled as he pulled three swords out of nowhere and sliced up the P.A. system.
"After all okamas! You know who we came here for!" Mihawk yelled as everyone charged into the crowd of okamas/art thieves.
Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
But they fought with expert timing
"Mihawk, you know what to do!" Crocodile yelled.
"Yeah! Get Doflamingo and Shanks, get Shanks to grow his manhood back, and get out of here!" Mihawk yelled back as he hit an okama in the head with his sword.
"What about my cell phone?" Nami cried. Mihawk grabbed her by the wrist.
"You're coming with me. You're the Ariadne to my Cobb, and we're going into Limbo together to get Robert Fischer - Shanks and Doflamingo - back from Mal," Mihawk explained as he and Nami began to run.
There were funky China men from funky Chinatown
They were chopping them up
They were chopping them down
It's an ancient Chinese art
And, everybody knew their part
From a faint into a slip
And a kickin' from the hip
Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Those kicks were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing
"Good luck up there, Nami!" Vivi yelled before kicking an okama in his nuts.
"Say hi to Shanks-sensei for us!" Kazuma said as he hit an okama on his head with his kendo pole.
"I will, Kazuma. I will," Nami said before she and Mihawk made a break for the elevator.
Ending Note: Review if you want to see the final chapter.