I can't believe he has returned. After a prolonged wait, he has finally returned, becoming visible from his veiling shadows. That sonorous voice that I have been thirsting to hear is back. Yet, I can't even turn myself around; I can't challenge myself to make that move where I will have to gaze into his eloquent cocoa eyes, then it will lead onto the vanquishing touch that will only make the incensing guilt inside of me worse. More crisp tears model themselves in my eyes as I continue my footsteps, only for his to follow me. It's like he can sense the precise blue feelings I'm experiencing. I can't believe I'm walking away from him, abandoning him behind. I just want to break these rusty chains that withhold me from running right into his arms, but these chains are permanent.
"Sierra-Bear! Where are you?" thoughts of what Michael did to me flood back into my mind, Jimmy is hunting me down "Come on we can have a hug and sort this thing out!" I would like nothing more than to cling onto Jimmy right now, his hugs always make me feel alleviated from my strains "Shit, where the hell are you Bear?" his voice manifests concern, but if I go back then I have to see that one person who is hovering around me. I will be forced into his seductive trance and I can't allow myself to do that, it'll be just another heartbreak to add to my collection.
I descend down the set of stairs just a little bit away from the Boardwalk that make the enduring journey to my home shorter, I am out of sight from any living being. But not from the dead.
"Sierra, don't be scared of me" how can I ever be frightened of him? With those six words fully grasping themselves into my weakness, I immediately rebound my footsteps and thrust myself into his placate arms where I sob every tear I am capable to produce. Once I am in those arms, I know I can't ever unchain myself from them "It's alright Sierra, I'm here now. I'm back" I had imagined beforehand that his arrival would be in different circumstances; in my own dreams Michael and I would be blissfully together, Laddie would be free from any kind of danger, my family would be reunited together and Star wouldn't be afflicted with the combined emotions of worry and fear. Who was I to kid though? I should have known that dream would never come true, wishes like that are impossible to make reality in Santa Carla.
"Dwayne... Michael he... he" I weep with never ending streams of woe sprinting down my face "He..." I can't find myself to even mention what Michael did. What if Jimmy was telling the truth? What if Michael really didn't kiss that girl? What if I hadn't been so fuming and allowed my temper to cool before confronting him? Would we still be together if I had given him the chance to explain himself?
Dwayne just tranquilly strokes my hair, hushing me softly.
"I know what he did Sierra, and trust me, he'll pay for what he did to you" he whispers, I can feel his face leaning down on me and his hands manoeuvre their way to my slim waist. My eyes are locked on his eyes that have now slid down to a close. I can feel his summery breath tingle on my lips, just as they are about to meld together I slant my head to the side so he brushes my cheek.
He straightens himself at a gradual pace, his bear-like hands still situated on my waist and his bark eyes glow with puzzlement.
"Wanna get outta here?" he finally asks, erasing a solemn tear away from my cheek. A manageable smile surfaces upon my lips, giving my approval. A cheerful grin marks itself on Dwayne's mouth as he lassoes me in his arms again in a welcoming embrace "I've missed you Sierra, you'll never know how much I've missed you" I hunger to repeat his sentence, except removing my name and replacing it with his. Dwayne entwines his fingers with mine and guides me back onto the bustling streets.
"I'm gonna tell Jimmy I'm going home, I don't want them worrying about me" my instinct is alerting me to run as far away from Dwayne as possible, I can't help but to disregard it though. Dwayne wouldn't do anything to harm me; he even authorized me to take away his life just so he could keep me out of peril his vampire nature comes along with. So what would he have a justification to hurt me? That cautioning instinct looms over, it doesn't want me to ignore it.
"Ok, meet me here after you've told them" Once again I meekly smile, why does Dwayne seem like such a stranger to me? I'm not used to being with him by myself, before we would be joined with Marko, Paul and David. I'll have to adjust to just us two, now I've seen Dwayne in the flesh I highly doubt David has lured him back as his bait to snatch me. Dwayne and I briefly survey each other, our eyes making contact before I rip them from him and blend myself in with the rest of society.
I let my thick hair fall down to my hips like a coffee waterfall and untie the acid washed rag that is encircling around my head. What am I doing? I'm about to gallivant off with a man I feel like I can hardly trust at the moment, why am I doing it? The mixture of the lively chatter from the guests to the Boardwalk, daunting carousel music and the booming vocals of the live act are all that I can hear. As vain as it may seem, I know Michael is going to be with Jimmy and the others still so I peer into a glass store window and tease my hair, examining my rough appearance from all the tears I have shed. My heart automatically grinds to a halt when I catch a glimpse of Dwayne, watching over me. I spin around to look out at the scintillating sea, no one is there. Was it just a figment my overly disheartened mind had manufactured just to deter me? I finish scrutinizing my face and quest through the rattling crowd for those refreshing faces I am desperate to lay eyes on.
"Sierra-Bear!" it seems they have detected me first. Jimmy bundles me in an hug, his many strands of charcoal hair masking my forlorn face away from River and Jude "Fuck Sierra, I was worried to death about you" I surprise myself by roping my arms around him, I'm in complete despair. I want Michael back but at the same time my only ambition is to avoid him at every cost.
After my reaction, I'm positive he has a mutual agreement. Self-condemnation is congregating over me; I shouldn't have treated Michael like that. I had no right to tarnish him with the same name of the man who once supervised and dictated every breath I inhaled and exhaled, every footstep I took and every word I muttered.
"Stay right there Bear, I'll be back in a minute" Jimmy advances into the crowd of everlasting dancers after placing a rash kiss on my forehead. River and Jude shelter me in a soothing embrace, repeatedly asking if I am alright. I reply with what they expect me to answer, when really inside I'm prevailing in nothing but a churning fire. It is the guilt of what happened weeks ago scalding me.
"Sierra!" its Michael.
Michael rushes over, almost instantly inspecting my face with his fingers to check if I have been hurt. He takes an incredibly detailed note of the tainted ruby lines where tears once sprinted down.
"God I thought you were hurt, nobody knew where you were" he coaxes me into yet another hug, my arms are nailed to my sides, I can't hurt him. I might as well have been a bullet slashing through his heart when I declared my final words to him. I slip myself out of his solacing contentment, exiling myself from it forever.
"I'm fine, honestly. I just wanted to tell you all that I'm going home now, see you guys later" I feel a sweating hand clamp around my arm, the compression of it denying me to get closer to the exit.
"Not by yourself, it's too dangerous. I'll drive you" I need to get back to Dwayne; I can't leave him out there by himself waiting for me for a lengthy amount of time just so my ex-boyfriend can mindlessly ramble on about something I want to forget.
"Mike, Sierra's capable –" Jimmy starts; now he chooses to defend his friend.
"David's out there Sierra, and he's after you. He even said so himself that he's coming back for you" Michael overpasses Jimmy's interrupted fact and regions all of his attention onto me.
"Thanks, but I've gotta ride already" my endeavour to migrate from his hold blunders as it only tightens itself. This bitter end between us is a sign, informing me that Michael and I weren't meant to be. Not only that, I would never want to inflict the same heartache I am feeling on him. In the corner of my eye I realise Jimmy, River and Jude have retreated someplace else, most likely backstage "Michael please, I don't wanna cause another argument. I've done enough of that already"
"Baby, I don't care about the arguments anymore, I just want you" the pressurizing tears are building up, another thing I've done enough is crying, especially tonight.
"Michael trust me, you don't wanna have me again" I have to confess to him, Dwayne is in Santa Carla and there is a high possibility Michael will see him around. It's not just that though, I've cloaked the truth from him for far too long, it's time he knew exactly what I've been hiding from him "Remember I said I thought I saw Dwayne?" Michael nods to show his understanding, it's finally time I present him with the reason I have been acting so unlike myself, I just hope he forgives me "He's alive, I let him go that night. I never killed him"
Michael's grip unfastens drastically and his eyes dilate. Yet he doesn't appear as enraged as my mind concocted him to be when I exposed my deadly secret to him.
"He kissed me" the words just disgorged out my mouth without even planning what I was going to say "You don't deserve me Michael, you can do so much better" Pepsi Harlow's bleach blonde hair and foundation camouflaged face flashes in my mind. I wouldn't be shocked at all if she restores my place as Michael's girlfriend. Michael still doesn't look angry, as if he already had suspicions or the information "I've gotta go"
"No, don't go" he breathes, cupping my damp cheeks "I don't care if you let him go, I don't care if he kissed you Sierra, I just want you. You're right; I don't deserve you, only because you're too perfect. I was a complete asshole to you, yet you stayed. You have no idea how grateful I am that you stayed, I love you Sierra"
I feel that exact same way, I love him. But for his own sake, I am restraining the love I once had for him from flowing back into my heart.
"I need to go" Why does he still want me? All the debates he has to define why he loves me and wants be to be his again after what I have revealed are blemishes in my mind "Goodbye Michael" he finally knows that the love we once shared will never rekindle as he stands there, his eyes chasing after what was formerly his. Not anymore, as much as it aches for me to fathom reality – Michael and I are no longer what I desired us to be. We are finished.
As I burden myself into the glacial air, I see he is lingering still around the streets, his coal motorbike a decreased distance away from me. He apprehends my departure from the Boardwalk, leaping from the bike and racing over to me. To my awe, I run to him. Dwayne hooks me in his vigorous arms, smooching my nest of dark hair frequently.
"If you don't stop crying, I'm gonna have to tickle you like I used to" Dwayne jokingly announces, I giggle as I raise my head, dabbing the dewy patch I created on his leather jacket that he had stolen back from me "Come on Sierra" he pinions his arm around my waist "Let's get outta here, Chinese is on me" Dwayne places me on the motorbike before climbing on himself. I rest my head on his leather covered back and secure my hands on his waist to get comfy. After revealing my secrets to Michael, I feel as if I can have confidence in Dwayne again. It's one of those indescribable sensations I get sometimes for no apparent reasons "You ready Sierra?"
"Yeah, let's just get outta here" I mumble through yawns. With that, Dwayne revs the engine and we cascade into the forbidden night, relinquishing all those memories behind. I just hope they never reappear to hound me.
Wow, got a lot of reviews for the last chapter and some for other chapters! Big thank you to: booklover457, LovingTLB, EvilFalconofDoom, SkittleMachine, MadeInThe90s and mickishai2000 for their reviews :D but also thank you to everyone else who has took the time to read :) hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D