Q U E L L I N G S

A N D

A M B I G U I T I E S

Picking yourself up from a dutifully set-up rubble was dreadfully difficult.

Underneath all of those rocks, those problems, those mistakes — was you. The real you, the one you should have been if the world didn't throw a hurdle of obstacles at you, expecting an equally orchestrated solution back. To no one's favor, the botherations overwhelmed the esteemed fixing.

Take the whole set of Yoake's people, for example.

The owner; an orphan with an addiction. Though socially active, she's also rather withdrawn. Lets other people get close, but not too much. No strings meant nothing could be broken. The usual teenage angst, what more could it have been? Ah, the employees. One relieved of her innocence, another deprived of courage and showered with burdens, the remaining just as broken.

Quite a bunch, if you'd ask the regulars. They're somehow taken with the staff, a jovial, endearing lot could just get more loved.

It doesn't matter what they've went through or what they're going through. Things like who got off worse doesn't change the fact that something irreversible has already been done.

When the dust finally settles, they're all they have.

It's not as if they were given a choice.

So they'll plaster a nice, warm smile, and try to mean it. Maybe someday they really will.

"Yes, welcome to Yoake! Real sorry for closing up without notices, things have been going pretty awry but that's all.. taken care of," beamed Kaya, "The usual, I'm guessing?"

The regular in front of her nodded in approval as she handed the exact amount of money, "Thanks, Kaya-chan."

The woman in front of her was the old lady across them. She once lived down the bunker, too, but she got a family all of a sudden and needed a good amount of space for apparently, five. Her children were amicable and a joy to see, twins and currently another one year old. They were far off Kaya's current age, much to her dismay. She really felt like a big sister figure, though, and it felt heart-warming everytime she thinks about it. Couldn't even take care of herself but looks after three kids from across.

A chime knocked her back to her senses, and she found herself watching the lady's cloak billow behind her whilst pressing soft kisses to her children's faces.

She turned away from the scene quickly. Looking down her transparently pale right hand, her gaze locked into a single cigarette stuck between her middle and index finger.

With one last sigh, she brought it to her lips.

- - -

Things in Yoake continued to subdue. Though subduing doesn't mean the damage has been reducing, but them of all people knew that mending what scarred took more than a smile.

So if it's time they need, they decided, it's time they'll get.

"Where'd Amira run off to?"

Kaya fought back a grimace at Katou's tone as he questioned her with gritted teeth.

"Leave Ami be, Katou-san," a sigh, "Let's not complicate stuff, Po-san's overly worried but he's.. he's okay."

"I thought you of all people would be able to tell that Pogako's not okay."

"I can," resigned Kaya, "Just.. he doesn't need our concerns, nor does Ami."

And it was true. Both Pogako and Amira were adults, in a sense, and Kaya knew them enough to know that they would want to be left alone without anyone concerning with them, treating them as fragile pieces of glass that would break with so much as a twitch thrown their way. Because no, they're fine, they only need to mull their thoughts and calm their nerves. Pogako was already working, although clearly not up to shape. Kaya merely pretended that she approved of him doing this, being insensitive to his own feelings, as well as setting aside his growing worriment for Amira. Let him on his own rumination for a while, Kaya said to herself. Apparently, Katou did not have the same sentiments.

"Fine," Katou conceded, "Everything's all ruddy now, and when I got a decent job at that."

"Right," Kaya chuckled, feeling the stiffness of the conversation dissipate, "About this job thing you got, what made you think you'd make a good waiter? You have to socialize, in case you don't realize, Katou-san. You're hopeless at being.. approachable."

"I'm not, cut it out. I can talk to people fine."

"By fine you mean being all taut, then sure."

Before Katou was given a chance to retort, the chime rang and both turned their attention to who found their way inside the store.

At the sight of the person present, Katou raised an eyebrow. Quickly realizing it's his chance to slip out, he bid Kaya farewell with a rather meaningful wink. She gave him a blank look in return.

Kaya watched Katsuki shuffle around the shelf, looking for the a certain flavor located after the regular hot cups. She purposely pushed the Extra Hot ones to the back, knowing it would vex the impatient blond. Now, looking at his creasing brows and faint murmurs of 'fucking shit', she knew it indeed worked wonderfully and a snicker stifled itself on her arm.

Finally having a cup of his desired flavor in his hands, he stalked towards the counter and paid for the instant ramen with a grumble.

Kaya noted that he looked a lot more peevish today compared to the last ones. He wasn't commenting on her careworn appearance, when he would usually give a jab of insult at how atrocious she looked like. Him with slanderous remarks meant he was normal. Him with only a silent grumble and a disturbing peaceful casual meal made her raise an eyebrow.

"Okay, so what's going on, Katsuki-chan?" She said this in the most jubilant tone and manner as she could, to not appear somehow nosy.

Katsuki only continued slurping his noodles.

"That was a very intellectual answer, thank you very much."

A grunt.

"Oh yes! I see we're having a very intellectual conversation too, I've never felt so honored."

Then he stared at her for maybe five good seconds.

"Fuck this," Kaya whined under her breath, "He's so moody, smokes, like a teenag — oh wait, he's a teenager. Well, like a girl on her period, then. Oh shit, maybe he's actually a girl — ?"

"Bastard, I'm not a girl!"

Kaya internally screamed joy, "Wow, so that got you to speak? You feel so scandalized about being a woman?"

"Don't go all gender equality shit on me, I was correcting your bull."

"Nah," she shrugged, "Why're you so crabby then?"

"Nothing, why're you even asking?"

"Would you prefer me not to?"

Katsuki didn't have an answer for that, so instead, he parried it with another reply, "Training, then some kid showed up and ran because mongrel thought I was a pissing villain."

Moments passed and Kaya doubled over the counter cackling.

"Oi, nothing's funny! Shut up!" Chopsticks were thrown her way and hit her square in the forehead but she still did not halt her laughter.

"Oh.. ev.. everything about that.." she said through parting breaths, "is funny. Trust me."

He huffed and demanded for another pair of chopsticks. Kaya enthusiastically said no.

"What! I'm the customer here, woman, and I say give me chopsticks."

"Yeah not my fault you wasted yours hauling them at me."

"You deserved it."

"Oh? For?"

"For your audacity to laugh at me! Me!"

"You deserved it." returned Kaya with a snicker.

"Funny," Katsuki said, sarcasm dripping in his voice, "The ramen tastes like shit, asshat."

"You're like a child. It's cute," commented Kaya, "The ramen's not even made by me so I hardly feel offended."

"Fuck you, I am not a child."

"Not a child but gets cranky because a kid thought you were a villain? Sure."

"Shove it," grumbled Katsuki, "I'm a hero-in-training and future Number One, I take complete offense for that."

"Alright, I'll accept that."

On the outside, both of them looked like two people with mutual dislike for each other. Bantering — one not going down without a retort back to the other. In actuality, if Kaya would dare go that far, they're somehow friends. It helped her case when he indirectly told her this when she was in a battle with herself, in the middle of drawing wards around her once again, this time with a much solid foundation.

This was just the way they communicated. If she would imagine them being all, well, genial with each other, it just didn't fit. Katsuki, for starters, would be awfully intricate to picture with a broad smile. Sure, she'd seen him laugh, it wasn't butterflies and rainbows, but she'd seen it in a genuine light. A smile? That'll be work. And because it was so hard to achieve, it seemed so difficile to imagine. But she's okay with this. A non-harmful exchange of jab cheap shots at one another. After all, this wasn't really planned to go this way. She was just hunting for a regular, being all chatty as she always was with any other customer. For them to be wholesome friends will be a long journey still. And even Kaya doubted the probability of it. She knew, one day, eventually, this'll all be gone soon.

But until that day comes, she'll enjoy being here; in this moment.

"You look shabby, by the way."

"Thanks, Katsuki-chan. I think you look dashing, too."