(26 days after)

The sound of Lane's band playing downstairs wafted through the floorboards as Jess pulled Rory to him, holding her tightly as he deepened their kiss, walking her back to the bed. As her knees hit the edge of it she leaned back, he held himself over her, beginning to pull at her top, running his hands along her bare skin at the edge of her pants, dipping his finger slightly below the waistline. She was pushing him away, or trying to, but he somehow was freakishly strong suddenly- she tried to yell, "Jess, no! Jess, stop! Not like this- stop!"

But then it changed and she was in her apartment in New Haven and the man with the partial mask was telling her to shut up, the knife glinting as it pressed against her, he was telling her he liked them feisty and she was crying, asking God what she did to deserve this? And then that Detective, Detective Noonan was right there and asking her questions- "How many men have you fucked? Obviously it must be quite a few more, I can see how much you like it, you probably begged for it tonight- you probably loved it, he said you loved it." He was leering and she was trying to argue, she was trying to deny it, but she couldn't. Why was this happening to her?

"Don't you know?" Why did that sound like Dean's voice? She was in her room at home, in her bed and at first she saw the glinting of the knife being held at her, but it quickly turned into Dean's wedding band sitting there on her bedside table and she was listening to The Candyman… but then she was back in that damn New Haven apartment and The Candyman was playing on her radio as he moved on top of her, as he hit her on the side of the face and flipped her over onto her stomach.

She was crying and screaming, "Just stop! Please stop. God, please stop. Fuck… why is this happening?" But she felt warm arms envelope her and they scared her- she tried to push away from him, sobbing and pounding her fists against his chest as she cried out the names Jess and Dean and Lindsay and "please fucking stop, why is this happening to me? I didn't ask for it- I'm not like that."

"Rory, hey, Rory, it's just me, Logan! You're fine, you're here, we're here and you're safe" But he let her push away from him, she scrambled as far across the room as she could, all the way into the corner where she just huddled and cried.

Logan barely registered the door opening, Christopher standing right there in his pajamas, his hair messed up like he'd been sleeping but the worry on his face evident.

"What's going on in here?" He looked briefly to Rory in the corner, a sobbing mess who was having trouble breathing and saying names he didn't recognize and begging someone to stop. He turned to Logan, worried and obviously upset. "Is she…?"

Logan got up and moved towards her, but as he got closer and tried to put an arm around her but she shrieked and pushed him away. "Stay away, Logan, it's all my fault, it's my fucking fault! Stay away from me!" This was the first time that had really happened, that she absolutely refused to let him near her- he just looked up at Christopher, what was he supposed to do? Chris motioned, maybe he'd give it a shot, Logan should give him a minute.

"I'll- uh, I'll go get her some water." Logan brushed past Christopher to leave the room, leaving father and daughter alone. Christopher had no idea what to do- he hadn't spent much alone time with her since they got home from the hospital, Logan had mostly taken on the brunt of it all and appeared to be doing reasonably well so Chris hadn't wanted to mess with what seemed to be working. But based on the look on Logan's face- the dejection he saw there, maybe this was Dad's turn to step up.

"Hey, Ror. Can I come in?" They had all tried to learn from the social worker to remember to ask permission before moving towards her. She quieted her sobs a bit as she looked at him and nodded. He moved to the corner where she was still huddled, but her breathing was evening out more. "So, that must have been one hell of a nightmare you just had- you want to talk about it?" She shook her head, Chris tried to rack his brain for what he did when this happened with Gigi- the problem being that usually with his 5 year old daughter, he would look under her bed and in her closet and prove to her that there were no monsters there and he would hold her as she fell back asleep. Something told him it wasn't going to be that easy right here- these were very different monsters.

So he just put an arm around her and pulled her close to him, realizing in that moment how rarely he had ever had the chance to do this- comfort his terrified, sobbing daughter. He missed so much, he'd never really forgive himself for that, even if she had.

"It all makes sense now, Dad- I deserved it."

"Rory, that's not true- don't say that! What happened to you was absolutely terrible and there isn't a single person who deserves it."

"That's not true dad,- don't you see? I'm wrong, I'm just so wrong... It's all karmic payback for everything that happened with Dean and with Jess and I don't know, maybe even Tristan and Marty and every guy I ever lead on or made think I felt differently than I did. It's all my fault."

"Oh, Kid, you know that's not true, I know that you know that's not true. Rory, you are beautiful and brilliant and very kind and forgiving- you have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever seen. I am sure there have been times in the past when you have broken some hearts- you are a Gilmore Girl after all. But that has absolutely nothing to do with what happened to you a few weeks ago. It was a complete stranger who took advantage of you- he broke in, he attacked you and he left. It is his fault and only his fault. Maybe you don't see that right now, maybe you can't see that right now, but I swear that we love you and we are going to help you see it." She didn't respond at all, just continued to sit there, but her sobs quieted somewhat.

"Hey, Ace, I brought you some ice water, sip it slowly, it should help." She took it from him with her hands shaking. Christopher just looked up at Logan, wondering what they should do next. Logan shrugged, he had no idea what to do next- this was one of the worst panic attacks she had after a nightmare. Logan sat down next to her, on the other side of Christopher and he put an arm around her, testing the waters; she didn't fall into his side, but she didn't push away either. Logan looked over her head at Christopher and the dad nodded, kissing her temple as he stood up to leave. When he got to the door he paused, looking back at them, his heart breaking for the young couple- this was not what they should be dealing with at this point in their lives- well, it wasn't something they should ever have to deal with, but…

As Rory finally calmed down enough that Logan felt like he could try to talk to her, he was struggling, still unsure what to say.

"You want to tell me what's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?" She was still crying but the sobbing had stopped. She just threw her face into his chest, shaking her head and he held her close. After a few minutes sitting there, together, she finally mumbled something into his t-shirt- her hot tears seeping through instantly, hitting his heart both literally and figuratively. He tried to make out what she was saying, but it was incoherent.

"What was that about maroon halters and Snuffleupagus in Haiti?"

"It's all my fault- I understand it, totally." He tried to look her in the eyes, searching for an actual answer, trying to figure out what she could possibly mean.

"What's your fault?"

"Everything that happened to me- it's all my fault- it's Karma, don't you see? I mean, look at me, it almost happened with Jess that one time, but then after everything that I did with Dean, the way that I led on Marty and who the hell else knows? I might not exactly be the whore that he thinks I am, but of course, it all makes sense now."

Logan was speechless. He was trying to figure out what to say to her, but he had never been so surprised by words that came out of this woman's mouth.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying to piece this all together, Ace. Who exactly thinks you're a whore?"

"The Detective, remember? The Detective that interviewed me in the hospital, I don't remember his name right now, but he asked me all those questions and you know he thinks I'm pretty much the Mistress to the Mayor of Slutstown, and I know that he's wrong, I'm not that bad, but this was definitely Karma. I mean, look at me, I apparently led Marty on for what, two years? I didn't know that he liked me like that, but I can see that I played into it- I flirted, I teased, I used him. And then there was Tristan."

"Tristan?" Logan was trying to search his near encyclopedic level of knowledge of her, not really remembering that name.

"Yes, Tristan, from Chilton. I had just broken up with Dean because he told me he loved me and I couldn't say it back, so I went to a party and we kissed and then Dean and I got back together and Tristan kissed me in Romeo and Juliet and the next thing I knew, he was sent to military school. But right around then I met Jess, and I led him on for so long, and I was obviously leading on Dean, but I kissed Jess, but didn't break up with Dean and then it all got even messier, because I am horrible. And then they got in a fight over me, at that party because Jess was trying to make me… and I was so upset. I had to push him away and fight him off but he wasn't listening to me say no and I was crying and he was yelling and then Dean went and punched him and they broke some of the hummels and it was just one of the most awful moments of my life because those guys were there, fighting and it was all my fault! The cops came and it was all my fault!

"And then, what do I do a year later? I have that awful Freshman year where I was so broke and had no guy and almost no social life- I mean, I went to Spring Break with Paris and the only action I got was her kissing me on the floor of the club- then wanting a performance review! But then, I go home at the beginning of the summer and I'm a homewrecker- I had sex with Dean- he was married! I lost my virginity to my married ex-boyfriend who fought guys when he thought they were trying to hurt me and I thought that was sweet… And then, you and I meet and we get together, but then we breakup- then we're back together, but I was so horrible to you about the bridesmaids and I was angry and hurt and I went to Philadelphia to try and cheat on you with Jess and I couldn't, because I was so in love with you, but I was so hurt. That's what I'm saying, look at me, I deserved it- it's Karma, it's the Universe telling me that I am what the Detective thinks of me, it just makes sense." And she was back to sobbing into his chest, he was holding her, trying to figure out what he could possibly glean from any of this, how to respond. "When did I become so fucked up? When did I become this terrible human being?"

So he had known the story of Dean- both the first time, the second time and the first time stories. (It was a little strange to think that of the two of them, he had never slept with a married person, but he also didn't have any friends who got married straight out of high school). Sure, the two major headlines she had just dropped about Jess had him pretty angry- he was struggling with his own emotions pretty seriously in the moment. She had alluded to something about Philadelphia when they finally talked things out back then, but he didn't really know the details. The thing about the party? That was brand new information he was filing away to get into later- wasn't this guy one of her good friends? The guy who wrote a book? Marty, Tristan… did she honestly believe that because these guys fell for her but she didn't fall for them she deserved what that fucktard of a cop had said, insinuated, and through his monumental ass-hattery, generally implied? If either of them deserved something like that, it was clearly him and his particularly awful brand of Lothario-ness.

He really had no idea what to say, so held her as close as he could, pulling her onto his lap- she acquiesced easily, while he was trying to just think and come up with an idea.

"Rory, I know that right now you're hurting a million ways and you're trying to figure out why all of this happened and I know that I don't know what to do or say to help. But come on, you have to know that none of this is at all your fault- it can't be. What happened to you was because a very sick person broke into your apartment and hurt you for the sick pleasure of wanting to hurt someone. I can't make anymore sense of it than that, I can't figure out why you and not someone else, I can't figure out why anyone would do this at all- it's a complete mystery about humankind to me. And you know me, I'm not someone I would consider violent, but the last few weeks have tested my philosophy on the subject quite a bit- on violence, on our criminal justice system, on the death penalty- I'm telling you, it's been a whirlwind inside this head of mine." He breathed in, trying to calm himself down.

"Sorry, none of that matters right now- that tangent was my stuff, not you. I know it's going to take some time to convince you that that is is in no way your fault. You were not asking for it, nothing you have ever done was an invitation for this to happen to you. I need you to know that." She couldn't look at him and she was starting to pull away from him- which he let her do, he wasn't going to force her to stay close by.

"Rory, maybe we should think about talking to someone- like a counselor or something. There are services and groups we could look into."

Now she pulled entirely back, looking upset in a different way- angry.

"No, Logan, we talked about that. I am handling things, I'm getting it all behind me. I just had a bad night, that's bound to happen. I don't need to be shrinked or shrunked or whatever it is that doctors do- and I can't go on any kinds of those insane meds, I want to stay on Tom Cruise's good side, you know this. I just need time, I need more time. And bourbon- bourbon will help."

"Ace, come on, why don't you go to bed and I'll put on The Office and we can sleep."

"It's fine, Logan, I'm just going to get a quick drink, it will calm my nerves and I'll be back to sleep in no time., don't worry about it." She got up, he wanted to argue, but he also knew that look on her face- there wasn't much of a point- that was the voice she used when she just didn't want to talk. After she left the room he stood up, exhausted and confused and decided to go out the family room, maybe watch some tv or something, she clearly didn't want him around when she got back.

When he walked through the door, Christopher was already in there, watching Die Hard 3.

"Hey, man, mind if I join you?" He motioned to the other end of the couch.

"Yeah, feel free." They sat there for a few minutes, not laughing at all at Samuel L Jackson, the greatest indicator that neither was really watching. Christopher got up and moved over to his bar, pouring himself a scotch, "Hey, you want one?"

"What is it?"

"Uh, Auchentoshan 3 Wood? I don't know, a client gave it to me, I have no idea."

"I don't know why I asked, it could be paint thinner right now and I'd probably have said yes."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." He handed Logan his more than generously full glass before sitting down himself. They tried to watch for a few more minutes before Chris paused the movie. "So, did she talk to you at all?"

"Only to tell me how this is all her fault- cosmic retribution for primarily having dated men who are most charitably described as Top Douchebags of America. Did you ever meet any of them?"

"Umm, let's see- I guess that's the only remotely positive thing about not having been around nearly as much as I should have been, I was spared from hating every guy that she spoke to. I met her first boyfriend, Dean- he was a nice guy, built her a car. I don't really know what happened between them. Then that guy Jess was in love with her, he crashed and totaled her car and broke her wrist in the process- I'm still not sure Lorelai is over that one, although he seems to have pulled himself together from what I hear. But Rory was never really Miss Dating Girl… any guy who ever got her interested enough to compete against her books had to be pretty special, right?"

Logan just worked on his scotch, he didn't know what to say about anything that had happened tonight. He was looking at the golden liquid in his glass, just struggling.

"I brought up the idea of her seeing someone, again."

"And let me guess how that went." Logan shook his head before downing the rest of his drink and then crossing over to the bar, gesturing for an ok from Chris for a refill

"You know, this is really good- I'm going to have to remember it, I like it."

"Yeah, it's not bad- I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm a Hayden, I've never really turned up my nose at any booze, especially booze gifted to me for free."

"I hear ya, but it's good." Logan sat back down and they sat like that, the two men who maybe loved Rory most in the world, who didn't know what they could possibly do to help.

"So therapy is still a complete non-starter?"

"That's how it's looking, but I don't know. You know, I recently found out... well, that a really good friend of mine went through something like this, granted not quite as vicious, but still, I doubt it matters to what extent this happened, it just happening is bad enough. Well, it turns out she was just hiding and frozen and not dealing with it at all until she broke down so badly that one of her friends just packed her up and took her to a Center so that she was almost made to talk to someone. I don't know… it got me thinking… I understand why she doesn't really want to go, I can't imagine trying to talk about this and, by the way, I hate that damned Detective- the way he talked to her, the way he made her feel like this was all on her, she doesn't want to talk to anyone else- that was bad enough. Ugh, I really want to kill that guy."

"Yeah, I mentioned it to her mom, the therapy... She won't push Rory on it. I gotta say, I brought up the idea of counseling when we split up, but was mocked for thoroughly for it- it's not really their thing."

"Look, I'm not necessarily all about sharing one's personal life with a complete stranger who is getting paid to listen, unless it's a bartender of course, but I've also never been through anything remotely like this. I don't know how she's supposed to process and deal with all of this with just the three of us to talk to."

"Hey, maybe if she would actually talk to any of us about it I'd have a little faith in that plan, but she won't. What do you think we should do? She talks to Lorelai even less than she talks to either of us- it's like she doesn't want to burden her with any of it, she's more standoffish to her than to either of us." Chris was having trouble watch how much it was eating at Lorelai that Rory was pushing her away so badly- watching the two women he loved hurting so much was painful. He was interrupted in his thoughts by Logan.

"So, I had a thought- but it could really blow up in my face, so I wanted to run it past you."

"Hey, at this point I'm Kenny Rogers."

"Yeah, I think I'm right there with you. So- this person I know who's been through this… without getting into details, it turns out it's my sister. Rory really likes her, trusts her, talks to her about stuff- it's not exactly best friends for life, but they're close. She went through this about 5 years ago and now she even volunteers at a Center nearby to talk to women going through this, help them move on and move forward." Chris instantly looked apologetic to Logan, how could this guy have both a sister and a girlfriend who had to experience this?

"Yeah, I know, I only just found out, I haven't really had the time to process and wrap my head around everything with Honor while trying to handle all of this with Rory. Anyways, I was thinking that maybe I could try to arrange for Honor and Rory to get together- when this all happened, I saw her and Honor got it out of me, she's always seen straight through me and obviously when she found out Rory was attacked and in the hospital she asked some very specific, pointed questions and I hadn't slept in like 72 hours at that point, she had given me scotch… I wasn't trying to tell the world her secret."

"Oh, hey, I'm not upset about her knowing- I think we're all going to lose our minds if we don't eventually find someone to talk to."

"Have you? Found someone to talk to?"

"Yeah, I pay him $300/hour to listen, once a week."

"That's a lot to pay a bartender." Chris smiled, he just really liked this guy, seemed right for his daughter.

"Yeah, well, I insanely insisted on one who's got a PhD in Psychology."

"Hey, that's one classy bar."

"Well, you know how it goes- more money than sense."

"So, is it worth bringing Honor in? Do you think that's going to work, or just blow up in my face?"

"Logan, this has been the 6th out of 8 nights she's had a nightmare bad enough to wake me up- and I do not wake up easily. Before that, it was every night- I'm sorry, it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm starting to think that we might have to try something crazy- it may get her angry as hell at us, but if it helps, I don't think I care anymore."

"Well, easy for you to say- you're her dad, she can't dump you." He suggested morbidly.

"Logan, I know you two are not where you hoped to be right now, but she loves you. I can't imagine another guy being here for her like this, handling everything so well… Rory is so lucky to have you- I am so lucky she has you, especially right now. And if there is something I can do to help and leave you out of it, I'm happy to try, but this idea seems like our best bet to help her- and right now, I can't see that much else seems worth bothering over.

"Thanks, I really do appreciate it. I mean, I know Lorelai isn't necessarily my biggest fan."

"Hey, Lorelai is the most protective mom you could ever find- Rory isn't just her daughter, she's her best friend, that's quite the double whammy to get around. I get that you two had a rough start- it's possible that you remind her a little too much of me- right down to the almost too-charming smile, the haircut and the prep school expulsion record, it's hard for Lorelai to realize that someone like you can actually be different from my worst, most non-present self so don't take it quite so personally. Believe me when I say it's a lot more to do with me than you- when she's around you she probably gets flashbacks to stealing clove cigarettes and skipping school to drink vodka straight from the bottle. But, I can tell you that she and I have talked, and she's actually just about as glad that Rory has you in her life as I am. I promise, at this point the past is just water under the bridge."

"Well, in all fairness, the way I recall it, Rory never committed a felony before she met me, so it's not a giant leap to me equaling the enemy."

"Yeah, by the way, I never really got that full story, one of these days you will have to explain exactly why I shouldn't kick your ass." But Chris was smiling, so Logan was able to respond in kind.

"I promise, but I don't think it's particularly indicative of our relationship. Even my father, the biggest bastard you'll ever meet, would be the first person to tell you she completely changed me, and I've never been so happy to be whipped. Ever."

"Biggest bastard I've ever met is a pretty competitive category, did you ever meet Straub Hayden?"

"I can't say that I ever did, but I think he ran a law firm? I think my dad used him for some of his matters."

"Hey, it takes one bastard to know another." They settled back against the couch, scotch mostly finished, movie still on pause. Logan looked over at the clock on the wall, it was almost 2 am.

"Ok, well, Chris, I think I should go check on Rory- I can't say I'm loving her new diet of coffee and bourbon, but that's just me in overly-worried boyfriend mode, I'm sure I'm seriously exaggerating. But I think that I've hit the point where I'm ready to call in the big dogs- and Honor is the best solution I've got. But before I do, are we in this together?" He looked at Chris, really needing the man's support to go through with a plan he was this nervous about.

"Yeah, I think we are. Don't get me wrong, you're the one she's going to not speak to if she is that angry about it, but I have your back, just let me know what you need."

"Ok, well, unfortunately, Honor is away in St. Maarten for the for week, but I'll message her and see if I can get her to come by next week once she's back. We just have to make it another week. But we got this." And Chris took his hand, shaking it, so happy his daughter had this guy in his life.