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LEAH

It has been a week since my dad died, and the anguish of his death still lingers in my heart, I can't help but feel responsible for his death. I wish that I had never come back to La Push, I should have stayed far away, things would have been much better.

The whole werewolf thing hasn't been going so well, the only part I enjoy is well the speed I am the fastest one in the pack, it drives the guys crazy when I challenge them to races. They aren't used to girls being superior.

I have been on patrols with all the guys except Jacob, Sam has surprisingly been very cooperative with my pleas to stay as far away from Jake as possible., he used his alpha tenor to command Jake to not phase while I was on patrol.

Its not that I don't love him anymore, because trust me my heart is aching for him, but I cant help feeling a bit betrayed by him, he hid the fact that he imprinted on me after he promised to always be truthful with me.

The past week had also given me a bit of an insight, I had found out that Quil had imprinted on Claire, that bit of information had grossed me out a bit, but when I was in Quil's mind during patrol, I saw what it looked like from his eyes; he saw Claire like a little sister, he was there solely to protect and make her happy. There were definitely no romantic feelings. I think the thought of Claire as a girlfriend grossed Quil out a bit too.

I had been in my room letting all these thoughts wander in my head, and completely lost track of time. I was supposed to go to Emily's half an hour ago to accompany her, Claire and Sammy to the park. I quickly rushed to Sammy's room; he was already awake on the floor playing with his toy cars. I sat down on the floor next to him

"Hey, sweetie, have you been awake long?" I ruffled his hair.

"Nope, I just woke up" Sammy's demeanor had been very sad since my dad's funeral, he barely laughed or smiled anymore, and it was breaking my heart.

"Do you want to know what I have planned for us to do today?" I asked him teasingly.

He simply nodded.

"Well we are going to go the park with Emily and Claire, are you excited?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Sammy had always been so full of life, and it killed me to see him to sad, I opened my arms inviting him to come to me, he did slipping onto my lap and gently placing his head in my chest.

"Sweetie, I know your sad about your grandpa, but remember how I told you that your grandpa is always watching us" he nodded. "Well he wouldn't want to see you sad, on the contrary he would love no more than to see you happy and smiling again"

"Weally?" he asked while looking me straight in the eyes

"Yeah, I am positive, so how about you give me one of the infectious smiles of yours and get ready to go to the park" he smiled at me and hugged me tightly

"Thank you, mommy, I wuv you very much"

"And I love you sweetheart, you're my biggest treasure." He kissed me on the cheek and then left to get ready.

I felt my eyes stinging, my son had been through so much in the last couple of days, due to the whole phasing Sam, Seth and I hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with him, and I knew he missed our presence the most.

Deep inside I knew Jake's absence had also caused a big void, he had grown attached to him and he always asked about his whereabouts, I always found ways to maneuver myself out of having to answer his pleading questions.

It had taken us an hour to finally leave my house and head over to Emily's place. When we got there we were hypnotized at the smell coming from the cottage. Sammy and I had already eaten breakfast but the scent had our stomachs growling for more. Before we even had the chance to knock Emily had very gracefully opened the door.

"Hey, Emily sorry we are late"

"It's okay Leah, I assumed you weren't going to make it on time, that is why I invited you an hour earlier" I chuckled, she knew me so well

"Hey Sammy, how are you?"

"I am good, it smells weally good"

We both chuckled as Emily led us into the house, the moment Sammy spotted Sam on the couch sleeping he ran up to him and jumped on his lap, Sam awoke startled but smiled as his eyes settled on Sammy.

"Hey, kiddo, how you been?"

"Gwood, but I miss grandpa, and playing wiz you, Unca Seth, and Jake"

Sam shot me a worried expression and I quickly went to sit on the couch with him Sammy in between us

"Sweetie I already told you, Grandpa wouldn't want to see you sad because of him"

"Yeah kiddo your mom is right, and when it comes to playing with us I promise to play with you as soon as you come back from the park, and I am sure Seth and Jake have been really busy, but it will make sure they find time to play with you"

"Promise?" Sammy asked.

"Yes, I promise, now why don't you go ahead to the kitchen I am sure Claire is anxious to see you"

He nodded enthusiastically and dashed to meet Claire

"Wow I had no idea how much everything had affected Sammy"

"Yeah I know, he hasn't been acting like himself lately, he must feel really lonely"

"Leah, look I am going to cut a couple of your patrols, you need to spend time with Sammy he needs you right now"

"He needs you too Sam, he really enjoys your company"

"He misses Jake too, Lee, maybe you should talk to him I know he is suffering because you are refusing to see him"

I stood up and gazed out the window

"Sam, you have no idea how much I miss him too, I love him and the fact that I imprinted on him doesn't help my cause of trying to stay away from him, I feel as if I am missing half of my heart"

"Then explain to me why you are being so reluctant to his love"

"I don't know, I guess a part of me is scared that he is going to leave me, he loved Bella no more than two weeks ago, and now he claims to love me, and I just find it a bit bogus."

"Look, when I imprinted on Emily I was head over heels in love with you" we both winced "but the force that was pulling me too her was stronger, I knew that I loved you but I happened to love Emily more, from the moment that I gazed into her eyes, that was it for me, I knew that everything we had shared was just a beautiful memory and Emily was going to be my future."

We both were staring at each other with tears in our eyes

"You need to understand something Leah, the love between you and me was mutual, which is why it was so powerful, on the other hand the love Jake had for Bella was never returned, she loved the vampire, you two were broken and fate must have put you together because you two were meant to mend each other"

I ran into Sam's arms and sobbed, I knew all the words he spoke were true.

"I understand all you're telling me Sam, but I just can't help feeling as if Jake didn't have a choice, I feel as if he is being forced to love me."

"Lee, I think the problem is that your heart has put up too many barriers throughout the years of pain its endured, its going to need time to heal, before it lets anyone in, just give it time, you will know when your ready."

"I am so sorry to interrupt but Leah I don't want to take the kids to the park too late"

I released my hold on Sam and brushed the tears off my face

"Yeah, we should definitely get going" I began to walk towards the door, I turned around to face Sam

'Thanks, Sam I really appreciate everything your doing for me"

"My pleasure Leah, I want to be part of your life, I could settle with being your friend"

I gave him a small smile and headed towards the car, were Emily, Sammy, and Claire were waiting for me. When we got to the park Emily and I sat on a bench as we watched the kids run around, I was glad to see Sammy happy I had missed his smile and right now it seemed like his cheeks were hurting from the intensity of his grin.

"Leah, I have been meaning to ask you something"

I looked at her; she was nervously fidgeting the seams of her skirt.

"What is it Em?"

"Well you know that Sam and I are getting married, and I was wondering if you would like to be one of my bridesmaid?"

My body froze I couldn't believe she was asking me of all people to be one of her bridesmaids, she wanted me to walk down the aisle of a wedding I had dreamt about for years, a wedding that was supposed to be mine. I didn't love Sam anymore, at least not with the same intensity I once had, the intensity that fizzled the day Jake came into my life, but it still stung to know he was marrying Emily. I knew my silence was making Emily anxious because her leg didn't stop trembling.

"Leah, I will completely understand if you say no, but you are one of the most important people in my life, and I would love for you to be part of such a special day for me" she looked at me with pleading eyes.

A small part of me wanted to say no, it wanted to tell Emily that she was delusional to think that I would want to be part of her wedding, but a bigger part of me told me that I should say yes, because I knew why they were together, the same feelings they had towards each other, I felt for Jacob.

I looked up at Emily, she had a sad smile on her face

"Emily, of course I would love to be one of your bridesmaids"

The sad smile that was on her face a minute ago vanished instantly as she lunged to hug me tightly, I awkwardly patted her on the back

"Just promise to not pick out an embarrassing dress" I murmured

"Deal, thank you so much Lee" she told me as she pulled away

She had a huge grin on her face "Oh and you wouldn't mind if Sammy was the ring barrier?"

"Of course not, Sam is his dad; Sammy has to be part of his wedding. I assume Claire is going to be the flower girl"

"Yeah, she is really excited about it too" she giggled.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking about the wedding, Emily was very careful to avoid bringing up Jake, I was surprised at how freely I was able to help Emily with wedding suggestions, and it was definitely getting easier to see Sam as a friend rather than the guy who had broken my heart.

We left the park around twilight and headed back to Emily's for dinner, Quil was already there waiting for Claire with Seth by his side. They both helped Emily and I get the kids inside, Sammy was thrilled to see Seth and when he spotted Sam in the living room he reminded him of their 'play date'. We all ate dinner and spent the rest of the night laughing at Sam, Seth, and Quil play with Barbie's and robots in order to entertain the two adorable kids that had them at wrapped around their little fingers.

When it was finally time to leave I said my goodbyes to everyone and when I was about to head out the door, Sam called me, "Leah, hold up"

"What's up Sam?" before I knew it he had me in a bear hug

"Sam. can't breathe!" I gasped. He laughed and released his hold.

"What was that for?"

"Thank you for accepting Emily's proposition." He was gleaming with enthusiasm; I couldn't help but smile back

"No problem, I am actually very happy that I accepted"

Suddenly a loud howl broke through the trees, Sam and I turned towards the forest, knowing exactly who it had been.

"Don't worry Lee; I will take care of it"

I nodded and I watched as Sam ran towards the forest, to console the man whose heart was breaking just like mines.

Hope you enjoyed it :) reviews please!!!

Preview next chapter:

Patrol

Jake isn't allowed to phase while Leah is on patrol, he breaks the rules and finally confronts her.