Akatsuki: Now Hiring!

…Guess what! This is an update! An actual update! It's been a whole month since I updated…it's not my fault! I swear! Blame the big project I had! But it's over now and I have a short 4 day weekend, so more updates yay! I also couldn't update because…I started watching Bleach lately and…..yeah. It's pretty good, surprisingly! Anyways, in this chapter the randomness returns! Hope ya like it

Normal POV

Nine figures gathered in the darkness, this time with the addition of two idiots.

"Leader-sama, our mission went by successfully." Itachi reported.

"Good. Deidara, I heard that you had trouble with your mission."

"Yeah, un. It was those bastards from Iwa's fault!"

"No excuses. You two will be punished, of course, for your mistake." Pein turned to address the group.

"In a week's time, we will be conducting an audition for new recruits. All of you guys, along with Konan and I, will be attending and be part of judging." The brunette spoke up.

"That's unfair! I had to fight all of them to get in and Suki got kidnapped and now you're telling me that random people can waltz in and audition! Carrot boy, you are out of your mind!" He continued talking as if the girl never spoke.

"Before that happens, Kirina, ring please." She reluctantly handed him a plastic bag with the ring inside. He took it and reached in to grab the item.

"Wait! Disinfect it first! They still have pedo germs on it!" And then…he lost it. The serious atmosphere, and his loud, booming, leader voice. All gone, because of that one statement.

"DISINFECT! PEDO GERMS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

"IT'S IMPORTANT, LEADER! YOU HAVE TO, HAVE TO, HAVE TO!"

"WHY? WHY ME? WHY HER?" The leader was near tears. Konan went over and patted his back.

"It's okay."

"Geez, take a chill pill or something." Later, after Pein took his pill, he ordered Konan to fetch some alcohol. He dumped all the contents in the bag and shook violently.

"HERE'S YOUR DAMN DISINFECTION!" He cried out, near tears. The other members watched, amused. Kirina was…silent. After shaking for five minutes straight, he dumped the liquid out and regained his composure.

"As I was saying, we have new members today. Kirina and Suki, you are now officially part of Akatsuki."

"Where's my ring?" Suki asked.

"Right here." Konan handed him a box. He opened it, to reveal a light purple ring. In pink Kanji, it had the character hana or flower.

"Preeeetty. Shhhiinnnyy!" Suki's eyes were huge and sparkled with excitement as she put on her ring.

"Wait, Leader-sama. Isn't the statue made for ten people only? If both Kirina and Suki join, that would make it eleven."

"I know how to count, Kisame. I don't know, we'll make it work! Add an extra finger to the statue or something. If that doesn't work then we'll kick the annoying one out." By annoying, he meant Kirina. It was obvious that he favored Suki over Kirina.

"Hey!" Kirina pouted as Pein tossed her the ring, still wet from the alcohol.

"You all have one week to prepare for the audition and I want to make this announcement clear to the world. Therefore, we will broadcast it on television. What channel do people watch the most?"

"Uhh…Disney Channel?" Kisame suggested.

"No! It's got to be the History Channel!" Kakuzu said.

"Yeah, for an old geezer like you!" The room was suddenly full of arguments about the different channels.

"SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! I have decided…CARTOON NETWORK!" There was a room full of 'boo's' and a string of swears from Hidan.

"ENOUGH! Remember, one week."

-One Week Later-(Time sure flies)

The hideout buzzed with activity as all the criminals prepared for the long awaited auditions. The two girls watched as the guys moved around, working, and Konan commanding them.

"No! I want the chairs over there. Hidan, stop slacking off! No, Kisame, you may not 'unleash you piranhas on the guests. Sasori! Get that Pinocchio poster off my wall now!" Kirina and Suki watched in amusement as Kisame carried his fish tank back to his room and Sasori frowning as he ripped off his precious poster.

"Konan sure can be scary, ne?" Kirina asked.

"Yeah. Poor leader-sama."

"I bet he likes it." She smirked.

"TEN MINUTES LEFT PEOPLE!" Smoothing their cloaks, the two girls stood and took their seats, as did the rest of the group. Zetsu led the first person in. Most of the members gasped.

"OROCHIMARU!" Yes, the snake has arrived!

"Hello." Pein stood up.

"What are you doing here? I thought I got rid of you!"

"Aww, don't say it like that. I know you missed me Pein-Pein." Kirina gagged at the nickname. Konan was not happy.

"Get. Out. Now." She slowly said, gritting her teeth.

"Why? I thought that everyone had a chance at this."

"Fine. Do your act and leave." Orochimaru grinned..in a creepy sort of way…revealing his long tongue. Then, he started dancing, singing 'Thriller' all the way. Suki covered her face the entire time, not daring to look, Kirina nearly passed out, and Kakuzu and a heart attack. Even Itachi looked disturbed. Finally, he was done, the group let out a breath of relief.

"Okay, now get out!" Pein ordered.

"Did I make it in?"

"NO!" The group cried in unison.

"But, I missed you guys!"

"Nobody misses you." Pein said, matter-of-factly. Orochimaru slumped and slowly walked out. Before he left, he turned around.

"I WILL COME BACK SOMEDAY!" He shouted then ran out.

"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" Pein yelled back, even though he was long gone. Konan called for the next person.

A person clad in black came in.

"Name?" Konan asked.

"Kizune." She replied, her voice muffled by the mask she was wearing. Suki felt something…familiar about this person, but shook off the feeling.

'Kizune' took one step forward, then disappeared. The group was confused and looked around for any signs of the woman's sudden disappearance. Without a sound, the mysterious kunoichi appeared behind Suki and grabbed her arm. Immediately, all of the Akatsuki stood up, ready to attack.

"Who are you?" Pein asked, pointing a kunai. The woman didn't answer, instead, prepared to disappear somewhere else. Kirina pounced on the woman, stopping her movements and grip on Suki.

"Take her mask off!" Itachi reached down and removed the black mask from her face.

"…"

"Shizune-sempai?" Suki spoke up.

"So you still remember me, huh?"

"Of course I do. What are you doing here?"

"To get you back! I can't let that blonde pedophile get you!" She said, casting a glance at Deidara.

"What'cha looking at, un?" Shizune paid him no attention.

"Suki, you have to come back. We need you!" Suki frowned, deep in thought.

"Suki…" Kirina began, but never finished. All she did was stare helplessly at her friend. Pein raised his hand as an order to attack. The group moved at once and all was a blur. Suki was too confused to pay attention. It was Kirina who stopped them.

"Wait! Don't…"

"Why? We gotta kill this bitch!" Hidan exclaimed.

"Don't call my sempai that!" Suki snapped. She was back in reality.

"Come on Suki, what do you say? We all miss you!"

"But…but."

"Think about the ramen!" Suki thought about ramen. All the memories…slurping up the delicious noodles, that amazing soup. She did miss that.

"Suki! Think about us! All the good times that we had!" Kirina reminded Suki of her time in the Akatsuki. All the times they had together, the laughs, dangerous missions. Then, she thought about Deidara. How far they've came, from the beginning to the mission to now. She can't possibly leave them. They were almost family.

"I'm sorry sempai. I can't go back." Shizune's eyes widened.

"But, Suki."

"Enough. Kill her." Pein ordered. Itachi raised his kunai and striked.

"No!" Suki yelled just a bit too late to be heard. For, Itachi had already plunged his weapon into his victim. The blood that dripped was not Shizune's nor Suki's, but Kirina's. Itachi's eyes met hers with a look that said what the hell are you doing, you idiot. Of course, Itachi would never say that out loud.

"Go." Kirina said to Shizune. Shizune stared into her purple eyes before nodding. Standing up, she gave Suki a hug and a final good bye.

"Thank you." She said and disappeared leaving the room silent.

"So! Are we continuing or what?" Kirina asked, grinning. Trying to lighten up the mood but failing.

"I suppose…" Konan said, looking at Pein for confirmation. He merely nodded. Itachi slowly removed the kunai and Kirina winced in pain. She made a move to sit but Itachi grabbed her uninjured arm.

"What?"

"Come with me."

"…Why?"

"To clean up the wound."

"I can do it by myself."

"Hn." He said in a tone that clearly meant no. Letting out a sigh, she reluctantly followed.

Kirina POV

I followed Itachi out of the room.

"You know I can do this by myself right?" He didn't answer. This is pissing me off.

"I wanted to watch the rest of the auditions too." I complained. We were walking slowly. Too slow. At this rate, I'll miss at least five auditions! It took twenty minutes to reach our little infirmary. I sat down on one of the cots as he took out some bandages. He lifted my sleeve up and began cleaning up the wound.

"Does it hurt?" He asked.

"Nah. I've had worse." Lie. It hurt like hell. When did he learn to stab like that? It felt like never ending fire. He bandaged my injury and I watched him the whole time. His forehead creased a little. My mind registered it as worry. Worry? I wondered if worry even existed in his dictionary of emotions. My arm was finished and bandaged perfectly, as expected from an Uchiha…perfectionists..psch, show off. Awkward silence…I sat there and didn't talk. He kneeled there and didn't talk. An explosion went off, followed by shouting. Itachi abruptly stood up which caught me by surprise and I fell of the cot. He caught me and stared at me with no emotion. I stood up and he walked out.

Another twenty minutes and we were back at the main room. The first the I saw was Kakuzu on the ground gasping for breath. Heart attack again, most likely. Then Hidan, sporting an afro hair do. He was cursing at Deidara who was laughing in a corner with tears in his eyes. I took my seat next to a laughing Suki.

"What did I miss?"

"The last person who auditioned got Deidara really mad. He set off one of his bombs, I think the guy's dead, and Hidan got a new haircut. Then Kakuzu fell from another attack, then yelled about the rising prices of new flooring." Kakuzu was dragged to his room for rest and Hidan's mouth was duct taped shut.

I rested my chin on my arm as Konan let in the next person. Weirdly, the audition that seemed the most 'normal' was Orochimaru.

The next person came in. A guy, blonde hair and green eyes, with a cocky smirk plastered on his face. He seems kind of hot and all but definitely not my type. His emerald eyes scanned the room and a one point winked at me. I replied by throwing my shoe at his face. He was lucky he was able to dodge. If he pulls a move on me like that again, I'll kick that smirk right off his face. Apparently, my action didn't affect his mood. He moved on to the next girl. Suki.

"Hello." He said. Suki blushed and said hi back. I facepalmed. Suki, don't fall for his tricks!

"How are you today, beautiful?" His flirting skills were so horrible, I wanted to punch myself!

"Fine, thank you."

"Your eyes are like the sun, shining into my heart! They sparkle like the never ending ocean. Oh, those eyes, those eyes!" I fell off my chair and laughed. Kisame joined me, even Sasori managed a smile. Pein was trying hard not to show it, but I know deep down he wanted to burst out laughing too.

"Apparently, your friends do not appreciate my words of love for you."

"Oh, don't mind them. So, tell me. What's your name." I stopped and stared at her. She was staring deep into his eyes. Not good.

"My name is Romeo von John la Marco vu Edwardo los Vre'se." I snickered at his name. That just made Kisame laugh harder.

"What a lovely name." You. Have. Got. To. Be. Kidding. Me.

"May I ask for your name, beautiful maiden?"

"Suki."

"Absolutely lovely name." Then, he kissed her cheek and she blushed as red as a tomato. Deidara stood up and all eyes were on him. He stomped over and grabbed Suki's arm.

"Where are you taking me!" He didn't answer, instead proceeded in dragging her out of the room. I watched them go, a smile forming on my face.

"Does that mean I pass?" I looked at Mr. Flirty Pants. Grabbing Suki's chair, I whacked him. He was out cold.

"Tch. Annoying." I said. That guy made me want to throw up. I looked at Suki's chair in my hands and smirked.

Have fun, Suki.

The auditions will continue in the next chapter! Also, I think the next will be the last to… Well, anyways, thanks for reading! Bye!