The room emptied, after a few more hours of working out kinks, and setting their plan perfectly. Levy had explained that once the kingdom heard of her death word would spread like wild fire, and Lucy would come three days later, following the schedule she had given Gajeel. By the time she got here, her people would be well protected against any attacks, then when Lucy came to the castle Levy would force her to sit and they would attempt to talk things out before an all out battle.
The plan sounded diplomatic and as if it could possibly diffuse the entire situation, but Gajeel knew better. This situation would not be so easy to solve, nonetheless he was impressed at Levy's quick thinking, even if she was only evading the inevitable for a short time. They were last two in the room. Levy stood looking out over the gardens,he couldn't help but notice the way she stood, her shoulders were squared and her chin lifted slightly.
He had never seen her hold herself like that, while she had always carried herself confidently, her body was usually bubbly and bouncing, even when she stood still, she was like a flower, rooted firmly, yet still able to sway freely.
Now she stood as if she carried the weight of the world on her back,and, he supposed she did. While he had a single responsibility to her life, which was heavy enough, she was responsible to the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Those people would never know how much she gave, how she was willing to sacrifice everything for people whose name's she would never know.
He stepped behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, hoping to lift some of the weight he knew she was carrying. He felt her sag slightly, allowing herself to show a little weakness. Together they stared out at the setting sun for what felt like hours of comfortable silence.
"Gajeel," she started before pausing, she chewed on her lip thinking hard, "thank you."
He hummed, "What for?"
"Everything I suppose. I think you should know that you're the greatest of the Iron Knights, even if you didn't want to be part of it at first," the sentence tumbled into the room in awkward chunks, very un-Levy like.
He didn't know exactly what happened but at that moment something between them changed. He wasn't sure if a barrier had been built on if one had been knocked down. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and never let go and at the same time wanted to put distance between them again. He needed to keep his feelings for her buried, this wasn't the time for falling in love. He needed to keep the lines from blurring so everything could stay clean and easy to see, though that was becoming harder every day.
"Mmm," he replied absently.
They made their way to the library, chatting about things like the weather and the book Levy couldn't wait to start reading. Anything to keep her mind off the day she had just had. Once at the door to room Gajeel asked,
"Do you mind if I leave you for a while? There something I need to do, I won't be long," he promised.
Clearly surprised she only nodded and then he was gone walking down the hall to his room to get a cloak and a lantern. He walked out side and across the snowy lawns and followed the maze to where the statue of the king and the knight was, but he walked passed it and continued to a white stone mausoleum. Gajeel's heavy footstep echoed through the ghostly stone room. There were two rows on the walls, the lower was carved from gray granite and had an iron plaque on each grave, with a name and two years, the year of birth and the year of death. These were the Iron Knights, from the very first, each one lay beneath the grave of the royal they served. The Royal graves were far more ornate, carved from bright white marble and with delicately carved silver plaques. Next to each grave hung a single white rose, they were changed regularly, Some tradition about the dead never being forgotten. Even if they wanted to be.
Gajeel didn't come here alone often anymore, he usually escorted Levy to visit her parents, though such outings had become fewer the past years. He followed the familiar path to the end of the line. He ran his fingers of the carving on the gray stone, tracing the cursive script.
Metalicana
The Iron Dragon
612- 645
His fingers paused over his father's nickname. It was what the King had always called him and he wasn't sure why. When he was a child he had wanted nothing more than to be just like his dad and be friends with the future Queen just like Metalicana was with the King. The two men would hunt together and gossip like old women together. He remembered asking his father once what it was like to be an Iron knight.
His father said, "Imagine being with your best friend, every single day, and you're only job is to make sure he doesn't get in enough trouble to kill himself," the he laughed a giant rolling laugh, that made him grab his stomach as if at a memory of some kind.
Gajeel was ten.
"Will I be best friends with Princess Levy?" He had been disgusted at the idea of having tea parties every day and doing each other's hair and other terrible girly things
"No my boy, you and Levy will have something much more special. I'm sure of it," he then ruffle Gajeel's hair and had trudged off to find the king.
Gajeel chuckled at the memory as he sat on the cold floor in front of the grave.
"I guess you knew all along, didn't you Pop,"
He perched his elbows on his knees and clasped one hand around his wrist. He only came here when he needed to work out a problem. One that that knew he couldn't figure out on his own. He watched the light of his lantern flicker off the grave in front of him, and cast shadows down the corridor. Gajeel's eyes wandered down the line of graves, to two empty holes carved into the wall, one above the other. One day, he hoped years from now, he and Levy would find their final resting places in those slots. He couldn't imagine going all those years without telling her.
"What do I do?" He whispered, "Do I tell her how I feel? Right now doesn't seem like the best time. I'm sure ya been watching ' everything that's been happening ' lately," He rambled to the wall,
He leaned his head against the pillar behind him, and for the first time in ten years he looked above his father's gray stone grave to the white marble ones above it. For a decade he had been pretending those two weren't there, that they didn't take the spot above his father. He hated them for so long he thought that if even looked at their graves he'd fly into a rage. Not anymore, not after her, he was different now, he wasn't afraid of the past, and he knew better than to blame two dead people for something they couldn't control.
He stared openly at the bright white marble for far longer than he intended, but the words were stuck in his throat. He had swallowed a knot and now it was blocking his words, he was choking, and if he didn't spit it out soon he'd suffocate.
"It," he took a shaky breath, "Wasn't your fault,"
He closed his eyes and for the first time since he stood over his father's coffin all that time ago, allowed himself to remember the king and queen as they actually were. He erased the black shadows he had replaced their faces with, and remembered their warmth. He vividly remembered baking cookies for the first time. Being in the kitchen with Levy and her mother, he was no older than six, he could see Levy struggling to crack eggs, himself reaching into the bowl and stealing cookie dough. He could still feel the warmth of the queen's smile and her bell like laugh it had played through him to the core, just like Levy's did now.
His memories carried him to a few years after that, he was in the courtyard with his father and the king. The two were sparring in a sword a fight, and it scared him. He could still feel how sore his throat was after screaming at the king not hurt his father. The king had walked over to him and put his large hands on Gajeel's shoulders, looked him directly in the eye and said he promised his life, no his entire kingdom. that he would harm Metalicana. He could still see the way the Kings eyes crinkled when he smiled, and the way he tugged on his black beard when Metalicana had rushed over to comfort his son, scooping him up into a gentle hug, and the King's rumbling chuckle whenMetalicana had promised to carry the biggest shield he could life so he would get hurt. Gajeel was maybe four.
For several long moments he allowed himself to be filled with all the memories of the two, not a single one was dark or malicious. Every memory broke something in him, crumbled walls and began destroying demons, one by one. There in the darkness of the ancient mausoleum Gajeel Redfox cried. The tears melted the last of teh shackles he had put himself in and he felt free. They weren't sobs but they still hurt, like vomiting after bad food, the poison left his body. Finally he wiped the last tears away with the back of his hand.
"I hope it's okay that I fell in love with Levy, perhaps she deserves better," he spoke to the two white graves.
"They hoped for it," a deep voice echoes through down the circular hall making Gajeel jump.
Pantherlily walked into the light. The red hood of his cloak obscuring his eyes, but Gajeel could see the tear streak just the same. Evidence that he had just watched Gajeel's private redemption.
"Lil', what are you doing here?"
"I followed you," he said taking his hood off, "I didn't expect you to come here. You haven't been here in years,"
Gajeel nodded, "Yes, well I needed to work somethings out,"
"I can see that," Lily walked in front of the graves and bowed his head respectfully to each of them before taking a seat next to Gajeel, "That's been a long time coming,"
"It would've taken a lot longer of wasn't for Levy," Gajeel acknowledged.
"How long have you know?" He asked still staring at Metalicana's plaque.
"I don't know, forever maybe, or it could just be a few days." He laughed at how ridiculous he sounded, "What did you mean they hoped for it?"
Lily smiled, "I was already into adulthood when your father passed so my memories are a bit clearer. I remember there was something of a bet between the queen, the king, and your father."
"What kind of bet?" He shivered against the cold and wrapped his cloak tighter around himself.
"How old you would be when you fell in love," Pantherlily smiled, "I wasn't supposed to know but I had habit of eavesdropping when I was younger and they made me promise to never say anything,"
Gajeel raised a studded brow waiting the hooded man to continue.
"The King guessed both of you would be in your teens. Your father knowing you to be a bit of a late bloomer guessed you would be at least thirty. But he Queen was nearly right on, she guessed you to be twenty five, she only a year off," he smirked, "she always seemed to have a special intuition about things like this,"
Gajeel's mouth fell open slightly, shocked, how could they have possibly known? He shook his ragged locks slowly, of course they knew.
"Lily did you know that when she's afraid she write each and every fear she had on a piece of paper?" He asked, changing the subject.
"What does she hope to accomplish by doing such a thing?" He asked incredulously
"I'm not sure, But today I offered to give her my strength if she gave me her fears,"
"The sheet you were studying in the meeting," he nodded knowingly
"Do you know what she's most afraid of? Even more than the idea of losin' her kingdom, or the death of people? Telling me how she feels. How can she be afraid of that?"
"You've openly hated this arrangement since the day it began in that chapel. Maybe she's afraid of pushing you farther away," Lily shook his head "Now you have to decide. Will you tell her how you feel?"
"This isn't the time Pantherlily. You saw her today, she's wound too tightly as it is, and she's been that way for weeks. She standing on the edge of the cliff and I'm afraid a breeze will knock her off, I don't want to be that breeze," he sighed, "I can't be that breeze,"
"Gajeel if you wait for the right time it will never come and you will both spend your lives wondering how the other truly felt. Besides maybe you're the only that keep her from tumbling over the edge,"