"What's happened?" I heard a panicked Lissa asking Celeste as they followed behind us as Alberta led me to her office. "Is Rose ok? I didn't think you were due back until tomorrow?" Christian and Tasha were trailing behind us.
"There was a Strigoi attack when we arrived at the Moroi house where Rose had her Qualifier. She's made her first three kills. She'll be ok; it's just a big shock - especially the first time and if you're not expecting it. I don't want to be rude, Princess, but right now it might be best she's with other Guardians. We've all been where she is and understand it a bit better. Why don't you give her a quick hug and leave her with us? She'll be feeling much better in the morning."
I could literally have kissed Celeste. It wasn't that I didn't want to see Lissa. She's my best friend, and I'd been missing her. But I needed a chance to pull myself together first.
Lissa stepped forward, pulling me into a tight hug just as we reached Alberta's office.
"I love you, Rose," she said – and I could tell through the bond she didn't know what else to say. "Do you want me to stay with you?"
"Love you too, Lissa," I said. "If you don't mind, I just want to talk it through with the Guardians? How about we catch up for breakfast or lunch tomorrow? I'll text you when I'm up."
She squeezed me extra hard. "Of course. If you need anything, let me know."
She walked back to where Christian was standing beside Tasha. Christian gave me a troubled look, Tasha a sympathetic smile before Alberta ushered me into her office and I sat on her sofa.
"You did well, Rose," Alberta said. "Art was very impressed."
"Yeah I bet – until I completely lost it when I spoke with Dimitri," I said disgusted with myself. Alberta's eyes flicked to Celeste. "It's ok – I've told her everything about him and me."
"That's good. Celeste, it goes without saying I expect you to keep that information to yourself. Did you want to talk about anything, Rose?"
"Not yet. Maybe later? But can you try and keep the news about the kills under wraps? Most of the students are leaving today or tomorrow for holidays. I was hoping just to get my molnija quietly while most people were away. That way it will be old news by the time holidays are finished."
"That's fine. We'll schedule it for a few days after Christmas when hardly anyone's around. Did you want something to eat?"
"No. I think I'll just go to bed."
"That's a good idea. Come and see me when you're ready tomorrow and I'll go through the paperwork for the kills with you. Art's done most of it, but it doesn't hurt for you to get used to doing it," she suggested. "I'm very proud of you, Rose. Art told me he wouldn't have survived the attack without the help of you and Matthews." Alberta sat next to me and gave me a hug. "Off you go now. If you run into anyone, tell them to radio me if they need an explanation why you're out of bed."
Celeste and I walked across campus together, preparing to part ways near the dorms as she headed to her room and me to mine.
"Well, it was a bigger day than I'd thought. I'm sorry you ended up in danger," I said. It preyed on my mind. Celeste and I could easily have died today.
"I'm a Guardian, Rose – it goes with the territory."
"I know. But still. I'd thought it would be an easy gig for you."
"I'm glad I went," Celeste said kindly. "You needed a friend today, and I was happy to be able to be there for you. Also..." she said, flushing red in the early afternoon sun, "I am a huge fan of Guardian Schoenberg and wouldn't have missed meeting him for the world. Fighting beside him was such a thrill!"
Back in my room I stripped off and lay in bed naked. It had been so hard speaking with Dimitri, but so good, too. It was easy to focus on the loss and grief, so as I lay in bed, I cuddled my pillow and focused on the fact that I'd spoken with the man I loved and that he'd told me he still loved me and was missing me. And rather than the fact I couldn't have him now, I focused on the fact I was lucky to have found him at all.
I woke in the morning feeling ok mentally but sore physically. There were several big bruises on my arms, side, and legs. My lower back also ached and felt stiff. I checked the clock, and it was 11 pm! Standing up and donning a robe, I had to scuttle like a crab across the hallway to the bathroom as I was seriously about to wet myself. I guess ten hours without relieving oneself will do that!
Back in my room, I lay back in bed, happy that I wasn't expected back until about now, so no one other than Lissa and Christian would be wondering where I was. I sent Lissa a quick text suggesting lunch in the cafeteria at midnight. I got a message back almost instantly saying Tasha didn't like the stares she got in the cafeteria, so would I mind going with them to lunch where she was staying. Suited me – the cafeteria was probably the last place I wanted to be today, too!
I took a shower, taking the time to wash and blow dry my hair. I even put on a little subtle makeup. I guess I'd already 'met' Tasha last night, but I hadn't been at my best then – so I thought I'd take a second chance at making a good first impression. She was an old friend of Dimitri's, so if he came back, she might end up being one of 'our' friends I thought with a smile.
I met with Lissa near the commons. She was alone, so Christian must be meeting us at Tasha's.
"Rose!" Lissa squealed hugging me hard. "Are you alright? I was so worried!"
I was mentally sampling her mood through the bond. She was certainly worried – but a little frightened, too. Me looking so distressed had freaked her out. She was used to seeing me strong and fearless and witnessing me lose it like that had scared her.
"Yeah, I'm alright. It was just full on, you know?"
"What happened?"
"I'll tell you once we're at Tasha's. It will save me saying it twice. How is she? What's she like?" I asked curiously, using the opportunity without Christian to get the goss.
"She's lovely Rose! She's laid back and funny and seems to like me..."
Well of course she did. How could anyone not like Lissa? Particularly when they saw how good she was for Christian. Any mother-in-law to be, or aunt-in-law in this case, should be kissing Lissa's feet.
"So where are we going?" I asked as we moved away from the main buildings towards the gym.
"Tasha doesn't like staying in the guest accommodation. Too full of stuffy royals," Lissa explained. I had to suppress a smile. Sounds like Tasha was a woman after my own heart! "So she chose to stay in a cabin on the outskirts of campus."
As she said it, I could see a cabin among the trees, smoke coming from the chimney. They were old Guardian watch post cabins – used back when there were more Guardians on campus, and there was a larger more formalized patrol of the wards. Now they were mostly unused, other than the occasional couple sneaking away to use them for amorous encounters. Lissa stopped and knocked, and Christian opened the door and ushered us inside.
The cabin itself was a decent size. It had a small kitchen area, a bed, a door leading to a bathroom and a tiny sitting area with a couple of sofas. I can't imagine it was always as well furnished as this, so they'd probably brought stuff in so Tasha would have a comfortable stay.
"Lissa!" Tasha greeted pleasantly. I turned to face the woman in the kitchen who was looking at Lissa and me. She was undoubtedly an Ozera – her dark hair and piercing blue eyes declared that. She was very pretty, or at least she would have been had it not been for large red scratch marks running down one side of her face and neck.
"Hi, Tasha. This is my friend Rose Hathaway," Lissa said, making the formal introductions. "Rose this is Christian's Aunt Tasha Ozera."
"Hi," I said a little shyly. "I know I saw you last night, but I was a bit all over the place, sorry."
"Yeah what happened?" Christian asked, without his usual snark. Looks like having Tasha here might come with added benefits. Like Christian using his manners. Tasha gestured for us to sit on the sofas as she made hot chocolate. I was surprised to note she made it the same way Dimitri did – with two sachets. I'd never seen anyone do it that way other than my Russian God.
I sighed. "I had my Qualifier scheduled for yesterday," I started, mostly for Tasha's benefit as Lissa and Christian already knew that aspect of things. "Because I missed it in Junior year. It was being held at a private house with Guardian Arthur Schoenberg."
"Shit Rose! I didn't know your Qualifier was with Art freaking Schoenberg!" Christian spluttered. It spoke volumes that even Moroi knew who he was. The man had been head of the Guardian Council, was a fighting God, and revered amongst Dhampir and Moroi alike.
"Yeah – Dimitri organized it for me," I said absently, pausing as I saw Tasha's head snap up to look at me when I said his name.
"Anyway when Celeste and I got there, it was dark and quiet. No lights on even though they were expecting us. At first, I thought it might be part of a Qualifier test – but when we got to the front door, it had been kicked in. There was the sound of fighting, and we came in to see Schoenberg fighting a bunch of Strigoi unaided. Celeste and I pitched in, and I made my first three kills. Schoenberg then sent me upstairs to check the family had made it to the panic room, and they all had other than their youngest son. So I went looking for him and had just found him when an eleventh Strigoi found us. I was preparing to fight him when Schoenberg staked him from behind and then it was over."
Lissa, Christian, and Tasha were hanging on my every word. Now I spoke it out loud I guess it did sound pretty badass.
"I thought I was doing ok with it, but then I saw Alberta, and I was tired and all my adrenaline kind of disappeared..." I trailed off lamely. It's not like I could tell them the main reason I was distressed was because of Dimitri. I mean, I was upset about the kills, too. But not as much as I had been talking to my man.
"So will you be getting molnija?" Tasha asked. "How does it work with you still being a Novice?"
"Yeah, they'll just leave room for the promise mark to be added later," I explained. "I'm trying to keep it quiet, so they'll do the ceremony after Christmas sometime when hardly anyone's around."
"I thought you'd want to celebrate?" Christian asked, just a little bitterly. Suddenly I appreciated how hard this must be for him and Tasha to hear me talking about killing Strigoi. Talking about killing creatures like his parents.
I looked up at him, plagiarizing Dimitri's words to explain it to him. "No. I mean sure they were Strigoi and their souls had gone. But they were all human, Dhampir or Moroi once, you know? It's still killing..."
"You see it the same way Dimitri does," Tasha muttered.
"Yeah, well he's the one who told me how it would feel when I made my first kills, and he was right," I said glumly. "I know Novices think it's all about glory, but it's not. It's a heavy responsibility. Celeste was right last night – it's not something you can really understand until you've been through it."
"So how come Dimitri didn't take you to your Qualifier?" Tasha asked casually, although she seemed a little too interested in my answer. "I thought he was your mentor?"
I psyched myself up, preparing to lie to one of my man's friends, trying to appear natural and casual. I hope once the truth came out she'd understand and forgive me.
"Hmm? Yeah, he is, but he's on leave. Visiting his family in Baia, I think?"
"Oh that's a pity," Tasha said vaguely, quickly trying to hide the look of disappointment on her face. "I was hoping he and I could spend some quality time together while I was here." Something about the way she said 'quality time' made me shiver. "Did he say when he's due back?"
"Not that I know of," I said, happy not to actually lie. "Maybe ask Celeste? She's his partner, so if anyone would know, it would be her."
A look of what I thought might be fury crossed Tasha's face, but it was gone before I could confirm that's what it had been.
"Partner?"
"Yeah. His guarding partner. She and Dimitri have been allocated as primary partners for two or three years. Since he came to the Academy. I think she's partnering with Emil while Dimitri is away," I explained.
"Oh, ok!" Tasha said, smiling again. "Maybe I'll give him a call and see when he's coming back. Has he been gone long?"
"A couple of weeks," I said casually. It hurt to speak about Dimitri as though he was just another Guardian, but it was just how it had to be right now. Besides, I was getting a sense that maybe Tasha's interest in Dimitri was more than friendly. Keen to change the subject I asked, "So will you be coming to the Yule Ball, Tasha?"
"I suppose so. I have a beautiful dress I brought to wear..." she said a little sadly.
"You weren't trying to impress a certain very tall, dark and handsome Guardian were you, Tash?" Christian teased.
Tasha rolled her eyes and turned back to the kitchen, but not before I saw a tell-tale flush on her cheeks.
"Shut up, Christian," she said. "Lissa, I have no idea how you put up with him!"
Lissa laughed and the moment was gone, but not before I knew I'd been right. I wasn't the only woman in the room who wanted to be more than just good friends with Dimitri Belikov.
We had sandwiches for lunch, Tasha explaining she just had to ring through what she wanted, and the kitchen would send it down. I had to admit; it was a lot more civilized than enduring the school cafeteria! I guess being a Royal Moroi, even one from a disgraced family, still gave you a lot of privileges! We chatted for ages – Lissa and Christian having no classes that afternoon, and me not due back at class until tomorrow after my Qualifier.
Tasha was actually nice to talk to. We spoke about her work as a martial arts instructor and her ideas about Moroi self-defense. It was refreshing to speak with a Moroi, and a Royal at that, who saw they had a role to play in their own protection. I intentionally kept all my comments about things other than Dimitri, and I was grateful she did, too. I was already in enough of a tailspin after speaking with him, so I really wasn't in a space to try and reconcile how she felt about him.
Looks like Lissa didn't get that memo, though. There was a pause in the conversation, and she asked, "So how do you know Guardian Belikov, Tasha?" I looked to Tasha, seeing her tender little smile and mentally battened down the hatches.
"Dimka and I have been friends for years," she said. "I met him through his old charge, Ivan. Ivan and I were more friends first, but over time I became much closer to Dimka. We've always had a special connection, but I haven't seen him in a while. After he lost Ivan, it was too painful for him to see anyone associated with him. And then he was off finding you two, and I was working. We just never seem to have the right timing. I'm so disappointed he's not here for Christmas. I should have checked he'd be here, but it didn't occur to me he'd be on holidays. I wanted to surprise him."
Lissa smiled sweetly. I could tell from the bond that, like me, she was reading between the lines and could tell Tasha was interested in Dimitri. She thought it was sweet and very romantic. I, personally, wanted to vomit – but it wasn't Tasha's fault that she was crushing on the man I loved. It wasn't like she had any idea of what had gone on between he and me.
"I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you when he gets back," Lissa said kindly.
"I hope so," Tasha said with a shy little smile.
It was around 4 am when Christian, Lissa and I stood to leave. Christian and Lissa were going to return for a family dinner that evening, but I begged off claiming I had paperwork to do relating to my Qualifier and kills. We were walking up towards main campus when Christian turned to me.
"Rose? Thank you for recognizing that Strigoi weren't always evil, and that at some time they were special to someone. It's nice to know that some Guardians see that." I knew he was referring to his parents.
"Sparky – I think most of us see it that way. Taking a life, even a soulless one, is still killing. It's not something anyone does lightly. Dimitri told me that when I had my first kills, I'd understand, and he was right," I sighed.
"He's a really decent guy, isn't he?" Christian replied out of the blue. "Belikov."
"Yeah, he is. The best."
"I'm glad," he said smiling. "When Tasha and I went to get wood for the fire, she told me that when he gets back, she's going to ask him to be her Guardian and hopefully something more. She said there's always been something between them, and she knows he wants kids, so she's going to see if he'd like to settle down and have a family with her."
My stomach heaved, and honestly, it took everything I had not to hurl on the spot. The idea of my Dimitri with another woman and starting a family was repugnant. But he wanted kids? It wasn't something we'd discussed, but then there was so much we hadn't had a chance to talk about during our brief days together.
Thinking about Tasha, and her conviction that there was 'something between' she and Dimitri, I wondered whether maybe he hadn't been completely honest with me about their past. Maybe she had a claim to him that predated mine?