A/N: I finally got inspiration for another one. I don't know if this one is humorous, but it has humorous parts in it (in my opinion.) Things like that just come out when you're writing dialogues.

Word Count: 1,244

Summary: "You little tease. Tempting him with that little body of yours to reveal that in actuality, it belongs to someone else."

Disclaimer: The words are mine and that's it.

"..."

"..."

"What are you doing here?"

"What was he doing here?"

"I asked you first."

"If we're really going to play that game, I think its pretty obvious what I'm doing here."

"Then I can assume its also obvious what he was."

"..."

"Don't smirk at me, Chuck Bass. I know that look. How dare you?"

"Can you blame me? I had to look after you somehow. I didn't want that boy of yours to be more of an embarrassment than he already was."

"I new I spotted Mike that day. He's losing his touch."

"He gets the job done. He got the information of that boy to me, didn't he?"

"So it would seem."

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to take it?"

"..."

"Just open it, Waldorf."

"Why?"

"Because I went all the way to Tiffany's--"

"While I'm sure that arduous trek from Tiffany's to my penthouse was treacherous, that wasn't what I was talking about."

"It was fine. I took the limo anyway."

"What are you doing here?"

"I made a promise."

"..."

"That's my girl."

"Shut up. Just because I have a pension for expensive jewelry doesn't mean I have a pension for you. And I'm not your girl."

"For now."

"Don't get cocky."

"But I thought that was your favorite part of me."

"You disgust me."

"Just open it and stop flattering me with your compliments."

"..."

"..."

"It's very nice."

"'Very nice'? Do you know how much that cost me?"

"As much as this relationship?"

"At least you're admitting we're in a relationship."

"Don't delude yourself. We haven't been in one for a long while."

"Is that what you're telling yourself now? Does he give you necklaces?"

"..."

"Bracelets?"

"..."

"Studs?"

"..."

"Shiny rocks?"

"Bass."

"I'm just trying to understand the appeal."

"And was buying me things the only appeal you ever had?"

"No. The sex was pretty good too. I just assumed there had to be something in it for you to be with someone who is so unworthy."

"And you're worthy?"

"I'm the only one who understands you, sweetheart. That counts for something if not everything. And like I said-- the sex was pretty good too."

"It just so happens that he cares about me."

"Really? Does he love you?"

"Yes."

"Does he love you like I do?"

"..."

"That's what I thought."

"Chuck. Just stop."

"Why?"

"What makes you think we can just pick up where we left off?"

"I don't."

"What makes you think I can let myself trust you again?"

"I don't. I wouldn't trust me if I were you right now anyway. Then again, I don't exactly trust you either."

"Then why did you come back for me?"

"Because I am selfish. Last time I checked, so where you. And we've been apart long enough already. And I can stand to be away from you just as much as you can stand to be away from me. Admit it, Waldorf. You're loins just curled at the sight of me. At the scent of me. You just can't wait to taste my--"

"Oh my god."

"...What?"

"You spoke to him, didn't you?"

"Of course I did. It's like you don't know me at all."

"Why would you do that?"

"You told him about me, princess."

"..."

"You little tease. Tempting him with that little body of yours to reveal that in actuality, it belongs to someone else."

"I don't belong to you."

"I didn't say you did."

"That doesn't mean it wasn't what you meant."

"And you immediately thought of me."

"I just know how self absorbed you are."

"I guess you and I are just two of a kind. It's why you never let anyone come close yo you. You knew I was coming back for you. You know you're my one and only."

"Even if it was some subconscious and horridly depraved fantasy that you would ever think of me again above your sluts, I had to make provisions. He was a... companion. I needed someone who made me feel safe after everything."

"But you could never hope to have what we had with anyone else. I was coming back no matter what sort of companion you had."

"He was kind to me."

"Of course he was. I had to make sure you were taken care of."

"What?"

"If course I would make sure you were taken care of while I was gone. You know if he was wrong I would have ripped him away from you in an instant."

"You have serious boundary issues."

"And if we truly weren't inevitable you would have kicked me out long ago."

"I guess I just can't take a hint."

"He can."

"You antagonized him."

"No. He knew there was a ticking clock on your... companionship. The minute he saw me he knew it was over. He knew what would happen when I came back."

"And how could I know that you would?"

"Because this is the way its supposed to be."

"You left for a reason."

"So did you, if I recall. But I'm back now. I can't promise that I won't hurt you and there's a distinct possibility that you'll hurt me again."

"I don't know where you're going with this."

"Can they make you feel the way I make you feel? Does it even compare?"

"... Do you even have to ask?"

"Do you even have to ask why I came back?"

"..."

"..."

"It is very beautiful."

"You sound surprised. You forget, I now you. Every hair, every line, every..."

"Chuck."

"Yes?"

"That wasn't an invitation to take my clothes off."

"Oh, I won't take everything off. You'll still have my necklace on."