Coming Up for Fresh Air

by McIntern

For seven seasons, we've witnessed life at Seattle Grace Hospital from the perspective of Meredith Grey and her fellow residents. What if we had seen the story told by the one and only Derek Shepherd?

14. Chapter 14: Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Author's Note: I apologize in advance, this chapter is mostly filler. But it gets a bit interesting at the end, I think. Anyway, I'll shut up, and see you on the other side.

Chapter 14 – Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Sitting on the plane flying eastward, it was hard to believe that just two months earlier, I'd exited the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport not knowing who Meredith Grey was or what her significance was in my life. I shook my head. Going home was good. I was fulfilling promises and taking space. I was not running away. Everything was different this time around.

Well, except for the ridiculous lines and the painfully slow-moving security checkpoints and the waiting game. I hated airports. I loved flying, but the airports were so taxing that it made travelling an ordeal.

I had called Mom directly before boarding to let her know that the plane would probably get in at 10:00, on time. After reviewing some paperwork I'd brought with me, watching The Day After Tomorrow and Mean Girls, eating lunch and dinner and a two-hour nap, I still had an hour left to go on the flight. And now I was alone with my thoughts.

Meredith had every right to ask for friendship – our whole relationship until this point had been backwards. Sex, dating, stolen moments, confessing I was still married. We'd never just gotten to know each other without strings attached.

It was a miracle she was even talking to me at all. I should be grateful.

But it was hard to imagine not being able to touch her in all the little, intimate ways I wanted to. I had to restrain voicing my deepest desires. I couldn't push her towards what I wanted, not after the way I had hurt her.

I was playing by Meredith's rules now, and in a way it put me at ease. I would make it up to her by always considering her first. It was the only thing I could do now, even if she had no idea of my intentions.

I dreamily replayed every scene between me and Meredith in my head in vivid detail; flirting with her at the Emerald City bar, waking up on the floor of her living room, shamelessly flirting with her to no avail, our first date, our first night at the trailer, deciding we were in a relationship…all of them blended together in a mingled aura of happiness and longing.

Before I knew it, the flight attendant was vigorously shaking my shoulder.

"Sir!" she called loudly. "The plane has landed in New York! You have to disembark now!"

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, hurriedly gathering my laptop bag and suitcase. The plane was completely empty of passengers, except for me. I pulled out my Blackberry to see that Nancy had texted me.

Flight 1112 at Gate 3? Im picking u up.

Nancy was picking me up – understandable, since she was the most senior doctor at the birthing center she started and was free to take time off whenever she wanted. Kathleen would probably arrive sometime the next afternoon, Pamela before dinner, and Candace a couple hours afterward since she was still a resident and subject to the beck-and-call of her attendings.

It was almost as if Mom had known I needed to talk to Nancy. I texted back a quick yes and darted my way down the loading ramp.

I looked fervently around – most of my fellow passengers had exited the plane in a timely fashion and had already moved to baggage claim. So Nancy should be fairly easy to spot…

There! Even late at night, my sister would be the most put-together-looking woman in the crowd…quite unlike when she showed up in Seattle just days earlier. It was hard to believe it had been so soon since I'd last seen her.

She bridged the gap between us to give me a one-armed hug.

"Derek!" she said warmly. "It's been so long!"

I frowned at her, cocking an eyebrow. "It's been three days."

"Yes," she said, dropping her eyes and playing absentmindedly with her draped necklace. "Well, I was hoping you'd forget that part."

"Not on your life," I joked, hooking an arm around her. "You'll be paying me back for this one for years to come."

"Yeah, yeah," she said dismissively. Then she eyed my single bag. "Is that really all you brought?"

"Yes," I defended. "I'm only here for three days, I don't need a lot."

Nancy just smiled a devious little smile. "I'd have hoped you had learned by now that you'll be going back to Seattle with many more clothes than you left with."

I dropped my arm and stopped walking, jaw dropped as Nancy turned to face me again.

"You aren't serious," I groaned.

"Oh, but I am," she said breezily. "I found this adorable button-down Ralph Lauren that will set off your eyes wonderfully."

Yet another one of the many blessings of having four sisters. Unholy amounts of clothing.

As we walked out to Nancy's Porsche, I recounted her with Burke's arrogance and the almost-tragic harvest surgery.

"Just don't tell Candace," Nancy said as she popped the trunk of the sedan. "I get the feeling she's rather starstruck."

I slung my bags into the trunk and went to take my place in the front passenger's seat. "The guy's a jerk, plain and simple."

We fell silent while Nancy navigated the luxury car out of the airport and onto the highway. There was so much more activity in New York. The sheer number of headlights was blinding.

"So," Nancy said levelly, trying to keep her tone casual. "How did things end up with the intern?"

I sighed. "She was mad at me for awhile. Somehow she let me explain about the affair. We're trying to be friends right now. I think she wants to trust me but she just can't. So I'm giving her the space she needs." My head flopped against the window.

"You need it, too," she reminded. "You need to clear your head. And this is just the place to do it."

"Yeah," I conceded. "Somewhere without Meredith or Addison. She's been impossible lately."

Nancy's jaw tightened a bit. I felt a pang of remorse – I forgot how close Addie and Nance were. I forgot that not everyone immediately cut ties with her as easily as I had. Nancy missed her best friend.

"In her defense, Derek," Nancy replied, "you didn't divorce her. In her mind, there is still hope for reconciliation. Remember the world she comes from…in her mind, it was a perfectly logical conclusion that one day you'd come back and forgive her."

"Well, she knows there's not one now," I thought aloud. "Part of the reason I'm back is to pick up John Tuttle so he can handle the divorce proceedings."

Nancy's face fell a bit, but she caught herself quickly. She was being remarkably stoic for a Shepherd girl.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised," she whispered, eyes plastered to the road. "I guess I knew it was coming eventually. But I just wanted to keep denying it."

I looked at my sister's face, shining yellow in the face of oncoming traffic.

"I guess I did, too," I confessed. "It was a lot easier to pretend I didn't have to do it. She didn't take the news well at all."

Nancy stole a glance at my face, appraising, and then looked back in front of her.

"You know she'll fight tooth and nail against it," she stated, not asking but declaring. Addie was not used to not getting what she wanted. I felt for her – in this case she simply couldn't.

"Nancy," I said, looking at her face even if she couldn't look at mine. "If Addison should contest the divorce…New York State requires a witness to testify to the affair…she told you what happened, right? Would you be willing to do it?"

Nancy swallowed hard and tried to pretend like I hadn't just asked her to betray her friend. I tried again.

"Please, Nance," I said earnestly. "It will be easier for both of us if we can just move on."

"Der," she said, uncharacteristic tears threatening to spill over her bottom lids. "Isn't there any other way?"

I shook my head. "Not if she doesn't sign straight away. If I have to take it to court, I need a witness." Nancy continued to stare pointedly out of the windshield. "Nance, you owe me this much. If you did this for me, all jokes aside, it would mean everything to me."

Nancy struggled for a few moments with my request, her mouth writhing in confusion and pain. Finally, she looked me in the eye.

"Derek, I will do it for you because you're my brother," she said slowly. "But promise me you won't run right back to the Grey girl. Promise me you'll take time to figure out what you really want. I mean it."

I sighed again, but kissed my sister on the cheek. "Consider it a deal."

"I really, really hope it doesn't come down to me," she said, almost to herself.

"Me too," I echoed the sentiment. "But since when has Addie ever backed down from a fight?"

Nancy smirked. "Good point."

As the car pulled onto the street where my mother lived, I felt a greater kinship with my next oldest sister than ever before. She was making a huge sacrifice for me, and though she warned me not to go right back to Meredith, she had acknowledged back in Seattle that the feelings I had for her were unique. Nancy was accepting, and she was probably the hardest of the bunch to win over.

Finally, Nancy piloted the car up the driveway to my mother's colonial. She parked behind two other cars – did that mean that my other sisters were already here? How did they manage to secure the time off?

As if she could hear my silent questions, Nancy quietly nodded as she switched off the engine and popped the trunk so I could get my bags.

"Kathleen and Pamela are taking vacation time and Candace is calling in sick tomorrow," she explained. "Mom may have over-emphasized the point of the family needing to be together whenever possible."

I dropped my eyes shamefully as I hoisted a bag over each shoulder. Mom was stoic whenever I talked to her but evidently my sisters were bearing the brunt of her worry. I made a silent vow to talk more often, and maybe buy Mom a webcam.

We entered through the back door directly into the kitchen, where all of my sisters sat around the table with my mother. It was a sight I was accustomed to seeing, and the familiarity put me at ease though I had just entered the lion's den.

"Hey!" I called, setting my bags down. Candace, typically, leapt from her seat and threw her arms around my neck, planting a kiss squarely on my cheek.

"You finally made it back, big brother!" she exclaimed.

Nancy rolled her eyes, and Kathleen stood from her chair to put Candace and I in a group hug. The oldest, Kathleen had always been very motherly and this was not a surprising move from her.

Once Kathleen and Candace had released me, Mom and Pamela got up from their seats to each give me a warm hug. Pam's hug was rather hurried and awkward, which shouldn't have surprised me, but I was glad she made the effort at all. As opposed to Nancy, the social butterfly of my sisters, Pam had always been rather introspective and not keen on big group interactions, not made any easier by our large family dynamic.

"Where are all the boys?" I asked, settling into a chair. All of my sisters were married, with the exception of Candace, who could never hold a boyfriend very long. In addition, between Nancy, Kathleen, and Pamela, I had fourteen nieces and nephews. There was pressure on both Candy and I to increase that number, subtle but always there.

"Let's see, Greg is putting Pam's kids to bed, and Rob's probably trying to wrangle Nancy's into the bath tub, and Troy is watching A Cinderella Story downstairs with Casey and Becca," Kathleen listed off.

"They offered to take the kids so we could all catch up," Pam explained.

I looked around at my family. Mom was beaming, and though she looked tired, she did look relaxed at having her entire family together again. She set a cup of coffee in front of me, already dosed with skim milk and sugar.

"Decaf, of course," she said by way of explanation as she bustled back to the sink to clean up some dishes.

Nancy had taken a seat with her requisite cup of tea, and the other three had plates with some variety of party cookies on each.

"So," I said, taking a sip from my coffee. Mom always knew exactly how I liked it, and managed to make it better than I did myself. "What's up with you guys?"
Kathleen laughed, rolling her eyes.

"You get back from Seattle after two months and you think we want to tell you about our lives?" she chuckled.

Candace popped up from her seat, suddenly engaged in conversation.

"Sergio and I broke up last week," she said, oddly cheerily. With Candace, you were never quite sure how she felt about a breakup. Obviously this one had gone rather well.

"Really, Candy?" I feigned shock. "This one lasted a whole three months, I really thought you two could go the distance." Sergio, a Spanish grad student that Candy had met while treating his friend for a congenital heart condition, was a good six years younger than her and still way involved in the mid-20s party scene. My sister, in her early thirties and a competitive cardiothoracic residency, could barely keep up. "Let me guess, he was eyeing the other chicas a bit much?"

Candace playfully punched me in the arm. "Asshole," she said, before quickly covering her mouth and looking to my mother to see if she'd heard. Mom either couldn't hear her over the sound of the faucet washing dishes or pretended not to. "Yeah, that may have had something to do with it, but that's okay, because he wasn't ready to commit to anyone anyway." She proclaimed it proudly, as if she were happy to have had a justifiable reason.

"Yeah, as if you are, either," I teased.

"For your information, Der," Candy responded indignantly. "You having left has shown me what's important. I want a family, and Sergio was not really on board with that. My interests have led…elsewhere, anyway."

"No man is, not at twenty six," Pamela pointed out.

"Except for Derek," Kathleen teased.

It was true. I had married Addie at precisely the same age. And I had wanted kids…but I kept putting it off. After we finished our residencies…after the fellowships…after the practices were up and running…

We all fell silent as we breached the topic that was looming as large as the proverbial elephant in the room.

"Uh, I finished my dermatology fellowship at NYU," Pam interjected. "I think I'm going to stay there, see if I can work my way up the ranks and get some research going."

"Did you read my latest in the journal?" Kath asked cockily.

"Yeah, the PTSD one?" I seized on the topic. "It was good, except for the fact that you didn't discuss brain scans or diagnostic tools."

"It was about treatment, Der, not diagnosis," Kathleen defended. "Just because I don't write about what you care about..."

"I guess I'll just have to bring it up, then," I said lackadaisically. "See if I can make it before page 102."

Kathleen made a playful swipe and her fake glare might have been menacing if she wasn't grinning below it.

"And, well, you're aware what's been happening in my life as of late," Nancy chimed in, blushing slightly as she did.

"Ma, how about you?"

"Oh, Derek, you know how it goes," Mom said cheerfully. "I spend all of my time preparing for you people to come over."

We all laughed. At least two of us generally visited once a week, and if anyone hit a rough patch and had to leave the house for a night, Mom always had a bed made up and ready to sleep in.

"So, Der, you had to know it was coming," Candy led. "You have to tell us about what's going on in Seattle!"

"Yeah, Derek, what's it like in the Wild West?" Pamela asked, giggling.

"Well, you probably know that it rains a lot and is much cleaner and less crowded than New York," I teased. "Lots of water. And the views are spectacular."

"Views of what?" Candace whispered to Kathleen, elbowing her. Kathleen smiled demurely, but the age difference between the two sisters could not have been more apparent as in that moment.

"Yeah, Derek, what's this I hear about this intern?" Pam probed.

"Now, Pamela," Mom scolded. "Be respectful. Would your brother ask you the sordid details of your relationship with Greg?"

Pam continued unabashedly. "I hear she's young."

"Not that young," Candace argued. "My age, maybe. At least that's what Der said."

I blushed. "Can we please stop talking about Meredith?"

"Why, Der?" Kathleen said in sing-song. "Don't want to dish about your new girlfriend?" She turned to Nancy. "Does she hold a candle to Addie?"

Nancy turned her eyes to the floor, but her voice kept its normal authoritative tone.

"Lay off of Meredith, girls," she said quietly.

"Why?" Candace asked, a gleam in her eye. Then her face softened. "Unless…?"

I turned to Nancy. "Do they not know?" She shook her head mournfully. My face fell. I was not looking forward to having to tell this story.

"Do we not know what?" Mom asked, finally resuming her seat at the table. Concern wore on her face.

I sighed. "Addison came to Seattle, and…introduced herself to Meredith."

Cries of "What? When?" and "Oh my gosh!" and "What does that have to do with anything?" (the latter coming from Candace) echoed. Only my mother and Nancy remained silent.

"Richard called her out for a case and…I might have told her about Meredith," Nancy muttered, not making eye contact with anyone and playing with her necklace again.

"Okay, so Addie came to wreak havoc," Pamela summed up. "I get that; she's tenacious. But what happened – could Meredith not handle the wife coming back?"

"Meredith…didn't really know there was a wife." I waited for the noise.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND ABOUT YOUR WIFE?!?!" Candy shrieked, standing up and throwing her chair to the ground. If looks could kill, Pamela would be guilty of murder. Kathleen, curiously, sat, frowning but not overly concerned.

"Derek, you have freaking four sisters, how could you be so STUPID?" Pamela shouted.

"It's not like he expected Addison to just show up," Kathleen said calmly, trying to keep the peace as always. "And it's the kind of news where there's never a convenient time to break it. Tell her in the beginning and you scare her off, and tell her too late and you're accused of keeping secrets."

"The Derek I know would have apologized and done anything to make it up to her." Mom looked at me, expectant, waiting to see if her assessment was correct.

My face went blank. "Actually, that's exactly what I did."

Nancy stepped forward. "And to be fair, Addison was a big bitch about it." My sisters all stared at Nancy, unwilling to believe that Addison's best friend would say that. "Sorry, Mom."

"So…what did she say?" Candace asked quietly, picking up her chair and sitting back down.

"I told her what happened – all of it. I told her I was sorry for hurting her, and…that I loved her."

There was silence. I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"She asked for some space. I tried really hard to give it to her. She wants to try being friends for awhile, to get to know each other without any pressure. That's a small part of the reason I'm back – and to see you guys, of course. I need to just get away for a bit."

"Aw, I'm so proud of you, Der," Kathleen said, hugging me from across the table. It's the best thing you could've done…well, except for the 'not being able to give her space' part. But…oh my gosh, Troy could take some lessons from you."

There was a murmur of assent from around the table…apparently I was the boyfriend all my sisters wanted to be able to have.

"Well, in any case, we're glad you came to visit," Mom said, taking my coffee cup and pecking me on the cheek.

"There is one more reason I came back this weekend," I said, grimacing. This was not going to be fun. "I am taking John Tuttle back with me to Seattle. I'm divorcing Addison."

My sisters gasped as the shockwave travelled down the table. My mother, surprisingly, looked resigned.

"Oh, Derek, the way you talk about Meredith," she said plainly. "It was just a matter of time. It's better now than later."

"Derek, are you sure you want to do this so quickly?" Pam asked. "Are you sure you're not just angry because Addie came to Seattle?"

I nodded my head. "It's been heading this way for awhile – this week I was just reminded of that."

"How does Addison feel about this?" Kathleen asked, always analyzing.

"She's in denial, of course. She says she wants to try again and she won't accept the fact that I want a divorce. She doesn't really have a choice in the matter, though."

"What happens if she refuses?" Candace asked, absentmindedly playing with a placemat.

"Then Derek takes Addie to court, and I tell the judge that Addison admitted the affair to me," Nancy sighed.

Everyone stared at Nancy. No one knew what to say.

"What?" she snapped defensively. "I know she's my friend, but he's my brother!"

"Well, thank you for putting family first, Nancy," Mom said. "I know this must be painful for you."

I yawned loudly. "Well, that was a really long flight and I'm pretty tired."

"But of course," Mom said, rising from her chair. "Derek, you're set up in the first bedroom on the left. And we'll make sure to keep the kids out of your room." She winked.

"Thanks, Mom," I said, hugging her short frame. "For everything."

"Good night, Derek," she whispered back.

---

I am standing at the edge of the cliff on my land, overlooking Eliot Bay. There is not a cloud in the sky. The sun is shining bright, and though there is a crisp breeze in the air, Seattle is more beautiful than I have ever seen it. It is early spring, and though I've never been in Seattle in the springtime, I am amazed at how vibrant all of the trees and grass and flowers are.

String music floats gently on the breeze. I look down, and find that I am wearing a tuxedo. I hear soft footsteps behind me. I turn around, slowly.

Mark, my former best friend, is smiling and beckoning me, motioning for me to join him. With him is a younger brunette woman, whose dark eyes are alive with happiness. He's wearing a tuxedo, and she's wearing a lavender gown. Even though I know it's Mark, I feel no hatred. I follow him.

He escorts me to a floral arch, lavishly decorated with lavender roses. I stand there, waiting. A man I do not know beams at me. I smile back, and then notice, for the first time, that there are others. Mark stands behind me, with Alex Karev and red-headed man I do not recognize.

Dozens of people, sitting on folding chairs in front of me, ready for a show. I recognize my mother, my sisters, and their families. But there are others, too.

There are doctors from Seattle Grace that I know. But there are more faces that I do not know.

And suddenly, the string quartet I had forgotten begins to play again, and all eyes turn to a copse of trees behind all of the chairs. Then, I realize…I am at a wedding.

Three women emerge from the copse. One of them is the younger woman who was with Mark. Izzie Stevens follows. And then Cristina Yang.

I know who will appear next. My heart swells to an impossible size in my chest, and the anticipation is almost too much.

And then…I wake up.

---

"UNCLE DEREK, UNCLE DEREK, YOU'RE BACK!" I opened my eyes to three very-awake young children bouncing on my bed. Lindsey, Erica, and Katy – three of my many nieces – were very happy to see me.

"Shh, guys, keep it down," I whispered in my best fun voice.

"Mommy says that you been sleep for long nuff," Lindsey said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Mommy said, that, huh?" I asked, rolling the girl on her back and tickling her. She giggled, along with her sister and cousin. I made a mental note to thank Nancy for the wake-up call.

Pamela walked into the open door, jiggling Billy, her 13-month-old, on her hip. "Hey, girls, guess what? Grandma says it's time for breakfast, and she made blueberry pancakes!"

And that finished it. The three girls raced out of the bedroom and down the stairs more quickly than I would think safe. Pamela leaned against the door way.

Pamela had always been the quiet one in a cast of characters. Kathleen was the helpful one, always giving advice and playing the little mother. Nancy was the trendsetter, and her word was law. If Kathleen was the mother, Nancy was definitely the father. She made sure we each knew her opinion on what she thought we all should do with ourselves – how to dress, how to act, what to say. Candace was the bubbly baby, making friends with everything and everybody. I was the dorky, sensitive brother. Pamela, though intelligent and creative, was more shy than the rest of us and people often tended to forget that she was there.

But now, I saw that it made her a better mother to her children. Though she certainly had her own personality, she made her children the highlight as she faded into the background, giving them plenty of room. Pam was always the quiet cheerleader, supporting us as we took a more active role.

My heart stung as I realized that I could imagine Meredith standing right next to Pam, baby on her hip.

No, no, no, Derek. You're friends. Shake that thought from your head.

"No need to rush, Der, Mom's got your cinnamon ones cooking now," Pam said, waking me from my reverie. "Though you might consider showering before you come downstairs."

"Mmm, good point," I sat up and put my feet over the side of the bed groggily. "I'll be down soon."

Breakfast at Mom's when the whole family was there was always an event. The kitchen table that was the source of much gossip was kept the adult table while the kids were in the dining room. My older nieces and nephew were charged with babysitting, and it provided us all with a chance to relax and enjoy each other.

I quickly showered, dressed, and made myself presentable to stroll downstairs. To my complete surprise, EVERYBODY was showered, dressed, and awake when I got down there. Had I really slept almost twelve hours?

"Well, if it isn't Sleeping Beauty!" Candace proclaimed as I walked, dumfounded, into the kitchen. She placed a plate stacked high with pancakes in my hand. "Finally, we might be able to get this show on the road!"

Reading my puzzled expression, Mom stepped in.

"The girls and I are going out shopping – you need some new clothes, you didn't take that many with you when you left. And we have to get some groceries for dinner tonight." She smiled at her family around her. "And since we normally have a family Halloween, I figured this year you and the guys could take the kids out to get their costumes together."

Normally, every Halloween, we all gathered at my mother's house for Halloween. We'd all dress the kids and take them around the neighborhood, and after we got back and put them to bed, we'd commence our own celebration. Of course, since Candace, Addie, and I didn't have children, we'd rotate being the candy-passer-outers. In pairs. Last year, it had been unfortunate enough to be that Candy and Addie were paired together. Neither got along very well.

I rolled my eyes, but agreed. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as you finish." My brother-in-law closest in age, Greg, came out of the dining room where the kids were finishing up their breakfasts. "Welcome home, buddy." He clasped my hand and shook it firmly.

"Well, I guess I'd better get started, then," I smiled, turning to my breakfast.

---

We all split up and Greg, Troy, Rob, and I took the boatload of kids to the Halloween Store. With fourteen kids and four men, Greg and I each got three while Troy and Rob took four since most of the kids were theirs.

In my care were Katy, Lindsey, and Bethany, who my brothers referred to as the "Uncle Derek Fan Club". As I followed my brothers in Pamela's Toyota Camry with three carseats in back, they were asking all forms of random questions because they were so excited.

"What should I be?" Bethany asked excitedly. "I wanna be Mariah Carey!"

"I don't think Mommy would like that very much," I smiled. "How about you be a rock star?"

"Yeah, Uncle Derek!" she said excitedly.

"How about you, Lindsey?" I asked indulgently. "What do you want to be?"

"I want to be Hermione," she said primly. "Like Harry Potter."

"Ooh, that'll be fun," I replied. "How about you, Katy?"

"Princess bride." She said it blankly, without any excitement. I frowned.

"You okay, Katy Kat?" I asked.

She nodded, but she didn't seem okay. Maybe once I had the other girls occupied with costumes, I could figure out what was up.

When we finally got there, Troy, as oldest father, rallied the troops.

"Okay, kids, make sure you stay with your adult," he said sternly. "We don't want ANYBODY to get lost. Listen to what your dads or uncles say." He bounced his littlest girl, Jenna, in her Snugli. Then, to the rest of us, "Okay, guys, we'll meet back here in about an hour and a half. We've all got each other's numbers?" We all nodded in unison. "Let's go."

It was all I could do to keep them from dashing off.

"Let's all hold hands," I reminded them. They reluctantly clasped hands and we set off into a veritable wonderland of costumes.

Right away I saw a section for magic. The witch things that we needed for Lindsey's costume would probably be there.

"Lindsey, let's find you a magic wand and a cauldron you can put candy in!" I said excitedly.

Lindsey's eyes widened as she looked at all the wands, from a classic Harry Potter wood wand to a pink sparkly one to one whose tip lit up when you waved it. Being a little girl, of course, she seized upon the sparkly one and I added it to the basket, along with a small cauldron that would not be too difficult for a four-year-old to carry.

We kept wandering until I found a floral tiara that would be perfect to hold Katy's vale.

"How about this, Katy?" I asked, placing it on my own head to try and get a laugh.

Katy simply nodded solemnly. It wasn't like her. I put it in the basket and hoped that she would lighten up soon. We spent the next forty minutes wandering the store, finding more costume elements and putting them in the basket. Bethany was found squealing over a prepackaged rock star costume that she absolutely had to have. One down, one and a half to go.

We ended up finding a black cloak and a red Catholic school uniform to complete Lindsey's Hermione costume, so all we needed to find was a scepter, gown, and veil for Katy, who so far was remaining unengaged in the process.

"Ooh, look Katy, a medieval section!" I tried in vain to get her excited. "I bet we'll find what we need there!"

At this point, Lindsey and Bethany were getting bored and wanted to get to the checkout line, where they knew I would buy them each a candy bar, so they were also trying to help Katy put together her costume.

"Here's a pretty sticky-mabob!" Lindsey ran over, brandishing a paste jewel scepter for her older sister. Katy simply took it and put it in the basket. Bethany managed to find a lovely white veil, and put that in the basket, too.

"Okay, kiddo," I said, exasperated. "All's that's left is the gown, and since I don't know your size you're going to have to try one on."

Katy had gone from being expressionless to glaring at me. Puzzled, I picked up a white fairy princess dress in a youth extra small and escorted the girls to the dressing rooms.

"Can you put that dress on by yourself, or do you want Lindsey to come in and help you?" I asked. Katy simply shut the door. I took that as my answer.

"Uncle Derek, I need to go potty!" Bethany whined.

"Well, I can't leave Katy in there alone," I thought aloud. "Tell you what, the bathrooms are right around the corner, you go with Lindsey and then you two come and meet me RIGHT back here."

"Okay, Uncle Derek!" The girls giggled and ran off. Since I'd be able to hear them, I wasn't too worried about the two going by themselves.

I leaned against the wall of the dressing room, thinking about asking Katy what was wrong but deciding to leave it. I waited for five minutes before I heard a piercing scream coming from the bathroom.

Panicked, I ran over to see what was the matter. Bethany was sitting on the floor of the bathroom on a puddle, with Lindsey trying to pull her arm up.

"What's going on here?" I shouted.

"She was running and she fell," Lindsey told me as Bethany sat, whimpering, on the floor. She pointed, indicating the puddle, and stopped hauling on Bethany's arm. I scooped the little girl up and put her, upright, on the floor.

Damn janitors, I thought. They could at least put out a wet floor sign.

"You okay?" I knelt, asking Bethany on her level. She wiped her eyes, nodding, and her crying dulled. "Okay, let's go check on Katy and see how pretty she looks in her princess dress."

I walked out with the two girls to see the door to the dressing room open, with no Katy inside. Her street clothes were still there. My heart skipped a beat.

"Katy!" I called. "Where are you?"

No answer.

"KATY!" Lindsey screamed. "YOU BAD GIRL, COME BACK!"

"Shh," I shushed. "We have to go find your little sister."

Suddenly, Greg appeared from around the corner.

"Hey, Derek, how's it going?" he asked cheerfully, all three kids in tow. "We're just about…"

"We have a runaway bride situation," I interrupted.

"What?" he asked, confused, silently tallying the kids I had with me. "Where's Katy?"

"I left her alone for ten seconds when Beth screamed, and she's gone. She's been weird all day."

"Here, I'll take Lindsey and Bethany so you can go look for her."

"Thanks, Greg."

"Good luck, Der."

I started searching every aisle frantically in the vain hope that Katy was hiding in plain sight. Maybe she'd come out to find me not there, so she went to look for me.

After ten minutes of frantic search, I was up at the front of the store prepared to start looking under every display when I saw Rob.

"Hey, Derek, we just checked out. Is something wrong?"

I sighed. "Katy was changing into a dress and Bethany screamed. I went to check her for ten seconds and Katy wandered off."

"Wait just a second," Rob said, his voice rising. "You mean to tell me you lost my daughter?"

"What was I supposed to do?" I argued. "Stay there? Beth could've been hurt!"

"Derek!" I heard Greg's voice call from across the store. "We found her!"

Rob leapt into action to go see his daughter in person. I herded Rob's kids towards the back of the store.

Katy was hiding in the cardboard castle that surrounded the medieval display.

"Katy, honey, are you okay?" Rob asked, frantic.

"No," she said angrily.

"What happened, sweetie, are you hurt?"

She glared at me, and pointed. "You made Aunt Addie go away."

My face went white. Rob blinked, and scooped up the little girl.

"What did you say?" he asked his daughter, dumbfounded.

"He made Aunt Addie go away." She pouted.

"Princess," I crouched to her level. "Aunt Addie wanted to go away. She still loves you very much, but she needed to go away."

"We were going to play dress-up next time she was here," Katy sniffled. "Now you're here, and she's gone."

"I'm sorry, hon," I said, kissing her forehead. "But I love you very much. And so does Aunt Addie."

"And nothing makes running away like that okay," her father added sternly. "Now apologize to Uncle Derek for making him worry and calling him names."

Katy shuffled her foot against the floor. "Sorry, Uncle Derek."

I hugged the little girl. "As long as the princess is okay." I scooped her up and grinned. "Now, what kind of chocolate does Katy like?"

---

All of the kids left the store with Halloween costumes, and after an unhealthy but delicious mass lunch at McDonald's, we brought them back to the house so the little ones could take naps until the girls got home. After getting beaten on five times in a row by my nephews, Freddie and Bobby, at Madden, I retreated upstairs to the kitchen to share a beer with my brothers-in-law.

"Derek, man, I'm so sorry," Rob said, handing me a cold Corona.

"Really, Rob, it's not a big deal," I said. "We found her and that's the important part."

Rob blinked. "Oh…well, actually, I meant about Addison."

I sighed. "Yes, that. Well, you know, it was one of those inevitable things, I suppose."

"So I hear there's someone new?" Troy asked conspiratorially.

"There was," I corrected. "Meredith. Things…kind of fell apart a little after I told her about the marriage." While I could talk candidly with my sisters about the situation with Meredith, I just didn't feel as comfortable around my brothers. They would get the abridged version.

"Dude, I'm sorry," Greg said, taking a swig of his beer. "How are things in Seattle otherwise?"

Seattle, in my mind, was so closely linked with Meredith I could scarcely separate the two.

"Things are okay." I shrugged. "Less money and more hours, but the cases are definitely more interesting and I get to work with some of the best surgeons in the country…none that are quite my caliber of course."

The guys all laughed. None of the other guys were doctors – Troy was the president of a bank, Rob was a professional chef, and Greg was a lawyer – but being married to doctors, they did understand a lot of what went on, in both private practice and hospitals.

I then heard the garage door open, meaning that my mother and sisters must be home. Sure enough, the mud room door opened moments later, followed by women with handfuls of shopping bags.

My mother entered first, hands full of four bags that she proceeded to shove into my arms.

"They're all for you, dear," she panted, moving out of the way for Pam who came in next. "You took so little to Seattle with you."

"Thanks, Mom," I groaned, rolling my eyes. I set the bags on the ground and started peeling through them. A suit jacket and pants. Plain gray tees and button-downs, all with designer labels. Jeans and sweaters. All sorts of clothing. "How am I going to get this all back? I only brought a little rolling bag.

Pam unloaded a large suitcase onto the kitchen table.

"Taken care of." My younger sister admired her purchase.

"Don't just thank me," Mom reprimanded. "Your sisters helped pick some things out, too."

Kathleen and Nancy slipped in with their own bags, which all looked fit to burst.

"Yes, if anything he's gotten a bit thinner since he left, so everything should fit fine," Kath mused, looking me up and down. Nance nodded.

"And Derek, you're eating enough out there?" Mom asked sternly.

I shook my head – it was like a bad stereotype. "Of course Mom."

Greg tried to stifle a laugh, only to be elbowed by Pam.

"Hey," I said, something dawning on me. "Where's Candace?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Nancy frowned. "We thought she was with you."

"We thought you girls all went together," Troy argued, shaking his head. "It was just us and the kids."

"Hmmm," Mom hummed. "Strange…her car's not here, either."

"Did she tell you guys where she was going?" Rob asked.

They all shook their heads.

"She's an adult," Pam sighed, collapsing into a chair. "I'm sure she'll be back for dinner."

"That reminds me," Mom said, walking over to the table. "Pam, Rob and Kathleen have to help me start making dinner."

Pam moaned, but got up out of the chair. The other two picked up the grocery bags Kathleen had brought in and moved to the other side of the island. Nancy, meanwhile, resumed Pam's place at the table – Nancy was the only female in the family who never had to help make dinner. After all, there was a reason she had married a chef.

"So, Derek lost your daughter today," Greg said to fill the silence.

Nancy's eyes shot over to me. "You did what?"

"Hey," I went to defend myself. "Katy was in a bad mood today, about Addison not being here. So I left her in a dressing room for fifteen seconds because Beth screamed, and when I came back she was gone. We found her in ten minutes. Everything's fine." I glared at Greg. Closest to me in age, Greg was a fun-loving prankster, but at times like these it was easy to remember why sometimes his antics got old.

"Keep up the way you're going, little brother," Nance warned. "And I won't be testifying for you for anything."

All of a sudden, the mud room door opened again, and Candace appeared in the doorway.

"Hey," Troy said, peeking around the corner. "Where were you, and what were you doing?"

Candy gave Troy a sideways look, and smiled. "Catching up with an old friend," she said mysteriously, and then a smile lit up her face. "Speaking of which," she exclaimed, stepping to the side, "look who I found!"

And Candace's body gave way to reveal a tall man standing in the garage, adorned in a leather jacket and jeans. He was familiar…infuriatingly familiar. A scowl worked its way to my mouth.

Because the bold man standing on my mother's doorstep was none other than Mark Sloan.

---

McIntern: Bet you didn't see that coming! I just wanted to show you how good Derek is with kids (he's gonna make an excellent father someday =P) and I figured I should reward you guys with a little bit of drama. Poor Derek, though, he can't seem to catch a break. Anyways, I'm working to have a little something for you by Sunday night, fingers crossed!