Silent Hill: The One With a Crappy Plotline; Episode XIV
"Bloody Hell," said Vincent, pushing his glasses up. Fabio squealed, "Did we win?" Harry nodded, standing.
"Yeah, even though it was rather anti-climactic." He turned to them. "Come on, we have to see if Lisa's all right!" Vincent, with a flabbergasted look, grasped the novelist by the arm.
"Surely you're kidding me. The woman tried to kill us! No doubt that, if she did survive, she'll have another crack at it."
"Even so, we're not that heartless."
Walter and Fabio glanced at each other, the latter fluffing up his red hair.
They then left the Stonger McGonger, much to Vincent's dismay, and waddled over to the deactivated Metal Gear Rex Version 2.0. Rubble surrounded and dotted it, and Harry began approaching it when a person cloaked in black landed before them. The hooded man turned to them. "...What do we have here? Some little rats, I suppose."
Harry narrowed his brow. "Who are you?"
"Ah, my name bears no significance. But I am very much aware of who you are, Mr. Mason. Unfortunately, I have little time for small talk, and I will be forced to retaliate should you interfere."
Harry ground his teeth. "Interfere? Does this involve Lisa?"
"Yes, but it does not concern you. Ah-Sullivan you are here as well." Upon hearing his name Walter pointed at himself.
"Me? What-,"
"You are very tenacious. I have allowed you to live for much too long. The rest of you will most likely be a nuisance." The Lord chuckled, and with a simple motion of his hand, the street was split in two, separating the group-Fabio and Walter on one side, Harry and Vincent on the other. "Already you have interfered in my plan, and I have taken enough risks. So, I must bid adieu... forever." Without warning he fired a gigantic blast of white energy at them. Walter dashed to the side, as did Harry, leaving Vincent and Fabio to be caught by the powerful attack. In its wake was left a ruptured street, filled with dirt, fire, and shambled buildings and streetlights. Walter and Harry got up from the dirt, covered with it.
The Lord cocked his head to the side, bemused. "So you escaped that assault. Perhaps I underestimated you... just slightly."
"Vincent! Fabio!" Harry called, looking around the destruction. He eyed the Lord hatefully. "Where are they?"
He laughed. "Your allies could not act as fast as you did. Therefore, they were incinerated."
"How could you be so cruel?" he spat, filled with rage. "They did nothing to you!"
The Lord shrugged, his tone growing cooler. "Even so, it is I that decides who lives and who dies. If I willed it, this whole planet could be turned to atoms in an instant."
"Who do you think you are, then?" Harry demanded, "God?"
"Oh no, but perhaps I should when concerning you..."
"What?" Harry shouted, each and every bone in his left leg exploding into dust. He screamed, the Lord already standing before him.
"Don't look so surprised," he said. "I created you, but you are still nothing more than a pitiful copy..." He held out his palm. It filled with light.
"Harry!" Walter shouted, sprinting out to help him. However, with nothing but a glance, he was flung away by the Lord into the sky. The novelist remained there, clutching his ruined leg as the cloaked mastermind stared at him, his palm lit up extravagantly by the light.
"Farewell, dirty copy." And then he obliterated Harry.
---
James drove the car up into the Drive-Thru of the nearest Happy Burger. He rolled down the window to relay the various orders to the loudspeaker. Henry was sitting with his arms crossed in the passenger seat, with Leon, Child Walter, and Eileen in the back seat. "...and that's how I saved Billy from the banana," said Leon, completing another of his amazing reaccounts of one of his missions. Eileen and Child Walter were breathless; Henry merely grunted.
"What was Billy doing with a poisoned banana anyway?" he asked.
"Beats me," Leon replied. Eileen sighed lovingly.
"I thought it was a magnificent story, Leon," said Eileen with a smile. Henry rolled his eyes. Leon.
"Oh, well, what can I say?" said the agent, when his cellphone rang. He took out the Razor and answered it. "Leon S. Kennedy. Oh-hey Claire. We're still up for that dinner with your brother right? Don't tell me Jill's going... Ah, good."
Then Eileen's phone rang, and she answered it as well. "Hey Ashley!" she squealed upon hearing her friend. "...Hmm? I'm just chilling with Henry and Leon? His last name? Oh, it's Kennedy. You know him? Omigosh!"
She tapped Leon on the shoulder as he put his phone away. "What?"
"Ashley wants to speak to you."
"Uh, okay." He took the phone and said, "Hello?"
"Leon!" came the squeal, and everyone could hear it as James drove to the Pick-Up window. He took the three bags of food and gave them to each person. Henry removed an onion ring and nibbled on it.
"Who was that, Eileen?"
"Ashley Graham."
He nodded and kept on eating before spewing it out over the dashboard. "The president's daughter? She's your friend?"
"Yep."
James took a sip of his Dr. Pepper, driving off. Leon handed the phone back to Eileen. "I'm just as surprised as you are... um..."
"Henry," said the brunet annoyedly.
"Ah, yes, Henry," said Leon while munching on some fries. Eileen took a rather large bite from her Double-Meat-Barbeque-Mushroom-Burger. Child Walter felt the urge to pee again. Everything was as it should be. For the moment, because James suddenly pressed on the brakes. The food went forward, Child Walter couldn't hold it, and Leon stained his jacket. Everything was not as it should be while James got out and ran over to the man lying face-down in the street. The others went after him, and Henry knelt down beside the man.
"Walter! Hey, man, you okay?"
The coatless blond stirred, and once he saw Henry, he scurried away in fright. "Hey, wait!" said Henry, and Walter just stared at him increduously.
"You mean... you're not going to try and kill me?"
"No, man, we're cool. Why would I ever try and kill you?"
"Uh..." Walter scratched his head, shrugging. "Dunno." Henry eyed Walter quizzically.
"Where's your coat?" he questioned. Walter looked over himself, cursing under his breath.
"That bloody old man! Curse him, for all that he's worth!" He looked to the rest of them, sighing. "I see you've got a nice little group here. I miss anything?"
"You're welcome to join us, Wally," stated Eileen happily. She almost glomped him, but it took all the restraint in the world not to. Henry was about to say something, but Leon pushed him out of the way.
"Who is this?" he asked, a little curious about Walter's look; the guy's clothing was ripped up, he was covered in dust and dirt, and he had some blood on him. Henry groaned.
"This is a friend of ours, and it's none of your business." Hearing this, Leon giggled confidently.
"Did I ask you if it was my business? I was only curious."
"Okay, listen here pretty-boy-,"
"Pretty-boy?" Leon laughed, sliding a hand through his hair. "No," he said, his expression becoming stony, "you listen. You're in no position to order me around. I'm the badass here, you're not." They glared at each other for a few moments, Henry staring into Leon's eyes.
"Want to prove it?"
"Bring it on."
In a flash they had produced their knives--Henry with his paper-cutter and Leon with his combat one--and clashed. Spinning elegantly they matched blade against blade, ending in a draw, but James got between them. "Now's not the time for this, guys! We can't be fighting amongst each other!"
"Yeah," said Leon, backing away. The photagrapher gave him a nasty look, but nodded. Sirens sounded in the distance, a car rushed by. A spear was hurdled at them.
"Sullivan!" came a roar, Henry, James, and Leon avoiding the projectile as it crashed into the car. They all turned to see the second Pyramid Head standing some ways off, bathed in fury. He pointed a bloody finger in Walter's direction. "Time to die, you rat! You escaped last time because I was careless, but this time I'll be sure to tear you limb from limb!"
The blond smirked. "As persistent as ever I see; get killed twice and you still stand."
"Indeed." Just as the second Pyramid Head was going to rush him, however, Henry stepped in the way.
"Hey, I remember you!" he yelled, readying his Steel Pipe. "But didn't Walter kill you?"
"Imbecile! I am one of the Holy Executioners in service to our Lord! Thus, I am not one too be defeated so easily!" it screamed, before James stepped up.
"I should've known you'd be here too," he said, drawing his pipe as well. The second Pyramid Head growled.
"Sunderland!" it boomed. "Perfect! Now I can destroy you and fulfill my charge!" He produced another spear and flew at them, swinging his spear in a wide arch. Henry and James rolled under it and struck at him with their weapons, making contact. The demon thrusted repeatedly, but the two managed to dodge the attacks. "Stay still!" cried their adversary, with Leon watching a tad dumbfounded.
"Who's that?" he inquired.
"A demon," answered Walter.
"Oh."
Henry and James attacked the Executioner with all their power, but he just kept rising. With a cold laugh, it said, "See how futile your resistance is? You will die!" Henry chuckled.
"Sure," he remarked, strafing around. "but this ain't over yet!" He and James stabbed the Pyramid Head simultaneously, driving their pipes inward. The demon roared, dropping his spear, which Henry grabbed. "Walter!" he yelled, "Catch!" The blond moved forward and caught the weapon, running forward while jousting at the monstrous figure. The spear plowed into it, Walter ripping it out as quickly as it went in.
"Stay dead this time, will you?" he said, slamming the spear into the demon's head. The second Pyramid Head fell still, truly dead. Leon grinned and started applauding them.
"Good job guys," he commented, "although I probably could've done a cleaner job of it..."
Henry blew a few bangs out of his eyes. "Right. Anyways, don't you think we should've interrogated him first?"
"Nah," replied James. "Wouldn't have said anything anyway. Besides, there's only one place their base could be... Silent Hill." As he said this lightning struck down and, far off, in the Brazilian wilderness, a baby slapped its mother.
"Great idea!" said Eileen, but she tripped and fell on her head, laughing and laughing. "Omigosh, I'm so horny!" The others just stared at her as if she was high on pudding, which she was. Child Walter yawned. Leon snorted.
"Tell me then, how are we going to make it to Silent Hill?" he asked plainly. Henry scowled at him while stroking his chin.
"That's it!" he yelped. He grinned at each of them. "Come on guys, we need to go see a friend of mine."
Bleh. I hate this job.
"So, uh, what are you guys doing here?" asked Heather. Jasper shrugged, hugging his knees.
"I d-don't know, we k-k-kind of j-just w-w-w-woke up here after..." He looked at Cynthia, narrowing his brow in concentration. "D-Do you r-r-remember?"
"No," she replied, smiling. "But I'll tell you one thing, I would never have met you if whatever happened hadn't happened."
"Y-Yeah," said Jasper with an idiotic chuckle, and they then proceeded to rubbing their noses together. Douglas and Heather exchanged odd glances.
"Well, we have to get out of here," said the blonde, straightening out her skirt. "They got us last time, so..." She perked up. "Mary!" Turning around, she knocked on the wall a few times. "Hey, Mary, Mary! Are you there?" There was a short silence, and then a response.
"I'm here."
"Are you okay?"
"Oh, I'm fine... but... I think some insect is breeding next to me," she replied, and Heather tried to not think about it.
"Anyway, we have to get out of here, and we're going to need your help."
"Oh, alright, but how can I help? I'm practically useless..."
"Come on, don't say that. Listen, this is what we're going to do... I think..."