Chapter 14

Thrive to Live

Now—

Their hands were touching him again, their filthy hands going over every centimeter of his small tainted body as he tried to fight them off. Two men held his wrist firmly as another two held his ankles to keep him standing in front of the large audience of drooling men and women. They were all hungry for meat to assault repeatedly until their desires were met, and then another man came towards him to touch his body to show off every detail of him. Toushirou screamed and yelled to be released, a woman then came up on the stage and looked at him closely as she licked her lips at him—

"No!" The captain woke up, shoving whoever was hovering over his body. "Don't touch me you bastard!"
"Taichou—it's okay—it's me!" Rangiku tried to calm him down due to seeing him having a nightmare.
"Get the Hell away from me!" He held his head as his reiatsu skyrocketed in which made the room cold.

Not knowing what to do for him when seeing how terrified he was, had only made her terrified as well to see that he could show such pain. Why was Ichigo all the way over in the fourth division at this dire moment as her captain's reiatsu began to weigh her down seriously. She was only there to tell him that it was almost noon and he had yet waken up in which was obviously because he was having a nightmare. Since last night was Friday, Ichigo and Toushirou had been coming to Soul Society to stay over for the weekends to do some separate work. The Strawberry was out of bed at sunrise to learn what he could today while under the teachings of the Fourth Squad Captain. It had taken a few painfully long minutes until Ichigo made it to the barracks of the tenth division, panting from using flash steps with adrenaline.

"Toushirou…" He called quietly, standing there at doorway before closing it as he came in. "Tou—"
The captain rushed over and clung to him desperately. "I'm sorry, I won't disobey again, I'm sorry!"
"Disobey—Toushirou," Ichigo sighed softly as he knelt down to be eyelevel with him, "calm down."
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" His arms wrapped around him, sobbing. "Don't leave me with them! Please!"

"Hey," having no choice, he pulled him off to have him focus, "you need to calm down, you're in Soul Society, and no one here is going to hurt you!" Shaken, the captain looked at him as he tried to look around to see that he was in his own room. "Do you remember? We came here last night so you can work from your office today and tomorrow. If you don't calm down, I'll have to sedate you this time."

"They were touching me…" Toushirou finally calmed down. "T-Their hands… they…"
"Their all dead, I made sure that they would never come back. You're safe now."
His franticness had easily exhausted him. "I don't… want to… go back… to sleep…'

Despite saying this, the captain's little body collapsed against Ichigo as light little snore filled the room, leading Ichigo to tuck him back in. Rangiku watched the scene of how well this man was taking care of her very troubled captain, but it also made her feel a little guilty as well. After making sure that Toushirou was snuggled into the futon to sleep, he began to get up to leave—a hand caught his sleeve. Only to look down and see that the sleeping captain had grasped on tightly to him in attempts of having him stay there as he slept a little longer. This was really beginning to cause problems on many levels; Ichigo needed to train, needed to feed on reiatsu due to lack of producing it, and watch this small one almost constantly.

"Do you know why he's been reacting like this?" Rangiku asked softly, worried about their little captain.

"Yeah, I'm not spoiling him as much at my place, but while we're here, he doesn't want to be spoiled at all." Ichigo slowly sat down and the grasp gave some slack. "But when I felt his reiatsu going crazy, I felt yours nearby, and knew you would be in danger." His attention went behind her. "Tell the others whatever you want to divert their attention, just don't tell them about what just happened." He got up with the grasp on his clothing released—instantly stirring the captain that had just fell asleep.

"…Kuro…saki…" Turquoise eyes fluttered, but decided to remain shut. "Stay longer."
"I was in the middle of a lesson with Unohana-san, I can't stay here for long Toushirou."
Said captain began to recall what happened when waking up. "Did I hurt Matsumoto?"
"Your reiatsu was a little heavy on her." He looked to the woman who then walked out.
"I see," after she left, Toushirou whispered, "It wouldn't happen if you sleep with me."
"What are you talking about, I sleep in the futon right next to you." His smile appeared.
"You know exactly what I mean, don't play with me. Why can't we just get it over with?"

"Ever since I said that we could have it my way, you've been having these nightmares when I'm not around, it tells me that you're not ready for my lead." His hand rustled the little captain's hair when he had sat up to receive this attention. "If you're going to stay up, how about you go to your office and do your work for a while, okay?" He watched as Toushirou looked down quietly in thought, making him turn his head away with slight annoyance. "I want to talk about this tonight, okay? Rangiku-san is covering this."

"Can we talk about it now?" There was uncertainty in his voice. "I placed Matsumoto in danger…"

Disappointment filled the captain as the hand left his head of hair, but it was substituted by the man sitting on the mat next to his futon. His eyes widened in surprise to see that this man was going to spare him a few minutes by pushing his lessons with Retsu away for a little longer. With the privilege of taking this man's very busy schedule, Toushirou straightened himself out to sit properly in front of him, quietly.

"What are you afraid of?" The man asked, startling the captain. "What is it that has you so terrified?"
"A repeat of everything that happened," he answered honestly. "I don't want to be touched—by them."
This quick addition to his words was acknowledged. "But you want to be touched by me, is that it?"
"…and others," there was slight hesitation. "Hinamori and Matsumoto—Abarai even, I'm adjusting."
"And you're doing really well with them. Momo and Rangiku-san' outbursts aren't startling you now."
"I know that I've recovered to the point where I have no reaction towards anyone, and only a limited amount of people touch me." He paused, then added. "I can even allow Momo to embrace me now."
"Toushirou, you need to remember to take things slow, there is a chance you can have a setback."
"It's been nine months since then, I have another three months to recover." His lips curved in a smile.

"Then I'll have you wait another three months until I have my way with you, with your consent." Once Ichigo stated this sharply, it gave the little one a moment to think on that. "Look at me," turquoise eyes connected with chocolate brown, "anyone who had even looked at you is in Hell, and no one will touch you unless you give them permission." He smiled in turn now. "You just need to let me go, Toushirou."

"I don't have to if I don't want to." It was obvious that this man was catching on; his nightmares at the apartment—the fake nightmares, were different from the ones that were real here in Soul Society.
"You said yourself that you wanted me to stop spoiling you slowly, and you've been acting out because of it." This earned him a pouty scowl. "You lash out, you're irritated more, and you light up when I appear."
"Don't say that." Toushirou snorted as he looked a little angry. "Just because I'm not physically mature, doesn't make me a child. If anything, the events I've been through have made me more adult than you!"
Silence filled the air as he bit his tongue to fight objecting. "Possibly," he muttered under his breath. "But, what I said is true, and I need to start pushing you a little farther so you can have your independence."

He watched as the man's hues turned golden. "You don't want to do that either though, your Hollow is fighting you right now to keep me close, isn't it—?" Ichigo was up on his feet instantly, and turned away. The little captain also jumped up to stop him from leaving on bad terms, but tripped over the covers. "Ah—!" The man turned and caught him while on a foot, causing him to lose balance and fall on his back.

"Get…off…" Ichigo seethed, trying to contain himself with the little captain over the one spot that was getting aroused. As the other slowly obeyed to remove himself, he stood up quickly while opening up a garganta with a snap of the fingers. "Tell Unohana-san I'll be late getting back." With that, he jumped in.

"Kurosaki!" He was too late, Ichigo was gone.

X—

"Did you two get into a fight?" Rangiku asked softly, not pressuring her captain. "Ichigo isn't mad at you."

He ignored his lieutenant as he tried to deal with his work without thinking of that man who suddenly left Soul Society to get away from him. There was nothing that he could do, knowing that Ichigo was angry at him—but he also knew that Ichigo had wanted him at that moment. Toushirou desired to know what was going on in that man's head, in his Hollow's head, and everything else going on with him. A shadow appeared over his desk, causing him to look up at the woman who looked down at him worriedly now.

"You can talk to me, taichou." She squatted down, leaning her hands and head against the desk. "Maybe not about what had happen to you but," her head tilted, smiling softly at him. "We can talk about Ichigo."

The hair on his nape prickled at this; his mind telling him to decline the offer, however, he was worried. "Kurosaki allows me to use him to face everything I have encountered, but now he's trying to pull away."
"That's because he's human too, he has some more years to live, so he can't stay at your side forever." It took a moment for her to register everything he said. "Wait… are you saying you two are having sex?"
"He told me once that sex is an impulse of sexual desire. We would do it once a week for a month, I asked for it to reclaim my body, he did it to calm his Hollow down." His voice lowered. "We've stopped."
"Good, because that's wrong no matter how you look at it. Ichigo shouldn't be pressuring you to do such a thing!" The woman stood up and began to pace. "I can't believe—if I see him soon, I'm going to slap him!"
"It was at my request Matsumoto." Toushirou stated firmly, making her stop in her tracks. "I admit that the day I saw you face to face, that was the day I asked him to sleep with me, and almost forced him to—"
"Wait… you almost raped Ichigo?" She tried to think about it, but shook her head. "You two are making this very difficult to understand." The lieutenant looked at him. "Okay, so how did this happen?"

"Toushirou wanted his body back through sex, I had him wait as long as possible until I knew it would no longer be safe." A man stated from the doorway, they turned to see an unhappy Ichigo. "I'm ignoring this conversation for his sake, but I have to cut in for a moment. Rangiku-san, I need a word with you, now."

The captain stood from his sit, "Kurosaki, I'm—" The man turned and left the office.
"Ichigo!" Rangiku yelled, not liking the cruel way he was treating her little captain.
Toushirou turned to her. "I want to know why he's angry at me, please talk to him."
"…if you say so." She huffed before chasing after the man who was down the hall.

It did not take long to catch up with him, although—as soon as she did, he used a flash step to leave the area for a more secluded area. When they were far enough, Ichigo stopped in place where as Rangiku made it behind him a few long seconds after him with little energy to spare. They both could sense that the little captain was doing his best to come towards them to make sure nothing happened between them. To make sure that there was no time for him to interrupt their conversation, the Strawberry turned to the woman to explain things firmly.

"I heard most of your conversation with Toushirou, and you were right about me being human." He stated as he crossed his arms. "He needs to understand that I can't stay at his side, that's your job, isn't it?"
Her expression became glum. "Are you going to hurt him?" His head shook. "Then I'll help you in any way possible, I know that he needs to break away as well, but I can't do anything to harm him either."
"He's confusing my instincts—my Hollow's side especially. If I'm less available to him, he'll learn that I'm not always available for him." The man looked up. "I can only think of using you when I think he's ready."
Being one for sneaky tricks, she got the drift, and came to him seductively. "So that means we can have impulsive sex whenever I want?" She felt her captain very close by just now. She whispered. "I'll do it."
Ichigo also felt the captain's presence—luckily after she mentioned sex. "Thank you, Rangiku-san." He learned forth and kissed her cheek until she moved her face to steal his lips greedily '…women…'

Toushirou sighed in relief when seeing that Ichigo was supposedly taking reiatsu from the woman, until it looked as if they were becoming a little intimate. Ichigo pulled away gently a few seconds later as the woman wrapped her arms happily around one of his strong muscular ones. Rangiku then began to cheer happily and asked him loudly when they would be able to go on a date, striking the captain by surprise.

"Wednesday when you don't have much work—" The man paused and looked to the sky. "What now?"
Lilinette appeared, "Kurosaki-sama!" She came over and pounded on his chest. "Go get healed already!"
"H-Hey, go back to your post, I didn't summon you." Ichigo scolded the small one. "Go back to Stark."
"There's a super large hole in your gut and you didn't use your regeneration to heal it! So get it treated!"
"Lilinette, leave!" His voice shook the ground beneath him. "You'll be in danger if you stay any longer!"

"No!"

Suddenly, another captain appeared, and it was Komamura Sajin with his Zanpakutou descending atop her head, but Ichigo used his own to fight it off with difficulty. The furred captain was taken by surprise at the defense—and a pool of blood seeped out of his shihakusho, onto the grass beneath him. After having shoved him a few feet away, Ichigo thrust his blade into ground to keep himself steady as more blood left his body, so Lilinette stayed at his side and called for Stark. Damn… that was all the Strawberry needed as Stark and Grimmjow appeared instantly, soon followed by Ulquiorra; all wanted to defend his life. As many as there were, Sajin was not afraid of going after them as he raised his Zanpakutou to summon—

"Wait Komamura-taichou!" Toushirou used a flash step to place himself in between. "They have their duties under Kurosaki, they have permission to be here from Soutaichou, I assure you!" He saw the other captain wait in caution, so he turned to the group of Menos. "Kurosaki didn't give you a command, so—"

"Shut up, Brat." Grimmjow growled. "We have our orders, but none of them require listening to your crying to defend us." His tail flickered wildly. "If he so much as attacks Kurosaki though, we're allowed to attack."
"Withdraw," Ichigo demanded breathlessly, and they turned to him. "I said withdraw!" The four hesitated on obeying, but they did nonetheless. He looked at the wolfish captain. "Sorry… about that… Ko—"
The man fell forward and collapsed. "Ichigo!" Rangiku turned him on his back and opened his robes to see a rigid hole that was only a few inches from ripping his torso in two. "How could you hide this?"
"Matsumoto, take him to the Fourth Division," Toushirou demanded sternly; the man's safety being most important to him. "I'll explain everything here since I have a better understand about this situation."

"The others have been informed about these creatures lurking around, alive." Sajin stated after the busty lieutenant left to help Ichigo. "However, only three of the many he has are only permitted in Soul Society."
"I understand that, the girl was here to make us aware of Kurosaki's wounds, she meant no harm."
He growled at the explanation. "You will blindly believe in Kurosaki Ichigo?" This received him a nod. His head turned. "Then I suppose it's only natural that I feel compelled to still trust that man, blindly as well."
"We all owe Kurosaki our lives for what he did." The smaller captain paused as he relived the past in his mind. "Some owe even more than their lives to him, and that is including myself. If you will excuse me?"

After bowing his head, the large captain left towards his previous location as Toushirou went to check—

A massive wave of terrifying reiatsu struck him as he turned; he knew this to be Kurosaki Ichigo's Hollow side, but when was it this sinister? He rushed over in seconds to see the man completely transformed into a Hollow—a Vasto Lorde to be more specific, and it was terrifying. The large hole in his abdomen was then instantly healed before his Hollow shell shattered into the wind before he began to fall backwards. It was a good thing Retsu caught him since Rangiku seemed almost petrified from the sight that she had just witnessed. Toushirou would possibly find himself just as terrified from this man if it were not for the fact that he was completely worried about the man himself. He came over to check the injury to see that it had been fully healed due to his Hollow side, and it seemed that Ichigo was once again unconscious.

"…Idiot…" Toushirou whispered.

X—

It had been hours since the carrot top had fallen asleep in Toushirou's barracks where Rangiku and Kotetsu Isane brought him. The captain had yet to sleep as he decided watch the man toss and turn with aggression and pain written all over him, worrying said captain. He would stir the man awake if he were positive that the man would not react in a violent manner as he himself would sometimes do. Ichigo then suddenly sat upright and yelled bloody murder while clasping tightly to his head—he was in dire pain now.

"Kurosaki!"

"Ulquiorra!" The Strawberry roared angrily "Kill them all!" Just then, Grimmjow appeared and sank his fangs deeply into his shoulder. "…thanks Grimmjow…" Somehow, the man began to calm down as the beast shattered his shoulder bones before releasing him. "Finish the scraps… I can't handle them now."

Grimmjow left to do as told.

"Kurosaki…" It was safe for him to come to the man, so Toushirou came over to his side. "What is it?"
"Hueco Mundo is stirring abruptly since one of them caught me off guard." He slowly lied down.
Brows furrowed at this, not exactly believing him. "Nothing catches you off guard though."
"You'd be surprise," his body shifted slightly, "there's a feeding frenzy over there."

Toushirou looked at him to see that he was already recovering from the bite wounds, but he was tired from watching the man. He scooted closer, ignoring the few centimeters of space between their futons before leaning his upper body on the man to sleep. His worry had tired him, so he wanted to go to sleep against the man to listen to the one thing that would once fell asleep to before; his heartbeat. The captain was startled when a hand came to his head, causing him to look up at the tired man to see eyes closed.

"This will be the last time… that I sleep with you…" His voice was quiet and tired. Toushirou lifted his head slowly to look at the man. "I'm tired of everything… but… it's not your fault…" He sighed softly.
"You've lost so much blood that you're not making sense." The captain began to sit up slowly. "Do you mean sleeping in the same room or—" his body was instantly lying on its back, staring into brown hues.
"Can you remember when I first took a share of your reiatsu, that you cried?" He watched as the small one weakly nodded. "I never wanted to see you cry again, despite the fact that I have, countless times."
Understanding what he meant now by 'sleep with,' Toushirou accepted it with open arms. "Even if I cry, which I won't, I want you to continue until I say stop." He looked at him softly. "Do you understand?"

"I'm talking about everything, not just this." Ichigo saw confusion in his eyes. "I'll sleep in Rangiku-san room while we're in Seireitei, and you will sleep in the guestroom on Earth. Do you understand?" A weak nod was his answer. "You have conquered everything in your path and replaced it by being dependent on me." His face lowered to his. "From this point on, I'm not going to give you any special attention, got it?"

'Something happened…' the captain thought to himself while nodded weakly once more. 'Maybe it was me that triggered this change.' He watched as his own robe was undone, his garments unraveled, and his body then fully exposed to him as he was used to. 'Maybe something happened to him while over there.' His face was gently kissed before the attention went to his nipples. 'Even though this is a routine, it's still arousing.' "Ah—!" There was a new sensation as Ichigo nipped at him, making him bite down on a finger to keep quiet. Hands held his waist and brought him into his lap to sit… this man was not aroused yet?

"You purposely ignore what type of sexual impulses I have," he tugged on the neglected nipple, earning a squeak of surprise at the sensation. "It's the real reason why you are terrified of me, so say it aloud, now."
"I-I'm not afraid of you—ah!" Toushirou did not want to say it, but his body was going crazy. "S-Sadist…" The tugs ceased and turned into nerve driving rubs. "Y-You're a sadist, but ah—y-you don't… hurt me…"
"My Hollow side yearns for blood, and your damn selfishness to produce me with your reiatsu has driven my Hollow mad." Hands roamed the small pale body. "I restrain myself every second I'm with you now."
He was slightly already aware of this, but tried his best to ignore it. "In return, I taught you something as you have taught me something." The man slowed at this, to the point of stopping. "I'm submitting to you."
A hand grabbed one of Toushirou's smaller hands, and placed it against said captain's small erection. "I'm aware of that," he had him rub against himself for friction. "But it's hard to not praise you for being good."

Hearing this startled him, "d-don't call me a good boy, please—" His rear-end was lifted up to the man's face. Pale cheeks reddened in horror from embarrassment. "Kuro—!" He clamped a hand over his mouth, trying not to stir others around him in the barracks. 'Why is he licking me there?' The captain had never felt this sensation before, and it was driving him crazy as a tongue plunged inside of him, only to pull out.

"I'm not all that interested, and you haven't ejaculated in the slightest. Without any lube either, I have to loosen you up somehow." They made eye contact, embarrassment filled hues met slightly firmly ones.
"I-If you keep doing it I'll—" The man went back to his work, this time using a hand to help stroke the member that Toushirou neglected. All the captain could do now was hold on to his head. "W-Wait, I-I'm—"
Liquid filled the man's hand, "finally," he rubbed his hand against the entrance that he would soon enter, using his finger to then stretch him out. "Why do you insist on this after reclaiming your body, huh?"
Three fingers were already inside of him, loosening his muscles. "I don't know… to practice?" Not settled with the answer, Ichigo thrust his fingers in a little more. "I-It's different… from the abuse that I've had…"

"Don't expect any more benefits." He lowered the small body to the ground. "It will be as it was before."

"No…" Toushirou shifted around to service the man so he would be aroused. "Because I'm a part of you, as you are a part of me, remember?" The length of this man was large—his body was suddenly lifted to a large chest. "I-I was just going to help you get ready." He looked into his eyes, trying to understand what was going on, but then remembered. "You like it rough… but I don't want to challenge you, I refuse to."

His body rubbed against his in a rough manner that began to stir this man, so he continued until he was at his own limits. It did not take long to find himself on the futon against his back again, this time it was to have the Strawberry penetrate him. Turquoise hues stared deeply at the man's covered eyes—trying to see what expression he had on his face before being fully entered. As his back arched into the air, he felt something wet pat against his chest, it was foreign to him—as if it were raining inside. Toushirou knew it was not possible but had to check to make sure anyway; his hand came up to brush the man's hair aside.

Tears flowed down the man's face, unhappy about the task he was doing as he began to move within the small body as he wanted in a pose he decided. This was what Ichigo desired from this, but this was not how he wanted to claim it, which mentally tore him to pieces as he continued as his partner vocalized. A pair of hands wrapped around his muscular chest to cling to his shoulders, hugging him to show how the little captain was okay with it. However, it did not matter to the Strawberry because this was not the only thing that was bothering him, there was a lot more to it than he wanted to admit to.

Kurosaki Ichigo was beginning to have strong feelings for Hitsugaya Toushirou.