Chapter Sixteen: Don't Wanna Forget How it feels Without Lithium

Madison woke up, disoriented, feeling every inch of her body in utter pain. Regrettably, she vaguely remembered what happened. Lloyd had taken it too far. He had lost his control. Madison sat up slowly, walking to the nearest mirror to see the damage.

She didn't know what his problem was, but any minuscule thing could make him flip and go crazy on her. Now, Madison was stuck with a black eye, which was the least of her problems.

There was blood everywhere, her clothes were torn to shreds, and her body was badly bruised. Instantly, Madison wanted to talk to some one, to get her mind off of things, but she'd been so fixated on Jimmy that he was the only one she could call.

She had separated herself from anyone else that mattered and for what? Nothing.

He did not want to talk to her right now. There was only one other friend she could count on. Madison headed for her tourniquet, but she realized that she that she had nearly used it all. Crap.

As Madison wondered frantically around her house, she could see the blood dripping off her body, but she didn't care. There was something else that was bothering her. The flashbacks of what happened were growing more vivid. The rape. She hated that word, but that's what Lloyd had done to her.

But he wasn't the first. He probably wouldn't be the last either. Madison closed her eyes, hoping that when she opened them all these thoughts would go away.

They never did. They always stayed with her, but now Madison was smarter. She could forget her past with her little friend that flowed all the way from the veins in her arms through her entire body.

Madison reached for her pack, deciding to use up what was left. As she felt the heroin in going in, she knew it wouldn't do anything for her. Not this time.

There had to be something else, something that … her prescription pills, the ones that she never used. Lithium, prescribed after she got into a fight with her mom and caused her miscarriage.

Such a long time ago. So many things Madison had forgotten were starting to come back. She was supposed to have been taking them for a while … Madison started with one and then waited for something.

Nothing. Then, she took another and another … After about four, she started to feel something. But was it enough? Madison smiled a sick, sad smile as another pill slid into her palm. This would take the pain away.

"Where am I?" Liberty whispered, waking up to face Peter.

"The hospital."

"So… it really happened? The argument. The stairs…" She attempted to sit up. "How's the baby?"

"You should talk to the doctor about that."

"It's gone." Liberty whispered knowingly. "Just like you wanted."

"No. They're still doing tests." Peter answered, starting to feel more and more guilty. He was almost starting to believe what everyone else was already saying about him. Maybe him not wanting the kid led him to unconsciously do this to Liberty.

"How hard can it be to determine if the child is alive or not?" Liberty held back tears. "How could I have fallen down the stairs. I'm always so careful."

"Accidents happen." Peter took her hand gently, relieved that she hadn't pieced all the puzzle pieces together yet.

"Yeah. But you are a little relieved aren't you?"

"Just that you're okay." Peter lied. Now that the baby was gone, he could go on with his life.

"I'm here to see Manny." Gianni stated as he felt himself and the car being searched. He looked back at Heather who had fallen half asleep from the long drive.

It was just as well. He had to talk to Manny about some things that he didn't want anyone else to know about. Gianni had thought about it and real hard. He couldn't leave her there to just sit and rot.

It'd been a few days, giving Gianni time to cool off, but now he just wanted to get her away from this Ritchie guy, only to put her in the arms of another less-than-deserving guy, Marco. At least he would be helping out his brother.

Gianni walked through the damp yard, after the inspection, half-expecting to see a bunch of playboy bunny types or druggies. "Manny?" He asked the first girl he saw and was instantly pointed in the right direction.

Meanwhile, Manny was up in her room, unable to think about anything but her situation. Each day she stayed here made it harder and more difficult to get out. She had to start thinking about 'we' instead of just herself.

A mini-Manny was involved now and she was just going to have to accept the fact that she had put herself in this position for no real reason.

"Come in." She muttered upon hearing a knock on her door. Well, at least she could rule out Joni, who always just busted in.

"We need to talk." Gianni appeared in front of her, soaking wet.

"What? Not here and not now. How did you get in here?" She wondered, tugging at his wet clothes. "Don't say anything. Just take everything off." Manny whispered, blasting the music in her room.

They bugged him. She knew it. They just had to keep a watch on everything the girls did and said.

It was just the kind of thing the girls talked about that happened in the past. Now that Manny was starting to see the different sides of Ritchie and Joni, which was scaring her, who was she to push them to their limit?

"Manny, what--"

She reached for Gianni's jacket, placing it on the floor.

"Just follow me." She stated, removing some of her things as well. Manny wasn't exempt from the bugging, but they probably just put audio recorders in her room.

Within minutes, she and Gianni stood in front of each other, with nearly nothing left on, him in his boxers, her in her underclothes. They'd stood before each other like this before, but it was different now. She wasn't trying to seduce him. Manny just needed help.

First, she had to tell him everything. She blasted an old No Doubt CD to make sure that what they said stayed between the two of them.

"What's this about?"

"Whatever you say to me, I want it stay between us. Why are you here?" Manny whispered directly into his ear, trying not to get distracted by the situation.

"I want to get you out of here. I'm going to."

"So you brought the ring?"

"Screw the ring Manny. I'll take you out with me right now. I swear, if that's what you want." He promised.

"It doesn't work that way. You don't know these people like I do."

"You need to come home. This isn't a safe place for you to be. I did my research and … you could disappear like that." Gianni snapped his fingers. "I'll do whatever it takes."

"Then, find the money." Manny whispered back. "They won't let me go that easily."

"Then, I'll kill him."

"Gianni." Manny's tone changed as she sighed.

"I'm serious. Anyone who stands in my way is gone."

"Why, why are you saying this to me? What about the girl you're seeing?"

"This has nothing to do with anyone, but us two. There's just something that … won't let me leave you here, even though you deserve it." Gianni smiled. "Look at it as one friend's love for another friend." He explained as Manny hugged him suddenly.

It felt so good to have someone to hold and to not be alone all the time. Gianni really cared about Manny and that meant something.

"Promise to be safe."

"I promise."

"Tragic news today as the body of a seventeen-year-old Degrassi student has been found. The victim—who's name has not yet been released—was found in an apartment yesterday, motionless. She apparently over-dosed on .."

Sean Cameron turned to face the television. What were the odds of that? Out of all the high schools in Toronto. He shrugged it off.

"… her school activities included yearbook staff and Spirit Squad. She was also on the honor roll."

Now, the news anchor had Sean's attention. Spirit Squad? That meant that he probably knew this girl.

"Parents of immigrants from Somolia, the victim..

Sean stopped in his tracks. No way. It couldn't be … but all the signs pointed to the fact that the victim, the one who died from a drug overdose, was Hazel Aden, his Hazel that he told to get lost… Too bad she did.

And all of that got Sean to thinking … people didn't just overdose on accident. They knew what they were doing and what the consequences were.

Hazel had tried to kill herself … and it was so obvious. Sean immediately wondered if he had anything to do with it. Maybe, just maybe he pushed her too far.

And maybe, Sean was getting exactly what he deserved. He pushed Hazel away, left her alone when she needed him most. Now, he'd never get to feel her presence. Ever.

"Do you have to go?" Manny whispered to Gianni becoming more and more accustomed to the feeling of Gianni's strong arms around her body.

"Yeah. Heather's waiting in the car--"

"You're seeing her?" She asked abruptly, but tried to hide her disappointment. "I … what is she doing here?"

"It was actually her idea for me to come here, but she's knocked out in the car." Gianni smiled. Manny bit her lip. She missed the smile. She missed everything about the real world now that she was trapped in this nightmare.

"Can't you just blow her off and stay here with me?" She wondered. "It'll be completely … nothing. Nothing will happen."

"You can't ask me to do stuff like this." Gianni sighed, releasing his grip from Manny. "How can I spend the night in the same room with you and have nothing happen?"

"Because that's how it's going to be. I can't lose Marco as a friend, so keep him out of this … I- I don't want … I can't lose the two most important men in my life."

"Yeah. It's always about Marco isn't it?" Gianni muttered under his breath. "You're willing to lose me." Gianni declared.

"It's not that cut and dry. I want you both in my life."

"This is really screwed up, you know." He answered, pulling on his jeans.

"Don't leave like this. Please." Manny pleaded. "I'll get down on my knees and beg, do whatever you want me to. I just need you to be here in case something happens."

"I have to take Heather home."

"Don't be mad at him. He should be jealous of you Gianni. You have my whole heart and he's stuck with the imitation." Manny smiled a sad smile as her voice cracked.

"I didn't mean--" Gianni reached for her, as they both paused, caught up in each other's eyes.

"Just come back to me. Soon." Manny turned away, letting out a deep breath. She'd survived a Manny-Gianni stare-down without it leading up to anything that would hurt Marco.

"Liberty. I was so worried about you." JT ran into the hospital room, rushing to her side.

"Enough with the melodramatics. I'm so ready to be out of here." Liberty answered.

"So you're okay with it?"

"There's no use getting angry. I know I've missed a few days at school but--"

"Not school. The baby. Liberty, you've lost the baby."

"What? You must be mistaken. I've already talked to Peter and--"

"That jackass! You listened to him Liberty? Peter has wanted nothing but to get rid of that kid since he knew it had been conceived. Everyone's saying the purposely pushed you down those steps." JT explained.

"Peter would never--"

"Think Liberty. Think. For one second, think about it."

"I just can't believe--"

"You'll always stick up for him, won't you? Even when it's right in front of your face …" JT shook his head. "I'll see you at school."

Hazel was dead. Hazel Aden was gone. The whole school was buzzing about it, but Sean couldn't concentrate on anything, but his own thoughts.

They were almost replaying in his head over and over again, just like those annoying Justin Timberlake songs that never seemed to quit.

He was in the midst of a bad movie and all he wanted to do was crouch away and hide. He wanted to go and find what was left of Hazel and make her come back, will her back to life.

"H-Hazel." Sean whispered, indistinctly. He shook his head. It was just a hallucination. One of the girls from Spirit Squad. 'She's gone.' He reminded himself.

Later that day, Sean saw her image again, this time near the cafeteria. He was hallucinating, bad. "So, you don't even talk to me anymore?"

Sean turned around, completely caught off guard. That was Hazel's voice.

"Hazel?"

"Having trouble remembering my name?"

"God. I …" Sean's voice broke as he scooped her up into his arms. One day and an entire weekend was all it took to make him realize how much she meant to him.

"What's going on? Don't you hate me still?" Her brown eyes searched into his for answers.

"I don't know what's what anymore. Just … whatever stupid shit I said, forget it. I love you." Sean breathed softly. "I love you." He repeated, caressing the side of her face.

"I love you too Sean, so don't be hurt when I say this … there's someone out there who needs me more than you do right now."

"I don't understand."

"Haven't you been watching the news? Madison is dead … Jimmy's Madison, the girl he was cheating on me with."

"So?"

"I owe it to him to at least care."

"So you're going to just turn me away?"

"I'm not picking sides. I'm your wife, but even with everything Jimmy did to me, no one deserves this. She's DEAD Sean. I have to be the bigger person. I have to do this. Just trust that I'm with you."

(A/N: I wrote this a long time ago, but didn't realize it until I started re-writing this chapter. Then, I remembered that I had already written it, so here it is. I think I have a way to get Manny out of her situation … maybe. I'm still hoping to have this done B4 2008! Review please. –NL)