Her Sweetness: Ha! Pretty damn fast, huh? Told you.

Rascals R Wee

Chapter 14:

As the chibis trudged through the undergrowth on the basin, Bakura said out of nowhere, "I tink I gots a bug stuck in mah crack."

Marik frowned.

Yami groaned loudly. "Why would ya tell us dat?"

"It reawy itches," he whined and tried to reach behind himself with his stubby arms. "I cant weach it, can someone get it?"

"'Kura, dat's disgustin'!" Yami shivered and began to walk faster.

In order to avoid being chosen to help with this slightly horrifying task, Marik ran to catch up with Yami and Bakura ran after them, yelling about lack of comradeship and an excess of bugs in his crack.

The hikaris had yet to figure out where they were but as soon as it was dawn, they set out on the land, trying to find civilization. They left the sight of their fallen shuttle and Ryou's only concern was that whenever they returned to Domino, the people at NASA would have their heads for crashing a multi-billion dollar investment.

They found a way around some of the thick clustered trees and down into a green valley, with a cobblestone road going down and beyond distant hills. Malik tried to ease his friend's conscience as they went along, saying, "Don't worry, Ryou. The worst they could do is sue us and are they going to get a billion dollars from any one of us?"

Yugi shook his head.

Ryou sighed.

"So, therefore," Malik wagged his finger out in front of him, "we have nothing to worry about."

"But we could lose our houses," Ryou insisted.

"We'll live in boxes!" Malik proclaimed.

Yugi pursed his lips. He said flatly, "We won't be able to afford hair gel."

Malik's eyes popped open. "Oh shit."

"Knew you'd see it our way."

The sound of their shoes clacking on the stones below was the only sound for a while as they walked side-by-side and Malik sulked a bit. "Well," he said finally, "that's not until later… We have to find our yamis first."

"But we have no idea where they're at," Yugi said morosely, "they could be anywhere and so could we!"

"Bahh…"

An odd sound came from the vicinity and all three hikaris looked up at once, finding themselves amidst a flock of sheep. They fluffy, white animals were herding themselves up the hill and off the road. Ryou whipped his head around to see that they were crossing the cobblestone path and, a little ways away, he could hear a human voice.

He got very excited and started up the hill along with the sheep that didn't seem to pay him any mind. "Come on, you guys!" he said to them, "I hear someone up there! Surely the person who takes care of the sheep could tell us where we are, maybe even give us a ride to the next town."

Malik and Yugi smiled at each other and followed suit.

"Finally, some luck," Yugi said happily.

They followed the flock up the hill for a while and when they reached the top, the could see another valley in which the sheep were grazing peacefully.

"Well, where's the farmer?" Malik wondered aloud.

They surveyed the land carefully and then, Ryou called, "There he is! There… he… is…? What's… what's he doing?"

"I-I dunno," Yugi stuttered, his eyes wide.

Over by a wooden fence that separated the grazing pasture from the rest of the field and, beyond that, another forest, was a man in brown overalls, seeming to be pushing a sheep through the fence. However, instead of going through the fence, the sheep just kept moving back and forth and "bahh"ing quite a lot.

Malik covered his mouth with one hand. "Lord," he said, muffled.

"Um… Yugi, be a dear and go ask that man for directions to the nearest town, yes?" Ryou asked in a somewhat forced cheeriness as he scooted the smaller hikari to the front of the group.

Yugi shook his head mutely with a horrified look on his face.

"Yugi, don't be a chicken," Malik chided. "Listen, we'll come with you."

"Like hell!" Ryou exclaimed. He tapped Malik on the head and whispered harshly, "Are you insane?"

"Come on, come on," he said. "It's probably not what we think."

So with a bit more reinforcement (namely grabbing the tail of Ryou's shirt before he could run off in the opposite direction) Malik managed to get the boys down the hill and they waded through the flock of sheep until they were a few feet behind the man who was still doing whatever it was that he was doing.

Yugi was still in front of the group and he timidly cleared his throat. "Excuse me, sir—"

"Wuh! Woah!" The man jerked around, at the same time zipping up his pants. He had a crazed look in his eye and he was very sweaty from some unknown strenuous activity. He scared the living daylights out of the three teens and they all jumped back at least two feet. The sheep, finally free, ran back to join its herd.

"What the heck are you kids doin' round here?" he asked nervously.

Ryou was blushing furiously and he bowed over and over again to the farmer. "W-We're so sorry to intrude! We just wanted to know where the nearest town is!"

The farmer blinked. "Well… uh…" He seemed to need a moment to collect his thoughts.

While both Yugi and Ryou were regretting ever coming over here, Malik, who was a vegan and an animal rights activist, was not so bashful and he leered at the man over Yugi's wild spikes.

"So just what were you doing to that poor sheep, huh?" Malik asked.

Ryou gaped soundlessly.

"Urr, uh, nothin'!" he replied, reaching under his hat to scratch his messy brown hair, "Just that sometimes—the sheep are so stubborn, y'know—a sheep needs a little help gettin' through the fence."

"We're five feet away from the fence!"

"Um… really?"

"Yeah, really!"

"Stop!" Yugi screeched, his hands on his ears. "Stop, no more! Please, sir," Yugi looked up to the man, "just tell us where we are so we can be on our way!"

He blinked. "Well, you're in New Zealand, boy. Southern Island."

Yugi calmed down and sighed tiredly. "New Zealand… great. Thanks."

"Welcome. Now, uh, next time you all plan on stoppin' by, just, uh… give a holler first, alright?"

Malik glared. "Oh, don't worry, we won't be back here again. Pervert!" and with that, the three departed, jumping over the fence and continuing in a downward slop until they hit the cobblestone road again on the other side.

When they were far enough away, Ryou looked to his friend. "Malik, are you all right?"

"I'm fine… it's just people like that make my blood boil! They're the reason animals are afraid to go out at night!"

Yugi glanced at him.

"Poor sheep," he crooned. "We should have saved them!"

"And done what with them? We need saving ourselves, Malik," Ryou reminded.

"How can you say that, Ryou? We're not the ones being taken against our will by a scruffy old farmer!"

"Thank God."

Somewhere in the density of one of Nez Zealand's forests, the chibis had found themselves a decent pace to travel at what with Bakura's problem solved by a twig. They kept going for a while undisturbed until a low, rumbling sound came from Yami's stomach. Both Marik and Bakura looked back at him and he blushed, crossing his arms shyly over his belly.

"I… I guess I'm hungwy…"

Bakura blinked at him. "Know wat? So am I. Mawik, wets find sometin' ta cook an' eat."

Yami frowned. "No meat! Even if I wanted it, we're too smaw ta kill sometin', it'd eat us fiwst. Pwease, cant we jus get some mushwooms er sometin'?"

"Mushwooms!" Marik exclaimed. "Der you go again, twyin' ta kill us!"

"But—"

"Nah," Bakura said, looking at Yami decisively. "He ain't twyin' ta kill us, he's twyin' ta get us all loopy so he can wun off and find our hikawis by himsef."

"Dat's nuts!"

"It is nuts. You shwould be ashamed."

"Stwop dat! I'm not twyin' ta do anythin' like dat so just—"

And before that sentence could be finished, all three chibis were silenced by a rustling in the underbrush just beyond them. Green bushes at the foot of a tall tree shook and shivered and, in the three to four seconds that took place, the three chibis were cowering in fear behind one another.

Suddenly, from out of the bush, came a pork chop sandwich. It plopped down on the dirt in front of them.

Yami blinked. "Wat… is dat?"

"It's a sammich!" Bakura cried out in happiness. "Our pwobwem is soved!"

"Y-Ya gotta be kiddin' me!" Yami yelled and grabbed Bakura's legs as he jumped for the food. "Stwop! Dis jus weeks uh twouble!"

"Aw, come on!" Bakura glared back at him. "Wat could be wong wid fwee food?"

Marik tapped his chin, considering. He walked around his two companions and looked at the sandwich closely. "Why…" he said softly, "would a sammich come out of a bush…? Someone had ta have t'rown it!"

"Finawy!" Yami sighed. "Some common sense!"

Marik nodded at Yami. "Kinda rare wound here, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

"Hey," Bakura objected.

"Now," Marik said, ignoring Bakura's pouts. "Wat shwould we do 'bout dis here sammich? Seems a shame ta wet good food go ta waste."

"Uh huh!" Bakura insisted.

"No. Wets jus' weave it. Weally, I gots a bad feelin' 'bout it! We can eben hunt an animal but, pwease, dis sammich is bad news, guys!"

Marik looked from him to Bakura. His hand was hovering right over the food in question and, in a second, he made his decision.

TBC…

Her Sweetness: Yes, it's a bit shorter. What'd you expect, twenty pages? Teehee! Review, please!