King Rat: Deep Water
Disclaimer: The characters of Saiyuki are still not mine. Otherwise, I'd have a lot more stories.
8C: Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown
When morning came, Gojyo and Sanzo woke up as paradoxically as they had fallen asleep: Sanzo as the big spoon, Gojyo as the little spoon. Gojyo woke first, disturbed by the motion inside him as the baby woke to the dawning sun. He looked behind him, over his shoulder, and realized the situation he'd woken up in. He tried to pull away from Sanzo, who still had his arm draped over him and clasped around his breast. Sanzo was scarcely asleep, his breathing shallow, and his eyes opened. He removed his hands, and released him.
Gojyo carefully sat up, and his head dropped. Sanzo reached for him, but he brushed his hand aside. "M'just nauseous. Don't..." Sanzo pulled his hand away, and Gojyo turned his body off the bed and rose to his feet. "I'm going back to my bed before Hakkai catches me here."
"Your room key is in my sleeve." Sanzo grasped the sheet in his hands, staring down into his lap. Gojyo pulled the discarded dress from the chair and held it over his chest. He dipped his hand into the sleeve of Sanzo's robe. He could feel the contract against his hand, but grasped his key and pulled it out. The paper slid against his skin, and a thin red line formed where it cut into him- just enough to feel it, just enough to leave a mark.
He turned back to Sanzo as he reached the door, breathless already. Sanzo hadn't moved, staring down at the bed sheet. Gojyo bowed at the waist as best as he could, and left. Sanzo said nothing.
Gojyo crept across the hall and over Goku, who still slept against the wall. He carefully slipped back into the room, past Hakkai who was sleeping soundly, and settled on the empty bed. He threw the dress over the chair, then got onto his bed. He punched the pillow a few times, rustled the sheets, then flopped onto his side. He set one hand on his middle and closed his eyes, feeling the tiny heart beating inside of him. He could still imagine the warmth of Sanzo's hand under his.
I got what I wanted. It was nice. Never again.
Hakkai woke twenty minutes later, promptly bound from his bed and stretched, then pivoted on his heel. Gojyo was still flat on his side, eyes shut tight. "You almost look comfy." He smiled, and Gojyo opened one eye. He sat down on the edge of the bed. "And how did you sleep?"
"I slept." Gojyo sat up slightly and propped one elbow under him to keep himself up.
"Unusual for you, nowadays." Hakkai tapped his cheek with an inquisitive smile, leveling his eyes at him.
Gojyo shrugged, glancing at the grooves his feet had left in the carpet not twenty minutes prior. "Got pretty tired walking."
"That's good! You do need your sleep." Hakkai beamed, and offered a hand. "Need a hand to your feet?"
"Nah, let me go at my own pace." Gojyo grunted and turned his body aside. "I guess I gotta eat in here again?"
"Unless you'd rather eat out in the open, then yes." Hakkai's smile dissolved at the edges. "Would you like to put the dress back on and-"
"No." Gojyo shoved the sheet away and hoisted himself to his feet. He groaned as his weight settled in his feet. "I'm just gonna stretch first. You, uh, you don't mind getting it, right?" He rose his brow to Hakkai, who nodded.
"Requests? Pickles? Kimchi?"
"Uh..." Gojyo's face blanked, and he slouched over, one hand cradled under his middle. "I don't want those things. I'm really not so hungry."
Hakkai tilted his head and edged a step closer to Gojyo. "I know the baby's pressing down on your stomach, but you still need to try." He set his hand beside Gojyo's, but Gojyo flinched back. "I'm... I'm sorry." Hakkai withdrew, and Gojyo relaxed from his cringe. "I thought you were used to it. May I touch?"
"Please don't." Gojyo turned his body away, and Hakkai's hands fell flat to his sides.
"Let me go wake the others." Hakkai turned around, lowering his head as his mood fell through the floor. Gojyo held his hands against the front of his belly, closing his eyes; he tried to wipe away the sensation of Hakkai's touch and revive his memory of Sanzo's hands beside his. Hakkai couldn't fathom it, but he didn't want to push the subject any further.
Goku was still asleep against the wall, mouth open wide enough to catch flies and shirt riding up his ribcage, and Hakkai crouched beside him. He gave his shoulder a light push. "Goku, this is not your bed."
"Eh?" Goku opened his eyes, squinting at him. He looked around. "Oh, that's right- I'm on guard duty. Are you back so I can go to bed?"
"You-" Hakkai lifted a finger to wag, then dropped it. "Yes. Yes, I'm back. You do realize it's morning, right?"
"Oh, it is!" Goku jumped to his feet. "You were out a while, huh?" Hakkai chuckled, and put his hand over his eyes.
"Why don't you go bathe and get changed into your clean clothes?"
"Sure thing!" Goku jumped up and scampered down the hall to the showers at the end of the hall, stripping as he ran and leaving his clothes in heaps behind him. Hakkai smiled blithely at his backside as it turned the corner, then went across the hall. He knocked once, and heard an immediate response:
"It's unlocked. Come in."
Hakkai pushed the door open, to see Sanzo sitting up in bed, staring out the window and smoking a cigarette- his usual morning routine, though he looked more pensive than usual. He closed the door behind him. "Is something on your mind?"
"This." Sanzo reached for the bedside table and held up a small, folded-over piece of paper. Hakkai crossed the room and settled on the edge of the bed. "I convinced him to confess to me when he slept with his one admitted partner."
"You did what?!" Hakkai's jaw fell, as Sanzo lowered his head. "You- you badgered him into-"
"No, he admitted it quite readily." Sanzo glanced up, eyes dark. "He was at a point of emotional weakness, so no, it was not fair for me to needle him, but he didn't resist."
"Why wouldn't he tell me, then?" Hakkai slowly turned his head away; he didn't seem to be asking Sanzo.
"I'm not sure." Sanzo held the paper out between his fingers. "I wrote down his answer. Do you want to know or-" Before he could ask if Hakkai would be uncomfortable taking it from him, the paper was out of his hand and open in Hakkai's palm. Hakkai recognized Sanzo's handwriting immediately- easy to read and clear. The ink smeared under his thumb, but Hakkai didn't seem to notice that it was still wet.
"February..." Hakkai swiped the pen from the bedside table and scribbled a few things down. "November the second to the eleventh." He double-checked his work. "That's the best estimate I can make with this range. So, we're twenty-nine days away from week forty." He smiled, clearly relieved. "My estimate was only a week off- thank goodness. And this puts us just eight days from the thirty-seven week mark."
"Why is that significant?" Sanzo frowned, as he extinguished his Marlboro on the wall.
"The baby will have reached respiratory maturity, meaning it will be safe for Gojyo to go into labor." Hakkai clenched his fists to his chest, nigh giddy with excitement. Sanzo cocked a brow, and Hakkai looked him straight on to clarify: "That means his or her lungs will be big enough."
"Ah." Sanzo glanced at the crumpled cigarette in his hand. Hakkai took a soft breath, and Sanzo could hear the exasperation building in his voice.
"Yaone was worried he'd be delivering the baby three weeks ago. The baby would not have been able to adequately breathe on his or her own, and while there may be technology on the Western continent that would remedy that, we won't find it here. Certainly not out in the boondocks." Hakkai shifted his weight further back on the bed. "It would end very, very poorly."
"I understood two explanations ago." Sanzo took out a cigarette. "There's something else I need to tell you. We need to move. As a party. We were followed last night."
"Oh no." Hakkai covered his mouth with his palm, rising from his spot on the bed as his entire posture deflated.
"They made no move to attack us, but-" Sanzo couldn't even finish his sentence before Hakkai began to pace.
"Did he notice? We can't let him know." Hakkai's fingers twitched, and he lifted one hand to his mouth to chew a finger. "He's stressed enough already. You should see him this morning, he's in terrible form, he won't even let me touch him!"
Sanzo spoke, louder and firmer this time: "They did not approach us, he did not notice them. They observed from a distance, as best as I could tell. I'm still suggesting we move." He got to his feet, and crushed the still-burning cigarette in his hand. "I would not have let him come to harm." Hakkai watched the smoldering tobacco crumble out of his fist, eyes wide.
"S-Sanzo, I never suggested-" Hakkai swallowed. "Let me see your hand." Sanzo opened his palm. There was no sign of a burn, only a singe on the callus where he usually fingered his gun. "Do you do that often?" Sanzo grunted in response. "It looks okay." Sanzo dropped his hand back to his side, and Hakkai took a calming breath. "I think we're both okay now. I'll plot a course for our next move, and we'll depart after we've all eaten." Hakkai turned heel and departed. Goku was returning from the shower, wrapped in a towel and picking up the clothes he'd dropped on his way down. Hakkai forced a big smile, and whistled to himself to try and lower his anxiety. Sanzo had given him far too many ups and downs, and his heart was still racing.
It was a bad day when he was the most normal one of the party.
Hakkai returned with a plate of toast and marmalade for Gojyo and a bowl of porridge for himself, right as he finished his exercise routine. He hadn't seen much of what he was doing, but Gojyo had become surprisingly adept at them despite his size. He'd dressed while Hakkai was gone- 'He must have been cold,' Hakkai imagined. He finished by dropping back down to the bed, groaning at the impact. His hands flew to his midsection, and he rolled the bottom of his tunic down from where it had ridden up. Hakkai chuckled and pulled the small dresser closer to him.
"Good job. Eat up."
Gojyo tried to eat, but it simply was not going to happen. Every time he lifted the toast to his lips, his tongue dried from nausea and the sensation of being too full already. Hakkai's heart ached- he felt terrible just watching him. The black linen tunic he wore barely covered him anymore, stretched past its limits by his oversized belly. Hakkai could visualize the baby sitting on his stomach, burying its head into him and blocking any attempt for him to nourish himself. He set his porridge aside and reached to touch Gojyo's wrist, and Gojyo put the toast down to wait for relief. However, as Hakkai sent his chi forth to relieve Gojyo's ills, he felt the same sensation as he had before: his own chi washing back to him. He closed his eyes in a slow wince, then dug into his sash.
"Here. You should take your vitamins."
"I can't even eat this." Gojyo shoved his toast away. "And this at least smells good. That medicine smells like chalk."
"Ah?" Hakkai frowned as he opened the bottle, and lifted it to his nose. "Your sense of smell must be more sensitive than mine now." He poured two pills into his hand. "You still need it. You have to nurture the baby somehow."
"I want to eat. I can't." He put his head in his hands. "Your chi ain't working."
"I've hit the upper limit," Hakkai confessed under his breath, bowing his head. "I can't put any more into you- your body is rejecting it."
"God damn it." Gojyo's hands crumpled, and he dropped his head lower. He chewed his lip as his brow knit up, with a despondent look overtaking any anger and frustration he'd had at his toast. Hakkai nervously held the pills out, and Gojyo swiped them and downed them. He managed to take a sip of water, and his breath seized in his throat as he tried to swallow. He did force it down, then managed to take a bite of his toast.
That was all the breakfast he could manage.
Sanzo and Goku had waited in front of the inn as Hakkai sneaked Gojyo out down the fire escape so he wouldn't be seen by the small crowd eating breakfast in the inn's tavern. This was pretty slow going, as he couldn't see the stairs under his feet, but he insisted he could handle it and shooed Hakkai off. Hakkai managed to organize payment for the nights they stayed there while Gojyo felt his way down the banister, touching each step with the sole of his shoe before stepping down. Goku, however, got impatient. He circled around to the side of the building, where Gojyo was still coming down the fourth and last flight, and he offered a hand. Or, at least, what he thought was a hand.
"Come on, dude, you're so slow!" He clambered up the iron bars that held the fire escape up. Gojyo scoffed, shifting the hand he'd planted on the small of his back for balance to a fist at his side.
"Listen up, idiot monkey- I'm walkin' for two here!" He slapped his front. "So, if I gotta go at half-speed, it's cause someone is slowin' me down, got it?!"
"Your fat ass isn't a someone." Goku stuck his tongue out, skidding along the bars to follow him.
"You're always 'little cousin this, little cousin that,' and now you're bein' an asshole about what your little cousin did to me?" Gojyo's upper lip nearly folded over, nostrils flaring as he caught his breath. Goku blew a raspberry at him.
"Yeah, well, say it to my face!" Goku jumped off the side of the fire escape and bolted for the corner, then cupped his hands and shouted back: "Unless your fat ass can't hit for one!"
"I will fucking end you!" Gojyo dropped his balanced stance and thundered down the rest of the stairs, resulting in a series of loud clanks with each heavy footfall, and he rushed to chase Goku as he whooped and hollered back around the corner:
"Come an' get me, tubby!"
"Motherfuck-" Gojyo reached the corner, and saw Sanzo and Hakkai waiting for him. The effort caught up with him, and he sank, setting his hands on his knees and catching his breath. A cramp set in at the top of his belly and slowly rolled down, and he groaned and hugged his stomach. Hakkai went to his side, giving Goku a dirty look.
"That was foul play." Hakkai patted Gojyo's back as he shuddered through the pain, and Sanzo followed up by hitting him with his harisen.
"Oww!" Goku covered his head to protect from any follow-up blows.
"That didn't hurt," Sanzo hissed at him, then glanced at Gojyo as he slowly rolled himself to a full stand, still holding his middle between his palms with teeth clenched. "Not enough." Gojyo finally unlocked his jaw and held his head upright.
"I'm good." Gojyo set his hands on his back to stretch. "Are we good to go?"
"I believe so." Hakkai glanced around, then whistled. Hakuryu appeared from the rooftop and fluttered down to the ground, carrying a cat bed in his teeth. He dropped it onto Hakkai, then landed on his shoulder. He looked down at the bags around them, then at Gojyo. He scrutinized Gojyo, looked him up and down, then turned to Hakkai and chirped and chattered something only Hakkai understood. Gojyo, however, could fill in the blanks:
"Yes, he is still pregnant," Hakkai answered, and scratched Hakuryu's chin. He chirped and shrieked in response. "No, no, he is not going to explode." Hakuryu whined, and rubbed his cheek to Hakkai's. Hakkai sighed patiently. "No, I do not think the uneven weight will cause your tire to go flat!" Hakuryu purred urgently into Gojyo's ear, and Hakkai put his foot down. "No, you will not get worse gas mileage which will cause you to run out of petrol in the middle of the desert, thus stranding us all. You don't even use petrol." He grabbed Hakuryu by the back of his neck and turned him to face him, eye to eye. "You're going to hurt his feelings."
"I'm going to use him for a belt if he doesn't turn into the Jeep right now," Gojyo glowered at the little white dragon, a malicious scowl painting him all shades of ugly. Hakuryu whipped around to give him puppy eyes, but Hakkai smiled sweetly.
"No, I will not stop him." Hakkai affirmed, all sugar and spice. Hakuryu's head dropped, but chirruped at Hakkai's sash. Hakkai offered a biscuit from his sash, and he gobbled it down. Satisfied, he transformed into the familiar green Jeep, though still whining about the extra weight in his back seat. As Gojyo sized up the door for the first time in a week, he didn't even want to hear about it.
Why can't Hakuryu turn into a minivan?
As Hakkai loaded the bags into the boot and Sanzo and Goku piled in, Gojyo approached the driver's side and tilted the front seat forward. He stepped up on the side of the car, causing it to lean towards him and creak under his weight (eliciting a loud series of complaints from the Jeep,) and he tried to squeeze himself in through the opening. His abdomen didn't fit through the narrow door either straight on or from the side, forcing him to hoist his middle up over the side of the car. He barely managed to wiggle his hips through to get the rest of him in. He slowly, cautiously turned his back towards the seat and lowered himself down in the tight space, then pressed his back against the seat and slid himself down. He winced a few times as his belly pressed into his knees, and a sharp pain made him writhe. His midsection wobbled towards the door, and Gojyo flinched back to avoid getting stuck. However, victory was achieved, and his butt was in the seat. He spread his legs to let the baby settle between them, and sighed with relief. Next, the new adventure- putting on the seat belt. Grabbing the clasp was easy. Passing it from one hand to the other was easy. Pulling the belt across the wide expanse at his hips: more challenging, but not impossible. Finding the buckle? The absolute definition of impossible. He couldn't see the buckle, and he couldn't find it with his hands. Goku, who'd watched up until now with a wide-eyed stare, giggled.
"Tol'ja you had a fat ass." Goku grabbed the clasp and shoved it flush to Gojyo's hip, almost under his rear, into the clasp. Gojyo blushed profusely, cheeks almost hurting from the blood rushing to them.
"Fuck you, monkey."
"Too many cucumbers for the tub-o'-chub kappa!" Goku teased in a sing-song tone, and Gojyo folded his arms and sank in his seat. Hakkai sighed from the front seat and tried to ignore them as he got in and put the key in the ignition. Gojyo turned and gave Goku a withering look.
"Since when were you making fun of my weight?"
"Since your fat belly got bigger than your fat head was empty." Goku grinned- obviously, he was very proud of this insult, and Gojyo's cheeks flushed further to the same color as his hair.
"Goku." Sanzo's tone indicated an unvoiced warning, and Goku's grin turned into a softer smile.
"Come on, dude, we play like this all the time." He poked Gojyo's ribs. "Why isn't it okay to tease you now?"
Gojyo pushed his hand off. "'Cause I can read a book and get smarter. I can't eat less and lose the weight. Yet," he added before Goku could leap onto that. To his surprise, he didn't.
"Well, yeah, 'cause you don't eat so much anyway. It's okay!" Goku beamed. "I'll help eat little cousin's portion for him!"
"You know th-" Gojyo halted as Hakkai got up to speed, and his stomach lurched into his throat. He lunged towards Goku. "Urk-"
"Don't hurl on me!" Goku flinched back into the far corner of the seat, and Gojyo turned away to hide a small smirk.
Using my nausea to my advantage. Smart move. Point goes to the awesome me.
They drove the entire day, downhill and on smooth, almost sandy dirt. The ride was smooth enough that Gojyo only cringed slightly on the acceleration and on a few small bumps. Sanzo spent most of the ride leaned over the side of the Jeep, hanging a hand out of the side and waving a hand with the air currents. The drive down the foothills was in cool air and through a forest of pine trees. A wide river passed through the forest, just past the bottom of the mountain and lateral to the incline. At high tide, it was deep enough that the Jeep would have been underwater, and Gojyo did feel nauseous as he watched it roll and churn past. Hakkai had to drive parallel to the river's flow to find a bridge, and he pulled over once they crossed.
"It's long past two," he explained as he parked near a tree. "We should have some lunch."
"Well, yeah, but if there's water, there's people," Goku pointed out. "You said so when you were teaching me history. Why not just drive the rest of the way to town and eat there?"
Hakkai pulled out the map and traced the distance between the river they sat at and the town he'd marked. "We're a little over an hour away from town, but we haven't eaten since this morning. It's not good to wait so long between meals. We might as well eat here." He gestured to the water with his usual smile. "It's quite pretty."
Gojyo's skin crawled as he took the unspoken meaning; he was going to have to wait in the car until after dark again. At least, he mused, it's getting dark earlier.
While Hakkai and Goku worked together to prepare a small lunch, Sanzo stepped away from the car for a few cigarettes, and Gojyo paced to stretch his legs. Hakkai, however, left Goku to stir the sauce and whispered in Gojyo's ear:
"Remember what I said about going swimming?"
"What?" Gojyo snapped to attention, and scowled at Hakkai. "Are you nuts? It's fucking October. It's gonna be cold as balls!"
"36 Celsius would be quite uncomfortable, wouldn't it?" Hakkai giggled. "It'll be colder than that, but why not kick your shoes off and put your feet in?" He glanced down to his feet, and Gojyo tried to do the same (and failed.) "Your ankles look very swollen. Water's a natural pain reliever, and the cool current will feel very nice. You've got time until lunch is ready."
"Fine." Gojyo kicked his slippers off. "Guess it won't kill me."
Gojyo hiked up his pants with his hands in his pockets and waded ankle-deep into the water. The water wasn't as cold as he had thought, though it still sent a chill up his leg. The riverbed was covered in egg-smooth, flat stones, and as he moved his feet over them, they massaged the soles of his feet. The bottom of his pants brushed the water, and he stepped back. "Huh." The chilly air was worse on the parts of his leg that had been submerged, so he rolled his pants up to his knees and waded back in. Hakkai had been right; the water did feel good, especially as he adjusted to the temperature. He almost wanted to take his clothes off and plunge headlong into the stream; however, that would involve admitting Hakkai was right. It also would involve putting his more sensitive zones into the chilly water, and as extra-sensitive as they were, he didn't relish the idea of having to defrost his nipples.
He realized, as it happened, that he was losing his choice in the matter. His knees suddenly buckled under him, and he collapsed forward. Before he could even process that his pants were wet and the base of his belly was in the water, Hakkai had swept in behind him and scooped him back to his feet. "My my, little bit of vertigo there?"
"Guess so." He tried to wring himself out, and found steady enough legs to shuffle back to shore. Sanzo quickly found and lit a fresh cigarette, leaving the previous one still-smoking in the dust at his feet. Hakkai's hand landed on Gojyo's wrist for a second, then jerked away.
"Hmm." Hakkai popped the Jeep's trunk and tossed Gojyo some clean clothes, and Gojyo sunk onto the bench to change. Gojyo would have asked what he was hemming over, but his head still felt heavy. He instead pulled his soggy pants and damp shirt away, tugged the clean ones on, and fell back. He closed his eyes, still prone on the bench, until Hakkai roused him with a plate of food.
Gojyo choked down a few mouthfuls of meat and a single gulp of rice, but his stomach rebelled every step of the way. He couldn't force it into him if he tried, but instead lowered his head and tried to ignore the sounds of his companions enjoying their meal. His head still ached, his legs shook even when he extended them, and despite both of these, he wanted to get back in the water. It had felt far too good, and for some reason, his instincts called him to it.
Somehow, listening to it seemed a bad idea at the moment.
It was only an hour drive from the riverside to the town, but Hakkai sat with Gojyo in the Jeep until the sun went down. Sanzo and Goku went ahead to the town's only inn to reserve two rooms. "If at all possible, adjacent," he requested of the innkeeper. She smiled, wrinkles picking up the edges of her eyes, and handed them two keys.
"You're our only guests at the moment, so I'm sure we can accommodate." She reached forward and fluffed Goku's hair. He grinned and bowed his head. "I'm surprised the Sanzo party would stop at a little backwater town like this! There are much bigger merchant towns just a short distance away, and all."
"It's on our way." Sanzo glanced to the floor. "Besides that, one of our party members is ill. We will be letting him recuperate here."
"My, surely not this one?" She tilted Goku's chin back up and looked in his eyes. Her hand was bony with age, but her palm was soft.
"No'm." Goku shook his head, cheeks warm with a blush. "Our big dumb friend in the car."
"I see! There are four of you, aren't there?" She chuckled under her breath, and took a cookie out from her desk. "Here you are, dearie." She turned her eyes to Sanzo as Goku eagerly chowed down. "Such a young boy, on an important journey like this."
"He's as mature as he wants to be." Sanzo resisted the urge to elbow Goku in the ribs as he seemed to shrink in place and let his eyes grow childlike and wide. He settled for pinching the back of his neck. "Goku, thank the nice lady."
"Thanks, ma'am!" Goku grinned, and hoisted up his duffel bag as Sanzo turned on his heel, dragging Goku by his neck, to go find their rooms. His fingers itched at the cigarette pack in the front of his robe, but he held off. Goku finally got loose of his grip and popped his head in front of Sanzo. "Hey, uh, did you see Gojyo fall earlier?"
"I did."
"What's wrong with him?"
"How should I know?" Sanzo clenched his fist, then dug out a cigarette. "I'm not psychic. Ask Hakkai."
"Kay, fine." Goku pouted, lower lip sticking out and brow sunk deep against his eyes. Sanzo ignored him as he lit up. "You were watchin' him, is all. Thought you might'a seen somethin'."
"Someone had to be sure he didn't drown." Sanzo exhaled in a quick burst, and continued wearing down the Marlboro's thin barrel.
When evening fell, Hakkai elected to drive the rest of the way into the little town. It was little more than four cross-streets with windmills in all four directions, surrounded by fields on its southern and western edges. No tall buildings, only a few with two stories, and dirt road that trailed from the forest. There weren't even street lights. It was the kind of town Hakkai liked- small, cozy, out of the way. Much fewer roving eyes. Not that he minded cities, of course, but with nobody out on the street when the sun was low, Gojyo, in the gunshot seat, seemed more comfortable tilting his head back against the seat rather than hunching it down low. However, Hakkai noticed him gripping the seat belt tight in both hands and shaking like he was being throttled. He chose not to say anything, at least not to Gojyo directly.
Hakkai first checked that the reception desk was empty before escorting Gojyo in. He could hear voices from the kitchen behind the front desk, and could smell dishwater. He hoisted the bags up and in, then helped Gojyo from the seat. His legs still quavered, and Hakkai supported him by his shoulders all the way from the alley where the Jeep was parked to the door, then to the stairs. Goku had appeared at the top of the steps, and bounced on his heels as Hakkai helped Gojyo in towards the steps.
"Ah, thank goodness." He smiled up towards him. "Would you please get the bags? I can't carry both."
"You ain't carryin' me, dude." Gojyo glared over his shoulder as Goku bounded down the steps, but Hakkai continued to smile.
"Nevertheless."
"I got 'em!" Goku lifted the bags over his shoulder, and jogged backwards up the stairs. "Come on, you guys are so slow, dinner's getting cold!"
Gojyo's legs still shook as he tried to scale the stairs, but with Hakkai's hands under his arms, he forced himself there. Dinner waited on the table in Sanzo and Goku's room, and though the hot pot stew smelled amazing, with floating chunks of carrot and parsnip and pulled pork, Gojyo couldn't get down more than three bites before his stomach turned and he had to put his head in his hands to block out the smell.
Once finished eating, Hakkai assisted Gojyo to his feet and to their bedroom. He first put Gojyo into one of the chairs, and then started going around to "pre-baby-proof" everything. Gojyo watched helplessly, wanting to get up and start moving things off of waist-level surfaces and anything that would be out of sight below the hips, but when he tried to push back out of the chair, his knees shook and refused to bend.
"Just stay put, okay?" He glanced up with an armful of items he'd pulled off the bedside tables; the clock, a lamp, some glasses. Gojyo winced and settled back again, setting one hand on his side.
"You really think I'm an invalid?"
"Gojyo." Hakkai set the items down on a higher surface and turned back towards him. The smile gradually wiped from his face as he spoke. "I do not think you invalid or incapable of these things." He slowly stepped back towards Gojyo, and got on his knees in front of the chair. "You're in an incredibly delicate condition. Even you must know that you're pushing your limits." He set his hands on Gojyo's knees. "Your blood pressure has skyrocketed."
"What?" Gojyo sat forward. "How do you-"
"I checked when I picked you up out of the water earlier. You may be verging on pre-eclampsia."
Gojyo vaguely remembered that word from some of the baby books. He did not, however, remember what "post-eclampsia" was. "Uh- so- what's that me-"
"If it continues, you could have a seizure." Gojyo's entire form froze, even his softened features hard with anxiety. Hakkai shifted in closer. "I'm not a doctor, so I can't diagnose, but the symptoms fit. In addition to that, you haven't eaten. You're getting weaker all the time." Hakkai set his hands a little further up Gojyo's sides, then set his cheek beside his navel. "I know, I know, I know, it sickens and angers you for me to tell you this, but you need to rest. You need to stay at rest."
"I need to... what?" Gojyo's head spun, but for different reasons than before.
"There is nothing I can do for you but wait for you to be ready to deliver." He rubbed his cheek against Gojyo, his monocle shifting and weariness etching under his eyes, mercifully out of Gojyo's view. "I can try to lower your blood pressure, but that will only treat the symptom, not the syndrome. I can't make medicines that will make the baby mature faster. I can only keep you safe and sound until you deliver. I want you to stay in bed or off your feet as much as possible."
Gojyo said nothing, but his back hit the chair again, head hung low. Hakkai lifted his head and looked up at him. "Please tell me you understand."
"I got it," he muttered. "It's... it's for the kid's sake, and all." He could feel Hakkai's hands creeping towards his back, and he pressed his chin into Gojyo's skin and fell into a hug. Gojyo couldn't tell if his fingers met behind his back, and though muscle memory drove him to want to wrap an arm around Hakkai's head to return the embrace, he didn't. His head hung low, his arms laid limp by his sides, and he tried to stop breathing until Hakkai pulled away.
"I'm going to break the news to the others. We won't be moving again until we're up a party member." He got up to his feet, his fingers tracing the contours of Gojyo's midsection as he rose, and he left Gojyo there, curled into himself and contemplating the floor.
He shut the door behind him, and had to catch his breath. He leaned against the door, palms pressed into the woodgrain. Watching Gojyo in such abject misery made him feel weak, like the energy was being taken out of him by force. Even worse was that he could hear Gojyo laughing weakly to himself on the other side of the door, then mutter:
"See, kid, now you're my anchor. Stuck here until you're out of me, and then, who knows? It's all 'cause of you."
Hakkai pushed the door to Sanzo and Goku's room open, and beckoned them out. Goku followed first, and Sanzo got to his feet slowly, dragging each motion out. He led them to the end of the hall, away from their rooms, and finally sighed. "You heard our entire conversation, correct?"
"Every word." Sanzo rapped on the wall beside him with his knuckles. "These walls are as thin as the paint on them."
"So I've noticed." Hakkai took in a deep breath and sighed it out. "He's... he's painfully unhappy. Even worse, my qigong is at its limits- there's nothing more I can do for him. I cannot ease his current woes. He's very close to the end."
"Gojyo's gonna die?!" Goku stuffed his fingers into his mouth, jerking back from Hakkai.
"No. He's going to give birth," Sanzo hissed into his ear, yanking him back towards Hakkai. "Don't say stupid things." Goku moved his fingers to the side of his mouth, and looked down at the floor.
"B-but, won't that kill him? I mean, that's a lady thing, and Gojyo's no lady."
"If he wasn't supposed to do it, then Kannon would never have made him to be with child." Hakkai smiled softly to himself and reached to pat Goku's head. Goku jerked away again, glaring at Hakkai with wide, sad eyes.
"But little cousin is so big! Bigger than any baby ever! How is big little cousin going to get out of Gojyo?" Goku hung his head. "Gojyo's going to die."
"He will not," Sanzo hissed, and yanked Goku's ear. Goku yelped and cowered at Hakkai's side. Hakkai chuckled and patted his shoulders.
"Do you think I'd let something like that happen?" Hakkai forced a wider smile. "I've taken good care of him, haven't I? That's why we have to stay here a little while- to give him time to have the baby, then for his body to recover." Goku's expression cleared, brow unwrinkling, then his head shot up with inspiration.
"Wait, what if Kougaiji and his friends try an' mess with us again?" He raised a finger. "Or assassins, or even random crazy youkai?"
"He has a point." Sanzo looked to Hakkai, who nodded.
"We'll need to keep him under guard. He's less able to defend himself than ever." Hakkai rubbed both sides of his forehead with his index finger and thumb. "At least this is a sleepy little place, out of the way. We'll have privacy, and we'll need it."
Sanzo nodded. "If that's what he needs, then so be it."
"You're alright with this?" Hakkai cocked his head. "This is your mission, after all."
Sanzo lowered his brow into a soft scowl. "I need three bodyguards. If one of them is in need of some recovery time, then I have no choice. And you do know what is best for him in this situation."
"Thank you, Sanzo." Hakkai bowed his head, then wiped his brow dry. "Well, I suppose that's all-" Before Hakkai had even finished, Goku bounded back down the hall towards Gojyo and Hakkai's room, shouting:
"Hey, Gojyo! You don't have to move around to play card games, right?" Hakkai giggled as Goku pushed the door open and rushed in.
"You know, I think I'll join them." Hakkai then pivoted on his heel, but he realized Sanzo was following.
"Four's better than three." Sanzo cracked his knuckles. "I'll bring the table from our room." Hakkai chuckled.
"How nice of you to cooperate."
After four days in the inn, the old innkeepers, a husband and wife, began to wonder about the Sanzo party. They had heard many rumors- not many travelers came through, but they always stayed in one of their five rooms, and those traveling westbound almost always brought stories. Dead youkai here, wounded villagers there, disaster abound wherever they go. As such, they had been only a touch nervous when the four had arrived. However, there had been nothing but peace from the four of them, at least as far as could be expected from four young men. No youkai attacks, no destruction or disaster. It almost made them wonder if they weren't the genuine article. This was only furthered by their real concern- they only ever saw three of the four.
"Now dear," the wife chided when her husband griped to her over their kitchen counter for the fourth night in a row. She continued to pour sake into mugs. "They said he was ill. Their fourth may not want to be seen."
"Don't make it no less suspicious," he countered, and looked out into the tavern where the three they saw were sitting. Though the inn was quiet for overnight guests, more than a few of the farmers and mill workers would come in after dark for a drink or sometimes a meal. The three Sanzo party members spent more than a little time there as well- albeit usually two at a time. "Only three eat, but they take four bowls. One comes back almost untouched! Wastes food." He grumbled to himself, and looked back to her. "What do you think their game is?"
"Mah jongg, from the tiles I keep finding when I make up the one room." The wife chuckled, pottering back to the food side of the kitchen to check the rice steamer, though her husband still scoffed.
"And there's another thing- you haven't been in the second room for days. Who knows what they're keeping in there?"
"Tell you what." The wife turned to her stew pot and ladled out four dishes onto waiting rice. "Since the three of them are down here, you deliver the fourth his dinner." She put one dish on a tray with chopsticks and a spoon and pushed it towards him. "If there's no answer, then we can up-charge them for lying to us."
"Fine. Sounds reasonable." He took the tray, wincing as gripping it made his arthritis flare up, but heaved himself to a stand and out to the stairs. He plodded up each step, and trudged towards the room. He couldn't imagine what it looked like- let alone smelled like- in a room that was being occupied but not cleaned, but he couldn't just leave the tray. So, with a resigned sense of dread, he knocked.
"Hey, ah, Mister Number Four of the Sanzo party? My wife sent'cha dinner. Ain'cha hungry?" To his surprise, he heard an immediate, quiet response:
"Fffff- it's dinner time? Shit. Slept since fuckin' two-" Then, louder and clearly annoyed, "Hang on!" Loud, thumping footsteps approached, and the door cracked open. The innkeeper got a brief glimpse of a thin, hollow-cheeked face and red eyes fixed in a deep scowl- a face he didn't recognize. "You brought food?"
"I did." The innkeeper held the tray out, though he clearly couldn't fit it into the thin crack in the door, and Gojyo glanced behind him. No Hakkai.
"Those assholes left me alone. Goddamn shit-" He looked back to the man at the door. "I, uh, I'm not decent. Don't wait around for me, I'll just pick it up when I have pants on."
"Oh." The innkeeper took a step back, blinking back confusion, and Gojyo slammed the door shut. He set the tray down, too shocked to do much else, and meandered back down to his wife. She'd served the other three their meals and returned to the kitchen to fetch more sake.
"Did you see their fourth?" She didn't turn around, but smiled down at the cups before her.
"Some of him." He set his elbows on the counter. "Didn't want to come out, so I left it by the door for him."
"But you saw him."
"Definitely a different man. Looked pretty skinny." The old man grumbled under his breath. "Maybe if he ate something."
"He's sick, dear. Cut the poor boy some slack." She plated up a handful of sweet rice dumplings. "I'm going to treat their cute little teenager to a spot of dessert." She chuckled and tottered out to the dining room, not quite noticing Hakkai leaned against the wall beside the door. He followed her back towards their table, nodding his head as she turned around and passed him on her way back, and sat down beside Sanzo and Goku again.
"Perhaps one of us should go sit with Gojyo. I can just imagine him now." Hakkai giggled. "Crouched down, trying to get the tray in through the door without opening it more than he has to so he won't be seen. Who wants to go help him?"
"I'll do it!" Goku thrust his hand straight up, though with a mouthful of dumpling, it didn't quite sound like that. He bounced to his feet and up the stairs, leaving Sanzo and Hakkai alone.
"It's just a pity he has to go through that." Hakkai sighed to himself and swirled his sake in his cup. "I know he's not supposed to be up and about, but he shouldn't feel compelled to hide himself just because his condition is..." Hakkai took a sip, choosing his words carefully. "So apparent."
Sanzo scoffed, casting his eyes upwards, and he could imagine it now. Poor, oversized Gojyo, the same as he had been for the past four days: alone, usually in the room's armchair, with his legs straddled around his precious cargo, resting one hand atop his middle and staring down his navel. He only seemed bigger by the hour, more and more like a balloon ready to pop. He closed his fist around the mug as he thought about it for what felt like the thousandth time. He'd been going through it in his mind for the past four days- surely he lied or was mistaken about the dates, surely he's due three weeks in the past rather than the future. Even Goku knew it: "Little cousin is too big!" The anxiety was only building as he wondered over it. Gojyo deliberately hiding himself was just a clincher.
Could he have been wrong about it? Maybe it was just because of his normally skinny figure that he looked so large. Sanzo tried to think of all the expecting women he'd met before, but realized that though he'd come across a few, he'd never actually looked at any of them- sheer disinterest. He tried instead to think of babies, but the same applied. He at least had an excuse, as newborns were rarely seen in public, and he couldn't think of meeting more than one or two. He could only distinctly remember one recently, and it was in a mass grave after a youkai attack that they had arrived too late to stop. It- he? She?- had been ripped from its mother's arms and buried in them. He only remembered it because of how terribly saddened Hakkai had been, and all he remembered of its features was that it was very, very small. The books had suggested average birth weight at a little less than three and a half kilograms, and a length of about fifty centimeters long. Sanzo weighed that against what he saw in Gojyo, and though he knew there was more than a baby inside of him, he was certain that he was far, far too large.
He took a long drink out of his sake cup, leaving only a drop in the bottom. He couldn't quite meet Hakkai's eyes, but he seemed more interested in his drink himself. "Have you considered forcing him to deliver?"
"How?" Hakkai laughed softly, and shook his head. He drained his mug completely. "I can only think of one way to get the baby out a moment earlier than the goddess is ready for it to happen, and neither of us are prepared for it."
"Are you prepared for it at all?" Sanzo frowned, first at the table, then at Hakkai. "Do you know what you're doing?"
"In terms of helping him? Well, I helped a cat birth kittens once, and I worked on a dairy farm for a few years to earn my keep at the orphanage before I became a teacher." Hakkai's expression warmed at the memories. "He does seem to have mammalian sexual features, despite his youkai paternity, though I admit I haven't looked too closely. If he is able to give birth, like you said the goddess told you, it will be the same as any woman."
Sanzo outwardly winced. He knew enough about the birds and the bees to know what sort of hell that would be.
"But I have no supplies yet," Hakkai continued. Sanzo's brow tilted into an inquisitive frown. "I suppose I can use the hot plate to boil scissors and a needle in the room-"
"Needle."
"In case of tearing, you see-"
"I need another drink." Sanzo bolted to his feet and rushed for the kitchen, getting a very familiar uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. He knew it was coming, but if he thought about it any more, he would be joining Gojyo in losing his meals.
Upstairs, Goku watched Gojyo shuffle his stew around his plate, as he had been for ten minutes. He had helped Gojyo pick it up and bring it in, but he knew there was a moratorium on helping him eat it. "When's the last time you actually ate?" He stared at the meat, longing to take it off of his hands because he knew it would be wasted. Gojyo shrugged his shoulders.
"Been too long. You have no idea how much I wanna pour this down my throat." He finally threw his chopsticks down. "I don't care anymore. Eat it."
"No. You." Goku picked up the spoon and loaded it up. Gojyo folded his arms and turned his head away, but Goku waved the spoon near his lips. "Open wide, Jeep's going in the tunn-" He tried to put the spoon into Gojyo's tightly shut lips. "Come on, I'ma feed the baby!"
"Wait 'til its born and has teeth." Gojyo seized the spoon and pushed it and Goku back. Goku yanked the spoon from Gojyo and stuffed it into his own mouth, then pulled it out clean.
"Fine. But you're gonna starve." He licked his lips. Gojyo groaned and forced another bite of chicken and sauce. His body and mind were completely at odds- his mind wanted it, his body screamed no, and his throat convulsed against the chicken's entire trip down. It stayed, and he sat back, relieved.
"See? I ate. Now will ya do me a favor?" He closed his eyes and traced his sides. Goku grinned.
"Sure! What's up?"
"Can you bring me some sorta map of the area?" He tugged the bottom of his shirt down. "We've been here days and I hardly know where we are. I'd go out and see the town, but-"
"I can do it!" Goku grinned and saluted, then scooted from the room and to the desk below. He returned a minute later with a large pamphlet. "Here ya go." He unfolded it, and pointed. "Uh, I asked the nice lady, she says we're right here."
"Ah." Gojyo leaned forward and looked. He could see the river marked just east of them, and the mountains just to the southeast. "Cool. I'll look at it later, okay?" He put it down beside him. "I, uh, I'm kinda tired."
"But you slept all day!" Goku cocked his head, perplexed.
"What can I say? I'm tryin' to make a person, it's not easy." Gojyo forced a heavy sigh, though genuine enough for Goku.
"I guess. You wanna be alone again?"
"If you don't mind." Gojyo set his feet up on the ottoman, and Goku hung his head.
"Okay. I'll leave you alone. Just, uh, shout if you need one of us, okay?" He shuffled towards the door and out, closing it behind him. The moment he was gone, Gojyo sat upright and opened the map again.
He'd been thinking too. All the others had been worrying over his size, but he had more weighing on him than that. He flipped the map open to see in all directions around the town they were in. "Won't be long now, will it, kiddo? You're plenty big, right?" Something shifted, just enough for him to feel it. "This is where you're gonna be born." He glanced around the room. "Maybe right here. I guess. Who knows?" He hadn't thought about the how or where as much, and only barely the when. "I don't have much for you, but we're gonna need to travel light. I gotta carry you the whole way, right?" He set one hand under his middle and pushed it up. "Yeah, you're kinda heavy, I guess. I'll just make a little sling and strap you on right here on my chest, right next to my heart. Then I can carry stuff on my back, too." He wiggled further back in the chair and looked down at the map again. "River's east, then the mountain. We ain't goin' that way." He heard the floor in the hallway creak, felt the walls close in around him. "West is out. It's more dangerous that way. Daddy doesn't want you to get hurt." He measured the distance between the nearest towns north and south between his index finger and thumb. "North is closer." He squinted at the scale. "If I walk quick, we'll make it in two or three days. I'll just need enough milk so you don't get thirsty, and clean diapers for your butt, and we'll be just fine." He crossed the room and shoved the map into his duffel bag. "Let's just hope we don't move again. I'm just glad I don't have to worry about it anymore." He settled back into the chair, groaning as the weight set into his back. "Only a little longer. Just another few weeks. Daddy's got you covered. No worries for you, not a one." He smiled softly. "We're gonna be okay."
In the hall, the floorboards creaked again, and Sanzo silently cursed the aging construction. He shifted from the door and tiptoed away, trying to make his footsteps silent. Hearing Gojyo's plans laid yet another weight on him, and he was starting to struggle under the burden. He had to bear it out, though; it was nothing compared to the ones Gojyo bore.
Goku would ever and always argue that he was not stupid. He was certainly naïve, but he didn't know that word. Stupid, he could object to. But whether naïve or stupid, neither meant he did not listen and understand, even things left unspoken. He could read Sanzo better than Sanzo could himself, and Hakkai had let his mask slip enough for him to see the truth underneath. Best or worst of all, Gojyo dismissed him as just a kid, so he hardly bothered to hide it.
Goku had told Sanzo and Hakkai that he'd gotten Gojyo the map. Of course he had; he wasn't stupid. He hadn't expected Hakkai to hang his head and excuse it: "He must be disoriented from not knowing where we are. It's nothing." He also hadn't expected Sanzo to jump up, abandoning his sake to go check on Gojyo. He didn't know what to make of it, but he knew well enough that there was something going on he didn't know the depth of between Hakkai, Sanzo, and Gojyo. He did, however, want to know. So, he would listen.
For the next two days, he listened. He listened to Gojyo quietly debating with himself how quickly he could recover from the birth to flee, how he could make himself recover faster. He listened to Sanzo and Hakkai wondering how they would negotiate the birth. He felt like he was scratching the surface and seeing no deeper, but he couldn't do anything about it. Even the card games they played when they were all together stayed superficial, all casual smiles and vacant conversation. The only time things got even a little bit serious was at a single word from Gojyo:
"Ow!" Gojyo suddenly hissed and held his side, cringing forward and holding himself. Hakkai's cards fell to the table as he dove out of his seat as Gojyo dropped his cards, and his hand slid up onto the table and gripped it. Goku and Sanzo both sat back as Hakkai held his hand and tried to read his chi.
"It seems like just a minor cramp, or-" Hakkai leaned closer to Gojyo, lowering his voice. "Gojyo, are you f-"
"I'm fine. He just kicked me in a bad spot." He exhaled into a smile, and Goku noticed his hand slide up onto the table to switch one of Hakkai's dropped cards with his.
That was all Goku could wonder about- it seemed like everyone else had something on their minds, but nobody was talking about it. But this was grown-up business, so all he could do was try and get a nose in.
The same went for the night of October the tenth. Gojyo had been overly tired and rejected both food and company: "I'm not hungry. At all. Givin' me food would be a waste." He had hardly gotten out of bed that day, not even to the chair that seemed to have a permanent imprint of his back on the cushion by now, and he didn't seem to want to change that. Hakkai touched his forehead, then his wrist.
"You must want something. Water? Ice?"
"No. Nothing at all." Gojyo hung his head in a soft pout. "Can I just be left alone?"
And so, he was. It was late enough now that they were alone in the tavern. Hakkai and Sanzo were having drinks, and Goku was sitting nearby. The innkeeper's wife had given him a basket of apple pastries, which he was all too happy to devour. However, a full mouth did not mean full ears, so he could still hear Hakkai and Sanzo's conversation.
"According to the dates you gave me, we have passed thirty-seven weeks. The baby is technically full-term, its lungs should be fully formed." Hakkai kept his voice low, though he still sounded ever so cheerful and nonchalant, as if he were talking about the weather rather than an upcoming major life event. Goku imagined this was the easiest way for him to keep his cool at the moment, rather than riding the rollercoaster between excitement and anxiety.
"A miracle," Sanzo muttered, with the same mixture of derision and indifference he displayed with ninety-five percent of his life (on the surface, at least.) "Let's hope he didn't kill the thing with his smoking." Hakkai giggled as Sanzo chewed on the butt of his own cigarette. Goku knew this as one of Sanzo's 'tells,' a little indication that he was thinking one thing but saying another.
'This is Sanzo worried.' Goku could almost imagine making a coloring book, a sort of child's guide to understanding him, except most of the pictures would look very similar.
"Now, now, I've watched him very carefully. I don't think he's had one in some time." Hakkai chuckled, and lowered his head. Sanzo glanced away.
'This is Sanzo being deceitful.' Goku almost giggled at the thought, but swallowed it.
Hakkai put his empty cup down and waved to the innkeeper across the room, who got to his feet with a grumble and entered the kitchen. He turned back to Sanzo, who was still looking at the floor or walls. "I've been trying to keep an eye on him, but he's being very quiet. You know he hasn't had a decent meal for the last week, and he just seems so distant. Especially today." Sanzo seemed nonchalant as he took a deep inhale of smoke.
"Let him have his secrets. It seems that's all he's done lately."
"I'm sure he has his reasons." Hakkai held a hand out to stay Sanzo's response, as the innkeeper trotted over with two fresh mugs of sake. He offered a few small yuan bills as tip with a bright smile, which the innkeeper accepted with a nod, then left them alone again. "But he won't even let me touch him."
"He knows you can keep him healthy, and he pushes you away?" Sanzo gripped his mug tight and sucked down more of his cigarette. "That... idiot."
"That insult seemed almost forced, Sanzo." Hakkai's smile seemed to spread further across his cheeks. "You know, it's not unnatural to care about his welfare. We have all spent so much time together, caring for one another is nearly inevitable."
"Hmph." Sanzo refused to acknowledge that.
"At this juncture, though, we have to wonder what is going to happen with the baby. This child won't simply go away, and I don't think we should give him or her away or force Gojyo to do so." Hakkai sighed, and set his elbow on the table. "Despite it all, Gojyo cares for his child. Have you heard the way he talks to it?" He giggled softly, and Sanzo closed his eyes. "He wouldn't want him to be harmed on the road."
"There must be a monastery somewhere around here. They'd keep it safe." Sanzo's eyes reopened but fixed squarely on the table in front of him now.
"But it must be Gojyo's choice. He'd be miserable if we forced his hand." Hakkai's smile faded, his shoulders slumping. "He would never be happy if he had to spend every day wondering if his child was okay, growing up without him."
"What other option is there?" Sanzo's fist dropped to the table, eyes shut tight. "Letting him run away, like he's been plotting to do?"
'This is Sanzo angry and afraid.' Goku lowered his head, but licked a flake of pastry off his lower lip.
"I suppose not." Hakkai sighed peacefully, and emptied his cup again. Goku had run out of pastries, and they had run out of conversation. He got up and popped his head into the kitchen, where the old lady was washing the last of the night's dishes and offered the basket back.
"Thank you for the desserts, ma'am!" He shook the napkin into the wastebasket and put it on the counter. He spotted a basket of apples. "Oh boy, did you use these?" He scooted closer- they were so shiny he could see his reflection. She chuckled.
"I did, m'dear. They were grown in an orchard not too far from the town."
"They were so good!" He beamed, then had a moment's inspiration. "Hey, can I have one more? My friend's been sick and doesn't wanna eat, but these are so good, he'll definitely wanna eat it!"
"He's still no better?" She clicked her tongue a few times. "Well, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. You can have as many as you'd like." Goku grinned and picked a shiny one off the top of the pile.
"Thank you!" With that, he bounced upstairs to the rooms. He had listened long enough. He had questions now.
Gojyo was sitting on the floor when Goku got to the room, his back against the side of the bed, his legs stretched out in front of him. Goku wasn't sure when he'd gotten out of bed nor how long he had been there. He had one hand rested on his middle, and he'd fixed a blank, unblinking stare at something in the wall Goku couldn't see.
"Hey, uh, Gojyo?" Goku tapped on the door frame. "Can I come in?" Gojyo seemed to snap out of a trance. He tilted his head as he looked at Goku, and put a strangely warm expression on.
"Yeah. Sit down, right here by me." Gojyo patted the spot next to him, and Goku backed up cautiously. This welcome looked and sounded like 'Come a little closer so I can hit you without having to move.'
"Uh, I can talk from here." Goku edged back into the hallway, glancing over his shoulder.
"I won't get mad if you touch me. Swear on my mother's grave. Come on." Gojyo rubbed the floor, and Goku gave in and sat down beside Gojyo, stretching his legs out as well.
"I gotcha an apple. I know you're not hungry, but they're really good. Tart and sweet and crunchy." He held the apple out, and Gojyo took it and looked it over. "Are you feeling okay?" Whether stupid or naïve, he could tell that this was not the Gojyo he was used to.
"Nah, not really." Gojyo sniffed the apple. The monkey did know his fruit- it smelled pretty good.
"Uh, how'd you get on the floor, anyway?" Goku glanced at the bed, where the sheets had been pushed back.
"I thought I needed to piss. Legs didn't wanna work, so down I went." He thumped the floor with his palm. "Lucky me, I didn't have to piss anyway."
"You fell?!" Goku shivered. "Dude, we gotta tell 'Kai-"
"Nothing's broken. It can wait." Gojyo closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the mattress. "You got something to say?" Goku steeled himself, and put it as bluntly as possible:
"Gojyo, what are you gonna do when the baby gets here?"
Damn monkey with some beady little eyes. He's been spying on me! Gojyo laughed. "You ask me as if I know. I'll think about it when it happens." Goku frowned.
"So, why were you lookin' at maps and stuff?"
"Weighin' my options." No point in lying about it. "What do you think? I take the kid west with us and let him get killed? I throw him away, or leave him in a basket by a river? What do you think?" Goku twiddled his thumbs, and Gojyo could see the wheels turning. He took a bite of the apple as he waited for Goku to talk. It was good- it stung at first, but the cold juice was refreshing and light on his tongue. When did I stop wanting pickles or kimchi? Did I want apples all along? He could even swallow it without his stomach rebelling. He wanted the rest, but he wasn't hungry. Not even a little. Goku finally put his fist in his palm as he came up with an answer.
"I think you need to get the baby stuff. You know, like diapers and bottles and other things babies need." He looked up at Gojyo, who had turned his gaze away. "Dads want to do something for their kids before they get to the world, right? I mean, babies need stuff, don't they? Hakkai told me that babies need stuff."
"All my kid needs is me. It's all he'll ever need, all he'll ever get." Gojyo smiled weakly, not looking at Goku at all anymore. Damn. I'm in trouble now. His breathing had picked up in speed. "He won't ever have another dad, never gonna have a family, just me."
"You got me and Hakkai! I'll be there for little cousin." Goku smiled and shook Gojyo's shoulder. "No matter what you decide, I'm gonna help. Let's face it, you need help." He leaned back, anticipating a swat and a return insult, but Gojyo didn't respond to him, too wrapped up in the pain coursing from his breast down.
Fuck. Shit. Fuck. This ain't happening. Not now. Not yet!
He was breathing heavily now, cupping his hand on top of the massive swell of his abdomen. Goku stared, completely confused. "Hey, dude, you okay?" Goku prodded Gojyo's side, and Gojyo hissed in pain. Goku jumped back. "I barely touched you! That didn't hurt!"
"Ssss… aah!" Gojyo cried out, and his back slid down the bedside. His fingers dug into his skin, he stomped his foot on the floor. The apple rolled out of his hand. Goku dove forward and planted his palms on the top of the swell.
"Is little cousin okay?"
"Yeah, don't worry, he's fine. Look, thanks for coming up here, but I need a big favor." Gojyo opened his eyes, and Goku could see his pupils were pinpricks, and he was staring through the ceiling and biting his lip. Tears threatened to fall at the corners of his bloodshot eyes. "Tell Hakkai… Tell Hakkai little cousin wants out."
"Little cousin wants out?" Goku repeated, eyes wide as he stood up.
Oh god. Gojyo pressed three fingers into the crotch of his pants and lifted it to show Goku that they were covered with blood.
"He wants out, and he's not taking no for an answer." Gojyo laughed coldly, a tear of pain streaking his cheek, and Goku screamed and fled the room.
End Notes: Next time, the hourglass has run dry and everyone's out of time to think. What will our heroes do? Find out in two weeks!