A/N: This is just one long chapter and it's pretty heavy. Belive me, I didn't mean for this story to be this long or this dramatic, it just happened. Not sure, I should apologize, but here we go.

It was colder up north. Not cold, but the air was fresher, there was a steady breeze. Up here, Beca actually felt like it was going on fall and she was glad to have packed the light jacket into her overnight bag. She didn't plan on staying in Virginia overnight, she was booked on a late train to Pennsylvania to visit her mother.

All these thoughts, though, the nestling at her jacket, she was just biding her time as she looked up at the grand house that was the Beale mansion. When Chloe had indicated before that her parents had money, Beca never quite pictured it like this. She'd thought of a nice house, parents who had money to spare to send their three kids to college, living comfortably, but not in obvious riches. This, however, spelled riches to spare and Beca was understandably intimidated. Of course, she was also stalling at pushing the button next to the speaker box at the gate. It wasn't a big gate, somebody athletic - not Beca - could have jumped over it. It was just a threshold to keep the loiterers at bay, Beca imagined.

She took a deep breath now, half hoping that Chloe wasn't at home - at the moment. She'd talked to Aubrey on the phone and had basically threatened and begged Chloe's whereabouts out of her. But maybe, if she was out with friends or something... but, no, Beca had to talk to her. It was important. It was crucial that Chloe understood.

Another deep breath and Beca finally pushed the button. It took about 20 seconds before somebody answered and a static voice came out of the speaker box:

"This is Natalie Beale. To who am I speaking?"

"Ah, hi. I'm Beca... Beca Mitchell. I'm looking for..."

"Beca, oh my God. Come in," Chloe's mom said and a moment later the buzz coming from the gate told her that she could walk through.

So Mrs. Beale remembered her. They'd only met briefly at the graduation ceremony but the Beales had done quite a bit for the Bellas over the years. They contributed to the Copenhagen trip with quite a bit of money. They'd even pitched in for some of the equipment Beca had used to mix the music for the group.

Beca walked up the short path to the big house. The door opened when she hadn't quite reached it yet and a smiling face greeted her. Chloe's mother bore quite the resemblance to her only daughter, the blue eyes, the red hair. But where Chloe was tan, Natalie Beale was pale. She was also reed thin while still athletic.

"Beca, it's good to see you." She enfolded Beca in a short hug and pulled her into the house. "Chloe's upstairs, maybe you go up and surprise her. She'll be so thrilled to see one of her friends from Barden. To be honest, Chloe's been moping around quite a bit since she's been back."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Beca answered to the rush of words. "Which room is hers?"

"Of course, you've never been here. It's the second door to the left. Should I show you? I was just making some iced tea. Do you want some?"

"Thanks, not right now. I'll just go up then."

Natalie smiled encouragingly as Beca started climbing the gigantic staircase. As Beca looked back to her halfway up, she was just walking into one of the rooms to the right of the stairs, Beca assumed that the kitchen lay in that direction. She looked around at the wealth, the high ceiling with the candelabra, the antique table and cabinets in the hall, it was all intimidating and Beca wondered at the unpretentious family that lived here. The Beales were all very open and nice and giving. Beca had only met one of Chloe's brothers, the younger one, Sam, but she was sure Chloe's elder brother Thomas was just as friendly and open as the rest of the family.

Beca finally reached the landing and walked to the second door on the left. Only, she wasn't sure if it was the second. There was one just across the stairs and Beca wasn't sure if that was door number one or if Mrs. Beale had meant to count only the two doors at the left. When she knocked there was no answer and Beca opened the door. It was a bathroom.

"O-kay," Beca made but didn't get any further as the door to her left opened and Chloe poked her head out.

"Beca?"

"Hey, I was looking for you," Beca said, trying a smile.

"In the bathroom?"

"I must have misunderstood your mother. She said second to the left, I thought... hey."

Chloe looked at her but her customary smile was suspiciously absent. "Hey. It's good to see you." She came over to Beca and gave her the promised hug.

To Beca it felt awkward and way shorter than any hug they'd ever shared.

"Come in." Chloe went back into her room and Beca followed.

It was a nice room, cozy and colorful, very much Chloe Beale. She had one stuffed animal sitting on the bed, obviously a favorite as the kangaroo looked very loved. There was music coming from her computer and the posters on the wall showed mostly music artists - mostly from the 80s.

"It's a nice room."

"Thanks. I haven't redecorated, I'm not planning on staying here. Most of the stuff is from my school days."

Beca nodded and noticed a framed photo from their Graduation. It was the same photo that she had packed just that morning into the last box to go to Atlanta.

Chloe noticed her looking. "Well, obviously that's not from school."

It had a prominent place on her nightstand and Beca imagined Chloe looking at it before she went to sleep.

An awkward silence spread between them as Beca tried to avoid looking directly at Chloe and Chloe only looked at her.

"So," Chloe said.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here," Beca said.

"Well, I guess there were things unsaid when I left. Aubrey called to tell me that she told me where I was so I was kinda expecting you."

Beca nodded.

"Sit down," Chloe offered a cozy looking armchair to Beca as she said on a loveseat.

Another short but intense silence dwelt between them. Beca couldn't remember it ever having been like this between them, not even after the kiss they'd shared. They'd always known things to talk about but now that they had definitely something to talk about, she balked. And Beca knew it was mostly her. She'd never talked about what she was to tell Chloe and it was harder than she'd ever imagined.

"I need to tell you something," she said, taking the first step on that hard road.

"I thought you've come here to... have me talk. I mean why I left and all."

Beca shook her head. "I understand. I just... I don't want you to think that... it has to do with you... I mean, of course, it has to do with you but... Chloe..." Beca looked up at her and was struck dumb by the open vulnerability in Chloe's eyes. But also by the hopefulness, the trust. One could do real damage to Chloe Beale, because she would let them, because she trusted. Not that Beca had set out to hurt Chloe but she was convinced that some of what she was going to say would and she dreaded this more than anything else.

"You're my best friend, Chloe. You have been pretty much from the moment you barged into my shower." Beca had to smile at the memory but she waited in vain for Chloe to answer it. "That's not what you wanna hear... obviously."

"That's not it, Becs. You're my best friend too. I'm sorry if I seem... angry? Or sad? I guess, I am sad but it's not your fault. Please continue," Chloe told Beca. Now they were both reluctant to talk but talk they needed to do.

"You're my best friend and yet I sometimes feel like we don't know each other that well. Besides having seen each other naked. I mean, there're things we never talked about. I don't know where you stand politically, though I guess you're liberal. But... I'm doing this all wrong."

"I think we know each other pretty well. Strange, huh?"

Chloe gave her a small smile now but it seemed to hurt more than reassure. It made Beca realize just how much Chloe was already hurting and maybe this was all wrong. But what else could Beca do? Maybe she should just take Amy's advice... but the thought alone took Beca's breath away. Panic gripped her.

"I'm not saying we don't know each other but all the stuff was just so immediate, you know? What do you really know about... I mean, I only just met your mom for the second time. She wasn't even aware at first that I've never been here."

"How is that relevant how well you know my family, or my home?"

"I guess I was just referring to the people we were... before Barden. Where we come from."

Chloe looked at Beca for a long moment. She squinted her eyes a little as she asked: "Is this about my parents being rich?"

Beca took another deep breath, frustrated with herself. "No, I... I'm sorry, I'm not explaining this right. Do you know... what do you know about my family?"

"I know that you're from Pennsylvania. That your parents are divorced. Your dad works as an English professor at Barden and he's married. Your mom is married, too, I think. But I'm not sure what she does for a living or about her husband. Wife?"

Beca had to laugh at this. Just imagining her mom being married to another woman... but really, it wasn't that funny. "No, she's married to a man. Grant Winter."

"Beca Winter," Chloe said and flashed Beca a real smile, obviously trying to tease her with it. But Beca didn't feel amused by it and it must have shown on her face. "You don't get along with him?"

"That's not it exactly. I mean... I guess he's an okay guy. I never really took to him. I mean, they've been married just over five years and I hardly know the guy. Before I went to Barden, I spent a lot of time at the school radio, I worked evenings at the movie theater."

"You were an usher?"

Now, Beca smiled. "I was."

"Bet you looked really cute in that uniform," Chloe said and winked at her.

Beca blushed. "I don't know about that. I just... Grant and I... I..." But Beca didn't know how to say it. She knew that this was where she'd been going with the 'we hardly know each other' speech. Chloe didn't know about Grant, she didn't know about... the problem between her and Grant.

"What about him? He didn't..." Chloe hesitated. "He didn't do anything to you, did he?"

Beca shook her head. "It's not really about me, though it's the reason we don't really get along. Or maybe, it's the reason I'm not really accepting him as my step dad."

"What is it?"

Beca looked around the room. To her surprise, tears started welling up in her eyes. It was stupid to cry about this and she didn't want to. She'd never told anyone, she'd never planned to. After all, this wasn't even about her. "Grant has a son. Well, I guess if you were to ask him, he would deny he had a son but he still does. His name is Sebastian and he's gay."

"And?" Chloe didn't seem to see anything amiss with this picture. Beca had thought she just needed to go this far but obviously she had to explain further.

"Him being gay is the reason Grant doesn't talk about him. He cut him off when he came out."

"Do you know him?" Chloe asked.

"I met him once, briefly. He came to the house one afternoon when Grant and my mom were away. He was looking for something he left and he didn't know that Grant's new wife had a kid. We talked a little but he wanted to leave before his dad came back."

"Has your mom met him?"

Beca shook her head. "She knows about him but she told me that Grant doesn't like to talk about him. That's all."

"Does she know he's gay?" Chloe kept asking questions and Beca wasn't sure where she was going with it. Wasn't it time for Chloe to face the implications this revelation had for her - Beca?

"I think so. I can't imagine that she doesn't."

Chloe nodded. "You're afraid," she then said. The simple phrase shook lose one of those damn tears Beca had tried to hold back.

She looked into her lap at her folded hands. "I don't know what my mom would do if I... turned out the same way as Sebastian."

"And you never talked to her about it?"

"There was never really a reason to."

Chloe kept silent for a long moment until Beca looked up at her.

"Never really? Sounds like there was something," she then said probing.

Beca felt heat rush up her collar.

"Who was she?" Chloe said with an encouraging smile.

"It wasn't like that. We were just friends."

"Uh-huh."

"Don't look at me like that," Beca told Chloe. She was trying to be angry but couldn't resist the good-natured teasing from Chloe's bright blue eyes. It dragged a reluctant smile out of her.

"Who was she?" Chloe repeated her question.

"It wasn't anything. I just liked her and we hung out a lot."

"But you would have liked to do more," Chloe guessed.

Beca closed her eyes. She'd never even admitted this to herself how could she tell Chloe how it had felt to be friends with Tamara? How the mere touch of her hand had made Beca giddy? How she'd sometimes drowned in her dark chocolaty eyes? How they had laughed? It had all been innocent and yet there was a kernel of truth in what Chloe had said. A part of Beca had always wanted more with Tamara - until she had run headlong into a wall, because she wasn't able to articulate this more and hadn't been brave enough to explore her needs.

Beca put her face into her hands, rubbing away the remnants of tears.

"Hey," Chloe said, nudging Beca's arm.

Beca looked up.

"It's okay. We all had friends like that."

"No, I don't think so. I mean, you maybe. CR probably. But Amy? Jessica? Ashley? No."

"So what if they didn't? It's not illegal, and it's not a bad thing. Female friendships, female love... it's all good. We live in a free country, Beca."

"Yeah, a free country where parents send their kids to anti-gay camps for deprogramming," Beca said, a bitter edge in her voice.

"You don't think your mom would have done that, do you?"

Beca shrugged. "We've never talked about... gay people. I mean, I know she has a couple of gay clients but I don't know how she would react to a gay daughter. Or son. Or..." Beca lifted her hands. She wasn't sure what else to say.

"Does it still matter, though? I mean, you're an adult. You live your own life."

"Would you be okay if your parents didn't accept you for who you are?"

Chloe took a moment to answer. "Probably not."

Beca nodded.

"But they do accept me. I knew they would, because we talked about it. You've never given your mom the chance to accept you," Chloe argued.

It was a valid point, one Beca couldn't argue. She'd assumed that her mom knew about Sebastian. She'd assumed that her mother accepted Grant's treatment of him. And she just assumed that accepting Grant's decision meant that she would do the same in a similar situation. At the basis, of course, was her fear. She'd just lost her father - temporarily - when she'd found out about Sebastian. She couldn't have risked losing her mother, even if she'd admitted to herself that she may be gay. But, of course, Beca had never done that. It hadn't come up since Tamara.

Beca looked at Chloe and knew that the question was still there, though. It hadn't gone away, Beca had just ignored it for a couple of years. She was basically still ignoring it.

For a moment, Jesse had felt like her savior, her confirmed heterosexuality. She'd leaned back in it, comfortable if not completely happy. And then they'd let their relationship slide, and then Jesse had come out and she now saw how he had waited for her to do the same thing. But she hadn't been self-aware in that regard. She'd just always put this thing away. Until it had pushed her into Chloe's arms, into an unforgettable kiss. And Beca still had reservations to even think about it, because... she was too scared.