Chapter 14

After the eventful party that the Hogwarts crowd had in the muggle world, life for trio became pretty monotonous. Harry, Ron and Ginny were all packed and excited; Hermione stayed busy with work and did not visit Burrow or made an effort to contact either Harry or Ron, while Harry and Ron did make it a point to visit her every two days and somehow Harry always ended up riling up for some reason or the other at Hermione. But to his disappointment, she didn't really give the kind of response which would cause him to get even madder at her.

It was the evening before they were to leave for Hogwarts and Mrs. Weasley had asked her to join them for its going to be a long time when she will get to see them all again. Throughout the evening Hermione kept busy helping out Mrs. Weasley even though she asked her to go enjoy with friends. She stopped telling Hermione to join her friends after three tries as she could tell that Hermione was upset for not attending school that year and therefore wanted to keep busy so she could avoid everyone. For the first time Mrs. Weasley wished they were rich so she could pay for her Hogwarts tuition, she felt like crying but kept her emotions in control. Molly Weasley considered herself an expert on peoples' emotions for she had seven kids, all with different natures and different style of expressing themselves. Due to this very reason she was able to read Hermione and respected her wishes.

"So Hermione dear, since the kids will be away…this house will be really empty, do you think you can spare sometime to spend with dear old me? I know I am not Harry or Ron but still I was thinking…"

"Yes! I'd like that Mrs. Weasley ", Hermione replied with a smile, "and you are old Mrs. Weasley…honestly you have more energy than all your seven kids combined…"

Hermione immediately realized her mistake about mentioning seven kids and didn't know how to amend her mistake.

Mrs. Weasley sensed her discomfort and immediately changed the subject, "You are so kind Hermione, I do believe I ought to make them work harder…hmm I guess after their last term, I'll get them to do their own chores…Anyway I think we are done here now. I'll go change while I think it is time you join your friends…"

Hermione took the chance to leave immediately and headed out where everyone was playing Quidditch. The first thing she noticed was Harry sitting on the ground holding his leg and not up there playing with others,

"What are you doing down here, are you alright? " Hermione asked walking towards him…she finally sat down next to Harry and turned to him, expecting an answer.

"I got hit by a bludger so took a break; don't really feel up to it at the moment… I am all nervous about tomorrow!"

Hermione took out her wand and removed his hand from his leg, "where does it hurt?"

Harry rolled up his pants and showed her the bruise he had below his knee and slight swelling. Hermione uttered a charm and his swelling went down along with the pain. Throughout this Harry was staring at Hermione's face, he blushed when Hermione was rolling down his pants for him, "Feel better?" Harry was still staring at her, when Hermione asked for the second time, he finally replied…"oh yeah…much better! Where'd you learn this charm?"

"Just read few books on healing at the book store…so why are you nervous about school? You should be excited about going back; it will be trouble free year, well I am only counting Voldermort there, can't vouch on Slytherins becoming nice and all. And not to forget its N.E.W.T year, and oh your last year as quidditch captain…"

Harry laughed at her Slytherins line," Yeah I am not sure about Slytherins either…I am more concerned about how people will behave, you do know that we have not been involved with anything … I mean any changes or how people are adjusting after the war…We just started living our own lives, what if there are still some deatheaters free…roaming around and they attack Hogwarts or what if the rules by the old ministry are still intact or they re-invoke them and the next thing I know they are after my head and the muggle born accompanying me…there are a lot of what ifs, Hermione! It will be weird, a lot of students died or lost their families, I don't think it will be a normal year…"

Before Hermione could reply, Harry suggested that they should take a walk and Hermione agreed. Ginny noticed the two of them leaving and called out to Harry, "Hey Harry! Come back, I think your break's gone long enough, we need you here…"

Harry just pretended to limp a little, "Sorry I don't feel like it, I will just be around, you go ahead…"

Ginny decided to go after them and leave the game but George and Charlie wouldn't hear of it so she was stuck in the game. Meanwhile Harry and Hermione walked to the other side of the Burrow, Harry was giving sideward glances to Hermione throughout their short walk, they finally decided to sit where they were not really in anyone's sight.

"What are you thinking?" Harry asked

"Umm just over what you said, you do know that entire wizarding world know that you saved them, they are aware of the sacrifices given by you so I don't think you have to worry about that, as far as the ministry goes, a lot of pro-voldermort personnel have been sent to either Azkaban for their cruelty or they have just been sacked while others are following orders by the present ministry…" She could see that Harry was looking at her as if wanting to know how she knew all this,

"I heard these things from Hagrid and Percy. They either drop by or write to me…" She added the last bit after a break. "As for other kids, all you can do is pay them respect. I know a majority suffered in this war but so did you Harry…throughout your life so the key is to move on. Anyway like I said everything will be normal hopefully and you have nothing to worry about except for enjoying your last year and studying hard"

Harry frowned at this, he wanted to point out that she herself has suffered as well; she was still in some kind of denial which was stopping her from moving on, at least that's what he thought… "Nothing can be normal Hermione…I can't even begin to think what it would be like there without you, I just never thought that Hermione Granger will not feel like going to Hogwarts. I just don't….why are you not going Hermione, please give me a better reason than you don't feel like it???"

Hermione stared ahead this time, not able to face Harry, "Things change Harry. Hermione Granger doesn't want to go to school. I don't …." And then Hermione went quiet…Harry waited for her to continue but she didn't.

He didn't let it drop though, he thought this was his chance to get some honest answers out of her, "You don't what?"

"Nothing Harry, nothing important…"

"No not nothing Harry…Hermione please talk to me…I need a better reason. You and I are best friends and on some level I consider…I well…I think of you as a much closer friend than Ron as against much popular belief." He went for Hermione's hand and held it, "please tell me"

"Harry I assure you that my reason is as simple and as dumb as the one you already know, besides that I just have lost interest. Harry I was an only child to my parents, before you and Ron I never really had real friends. So all my life till now I've been trying to prove myself to my parents and to you or Ron. I've always been on top knowing how proud my parents will be of me, the academics was one thing that I truly shared with them, I never fully told them about the adventures we've had for past 7 years, I knew they'd be scared and pull me out of magical world, I am not sure really if they'd done that but I believed it to be true. They knew how much I loved you and Ron…they knew you guys were my best friends and …"

She once again stopped, while Harry was a bit taken aback by all this, his heart was beating fast at her mention of loving him … I know she meant as a friend…I know she meant as a friend, she mentioned Ron as well…at least she loves us…Harry's thinking process was stopping him from concentrating on what Hermione was talking about now, he could see her lips moving but couldn't concentrate, concentrate Harry, concentrate!

"…so you see this time I don't see why I should go. The feeling to prove myself and impress my parents is not there anymore. I always looked forward to their praises and how proud they were of me... I don't know…if that really is the true reason but I don't want to go and I will appreciate it if you just settle for this reason and don't ask me again…" Hermione said with an air of finality in her tone.

"I don't know why Hermione you think there is a need for you to prove yourself, I don't think there is any. Your parents will always be proud of you. I know it's hard to believe when people tell you that your parents are looking over you and are aware of what you are doing even if they are not visible…trust me Hermione, when I pulled out that resurrection stone when I willingly went to Voldermort…I saw my parents and Sirius, they all told me how proud they were of me and they will always be with me…I am sure your parents are there as well looking after you…"

Hermione turned towards Harry when he said all this, this was the first time he spoke of resurrection stone with Hermione and she was quite speechless, she was given a hope by her best friend and she didn't know how to express her gratitude. Harry and Hermione both were staring at eachother, there was a certain pull between the two…finally Harry moved forward and kissed Hermione on the lips. Hermione didn't pull back as she was shocked but the minute she realized what's happening she pushed Harry away…she kept staring at him while Harry was taking deep breaths. She touched her lips where Harry had kissed her, "wh…why Harry?"

She was confused and without waiting for her answer she stood up, "you shouldn't have. You…Harry … Ginny won't like it. Don't tell her. She already ….me and …" she couldn't process any coherent sentences due to her obvious shock over what happened and the fact she liked it a lot.

Harry got hold of her hand again, "I am sorry Hermione…please I am sorry…I don't know what made me. I just am sorry…"

"Look at me Hermione …please I beg you to look at me." Hermione who was looking down at her feet, finally looked up.

"I won't tell Ginny…don't worry. She already…well I don't want to…"

"What are you talking about Hermione? Ginny said something to you? Listen Hermione I am sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I just wanted to ok…I know it's not a good reason but … " Harry ran his hand through his hair and looked around while Hermione just stood quietly there,

"What were you saying about Ginny? Did she say anything to you? "

Hermione looked at him and shook her head, "No…I just meant I don't want to do this to her. I am sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about Hermione, I did it and it's my fault. Forgive me please…lets forget this ever happened?" suggested Harry, still running his hands through his hair out of nervousness.

"Yeah that would be good for everyone" Hermione replied a bit coldly and walked away without waiting for him to join her. Harry stayed behind and kept cursing himself for acting on his instincts, he was not sorry though. He enjoyed the kiss, it was different from Ginny's, he couldn't tell how but he liked it. He immediately felt confused and extremely sorry for he cheated on Ginny, he always considered himself to be above that, he never even considered it possible that he would cheat on anyone. He sat down again on the floor over analyzing everything….does this mean I like Hermione in a romantic way…was this a mistake…Oh my God…I am not even considering Ron. I betrayed him in the worst possible way; I told him again and again that I liked Hermione as a sister and nothing else. I don't think of her as a sister…she is … oh I just hope we put it behind us. It will be one of those things we take with us to the graves…

He was interrupted from his thoughts by Ginny's voice, "hey dinner's ready…lets go…"

She offered her hand to Harry which he gladly took. She kissed him, Harry tried to pull back but Ginny was a bit forceful…"umph…Ginny I think it is time to go…" He felt horrible for kissing Ginny right after he initiated a kiss with Hermione.

"So what were you and Hermione talking about?" asked Ginny

"Nothing important…I just wanted to change her mind about not going to Hogwarts…"

"Let her be Harry. She is a grownup and can make her own decisions…" Ginny's response irritated Harry a little but he didn't say anything. Why can't you say anything to Ginny, it is never a problem to give a shut up call to Hermione…because Hermione is not your girlfriend ….

"Harry?"

"oh yeah … Ginny is there something wrong between Hermione and you?"

Ginny hesitated a little before replying, it was obvious she was trying to choose her words carefully, "No, not really. I have been trying to talk to her and she doesn't talk much. So other day I just told her that I really missed talking to her and that she is my best friend but Hermione just kept quiet…then I got a bit angry so I said ok then if you don't want to talk then let it be…after that I left… I …. Harry I meant to apologize, really I did but she is not in a very sociable mood as of late…you must believe me…Did she tell you something?"

"I know Ginny, I know she's been really quiet. I am not mad at you. I think you were right and you don't have to beg her to talk to you. If she is not talking to you then fine…let it be. She didn't tell me anything..I just kind of noticed you know. You both don't hangout as much as you used to in Hogwarts…anyway lets go…"

Throughout the night Harry and Hermione avoided each other, Ron noticed the cold shoulder they were both giving eachother and decided to confront Harry with it as it would be a better option, "hey Harry…come help me with some last minute stuff that needs to be packed?"

Harry immediately got up as he was getting a bit embarrassed by Ginny's open display of affection, she kept kissing him on his cheek or sometimes lips, Hermione saw all this and was disturbed by the two and once again decided to help Mrs. Weasley with cleaning. Why am I bothered with what Harry and Ginny do…he has no decency, openly kissing Ginny infront of me right after we shared an intense kiss…Hermione liked kissing Harry and her feeling for him were all mixed up. She kept looking between Ron and Harry…and was really confused and wanted to leave everything.

Meanwhile up in Ron's room, Harry was helping Ron with some stuff that forgot to pack, they were not important items and he doubted that Ron forgot to pack them but helped roll his socks anyway.

"So Harry what's up? Excited about tomorrow?"

"Yeah…kind of weird though…" said Harry

"I know…I don't know how I am going to survive without Hermione's help." Ron was looking at Harry to see if his expression changes and he did notice him flinch a little.

"Hey Harry…is there something wrong?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Harry replied half irritated and half jokingly

"I just noticed that you and Hermione were kind of avoiding eachother…so I was just wondering if you had another row or something? You know you are acting like me lately, picking up fights with her and irritating her … " then Ron added with a big grin, "I picked fights with her for a good reason…why are you trying to replace me…don't do it mate. She can handle one of us, not both of us."

Ron had a smile on his face after this…

"What was your reason for picking fights with her…By the way we are not fighting, I just told her to give me a good reason for not coming and she didn't have any so I guess probably that's why she is a bit pissed at me…" Harry said all this without meeting Ron's eyes…"So Ron…why did you pick fights with her, I never knew there was a good reason for you to bug her…"

Ron blushed immensely at this, "Well it's not like it is a good reason, I just…ok don't laugh since it is embarrassing, the thing is I developed a crush on Hermione quite some time back, even before than fifth year…Umm ok so … you see I always got annoyed, since I was not sure what was it that I felt for her so it confused me a lot and I took it out on Hermione. I realized in sixth year what was it all and I still couldn't do anything about it so the easiest way to deal with my feelings was to hate her and the only way to hate her or to get disinterested in her I fought with her so she would do something hurtful and I would have a good reason to be angry with her…"

Harry was staring at him with an open mouth…when Ron saw him, he realized that he must've sounded stupid…"I know I know it sounds stupid and doesn't make sense but mate…I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with her and yet I didn't want to be with her…I mean I didn't like the idea of not being able to do anything about it…I didn't have the courage so I just took my frustration out on her. Ok now you can laugh but don't expect me to be quiet about it…I will hit you …" finished Ron.

Harry on the other hand found all this funny but at the same time very familiar…does this mean I like her too…frustration and these new odd feelings are exactly what's bugging me and I am short with Hermione…oh my God…I just hope my case is different…I am not Ron so it has to be different…Ron's tirade about the whole Hermione thing confused Harry a lot and scared him also.

"I am not going to laugh but you are right I should not pick on her…I mean your reasons were stupid but I remember how Hermione was after those fights…she was truly hurt and always cried…" replied Harry.

"Yeah and don't forget that we always developed a team whenever I had a fight with her…but its always been you in the end that she relied on…I am not doubting you mate…you know in that way…"Ron blushed…"but its just that she needs Harry's shoulder to cry on not to make her cry…"

Harry went quiet, he was amazed at how mature Ron sounded there…and he was right … I always picked Ron's side and hardly ever Hermione's…it went both ways. He took my side over hers and I took his over hers. Though last year changed…

"You know last year your attitude changed with her…you really looked after her Ron. She really does like you…I know …" Harry said this but was a bit disheartened by the last part.

"Thanks to that book Fred and George gave me but I guess I have matured a lot and I truly care for Hermione more than anything in life…and if she needs time I am willing to give her time, her friendship is more important to me than starting a relationship, I don't want to force her into anything…see how mature I am"

Harry was amazed at what Ron was saying …And Here I am! almost ruined the most precious gift by acting on my instincts…how can I even face Ron and Ginny after that…It was a mistake Harry…a mistake, everyone makes mistakes…

Ron was closing his trunk, when the door opened and Hermione entered…

"Ron your mum wants to know if you packed your blue jumper? She washed it this morning and was just wondering if you packed it or not…", she said this without paying any attention to Harry.

"Yep I did…I packed everything all by myself without missing anything…." Ron replied with a proud smile. It was a contagious smile and Hermione also smiled genuinely. She moved to go back but Ron stopped her, "hey stay…it is our last day, don't you want to spend it here with your dumb friend and me?"

"Hey! " Harry said in mock anger.

Hermione sat down, still avoiding Harry.

Ron sensed the tension between the two and decided to break the ice, "Hey Hermione, I was just telling Harry not to replace me by picking fights with you, I believe only I am allowed to pick on you … tell him that"

"what do you mean Ron, Harry didn't do anything…" Hermione said

"Yeah I didn't so stop jumping to conclusions…I never fight with her…" said Harry

Hermione interrupted Ron's reply and said, "Oh now I won't say you never do that … well you do and a lot as well…"

"No…" Harry objected but Hermione hushed him…."it is true Harry, your way of expressing is just different…I mean when you are mad at me you avoid me and stop talking to me…Ron does that too but after a heated argument…", Hermione said the last part with a smile and was looking at Ron…"Honestly speaking…Ron! I prefer your way. At least I get to retaliate there…"

"Yeah I know your retaliation…I still have marks…I am careful now, provoke you when you don't have a wand in your hand…"

All three laughed at this but Harry's laughter was a bit forced…"I still don't think I get mad at you as much as Ron here does. He annoys you more…it comes to him easily … easier than me at least…"

"Hmm yeah that's true but I think it's always been easier for you to get mad at me…don't make me count ways…" Hermione sensed the change of mood and decided to drop it…"Anyway forget that…friends who fight and still remain closer are true friends, I don't think friendship without fights is healthy…so guys please write to me as often as you can…"

"I'll try otherwise wait for those small P.S. notes in either Ginny or Harry's letters…" said Ron. Once again tension broke out at Ginny's name but it went unnoticed by Ron. The three continued talking about one thing or the other with less participation from Hermione. Ron was wondering who would be teaching them … At this Hermione turned to face Harry, "Harry? I don't mean to pry or anything but I was wondering if you will clear Snape's name? I mean everyone still thinks of him as an evil person, I was just thinking I mean…don't you think you should?"

Harry and Ron both became extremely quiet, "I don't know. I will see how it will go once I am there Hermione…" snapped Harry and he excused himself to go and see if Ginny needs him. Harry wanted to get over the evening's event and the Snape conversation; he thought that probably a year at school without Hermione's nagging and only with Ginny will help him get over his messed up feelings and all the other things bothering him.

Later that night when everyone was sleeping, Hermione couldn't sleep and was standing outside Ron's room in complete dark. She was arranged to sleep in Bill's room as Charlie had left with Bill after dinner. Hermione wrote a small "I am Sorry" note and slipped it under the door, hoping that Harry would find it. She was half way through the corridor when the door opened and Harry came out. In sound but quick strides he was at her side and whispered, "I am assuming the note is for me…"

Hermione nodded,

"It's alright Hermione, no big deal. I just over reacted as I am confused. I guess you are right, I do get snappy with you. Anyway what are you doing up?"

"I am about to go sleep. I just wanted to apologize first but thought you were sleeping and had my fingers crossed that as usual you'll be up first and therefore will find the note first…"

Harry moved closer to Hermione, and brought her in to a hug. Hermione returned the hug and both didn't leave for quite some time. Harry kissed the side of her head, and then her forehead, he was about to aim for her lips again, but Hermione pulled back, "Good night then Harry",

"I am going to miss you a lot Hermione…Good night" Harry left and was wondering if he really was about to kiss her again. What the hell is wrong with me…why am I doing this? I like Ginny…I really do like Ginny, she is beautiful and kind…Harry kept repeating this in his head like a mantra. I am only feeling this way for Hermione because I want to help her…This was his dumb reason for kissing Hermione and almost kissing Hermione.

Finally morning came of their departure came; they were at the airport joined by all the Weasleys, including Dean and George. Hermione, George and Dean crossed the barrier with them and stood while they were loading up their luggage. Hermione stood there, extremely quiet and kept staring at the train. She hugged her friends but couldn't manage to bring out high enough voice for them to hear her wishes. Harry, Ron and Ginny settled in one of the compartments along with Neville, Luna … a lot of familiar faces were seen but again the station was not as crowded as Hermione remembered. She kept staring and watched it go. Harry on the other hand was staring at the zombie like Hermione at the station. He was feeling a loss so deep that he just didn't know how to express himself. He waved to get Hermione's attention which did the work, Hermione gave him a half smile and kept staring at him. She didn't wave, just kept her hands in her pockets. Harry noticed how pale and weak Hermione looked from distance…I think she didn't sleep last night…

Once the train was out of site, George and Dean literally dragged Hermione from her spot. She immediately said good byes to rest and apparated to her work place.

Harry on the other hand, could not shake Hermione's lost look from his mind.She looked like a lost puppy. He felt that somehow he has once again failed Hermione in some way. He was soon joined by Ginny, who sat on his lap and he encircled her waist unconsciously while still thinking about Hermione. He was not really focused on the kisses that Ginny was showering on his face, finally she realized that he was distracted, "Don't worry Harry…It will be the best year ever at school, you and I will be able to spend every moment together…since we both will be in same year…don't worry I'll help you with your studies as I've already been through more than half of course last year…" Harry just gave her half hearted smile…Is it really going to be a normal year like Ginny think…How come I doubt it so much, I only expect help from Hermione where studies are concerned…nobody can take her place…and do I want to be one of those guys who spend every waking minute with their girlfriends…Who is going to worry over me…or keep me grounded or hangout with…Maybe it'll turn out to be beneficial with no Hermione around, without depending on her so much…I'll be able to spend all the lost time of last year with Ginny and do normal stuff….Why do I feel that I betrayed Hermione…

A/N: Thankyou so much everybody for the kind reviews…I assure you the relationship has more or less started. More H/Hr in next chapter 