AU. There's a baby, a nutjob called Misha keeps texting him at all hours of the night and the CW is thinking about rebooting Battle of the Network Stars. Dean is pretty sure that this is hell.

Battle of the Network Stars

'It's like a tournament, Sam.'

'Jared,' Jared interrupts. Dean glances up. He keeps forgetting. Jared looks on concerned as Dean pinches the bridge of his nose and starts explaining again.

'It's like a tournament, Jared. Like an obligatory school torture thing where you have to swim and run and do other stupid stuff all day. In front of cameras. For fun.'

'Might be fun,' Jared remarks. Dean groans.

'Of course you'd like it,' he says. He gets up and walks away, because why is he worrying about this? He needs to worry about getting out of here.

'What does that mean?' Jared calls after him. Dean doesn't respond. This alternative universe nonsense is killing him. Especially since things aren't all that different. Castiel is still a lovable weirdo with a weird name to boot. Sam is still a dork – albeit one who's married to Ruby: what the hell? And they've also got weird names, by the way. Weird names for everyone!

(***)

'You hear about this bullshit?' Dean asks, studiously avoiding looking at Misha. This ordeal would be a whole lot easier if the guy didn't look so much like Castiel.

'Oh, Battle of the Network Stars, huh? Might be fun.'

'Ugh, just marry Padalexi already,' Dean mutters, disgruntled. He stirs his coffee and sulks.

'Jared thinks so too? Hmmm, I wonder if the plan is to compete against other networks? I can definitely see why the CW would be interested in bringing it back then. We're the youngest, fittest network out there. Although... Does MTV count as a network? I mean, have you seen the cast of Teen Wolf? Those guys are ripped,' Misha concludes, nodding with an earnest expression on his face. Dean stares at him as if he's from outer space.

(***)

'Did you get the link I sent you?' Dean says, plopping down on one of those flimsy set chairs next to his co-star.

'Yeah,' Jared admits, eyeing him warily.

'Well, did you click it and watch the horror unfold? Did you hear the commentary? That's what we'll have to go through, Sam. And I, for one, am not okay with that.'

'Jared. My name is Jared. You think you're being funny, but you're not. Cut it out,' Jared huffs before stalking off. Dean shrugs and sinks deeper into his wobbly chair.

(***)

'I watched some clips of it last night on youtube. I kind of liked it.'

Misha is always doing it. He can't open a phone conversation the normal way. No hello or anything. Not unlike Castiel.

'The network won't force you to participate if you don't want to,' Misha adds. There's din in the background. Is he having a party without Dean? Does Dean care? As if sensing Dean's despondency Misha asks him about JJ. The baby. Jensen's daughter. Dean softly slides his phone across the bar into a pool of beer.

(***)

'Did you watch it? Did you actually watch it? It's awful! They can't bring it back. They can't. I can't do it, Sam.'

Dean is close to tears.

'Ja...' Jared pauses, sighs. 'Never mind. No need to get hysterical. It's just an idea. It might never happen. And if it does, who cares?'

His hand is on Dean's shoulder and he's sort of rubbing it in a comforting way and it's weird. This guy so clearly loves him like a brother, but he's not Sam.

(***)

Jensen's wife is in the bed she usually shares with Jensen, so Dean is watching the baby. Not that the baby needs watching. It's fast asleep. As it should be at about three in the morning. Dean's phone – that won't fucking die – beeps. It's a text from Misha.

I'm coming over. Be there in 5.

Dean has no idea whether this is a regular thing. Is it one of Misha's strange habits to swing by in the middle of the night? Does he do this to everyone? Dean wanders downstairs and gets a couple of beers from the fridge. He opens the front door to let Misha in. The guy's wearing pyjama pants. Dean slumps on the couch.

'Still obsessed with Battle of the Network Stars?' Misha jokes. He stops immediately when he catches the look on Dean's face. He tilts his head as he studies Dean intently.

'Why does this bother you so much?' Misha asks.

'What if I'm like one of those unlucky women on the swimming relay? You know, 'she's stuck at anchor like a tugboat in the harbour. Her problem now will be survival.' That kind of thing. I'll be completely humiliated,' Dean explains. Misha laughs.

'They'll probably say you've 'got the look and cut of an athlete.' I'm sure you'll be fine, Dean,' Misha says. Dean manages a miserable nod. Then it hits him.

'What? What did you say?' he demands, sitting up straight.

'You'll be fine,' Misha repeats.

'No, that's not... Cas?'

Misha won't look at him.

'You're Castiel, right?' Dean presses. He grabs the shoulders of the man in front of him. The contact is a jolt similar to what Dean imagines licking an electrical socket feels like, except slightly less deadly. Shocking. The hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Misha – Cas, please, please – swallows and his eyes finally meet Dean's. Dean's fingers slip down his arms, ready to slide into an embrace.

'Don't,' Misha – Castiel - rasps, his voice slipping into something more familiar for a second. More gravelly. Dean shivers. He frowns, unhappily.

'How...'

Castiel shakes off Dean's hands. Thrusts his hands into the jacket that now seems more foreign on him than ever. The pyjama bottoms don't help.

'After I got here, I looked him up online. There's so much footage of him. It was easy to imitate him.'

'But why?'

'I like being Misha. He is uncomplicated. His life is uncomplicated.'

(***)

'You can't select a member of your own team!' Jared squeaks. Dean ignores him. He walks over to the other teams. All CW actors since the rest of the networks wouldn't play.

'Who do I have to bribe to get Jared wet? Who's pitching next?' Dean yells. One of the Vampire Diaries stars hesitantly raises her hand. Dean searches his memory for her name and grasps it.

'Let's make a deal, Dobrev. You're on the board. Promise me you'll pick Jared and I'll spare you. You know you want to see him go down.'

Dobrev – Nina, her first name is Nina, Dean remembers – thinks about it for a second and nods. He flashes her a smile.

'Yes!' Dean fist pumps. He catches Castiel's eye. There's a twinkle in there that grows brighter every day. Dean likes it. He points at an already resigned looking actor.

'Somerhalder, you're it. Get up there. I'm gonna dunk you good.'

(***)

There's a commercial break after Dean's turn during which he talks to Castiel. Castiel, who is radiant and happy. When they continue with the baseball dunk, Nina slowly walks past Jared and Dean smirks, thinking it's a fake out, until she takes his own hand. The little... That bastard Padalecki must have gotten to her.

'We had a deal,' Dean protests, but he's grinning. She then reaches across from him and places her left hand on Castiel's wrist.

'You too,' she says, pulling them to their feet. Castiel shrugs and starts to take off his shoes. Dean follows his example, glaring at Jared for form's sake. They climb the ladder. Together they balance themselves on the swing above the water tank. Dean laughs nervously, while Castiel simply beams. Nina smiles sweetly at the both of them. Girls can't throw for shit, Dean reminds himself. He can barely finish the thought before she hits the target and he plunges into the water.

Spluttering, he stands up in the tank. She does it two more times. Flawless aim. Jared looks smug. Afterwards, Dean and Castiel dry off. Dean snaps his towel at Castiel, but Castiel spins away. Laughing, they wrestle each other to the floor. Dean looks around. No cameras in sight.

'Are you by any chance kind of gay here? That Teen Wolf comment...'

'I'm the same as I've always been.'

'Well, in that case,' Dean mumbles against Castiel's mouth, 'I'm an idiot.'