so no excuses
ive just been a trash boi and not updated
but here we are, like eight months after ive last updated
i wrote like most of this, excluding the beginning and the end, in one day and i honestly dont care anymore im just putting this out into the world bc i need to for my own sanity. i was actually inspired to finally do it bc of a comment on a completely different fic that im nvr going to finish bout finishing that so i decided . . . to try and work on this one.
anyway, lots of shit has happening in my personal life and the show. fuck any resemblance of the timeline, but i am thinking of including the wanted arc somehow. and im my personal life, ive graduated, i have a job, and im going to college in the fall. other than that, i think im getting close to having a extensional crisis but u know. whatever.
so otherwise, i hope u all enjoy this shitty chapter.
"So why have you gathered all of us?" Pearl questions as she looks around.
Steven and John manages to summons the Gems and the Trolls to the beach, but that was just the easy part. Now they're standing in their distinctive groups a few feet away from each other. The next part will be the hardest, and after today (hopefully) everything will change.
Also on the beach are Dave, Jasprose and Roxy. Roxy and Jasprose are talking by the four transportalizers they installed this morning while Dave stands behind Steven and John, just loitering.
"Me and John decided that you guys need to get along more, so we came up with a game for you guys to play!" Steven declares.
"Trolls verses Gems?" Vriska guesses. "This'll be easy."
"No," John corrects. "It's a partner game: one troll, one gem."
There's mixed results to this revelation. Peridot, Karkat, Lapis, Garnet and Kanaya are emotionless; Pearl and Vriska show visible disgust; and Aradia, Amethyst and Terezi look curious.
"And we've already come up with teams!" Steven adds.
"And the teams are," John begins, checking some writing on his hand. "Karkat and Peridot, Kanaya and Pearl, Terezi and Amethyst, Vriska and Garnet . . . darn it's kinda smudged here, oh wait, and Aradia and Lapis!"
"Now stand with your partners please!" Steven asks.
The Trolls grumble but move anyway, while the Gems need a nod from Garnet and a glance at the hopeful look in Steven's eyes to follow suit. Each pair makes sure to stay a good distance away from each other while still looking like they're close enough for someone to understand that they're partners.
"This. Is. Stupid," Karkat mumbles.
"Agreed," Peridot replies.
"How did you even pick these teams!?" Vriska demands.
"Well for starters, we let Dave do it because he wanted to," Steven answers.
"Sup," Dave speaks up for the first time this morning, glancing up from his phone momentarily to give everyone a small nod.
"Oh, so that's why they're bullshit!" Vriska exclaims.
"Hey I put a lot of thought into this," Dave insists flatly as he puts his phone away, showing that he's serious.
"No you didn't," John says.
"Completely true," Dave agrees. "But I put like a few thoughts into it. At least three, no more than five."
"So, what exactly was your reasoning, oh wise coolkid?" Terezi questions.
"That's a great question," Dave says before pausing.
Steven waits for a moment, but when Dave shows no sign of giving an answer, he prompts, "And?"
"It was a fine question. I appreciated it," Dave explains.
"So? Care to explain?" Steven continues.
"Sure," Dave shrugs but continues without another hitch. "So Karkat and Peridot was already pretty clear because like, they're short, shout a lot, have temper tantrums, and like cheesy romances. And the shipping charts. Don't forget the shipping charts."
Terezi sniggers at that, and Amethyst seems to be trying not to laugh too. Karkat and Peridot both give them the same glare.
"So . . . . . . . . basically, what you're saying is that they suck so you put them together?" Vriska asks.
"No. Fuck you. They're both awesome in their own ways they just have a lot of ground to bond together over," Dave explains with a surprising amount of reason from him. It must've been because she targeted Karkat. Dave moves on back to his coolkid mode, "Next was Kanaya and Pearl, because they are both really gay and fell in love with someone named Rose."
Pearl blushes at Dave's description, but Kanaya just looks like she's been done with Dave since the first five minutes they spent together.
"And then Amethyst and Terezi. You both like to eat slash taste weird stuff and I thought you two would have fun together. Like a good cop/bad cop type dealio."
"Dibs on bad cop," Amethyst instantly claims.
"As long as we uphold justice together, I'm fine," Terezi adds.
"And then for Vriska and Garnet . . . yeah I was havin' trouble. From what Steven told me you both are competitive, and once I explained to him what 'too many irons in the fire' meant (or at least what I think it means, like Vriska, you said that phrase like every other ten minutes when we were on the Meteor and I still have no idea what you were doing, I think you just liked sayin' it? Just sayin') it sounds like Garnet also has irons in the fire? At least too many of them. So yeah. Have fun together."
"I always have too many irons in the fire Dave," Vriska says with a laugh, but then she glares at Garnet, who has said nothing else. She just shrugs.
"And finally . . . Lapis and Aradia. Yeah, sorry, I ran out of ideas. Hope you guys have fun together."
Aradia and Lapis share a look, and then fist-bump, so a mutual agreement has already been found between the two of them.
"Okay, now that we got this stupid partner thing outta the way, can you fucking tell us what the fuck we're doing so I can win this thing?" Vriska complains.
"Sure!" Steven happily exclaims. "You will be doing a scavenger hunt together! Me and the Kids wrote the clues, Roxy, Dirk and Jasprose designed the paths-and each one is unique! Plus, some of the clues are for the gems, and some are for the Trolls so you'll have to work together to decipher them if you wanna make it to the end!"
It's quite as everyone mulls over the rules, until Vriska yells, "TEAMWORK'S STUPID!"
"So are you," Karkat grumbles back.
"C'mon guys!" Steven begins to give an inspirational speech. "The Trolls are now living on Earth, and you're all going to have to get along if this is going to work. I know you've had your past grudges, but you have to let go of those so we can be a team!"
"Plus," Dave continues, "As an animated guinea pig, turtle, and duckling once said, 'what's gonna work? teamwork'."
Steven feels like he and Dave have clinched the deal, but John ends up slamming it shut, "And there's a prize at the end for the winning team!"
Vriska mulls this fact over for a second before she announces, "ME AND GARNET ARE GOING TO RUIN YOU ALL!"
"Think again!" Terezi argues. "My deduction skills are superior to yours, so you'll be kissing our spinal cracks!"
"Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm going to let Vriska win," Aradia adds with a sickly smile.
"It's not like either of you have been able to stop me before," Vriska counters.
Pearl interrupts the three trolls' trash-talking, "Prize or not, I believe that this is a waste of our time, who knows what else could be happening-"
"Nothing," Garnet interrupts.
Pearl shoots Garnet an unhappy glare but continues, "Or we could be productive and things like training and-"
Amethyst nudges Terezi and fake-whispers, loud enough for everyone to hear, "It sounds like to me that P's 'fraid she's gonna lose."
"I AM NO-" Pearl instantly counters, but stops herself and clears her throat. "I am sure that if I did decide to play I would be able to beat the likes of you. I actually like riddles and deciphering them."
"That's 'cause yer a nerd," Amethyst tease. She and Terezi high-five. "But Terezi's basically a detective."
"That I am," Terezi agrees. "And if the Kids made the clues, I know their typing styles. Plus, I lived with Dave and Rose for three years."
"So did all of us," Kanaya counters.
"Since when have you been involved, fussy fangs?" Vriska teases.
Kanaya sighs and announces, "Since now. I never played with you back on Alternia because frankly, the cycle of hate was inconceivably stupid, but now, and I am not being human sarcastic or anything, I am going to kick all of your asses."
Vriska, Pearl, John and Steven are all shocked at the gall Kanaya had to say that; Dave, Terezi, Amethyst, and Lapis are all laughing; Aradia seems up to the challenge; and Garnet and Peridot both look like they're not paying attention. Karkat, however, gives Kanaya a quick pat on the back and says, "Yeah, give them hell because there is no putrid crotchblistering bulgelicker way am I going to participate."
"You always complain about stuff like this though," John argues.
"No, John, you do not understand," Karkat says as he walks up to John and puts his hands on John's shoulder so the taller human can look him in his blood red eyes, "There is a fucking reason I don't play games for girls: I will fucking die. I will die, here and now, during this dickfucking insufferable cluckbeastshit of a game."
"You won't die," Steven argues. "It's just a scavenger hunt."
Karkat motions back to the teams, who are all getting riled up and trash-talking each other. Karkat continue his rant, "Listen, Steven, I know you are an idealist and all that but I am a very rational troll-"
"Coughnournotcough," Dave says in the background. "Coughbutthatswhyiloveucough."
"-and I know the history that has been put before me. Trolls literally have died playing games with Vriska and Terezi and Aradia-LIKE ARADIA ACTUALLY DID DIE PLAYING THESE WHIMSICAL BULLSHIT GIRL GAMES-and I, too, will die," Karkat insists.
"Uh, guys!" Steven announces. It looks like a scuffle was about to start between Vriska and Kanaya anyways while he was distracted by Karkat, "I'm just going to add an additional rule which is, uh, don't try to kill anyone? I trust you all not to do that anyway, but Karkat's kinda afraid of that happening."
"That's a completely rational thought," Aradia agrees.
"But paralyzation is on the table, right?" Vriska checks and Terezi smacks the back of her head. "I was joking!"
"You weren't the first time!" Terezi argues.
"Alright enough!" Garnet interrupts everyone. "Can we play this game yet? I wanna win."
Amethyst begins laughing while Pearl is left gasping at Garnet's comment.
"Everyone back in your spots!" Steven calls out, and everyone lines up again-including Karkat, who sulks back to his spot-but this time they're standing closer, forgetting the animosity between their species to be joined together by their competitiveness.
Steven finishes explaining the rules, "When I say go, head to the warp with your names on it to go to your first clue! From then on, you'll be collecting clues, trying to decipher them, and then going to that place! There should be a warp that'll take you to the Galaxy Warp where Roxy has adjusted the warp pads to take you to other clue locations! They're all labeled too-and yes, none are connected to Homeworld-until you reach the finish! First one to the finish wins and gets the prize! Everyone understand?"
There's positive murmurs, a straight out 'I hate this' from Karkat, and a 'OH YES!' from Vriska. Steven just takes that as everyone is ready.
"Okay," Steven begins the countdown. "On your marks, get ready, get steady, GO!"
The pairings launch from their position and jump onto their warp pads, leaving in a flash. Well, except for Karkat and Peridot.
"Uh . . . shouldn't we go?" Peridot asks Karkat.
"I'm letting them get a head start," Karkat grumbles, eyeing the warp pads warily like someone is going to appear out of nowhere just to punch him in the face.
" . . . Because we're pitying them as we're obviously the superior team?" Peridot tries to comprehend.
"No," Karkat says. "Because otherwise we'd fucking die . . . okay now let's go."
Karkat and Peridot begin to walk towards their warp pad, and as they past Steven tries to give them support, "It's very unlikely that you'll run into anyone else! And I think you two will do great!"
"I love ya babe," Dave adds. Karkat gives Dave the middle finger and he and Peridot step onto the warp pad and disappear in a burst of light.
"Well," Roxy finally speaks up now that everyone was gone. "That was hilarious but I'd like to point out and flaw with the obvious motivator in this whole shindig."
"Why didn't you bring that up before?" John counters.
"Because I don't remember there bein' talks of a prize during the initial planning,"
Roxy points out.
"Oh," John pauses. "Shit. I made that up to get Vriska to play."
"Good idea, nothin' motivates Vriska more than treasure or flaunting how she's better than everyone," Dave comments.
"So then . . . what do we do?" Steven questions.
"Nothing?" John suggests. "Unless you've got some prizes lying around."
"I've got some stuff I won at Funland," Steven says.
"Don't worry hombres," Dave steps up to the plate. "I've got an idea. Your whole prize shit is completely covered."
"Oh, thanks Dave!" Steven says. "Now let's go and check in on Dirk to see how it's going."
Another key component of the scavenger hunt-for its creators at least-was the ability to watch it. Dirk set up cameras everywhere (an ability that slightly freaked Dave out and Dirk had to fix by proving to Dave that he had no hidden cameras in the house but, from what Steven glanced off of the conversation they had, Dave was right to be upset by this) and created a monitor room in the Golden Battleship.
However, Dirk was experiencing some technical difficulties.
In fact, those are the words that showed up on every screen while a jaunty polka tune played.
Dirk had no idea what happened, because he had turned around for one second to "take a piss off the side of the ship into the ocean" (that almost became a conversation about Dirk's old life on his flooded Earth, which was gladly avoided) and when he came back everything was like this. He spent forty minutes tinkering around, and now he's resorted to the ultimate tech recovery method: just smacking the screens until they turn on.
"Uh . . . will this actually work?" Steven asks as he sits between Roxy and John in a couple of the beach chairs Jane and Jake dragged up after the arrival of the Meteor.
"It's an ancient tech secret Steven," Roxy fake-whispers.
"Oh. okay."
"It working yet?" Rose asks as she returns with Jade. "Jane's almost done with the popcorn."
"Didn't you say that last time?" John questions.
Rose's eyes narrow and Jade answers for her, "Jasprose ruined the first batch and Rose banished her to taking care of Gcatavorsprite."
"Yeah guess who's back!" Jasprose yells as she bursts in the room. Rose's frown deepens as Jasprose continues speaking, "I gave Gcatavros another placebo pill and he stopped sneezing. Man, you all are stupid if you haven't tricked him like that yet. Well, no more stupid than Gcatavros."
"I hate this," Rose sighs as she sits down, head in her hands.
"Why don't you go find Davepeta to watch with us?" Jade suggests to Jasprose, seeing Rose slowly crumble.
Jasprose pauses, "It sounds like you all want to get rid of m-no I'm just kidding, of course I'll go and get my favorite sibling. See you soon!"
Once Japsrose is out of the room, Rose sighs, "Thank fucking gog."
Steven's interrupting from replying about swearing and how he likes Jasprose when Dirk smacks the back of one of the screens very loudly, the sharp pang of flesh colliding with plastic shocking everyone, but it stops the jaunty polka music because all of the screens have turned back on.
The screens are positions so that the biggest, and the main one, is in the middle. Dirk has a remote that can pull up any of the locations on it, because the cameras are already programmed to move dynamically and follow the players. Around the big screen are tinier screens, all playing live-action feed of each location. On these screens, Steven can already see his friends moving through the lands and ruins towards the clues.
"I'm a tech god," Dirk declares as he sits down and grabs a remote. "Alright, who should we watch first?"
"I wanna see how Pearl is getting along with Kanaya," Steven says. He's honestly been worried about Pearl the most, because she's the one who has been the wariest towards trolls.
"Flipping to the Lesbian channel," Dirk announces.
On the middle screen, Kanaya and Pearl are fighting a gem monster in the strawberry battlefields. Well, finishing a fight. Kanaya slices through the gem's form with her chainsaw, causing it burst. Pearl catches the gem and bubbles it, landing right next to Kanaya.
"I must admit," Pearl says. "You somehow make wielding a weapon as noisy and messy as that graceful."
"Thank-you, I appreciate your style as well," Kanaya returns.
"Aw, they're bonding!" Steven gushes.
"Hopefully that gem monster didn't slow us down too much, the next clue should be on the floating island up ahead," Pearl says, and they run off-screen as the camera angle changes to an overhead shot of them running across the strawberry-and-weapon-covered landscape before starting to hop across floating islands.
Roxy pulls up her spreadsheet of the paths, "Wow, those two are already on the third clue."
"I just realized something," John says as soon as Roxy's done. "We never told them how clues each of them have, did we?"
"I told you guys that we should've cut down on them," Jade mumbles from behind John.
"They'll just have to live with the 50 clues we all gave them," John says with a shrug. "So let's go to Vriska. I wanna see if she's being cooperative."
Dirk wordlessly changes the channel, and Vriska and Garnet seem to be on some type of blue world, filled with glowing mushrooms and yellow salamanders. They're wandering around as Vriska complains, "John wants us to find a single, fucking mailbox in all of LOWAS!? Allllllll of the mailboxes are fucking connected, it could be in any of them!"
Garnet suddenly stops at one of the metal pipes, opens it up, and pulls out a plastic tube that has a small piece of paper in it, "Found it."
"How'd she know?" John groans. "I wanted them to be stuck there for hours!"
"I forgot about Garnet's future vision," Steven admits.
"The popcorn's done!" Jane announces, coming into the room with Jake and Calliope-all of them carrying two large bowls of popcorn apiece-while Roxy refers back to the spreadsheet. They pass out the bowls and join everyone else, watching Vriska and Garnet maneuver around salamanders to get back to the warp.
"They're far ahead too-four in," Roxy comments.
"Yep, future vision," Steven sighs.
"Have you checked in on Karkat yet?" Jade questions.
"Nah, just got it working a few minutes ago," Dirk admits, but he changes the channel anyways.
"-I think we have to go to the meteor?" Karkat says, scratching his head while he and Peridot mull around outside the barn. "That's the only place that makes sense to me."
"Then let's do it," Peridot agrees, and the two leave.
"Hey," Jane leans forward between Roxy and Steven to not only pass up some popcorn, but ask, "Where's Dave?"
"Johnny told them that there'd be a prize, so he's getting it," Roxy explains. "By the way, Karkat and Peridot are only heading to their second clue, so they seem to be on schedule."
"Plus, they gave everyone else a head start," John adds.
"Why?" Jade questions.
"Because he's afraid that the others will kill him," John says with a roll of his eyes.
"Oh."
"And what about my adventuring chum, Aradia?" Jake asks Dirk.
Dirk flips the channel, and Lapis and Aradia are side-by-side as they fly over the ocean towards Empire City. Aradia looks really excited about the whole thing, probably glad to go back her roots as an explorer and she hasn't had a chance to explore Earth yet. Steven's glad to see that Lapis seems contempt as well, even though neither one is talking.
"And they're on their fourth clue as well," Roxy notes. "Man, this game might be over before we know it."
"They have forty-six more clues to go through," Rose points out.
"I know, but . . ."
"And finally, let's check in on fan-favorites: Terezi and Amethyst," Dirk says like a TV show host when he changes the channel. Terezi and Amethyst are in a lava world, but is also looks like a stock market. It has a golden exterior and inside are a bunch of dials showing numbers that are rapidly falling. Plus, it's filled with crocodiles.
"Ah, the LOHAC Stock Exchange, this brings back memories," Terezi sighs.
"Hey, I thought you were against breaking the law," Amethyst says as she shifts into a crowbar and tries to pry a safe open. "And isn't cracking open a safe with the bois breaking the law?"
"When it's in the name of the pursuit of justice! Nonsense!" Terezi declares. "Dave knows I dislike breaking the law, so he would have hidden it this safe. But, he also should have expected the extremes I go to uphold justice."
"And what type a justice are we upholding here?" Amethyst continues to question.
"Stopping Vriska from winning, obviously!" Terezi exclaims with one of her signature cackles.
"That's not how the law works," John grumbles, but everyone knows that he's just being contradictory because it's Terezi. Even if that is not how the law actually works.
Terezi continues, "Besides, me and Dave ruined the LOHAC economy years ago. It will never recover."
Amethyst finally pries the safe door open and throws it open. Inside, on a pile of colorful ingots, is a note written in red ink. Amethyst hands that Terezi, but also picks up an ingot and asks, "You were saying?"
"Boonbucks are useless on Earth," Terezi counters as she begins to lick the paper.
Amethyst shrugs, "Still gonna loot it."
As Amethyst loots and Terezi licks, Roxy comments, "Man, they're five clues in. This is wild."
"Let's just wait and see how it plays out," Dirk says, and he changes the channel again.
Pearl had seen plenty of large human dwellings in her time on Earth, ranging from the pyramids of Giza, temples the Greeks built, General Washington's estate Mount Vernon, and the construction of the Empire State Building. But, Rose Lalonde's house took the cake.
"During the game, you had to build up your hive to reach the portals to the next land," Kanaya explains as they enter the front door, only to be greeted by a large statue of a wizard. Kanaya ignores that and moves on, "But the rest of the structure is empty-just walls and floors and ceilings-as the real part of the hive is here."
"I'm surprised that John's note lead us to your girlfriend's home," Pearl admits. Pearl is surprised that she's talking this much with a troll, but Kanaya has seemed to be nothing but amiable towards her, talking about her past in regards of the clues regardless of how Pearl is being closed off, possibly because she's had no one else to talk to it about than the same eight people she spent three years with.
"Well, my first conversation with Rose was actually with John pretending to be Rose as a 'prank'," Kanaya says. "So, the clue should lead us to Rose's room, where I shall have to bite the human proverbial bullet, or however the saying goes."
Another thing Pearl had been surprised with is how glad she feels to no longer be the alien with the least Earth experience, which is a feeling that sometimes Peridot also provides. Sure, some of the modern culture tidbits and slang may trip her up, but she's been here for thousands of years and understands the history of Earth and what makes it unique just fine. The trolls only have whatever knowledge of Earth that filtered through the unreliable narrators the Kids are. That is something she can appreciate about the Trolls.
"What are you expecting?" Pearl questions as she follows Kanaya up a set of stairs to a slightly ajar door.
Kanaya doesn't answer, but opens the door as she steps forward, a bucket falling from above and drenching Kanaya in water. The handle of the metal bucket gets caught in one of her horns, adding another layer to the ridiculousness of the situation.
"That," Kanaya spits out. She pulls out her lipstick and is about to reapply it when she continues, "One of John's pranks."
"Okay, so, I get that you're really cool and not the best conversationalist but you have been finding allllllll of the fucking clues!" Vriska exclaims as she and Garnet walk around a place the Gem called 'Rose's Fountain', though Vriska doesn't understand why so many fucking things are named after Lalonde of all people. Vriska continues to complain, "Mind, like, letting me have some of the glory?"
Garnet pauses, causing Vriska to run into one of her thick legs. Garnet turns around as Vriska collects herself, and asks, "Do you want to win?"
"What?" Vriska asks as she rubs her head. "And why are your thighs so stronger?"
"Do you want to win?" Garnet repeats.
"Uh . . . yeah?" Vriska replies.
"Then let me find the clues," Garnet replies. "I'm faster than you, and the faster we find the clues, the faster we win."
Vriska takes in Garnet's words for a minute but then just groans, "Uhg! Fine! Hog all the glory see if I care!"
Garnet suddenly pushes her hand down into the waters of the fountain and pulls out a tube covered in vine, "Found it."
"ARGH!"
"ARGH! I FUCKING HATE THIS!" Karkat yells at nothing.
Peridot sighs and leans down to sifts to the rubble of the Communication Hub, she finally agrees, "This game has not been as much 'fun' as Steven described."
"That's because it's a pretentious bitchshitting foolish girls' game where dickprince chumps like us get culled!" Karkat yells again and kicks one of the rocks.
"I doubt yelling will get us anywhere," Peridot says as she stands up. "But why do you keep on calling this 'scavenger hunt' a 'girl's game'?"
"Back on Alternia, only girls played dangerous imbecillic dickfucking groinfuck games like this," Karkat sighs. "Because, y'know, girl trolls are always the more dangerous ones. That's why we have HIC as our leader and not some weakling male. And also, why I don't want to play this game."
Peridot is not the best with emotions and such, but she can tell that Karkat is deeply upset by being forced to participate, "I don't think either one of us is having 'fun' anyway."
"True that," Karkat sighs and sits down.
"We had more fun just watching Camp Pining Hearts," Peridot continues. "Isn't that what spurned Steven to force us to play this game, anyway?"
"Right," Karkat sighs again. He rests his head in his hands, but suddenly he sits up straight again, "Wait . . . I have an idea . . . ."
Aradia hasn't had this much fun in a while. Like, true fun. She imagines that the last time was her second-to-last FLARP game with Tavros, but she doesn't spend too much time thinking about that.
She does have to admit, that much of her excitement for this adventure is owed to her new adventure buddy, Lapis. Aradia always appreciated Tavros' ability to bend the environment through his control of the Alternian fauna, and now that she's hanging out with Lapis she has realized something: always bring someone who can bend the laws of nature on your expedition.
Lapis has implemented her hydrokinesis many times in the adventure so far, and it has made it so much better. At one point, she parted the sea just so Aradia could see some creatures Earth offers. They rode down a waterfall on a still platform Lapis made. And now, she just elevated them up from sea level to an ancient temple.
"I don't think this is a Gem ruin," Lapis says as they explore the crumbling ruins while the sun rises.
"It's a human one," Aradia says, reading a history book Dave left for her at one of their clue spots. "Neither one of us have been on Earth for that long, and I don't have as much of a history with the Kids as the others. So, I guess they're supplementing ones."
"That's cool," Lapis says, admiring the shambles of the architecture.
"This is the Temple of Poseidon," Aradia explains. "A human god of the seas. Look like we were spot on."
"Humans had gods just for water?" Lapis laughs. "That's funny."
"Cuz we're basically gods," Aradia says with a small laugh.
"I thought you were just a god," Lapis points out.
Aradia pauses, "You are basically a god too. You're immortal as long as your gem is intact, and you have complete control over water. If you were here thousands of years ago when humans primitively worshiped natural phenomenon, you'd definitely be praised as one."
Lapis' face skews, "That's weird."
Aradia laughs, "I know! Anyway, let's find the clue. I wanna see more of Earth."
Aradia runs off up the steps of the Temple of Poseidon, and Lapis follows with a fond laugh, "Me too."
"You're gonna teach me how to taste colors eventually, right?" Amethyst asks as she watches Terezi lick the walls of the Beta Kindergarten. "Because I wanna taste colors."
Terezi pauses and turns around, "Maybe . . . do you think you're ready?"
"I'm pretty sure I've always been ready" Amethyst insists.
Terezi walks up to Amethyst and gets really close. Amethyst doesn't even flinch as she hisses, "Are you really ready?"
"Uh . . . yeah," Amethyst replies.
Terezi pauses again and admits, "I actually don't know if you can. I think you have to blind."
"Well, I can fix that," Amethyst says as she shape-shifts so that her eyes are gone. "How 'bout this? How'd I look?"
" . . . I can't see."
"Oh right."
Kanaya knows that Pearl doesn't actually like Trolls, but she appreciates that Pearl is acting like she does.
"How many clues have we gone through?" Kanaya asks as the stand high above the ground on the Sky Arena.
"41," Pearl says. "I didn't think that this game would be so long."
"And I never thought I'd be standing on a Sky Arena and not be fighting a Gem," Kanaya realizes her mistake instantly and quickly tries to apologize, "I'm sorry, human sarcasm is infectious and I apologize if I-"
"I understand," Pearl cuts Kanaya off, and doesn't say anything else.
It's silent as Pearl tries to decipher the note Steven left her, so Kanaya decides to, for once, take a note from Dave and fill the empty space with awkward rambling to try to get Pearl to listen.
"I know you probably don't think it, but I am truly glad that we aren't fighting. I know Karkat said we were all done fighting, but we never really wanted to fight in the first place. We didn't want to spend our whole lives in servitude to HIC wondering if this was the greatest thing we'd be able to achieve. I never want to fight. And I'm gracious that you've all taken us in, but you need to understand that, that we never wanted what HIC planned. I know I'm rambling but it is true-"
"I understand," Pearl cuts her off. "But is going to take a bit more than all of your words to get me off my guard. But, shall we had to the next clue?"
Garnet's glad she was paired with Vriska, mainly because if there was a threat the trolls to be posed to the Gems and humanity, Vriska would be the one to issue it. She was brash, full-of-herself, miserly, cruel, powerful, and worst of all, she could put her money where her mouth is. Which is why Garnet has taken this chance to show Vriska who the boss is.
Or at least scare the hell out of her.
Which is what she was doing.
Vriska was left at the sideline, mouth open as Garnet punched a very large gem monster and brought it down with just one punch.
Garnet catches the gemstone out of thin air and bubbles it before she lands. Vriska is still staring at Garnet, so Garnet walks over and rustles the hair between Vriska's horns, saying, "And that's why I'm the boss."
Garnet continues to walk, knowing that Vriska would soon follow along and make a fuss, but between the two of them . . .
Garnet has much more irons in the fire, and does a much better job handling them as well.
"This is much better," Karkat sighs as he leans back into Steven's bed. They'd finally made it back to Steven's house and Peridot just turned on Camp Pining Hearts.
"I agree," Peridot says with a smile. "This is a much better use of our time."
"Oh, fuck yeah it is."
Lapis doesn't care about the scavenger hunt at all.
Not one shit, as Karkat would probably say.
Aradia is more invested in the hunt, because of some type of rivalry with Vriska, but as they got deeper into the clues that lead them to new places across the globe, she seemed more interested in sight-seeing than clue-finding.
Lapis found a quick mutual agreement with Aradia, but somehow it did spurn into friendship. Lapis had always meant to explore the Earth some more now that she's trapped here, and Aradia turned made something akin to an exile into an adventure, and Lapis appreciates that.
"We're going to do this more even after the game, right?" Lapis questions as they look at some big heads humans made.
"Explore?" Aradia questions.
"Yeah."
"Uh, hell yes! This is the most fun I've had in a long time!" Aradia exclaims as she flashes a slightly creepy smile, but this one seems more genuine than the other times she's flashed it.
"Me too," Lapis agrees. She knows that she probably doesn't look like it, but she is very excited for any adventures the future may hold.
If they were actually doing any law-upholding, Amethyst would make a good bad cop. She's more wild and reckless than Terezi ever could be which does force Terezi into more of a just position as a troll cop.
"I cannot believe that you got that note by punting a salamander at it," Terezi gasps. John had stuck his note up at an impossible height on his hive, and Amethyst came up with a unique solution.
"That's how we do," Amethyst replies as she jumps up to grab the note out of thin air.
"I absolutely hate the idea of my sight returning to me so I could be able to see again, but I wish regained my sight for five second so I could watch you fucking obliterate that Salamander."
"I wish you saw how epic that was too."
Once everyone (excluding Karkat and Peridot, who had mysteriously disappeared in the first half of the game) had gotten to their final three clues, the spectators packed up shop on the battleship and headed to the finish line in the middle of the desert.
When they get there, they all find Dave talking to Lion.
"Have you been here?" Jane questions. "The whole time?"
"Talking to Lion?" Dave finishes. "Yeah."
"In the middle of the desert?" Jane continues to question.
"Reminds me of Texas."
Jane doesn't get a chance to continue to question Dave's logic when Steven spots some specks kicking up sand in the distance, "Guys! I think I see everyone!"
"Does anyone have any binoculars?" Jade questions.
No one answers.
"And Dave, where's the prize?" Roxy continues on, ignoring how bad their prepping is.
"Just wait and see," Dave replies.
"You aren't giving away Lion, are you?" Steven questions.
"Nah, this is your cat," Dave says. "I'm giving away the greatest gift of all."
"Money?" John questions.
"No."
"Political power?" Jane asks.
"No."
"A VIP party at Chuck E. Cheeses?" Dirk suggests.
"No."
"Well drawn erotica?" Rose says.
"Rose NO."
"Wha-" Steven begins to ask, but Jane puts her hand over Steven's mouth.
"You don't want to know," Jane insists.
"Y'know, I can see everyone now!" Jake announces. "I think they're having a scuffle! Trading fisticuffs and all that!"
"They're fighting?" Steven asks, worriedly. He squints into the distance to watch the fighting . . . but it's between the final four teams, not between species. "Whew, I was worried that this was a serious fight."
"I guess Karkat was right about the possibility of him dying," John realizes.
"And they're all in a dead heat!" Jake exclaims.
The spectators watch as weapons clashes and punches are thrown, but it seems like over the long, long course of the participants reaching the finish line, most of that animosity is being aimed towards Vriska.
Eventually, Garnet, just picks up Vriska (against her extremely loud protests, that can be heard of the general rough-housing) and tosses her through the finish line. Steven and the Kids have to scatter as Vriska lands face first into the sand and Garnet jumps across the finish line second. Vriska yells something into the sand but it gets muffled on account of the fact that her mouth is filled with sand, but Garnet simply states, "I win."
"Congratulations!" Steven recovers from the shocking finish to give praise where praise is due.
The others finally cross the finish line with much complaint.
"I feel like being thrown across the finish line is cheating," Lapis points out.
"I agree," Terezi chimes in. "And cheaters must be punished!"
"You're all just salty that you didn't think of it first," Garnet comments, which shuts everyone else up.
"I'm fine with the throwing thing," Steven says. "But you and Vriska won!"
"Boo!" Terezi says. Aradia joins in with the addendum, "This is towards Vriska, not you Garnet."
"Now, now, they won fair and square," Steven jokes, and everyone groans, which also gives everyone something else to complain about.
Vriska pulls herself out of the sand, and as she dusts herself off she spits out the sand and claims, "Hahahahahahahaha! That's right fuckers I won! Now where's my fucking prize!"
Everyone turns to Dave.
"The prize?" Dave questions.
"Yes!" Vriska replies.
"The true prize," Dave slowly reveals. "Is the friends you made along the way."
The Gems and Trolls look between each other, confused and a bit outraged, but no one is more upset by this than Vriska.
"FRIENDSHIP!" Vriska screams, sand still falling out of her mouth. "THE PRIZE IS FUCKING FRIENDSHIP!"
"There's no great prize than that," Dave insists.
"YES THERE IS, LIKE GOLD OR ANCIENT ARTIFACTS, STUFF THAT'S ACTUALLY VALUABLE!" Vriska yells at Dave. Terezi starts to take a step towards her to calm her down, but Vriska takes a deep breath and visibly looks chill. She takes another deep breath and turns towards Dave, "You know what Dave?"
"What?" Dave nonchalantly responds.
"I am going to fuCKING KILL YOU! AHHHHHHHH!" Vriska shouts and starts to run after Dave. Dave jumps up in fright and starts to run, because apparently this is a very real threat. Vriska starts to chase Dave around the desert, screaming the whole time. Dave seems to be screaming as well, but it's monotone compared to Vriska's screeches.
"Uh . . . should we do something?" Pearl asks Kanaya.
"This has happened before, do not worry," Kanaya insists. "Like the time Dave made Vriska go bankrupt in Monopoly."
"Or when we played Risk and he took over Australia," Terezi adds.
"And when we played Candyland and the first card Dave drew was Queen Frostine and he was near the end while she had to go backwards," Kanaya continues.
"Yeah," Terezi sighs. "We really should've learned from those FLARP sessions and never play any games with Vriska."
Steven return home, after a long day of watching other people scavenge, to find Karkat and Peridot up in his loft. They don't even look over as Steven enters, their gazes glued to the television as Camp Pining Hearts plays.
"Have you two really been here the whole time?!" Steven exclaims.
Karkat glances over, but then turns back to the TV, "Yeah. Pretty much."
ill be honest im kinda excited to finish up the next chapter bc ive had a lot of incoherent tidbits that i need to put together but idfk when that will be out
next time: LEHS PLAH SOMM (base) BAWL.