Sloth: Um... hi. Long time no see. Here would be a wonderful time to tell about my excuses, but I won't, mainly because I'm sure it's nothing really important to be shared upon with (CURSE YOU, ART PROJECTS!)
Here we go again though! Let me bring you chapter 14 to make you feel much better about the long wait (because I know some people who have actually bothered me about this during my hiatus). May it be a somewhat of a pleasure. I hope. I don't know- you tell me later.
I think that's it I have to talk about, but thanks again for the wait, and I hope you'll like it!
Happy Reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Queen, Gackt, Styx, Apple, or any of these characters from YGO 5D's, but that's okay.
Title: Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Chapter fourteen: Play The Game
Truly it was such a shame that Jack's phone wasn't working otherwise he could have contacted Carly to meet with him after school. When he realized that his phone's battery had died as Jack entered the high school, he had to thoroughly search the rowdy crowds and noisy hallways for Carly. He had decided the night before that on that Monday afternoon he would officially break off his relationship with the petite journalist, but Jack couldn't seem to find her at all. He himself wasn't particularly too fond of breaking her heart considering the times they have been through together, but when it boiled down to his true feelings, Jack knew he had to in order to be with the one he truly loved- Yusei. All the while he roamed the hallways to find her, Jack did feel guilty on Carly's half. It was going to be difficult despite his change in interests.
That's why it must be done, the tall blonde thought as he walked down the empty hallway. He sighed at the mere thought of Carly becoming heartbroken. Yes, he knew it was for the better, but it was Carly he was going to hurt. Should it had been just any other regular girl, Jack would instantly break up with a simple text, however, it was Carly, the girl who basically helped and understood him early in freshman year where no one could. All of what she did for him was pure and full of tender love, so it would be unfortunate that Jack would have to put it to the end at least on the romantic terms.
Lost in his thoughts, Jack stared into a window and saw his reflection. Not only did it reflect him but it also reflected his best friend. He spun around to meet Yusei and watched the raven stare back at him, eyes somewhat half-empty. "Yusei..." Jack inhaled.
Yusei, as if he couldn't handle looking at the boy before him, fixed his gaze onto the floor. He mumbled silently, "Hello Jack."
Jack noticed the folders in Yusei's hand. "Are you going to your Mileage club?" he asked, trying to start a conversation.
Yusei shook his head and looked into Jack's amethyst eyes. "No. It's for the next GSA meeting. I need to print out sign-up sheets for Day of Silence, and I might need to print out some more speaking cards."
Interested, Jack offered, "I could help you prepare for it if you like, Yusei."
"Thanks but no thanks. I can handle this on my own. Besides, you have your problems to take care of," the raven teen coldly and bitterly replied.
Uncomfortable from the tone of his voice, Jack silently stood in his place, meeting eye to eye with Yusei who was probably waiting for a response. It went on like this until the darker male sighed.
"If you're just standing there and doing nothing," Yusei began, "then I'm probably distracting you from your necessities again." Cutting the conversation short, he started to walk away.
Jack retorted rather angrily, "If you had accepted my offer, I would have something to do."
Without bothering to turn around, Yusei continued to walk and rejoined, "You know what I'm talking about, Jack. Figure out your situation with Carly."
"I am! I just can't find her!"
"Look harder."
"Yusei! I don't- I don't know where she is! If I did, trust me, I wouldn't have run into you-" Jack shut his mouth. He mentally slapped himself for sounding as though he was insulting Yusei when he had caught sight of the raven tense up and stop. "Yusei, I didn't mean it to sound like that. I meant that if I had known where she was, we wouldn't be having this quarrel."
Yusei, having stopped in his tracks, spun his head around to see the upset mask Jack wore. As a reaction to the painful sight, Yusei melancholy smiled, "It's fine. Just... Good luck finding her then." He continued to walk and much to his content, Jack didn't stop him. Yusei was relieved that he didn't since he really didn't want to converse with Jack when his heart still ached from the weekend. He wasn't ready for another pain to be thrown at him.
Letting him go, Jack, in a mix of choler and sadness, walked to the opposite side of the hallway from Yusei's direction, stomping each step with the heavy emotion determining his actions. Without a doubt, Yusei was more than likely trying to avoid him again, only this time it had a clearer reason as to why he was doing so. It hurt Jack even more since he actually was aware of the reason and was himself the main source. It also didn't help that his feelings for Yusei caused him to ache.
In the end, Jack gave up searching for his "girlfriend" and drove back to Martha's. He found Crow singing along to some artist (which Jack personally distasted) while writing an essay of some sort. With a thud, the older male placed his book bag onto the bed and pulled out his Calculus textbook, but he found himself not able to focus on any homework when he kept thinking about Yusei and his somewhat of a cold rejection. Crow's singing was bothersome and distracting as well, and to solve the small problem, Jack walked over to his desk and shut off his CD player.
Annoyed by what Jack just did, Crow barked, "What was that for?!"
"It's keeping me from working, so I turned it off. Plus, Gackt's not really my taste," the blonde smirked, working on his homework successfully. "At least play something else that I won't mind. Styx. Styx would be fine."
Un-amused Crow watched him work. He argued, "Well I'm sor-ry you don't like my music. If you don't want to listen to what I want to hear right now, then listen to your iPod."
"I can't," Jack muttered, not bothering to look up from his math.
Crow raised an eyebrow. "'Can't'? Why not?"
"I left both of my phone's and iPod's chargers at home..."
"Oh... " Crow frowned. It wasn't Jack's fault that he had forgotten them, so this wasn't a time to exactly have a small dispute with the other male. Crow sat there, wondering how Jack could possibly retrieve them back. With a solution, he pushed himself away from his desk and stood up. "Tell me where they are exactly," Crow directed as he walked over to the door.
"I assume you're getting them for me?" Jack wryly smiled.
"It's not like you'll be getting them for yourself anytime soon, so I might as well. Plus I'm not in the mood to write a long-ass essay for Zoology," the ginger explained.
"True," Jack agreed considering the fact that he honestly had no desire to return to his home. "They're in my bedroom. No doubt the phone charger is still plugged in, and the iPod charger's going to be in one of my dressing drawers."
Crow twisted the doorknob. "Lovely. Go ahead put Styx while I'm gone," he allowed, stepping out of the room.
"Yusei."
Yusei closed his novel and sat up from his laying position on his bed. He saw his father peering out of the small crack of the door, and as a reaction, he smiled warmly.
"May I come in?" His father asked, opening the door just a tiny bit.
"Yeah," Yusei answered and motioned for him to come into his room. His father closed the door behind him and sat down on his bed, next to Yusei. After Hakase drew out a long sigh, Yusei inquired, "What is it?"
His father began, "You have been acting strange lately. You would come home and lock yourself in here all day. It's starting to worry us, Yusei."
The raven sadly looked up toward the ceiling. How am I going to explain my situation? "I guess I have been acting strange, haven't I? I didn't mean to make you and mom worry," he faltered.
"It is making us worry about you. You haven't even worked in the garage in the past couple of days, and you seem so miserable whenever you come out of your room. In fact you haven't been this miserable since..."
Yusei swallowed thickly, having a clue to what his father was referring to. "...since the time I was about to come out?" He asked with the answer in his mind.
Hakase nodded and gave a warm smile. "Yes. It's not as bad as to that sadness, but this unhappiness is engulfing you almost drastically. You're not yourself, so it must be something close to the same level."
"It's nothing, dad," Yusei fibbed, his mind on the two nights ago. With the rush of memories returning, the raven hugged his knees close to his chest.
"It is not 'nothing', "his father corrected him, "It's bothering you, whatever it is. You know that... Would you please talk to me about it?"
Yusei hesitated, "I don't know.. It's, um..." He sighed harshly and barely made eye contact with his father. "I don't know."
"Talking about it might ease the pain."
Lying on his side, Yusei sighed, admitting defeat, "Have you ever felt as though you wanted something so badly but you feared that if you did go after, you might cause some hurt onto others?"
Grinning, Hakase answered ,"Well sure I do. I often get that feeling whenever I'm working. We have to be very careful with the Energy Reactors since any mistake can bring the downfall of-"
"Dad, no. That's not what I was talking about," Yusei interrupted him, "That's not at all what I meant. I should have been clearer- Have you ever ... liked someone enough to want to be with but felt really horrible that you were a source of pain of their troubles?"
Sadly shaking his head, Hakase replied, "I'm afraid I have not, however, do you feel like that with someone, Yusei?"
Yusei, blushing, rolled to his to his other side, back facing his father in hopes of hiding his creeping red flush and also to cut the eye contact completely. I can't look at him, the raven thought. "Yes... unfortunately..." his voice barely was audible.
"May I ask who it is?"
This is embarrassing. "Do I have to say?"
His father laughed, "I am curious now. It's not every day you hear your son talk about love. Now, Yusei, mind telling me who it is?"
"Um... t-take a guess..." Yusei buried his head into his arms.
"... Is it Jack?"
Heart stopping at the mere mention of his name, Yusei wore a down casted face. He softly confirmed inaudibly, "Yes... It is." Yusei began to tremble. "It is Jack."
Smiling bitter sweetly, Hakase patted his son's shoulder, hoping to capture his attention. "Yusei. Face towards me, please."
"I don't want to," Yusei whimpered.
"Yusei, please," he inched closer to Yusei and laughed, "It's nothing to embarrassed about. Jack's... well, Jack is a good boy, and he does make you most happy- in fact, too happy, if I can state my opinion."
"He also makes me so incredibly sad," the raven squeaked, curling himself into a ball as a response to his pain. He bit his bottom lip when he realized that tears were starting to collect at the rims of his eyes. Yusei couldn't afford to break into tears even if his own body had already betrayed him as he shook excessively.
Sensing Yusei's change of emotion, Hakase frowned, "Yusei... what happened? What did Jack do to make you feel like this?"
Grasping onto any of his present clear thoughts, Yusei inhaled a deep breath and tried as he can to explain his scenario, body still facing away from his father. "Jack... Oh god... I- I am more than grateful that he and I had rebuilt our friendship. Truly I am, but I was scared that this would happen. I was scared that I would come to like him this much that should anything had happened, I would be in such... unbearable pain, and we're both hurting..."
"'Both'? What do you mean by 'both'?"
Yusei scrambled from his position and sat up, repairing their broken eye contact. He explained painfully without breaking his eyes away from his father's dark orbs, "Before I can explain what I mean, I do need to tell you something that I never had the courage to explain years back. Years back I first liked Jack, um, after I discovered my identity. I liked him a lot, dad, but I didn't want to lose our friendship if he found out my feelings, so I did a really stupid decision. I used his own words against him to create an argument between us, using his small homophobic remark as an end point to our friendship-"
"Now why would you do that? Was it necessary for you two to stop being friends instead of talking this out more calmly and thoroughly?"
"I don't know why I did that anymore. I regret it, and I wish I could take it back. I wish I could have thought of a better and more reasonable decision, dad. I was scared of rejection and abandonment, and for whatever, I thought I could have prevented it by doing it first. I should have gotten rid of my feelings for him sooner than to have done that." Yusei hissed in remembering that school day. "I was a fool. I needed Jack afterwards. I needed him to be there to comfort with me when I was ready to come out... but I guess I wasn't ready for his response to how gay I am. I wasn't ready at all for anyone to know."
Hakase pulled his son into his arms and faintly smiled as his only son tightly grasped onto his lab coat, "It was all of a sudden. You have to remember how clueless we were felt when you came out, Yusei. You never showed interest in anyone, nor did you ever show any of the stereotypical signs of being gay, so we never guessed. Of course you are above average among the other boys your age, but when your intelligence and handsomeness was painfully obvious, I assumed eventually a girl would be one of your interests. It just never occurred to us that, well, it would be boys."
Yusei revealed, "I was also terrified with you two too! I was terrified with everyone! Jack was the last person I wanted to know his response. Crow, oh, I couldn't tell him since he was also homophobic at the time. Kiryu wanted me to get out of the closet, but I wasn't ready, and when I needed him, he evaded me. I live with you two. If you guys didn't like the whole of idea of me being gay, I didn't know what you could have done with me..." From both of his cobalt eyes, tears streamed down his tanned cheeks and into his father's coat. "I didn't know what to do. I felt so alone, dad."
"Don't cry. It's in the past, right? I know it hurts, but look at your current position. It's better than the past, isn't it?" Hakase soon regretted his choice of words as soon as Yusei wrapped his arms around him tightly. He sighed, "Maybe not now at your current position, but no one you love has rejected you for your sexuality, have they?"
"No..."
"See? It's better, isn't it?" He petted Yusei's fine, soft hair to comfort him. "Even though it was a shock to us, we still love you. We can never hate you for something like that. It's not a bad thing to be gay."
"Then why," Yusei emotionlessly demanded, "Why did Jack get turned away?"
His father stopped, pulling away, and examined Yusei's sad expression, reading the dread in his eyes. "Yusei? Yusei, what do you mean?"
Braving the pain that was conquering his whole mind, Yusei elaborated, "Before I fell back in love with him, Jack... I don't know when, was becoming aware of his own identity, and... He developed feelings for me. I know that sounds like a wonderful miracle. It should be, but it costed him his home. His dad kicked him out, and I'm scared what would happen if the school body found out. Homophobia is never kind," Yusei hugged himself from his last comment.
"Yusei, that's terrible! How could Mr. Goodwin do that to his own son? That's- that's immorally wrong! That's a horribly ridiculous thing to do to a child!" Hakase sputtered with gravity. "No parent should ever do that to their child! We parents are supposed to be there for our children, not abandoned them when they need us! Where's Jack?! Tell me he's safe, please."
"He's staying at Martha's. Jack is still going through a state of shock of his own, I think, but the last time I saw him..." Yusei groaned once the memory of the same afternoon returned to him.
"Yusei?"
"I casted him away. I was cold to him," the raven continued, making sure to explain thoroughly before Hakase would speak up, "I'm heartbroken that I am the cause of his pain, the reason why he's homeless and very hurt, but I'm even more upset that Jack ki- I'm upset of what he did to me when he's still in a relationship with Carly. I couldn't handle it anymore that I left him upset. He was so upset, and I couldn't think clearly anymore. I wish he at least could've waited after he broke up with her, but then again..." He dropped his head," He should stay with her since I am responsible for their dying relationship. That's my fault too. Had I not had talked to Jack-"
"Oh come now. You and Jack were bound to befriend each other eventually, so it's not an error for you to have talked to him again. It's far from a fault," Hakase assured. Studying Yusei's exposed guilt, he argued, "It isn't your fault, Yusei, that Jack is hurting. It's not. You didn't do anything to cause all the wrong factors to happen. He had ill-fortune, that's all. Neither of you predicted all of these events would occur, so really it was no one's fault. As from what you tell me about Jack, he isn't the type who would blame all of his bad luck on you. Jack wouldn't think you were the one to blame, especially since he's your best friend and if he really does like you as you said.
"On that note, Jack could be actually hurting more because even after all the things he was willing to lose, he would be losing someone important to him. Perhaps that is why he was upset, as you say."
"But he has Carly-"
"It isn't her he wants, Yusei."
Yusei raised his head and breathed, "What should I do now? Play the game of love?"
Lifting himself off his son's bed, Hakase answered as he stood by the door way, "Do what you think is best for you. If you still like him, and he breaks up with Carly, then something can happen. It's your decision, Yusei."
"I need to think about this through then," he replied.
"Yusei."
"Yes, dad?"
His father beamed, "You don't look too sad as you did before. I'm glad. Come down for dinner soon."
Watching his father exit, Yusei smiled softly. His father was correct- Yusei did feel less miserable after the chat.
"You will not believe the things I had to go through to get your crap," Crow grumbled as he handed Jack both of his chargers. He sank to the floor and stared at the bright light bulb on the ceiling's surface. "I was reminded why I'm not a huge fan of clowns.."
Plugging his phone charger to the nearest outlet, Jack laughed, "Did you run into Lazar?"
"Almost did. I was in your room looking for your phone's charger when I heard footsteps, and I hid in the closet. How funny is that? Anyway, I heard your old man and him talking. The longer they talked, the louder Lazar's voice became. Judging by his shadows, he was really close to find me. And don't get me started on how long he was in the room after Goodwin left. It should be illegal for someone who doesn't live in the room to stay for over an hour," the small redhead retorted.
"I wonder why he was in my room," Jack thought aloud. I don't see the point if I'm no longer there...
Crow frowned as he tried to remember the conversation between the two males he had heard. He knew that there was something worth knowing that was discussed beyond the closet doors. His frowned deepened. I should've listened closely, Crow thought trying to remember clearly. What were they talking about? Hiding in the closet, he could only hear muffled voices and broken conversations. Out all the disoriented words, he could only pick up a name. What was it?
"Can't remember it..."
The blonde stopped composing his text and stared at Crow. "Remember what?"
"I don't know," Crow yawned, taking his seat at his desk. "It was something they said that bothers me, but... I just can't remember it. It had to do something with you."
Jack snorted and continued to text. He curtly replied, "It's no surprise that you'd forget, but whatever. I don't even want to know if it's from him."
"It might be important, Jack," he offered. "It might explain some reasons behind his action."
"I don't care! If's it has got to do with that bastard, I don't want to know!"
Biting his tongue, Crow growled, "You know what? Just forget it! I was actually to tell you about it, but it has nothing to do with me, so why should I care?!" Having said this, Crow increased its volume of the CD player it to its max, "Blue Collar Man" blaring into both of their eardrums.
"CROW, YOU IDIOT! VOLUME IT DOWN!"
"CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Crow screeched while plugging his bass-y headphones into the CD player's port.
The blonde rolled his eyes and read over his text message:
[Carly, we need to talk. There's something I need to confess. Whenever you are free, tell me. Please.]
Without any second thoughts, Jack pressed the send button.
Unsure of what could be on Jack's mind, Carly had replied to the text shortly the night before that she was completely free after school on the following Wednesday. The text worried her, and for the nights before the meeting day, she wondered what possible confession Jack was planning to reveal. All sorts of ideas fogged her mind, but she pushed them aside when the day came. There was no need to worry about it until she heard it at last from Jack, whatever it was.
As planned she found Jack waiting for her at the balcony above the performing art center. A small, blissful smile sprouted on her lips. Jack was magnificence under the light that seeped through the glass roof. His eyes of gems radiated, and his natural, confident pose leaning against the rails made her heart race. Carly felt lucky to have someone like Jack to be by her side when she needed him. It would soon be a year since they had gotten together. She smiled at the thought. A happy year together.
Carly stood next to Jack, waiting for him to start. She noticed up close that he seemed... sad.
Before Carly had a chance to think about it, Jack greeted her, "Hello, Carly. How has your day been so far?"
"Oh! It was wonderful! Today in Journalism, they let me work on a better part of the newspaper," the petite revealed with excitement.
"So no more controversial topics?"
"Nope! No more! I get to do the sports section now for this spring issue!" Carly giggled happily. "Maybe next year I can write articles about you for senior year basketball!"
Jack sighed, "Right. Senior year."
He glanced at the floor underneath them and saw no one sitting on the metal benches or anyone walking around. Satisfied with the result, Jack returned his gaze onto Carly who was patiently waiting for his next response. He semi-scowled at he was about to do, but he knew that it has to happen. For Yusei.
"So, um," Carly started, nervously dragging the balls of her feet on the green carpet, "What was it that you wanted to talk about?"
Here we go. Look into her eyes, Atlas. Be confident. It's all yours now.
Clearing his throat, the tall blonde began, "Carly, it's almost incredulous to believe we've known each other for two years already. Two wonderful years to know each other."
"It can't be that incredulous! I mean, we were paired up for most of the year in biology, right?" she laughed. "I guess I do see your point on how time seems to fly by. We're almost going to have the last school year together after all."
"Almost."
Carly blushed and simpered, "Not to mention we've almost had one year being together."
When Jack saw that she was reaching for his hand to hold, he shook his head which puzzled Carly. He continued, "As I said, it has been truly wonderful that we met. In fact, you have done so much for me when I needed someone to stand by my side. You were there for me when I was completel ignorant and arrogant. Actually, you helped me open my eyes and appreciate the things around when I was clearly upset back in freshman year. I thank you for that."
"Well it was nothing really. I just wanted to get to know you, and things that just turned out the way it did."
Just like you rehearsed it.
"You did so much for me, Carly. So much. I want to thank you for being a great friend of mine for all those years and for being my girlfriend, but I see you more of the friendship side now than the romantic aspect."
Upon hearing the words, Carly froze. She tried to understand what he had said to her, however, she struggled to accept his words. Oh no no no. Carly cupped her hand to her mouth and shook her head. She hesitated, afraid of her voice already becoming frail, "What- what do you mean?"
Feeling awkward with a twinge of guilt, Jack sheepishly tried again, "What I mean is that I don't have feelings for you anymore. I think we should break up, Carly."
Carly stepped back as she emitted soft, stifled sobs. "Did- did I do something wrong?"
He shook his head. "No. No, it wasn't you," Jack explained. "It's really only me who's at fault here."
"I don't understand. If I didn't do anything..." Carly choked through her sobs before she fell onto her knees.
What to do, Jack sighed. He awkwardly kneeled down next to her and tried to soothe her sadness, "Carly, it's going to be okay. You'll see."
"Jack... why?" she dared not look at him while she was falling apart. "What made you feel like this?"
"Carly, I just... fell out."
"'Fell out'? How? Was I not loyal enough, or was I becoming annoying to you?"
"No no no. It's nothing to do with you," Jack assured.
Stifling her sobs, Carly sadly gazed at him. "Was it how I feel about gay people?" she inquired. She watched Jack stand up, causing her eyes to widen at realization and her to stand up as well. "It was that, wasn't it?!"
Jack defended himself, "I forgot about that. No. It wasn't that."
"It was my homophobia!" She burst into her sobs again. "I hurt you for being inconsiderate and for hurting your friends. I should've kept my mouth shut. I'm sorry, Jack! I'm so sorry!"
By now Jack had given up on consoling her and was impatient. "Carly- forget it! Just forget it. It doesn't even matter."
"But it hurt you! Don't lie to me! It hurt you!"
"Of course it hurt me, especially since I was discovering my own bisexuality at the time!" With those words escaping his mouth, Jack at first regretted them but then laughed hopelessly when he caught the confusion on her face. He stared a hole into her eyes. "Do you think less of me now? Do you now agree we should break up?"
Although the confusion was vivid, Carly softly answered back, "I... I still love you, Jack." She bit her bottom lip, pausing to choose her words wisely. "I'm sorry... I never knew. You never told me either- I mean, I understand why you wouldn't, but... I still love you."
"Carly, I don't-"
"I accept you," she sighed like those three words drained her spirit. "Just Jack, don't go." She clung onto him desperately, not wanting him to leave.
Jack stared at her and sighed, shaking his head, "You don't accept the others, and please don't say you do now just because of me. At least now open your eyes that some of your choice of words is hurtful. I know you love me, but my feelings have changed. Carly, I can't stay in a relationship if I'm not in love."
Giving up Carly let go of Jack and walked towards the stairs. She gave one last look at him, knowing that she was hoping him to change his mind, but when Jack turned his back on her, Carly suppressed her sobs and descended the stairs. There was nothing to for her to do now at the moment. She couldn't cry about this to Jack because of the obvious reasons, and she will no talk to him for a long time until she was ready to accept that she was only his friend. Her heart shattered at thought. He was her joy and the one she could rely on, but now it was clear. It's over. Carly at last exited the performing art center and retreated to the opposite side of the building.
Having watched her go, Jack scowled , "Is there anyone this past week who I didn't made them upset?"
Sloth: I only mentioned the song title once in the chapter, but really when I wrote this chapter, I didn't see any need to actually incorporate it's lyrics considering the song would perfectly mostly work as a reference. I like my choice actually. I really do. I do.
I really enjoyed writing this chapter even if I had to do re-write a scene, but I like I what I did. I especially did like with the Fudos' moment. It was nice to write a father and son conversation. Hopefully now Yusei will do something. We'll see.
Mkay, so to be honest, I had some little moments of struggling with writing the last scene. I kept thinking "What would Jack do?", and then for the worst, I started to wonder "Why do people even read this?" I can go on about my many sloth rambles and philosophies, but let me spare from that. Just really want to say: Thank you for still being here despite the wait. Still means a lot to me. Always forevermore~
I'm looking forward for the next chapter! So excited (and I'm hoping to update sooner too)! So yeah! Thanks you guys!
Oh what a nice day today was (if you know what I mean).
Reviews feeds the sloth's soul.
-Sloth