Chapter Fourteen

Flopping down onto his own bed felt like a slice of paradise for Makoto. The journey from Sousuke's place seemed to be one littered with little annoyance – loud music blaring, standing on gum and getting his shoe stuck on it, people on the metro who smelt unpleasantly of body odour and just the throbbing in his own head. It was better since Sousuke had handed over water and pills but Makoto knew a day of rest and recuperation was what he needed to get over the drinking and the tattooing. And the almost sex with Sousuke.

He thought he'd get peace and quiet, he'd already texted Nagisa to say he was sick and to inform management, unable to do it himself and he was missing some lectures but he emailed his professors briefly from his phone to explain his absence. Haru had only looked up from some books and his laptop when he'd arrived home and raised an eyebrow to which Makoto had shook his head, grunted and walked towards his own room, dropping onto his bed with a dull "thud".

Makoto soon realised he'd made an error in texting Nagisa as he was just starting to fall asleep when his phone starting buzzing, Makoto very confused about the interruption. The volume of Nagisa's voice had seemed ridiculously loud and Makoto only picked up on every other word out of Nagisa's lips but Makoto did figure out the important part of the conversation - that he and Rei were coming over and even Makoto's half-hearted mumbles were not enough to stop Nagisa's determination.

It meant as much as Makoto wanted to avoid being a human being and wanted to evaporate into the mattress, he couldn't and so instead he reluctantly rolled out of bed and made his way to the shower, his eyes barely open as he undressed. For a while he'd forgotten about the tattoo, sleep and exhaustion making him forget the need to scratch at the tattoo covered by plastic wrap but suddenly he was confronted with it again, looking at it cautiously.

He knew it was unlikely to be seen by many people - he didn't swim often anymore but he did wonder what his parents would think about his Tokyo corruption. He could almost hear the sound of the twins asking about it, poking at it and he was sure it would be impossible to hide. It now seemed a dumbass idea when he was confronted with it in the bright harsh light of the bathroom as he gently peeled off the tape and plastic wrap - the traces of blood on his skin and clear material. He knew he shouldn't get it wet but he did poke at it with his fingers, the skin feeling tender where it had been inked.

Makoto looked at himself in the mirror, seeing his face that looked exhausted and ashen after his alcohol fuelled evening and his eyes were drawn to the tattoo. A scant few weeks ago, Makoto had been struggling through his life in Tokyo but he'd been getting by and finding his feet and since Sousuke had walked in, he'd not been acting like "him" at all.

Ruffling his hair, Makoto got the shower water as hot as he could stand it, the reassuring heat making his skin burn as he let the water wash over him, cleaning and cleansing his sweaty sticky skin. He cleaned himself thoroughly, washing over the tattoo and feeling a sting from the hot water and he stepped out when he couldn't justify staying in any longer, towel drying his body and hair and remembering the image of Sousuke doing the same. The image of tattooed wet Sousuke was one that made a spark of lust spike in Makoto's stomach but he ignored it as in the cold harsh light of his own environment, Makoto felt… Unsure.

Sousuke gave mixed signals. Lingering touches, hot rough passionate kisses, a key to his damn apartment but he also backed off and walked away, leaving Makoto frustrated and confused. It wasn't enough. None of it was. He knew so little about Sousuke - not his home town, not his full name and Makoto needed something more concrete. Something to hold onto as otherwise he was screwing up his life for some guy who was interested in fucking him and fucking him around and nothing more.

Deciding to do the same as he'd seen Rin do, Makoto walked to the kitchen for plastic wrap, Haru looking up confused but not asking as he walked back to his room to cover it up and dress. He wanted more time alone to mope and feel sorry for himself, debate about how stupid and in some kinda head rush he was when it came to Sousuke but it didn't happen as he could hear insistent knocking and he didn't want to leave Haru to deal with Nagisa.

There was the smell of food – something fried and only sympathy for Haru dealing with someone who was overly excitable and the potential of something to fill his still rolling stomach did Makoto decide it was worth the effort of leaving his bedroom.

Nagisa was the expected whirlwind but fortunately the process of unpacking a ridiculous amount of food was distraction enough for the diminutive blond and it gave Makoto time to take a breath, helping Haru get drinks and some bowls for them to share out the food into.

"Makoto…?" Haru asked, his voice low and quiet, as he seemed to notice Makoto's behaviour, maybe the wince as he stretched to the higher shelf than Haru could reach.

"It's nothing," he replied and Haru only nodded and walked back over to where Rei and Nagisa were getting out the various containers, laying them out on the coffee table, Haru's work discarded onto the floor.,

Makoto carried glasses of water, balancing them in his hands carefully and placing them down as the food began to be shared – steaming bowls of broth, rice, vegetables and various meats deep fried in tempura batter. It smelled and looked amazing and Makoto was suddenly very aware he'd not eaten breakfast and he was definitely hungry. His stomach even growled in sympathy.

Thankfully, food did provide some distraction and Nagisa only started interrogating Makoto once most of it had been devoured by four hungry young men.

"Where did you sleep last night?" Nagisa asked, his voice high and lilting, teasing.

Makoto shrugged and concentrated on a bit of fried pork that was in between in his chopsticks before trying to casually say what he had to say. "Sousuke's."

The gasp and loud almost celebration from Nagisa nearly made Makoto jump from the excited noise.

"Nothing happened," Makoto added, "I just slept there."

Nagisa didn't seem at all disappointed about that fact and the steady stream of words that Makoto barely listened to seemed to wash over him.

"… we could double date and we could go to some of the best restaurants… and he is such a good singer we can go to other karaoke bars…"

It was all too much for Makoto on a day when he was hung over and he excused himself to go to the bathroom, feeling relieved when he closed the door, leaning against it and taking a deep breath as he wasn't quite prepared for the sort of plans Nagisa seemed to have. As going on a double date had to mean that he and Sousuke were dating and Makoto wasn't sure it exactly was dating.

He banged on the door with his fist, louder than he intended and a moment later there was a gentle rapping on the door, a quiet whispered voice.

"It's me."

Obviously Haru had figured out Makoto had just been trying to escape Nagisa and his excitement so Makoto let him into the bathroom, the door being closed behind them so they were blessedly alone.

Haru didn't start talking or asking questions, only walked towards the tub and sat down on the edge, looking up then at Makoto expectantly as though he was waiting for Makoto to start to talk and explain his odd mood and actions. Makoto thought the best way to explain his actions was by lifting his t-shirt, the blue and white stripes moved up so he could reveal his abdominal muscles and the fresh tattoo.

"It's a star," Haru said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah."

He wondered if he wanted Haru to be shocked as the tattoo was something that Makoto wouldn't have done prior to meeting Sousuke. But Haru only stared at it through the plastic wrap.

"I got tattooed and I stayed at his place…" Makoto explained, his head tilting and he wondered how much to tell Haru. Haru hadn't had a relationship since they had lived together and Makoto hadn't either so he wasn't sure how much "sharing" about this sort of thing he should do. "He pulled away, Haru. Twice and I don't know anything about him and…"

Makoto had a lot he wanted to blurt out. About how he was unsure what the hell they were doing. How he was angry that Sousuke had backed off twice when they were about to get intimate. How he didn't tell Makoto anything about himself and how he hated it. He also had the damn key, the key on the surface of his bedside, sitting there and that said trust. A big amount of trust and Makoto made a noise low in his throat in frustration to stop himself from punching the door again.

"Do you like him?" Haru asked, boiling it down to the simplest point.

"I got a tattoo because of him… I think I like him."

"Then he's worth finding more about."

With his short "speech" done – or as much of an encouraging speech and conversation that Haru offered, he got up and Makoto let him leave the bathroom, staying in there for a little longer until he felt he could face Nagisa's excitement. He mulled over Haru's words, finding more about Sousuke, and an idea suddenly came to the forefront of his mind. Rin – Rin was too close to go asking about Sousuke and Makoto worried if he asked Sousuke's best friend things he was afraid to ask Sousuke, it would make him look like an idiot to Sousuke.

But there was somewhere else that Makoto had been with Sousuke that might help. That Makoto would be able to find out a little more about Sousuke without him finding out about his questioning. Suddenly with a plan, Makoto felt better – excited even, a palpable feeling in his stomach as he had something to do and some way of knowing more about Sousuke.

Leaving the bathroom with a determined stride, he walked back into the room, all eyes on him and Makoto sat back down, moving around the remains of his food in a bowl.

There seemed to be some questions that Nagisa wanted to ask but Rei had seemed to calm him down and they left after the food was gone, Makoto glad for the relief of being left alone with his quiet roommate.

"Do you have any plans for tonight, Haru?" Makoto asked as they started to clean the dishes and clear away the remains of their meal.

"No."

"Will you come with me to a club?"

Haru turned and looked at him with a puzzled expression and Makoto offered him a head tilt and a smile.

"Sousuke took me to a club where he sang with a band. People knew him there… I want to know why."

Haru seemed to be thinking it over as he dried a bowl carefully and Makoto kept glancing at him from the corner of his eye to see if he had agreed. Makoto knew he could go alone but visiting the red light district alone did seem intimidating. He wanted back up.

"I'll come with you," Haru said finally and Makoto let out a small breath of relief.

"Thank you, Haru."