Chapter Fourteen

Blasting music in her room, Rachel felt the gentle buzz of her phone and paused the song. She rested an elbow on a crossed knee and pressed send.

"Hello?"

"Hey Rachel," came Quinn's voice. "How have you been?"

"Good," Rachel hadn't seen her since school on Friday, and it was already Saturday, the hours in between the days was a long wait.

"Listen um...there's this party tonight, you wanna come? With me." Quinn seemed to hold her breath after that sentence. The fact that she had called and not texted wasn't unusual, Quinn loved to hear Rachel's voice, and Rachel loved to hear Quinn's, but the cadence of Quinn's voice, the breathlessness of it, showed she was pretty serious about this invitation.

Rachel stared at her laptop screen (which was resting on her lap) and frowned. She had just sent an email to Shelby confirming that she could go to the mall with her today, afterwards she was planning on coming over to LeRoy's house so she could meet Rachel's father, or at least, her adopted Dad.

The fact that Quinn seemed a bit nervous did not make Rachel's next words any easier. "I really want to Quinn, but the thing is, I-I already made plans with Shelby. I love you and I hate that this has to get in the way of the party but..."

"No it's okay," Sadness and disappointment evident in her awkward rhythm. "I don't want you to feel so much pressure, you should spend time with your mom, they'll be another party," Her voice turned warmer, "I love you,"

A thrill of warmth went through Rachel, and she couldn't help smiling, "I love you too."

As she pressed end, cold guilt touched her stomach, but she tried to shake it off. She needed to prepare herself for Shelby.

Un-pausing her music, she allowed her emotions to be carried away by the strong beat of the drum and clashing sound of guitar.

Shelby was as enthusiastic as ever to see Rachel. Rachel found it a little easier to return her smile. Instead of going to the restaurant for lunch though, Shelby pulled Rachel into her favorite clothing outlet.

"Shelby," Rachel said.

"I know its not what we agreed on."

Rachel didn't like unexpected changes, at least not from Shelby.

"Come on Rachel, I'm your mother. I want to do this for you, besides, their having a big sale." Shelby tugged on Rachel's arm, bringing her a little farther into the racks of sleek, designer blouses and jeans.

Rachel smiled at Shelby doubtfully, the items may have been on sale, but they were still priced a lot higher than what Rachel would normally spend on clothes.

Shelby pulled a dark green blouse off a hook and held it up to herself. "Don't I look great?" She said raising an eyebrow.

Rachel laughed.

"Come on," Shelby tapped her arm, "It'll look even better on you."

Resolve melting, Rachel followed Shelby towards the dressing room. She watched with eyebrows raised half in amusement and half in affection as Shelby pulled various items into her arms as they went, suggesting some for Rachel, some for herself, and mocking others.

Rachel felt childishly eager to try on the clothes her mother picked for her. Standing beside her in the long mirror, while Shelby admired her reflection in a black collared blouse, Rachel watched her and admired their similarities.

"Rachel that dress looks beautiful on you, reds really your color."

Rachel smiled and nodded, looking self-consciously down at herself.

She allowed Shelby to buy her the dress, a blue scarf, and a small brown hand bag. The three pairs of jeans Shelby had wanted to get her though, Rachel declined. She didn't see the point in buying expensive jeans anyway, all skinny jeans looked alike.

"They don't wear out as fast," Shelby said again as they were leaving the store. "One pair of those jeans could probably last you your whole life. At least until you get out of college."

"Unless I got fat and outgrew them."

"With the food your eating? There's no way. The only growing you'll be doing is getting taller, I've still got about three inches on you."

"More like six," Rachel laughed.

They had reached the restaurant, and settled into a booth. The darkness of the restaurant reminded Rachel of the sadness she had felt the last time she had come here with Shelby.

Shelby swallowed, and seemed to be thinking about more serious matters as well. "So, how hard is LeRoy to impress?"

"Don't even worry about it. The first day I was at his house he made spaghetti for dinner, and that was his idea of a fancy welcome meal."

"Really? That doesn't sound very healthy. Especially for a vegetarian."

Rachel backtracked, realizing in her efforts to ease Shelby's nerves she had revealed too much. "Well that was just the first day, after that he always had more healthy vegetarian food for me. I mean they were microwave meals, but who can blame him, vegetarians can be hard for anyone to cook for." Rachel figured Shelby would just assume that he had laboriously prepared the microwave meals for her, and then sat down with her to eat them.

Shelby looked at her suspiciously, taking a sip of water. "Microwave meals have a lot of salt in them."

Rachel tried to think of some insulting comeback, relating to Shelby's nine-year absence, but was somewhat relieved that she couldn't think of one, it allowed Shelby to move onto other topics.

"Relax Rachel, I'm not putting your father under scrutiny," Shelby must have noticed that Rachel's eyes were darting back and forth over the table in thought.

Rachel realized what she was doing and looked up.

"Good, because he's not the one who has anything to make up for." And she had found her insult.

But Shelby just smiled. "Well maybe this healthy vegetarian food will begin too."

Rachel smiled back, Shelby was too warm and extroverted to stay upset with for too long. At least while she was around that is. Alone in her room, it was a lot easier for Rachel to summon up buried feelings of hurt and neglect caused by Shelby.

LeRoy had drove Rachel to the mall, but Shelby was driving her back to LeRoy's house. As they crossed the parking lot, Rachel realized how weird it would feel to ride in Shelby's car. They approached a sleek shiny large black car, much fancier than the car she used to drive but similar in size. The inside smelled like cleanliness and leather.

"Do you want an energy drink?" Shelby half joked as she fastened her seat-belt. "There's plenty in the back."

Rachel sat down on the stiff leather passenger seat and reached for her own seat-belt. "No thanks." She really didn't want caffeine rushing through her veins. Something about being in the car made her feel nervous. You didn't usually ride in the car with coaches or teachers. You rode in the car with your mom. The last car ride she had had with Shelby, well, it had been the last car ride she had had with her in nine years. Perhaps that was causing the hard feeling of dread in her stomach.

Shelby turned on the radio, and Rachel was distracted by the noise.

Rachel glanced at Shelby. "I love this song."

Shelby caught her eye and smiled. "Really? I have their whole album, I would have played them for you to help you fall asleep..."

"But the album came out after you got sick."

"Yes." Shelby appreciated Rachel acknowledging her illness rather than bringing up blame for her abandonment, but she didn't want Rachel to feel that she had to avoid the issue either. "After I gave you up."

"Do you have it with you?"

"I have it downloaded. I can connect my iPhone to the bluetooth in a moment, after the song has finished."

Rachel sat back in her seat, beginning to relax as the music played. The seats in Shelby's car even had warmers, and she bent slightly to mess with the dial. She inhaled deeply. She loved the smell of Shelby's car, so fresh and plain enough to not mask the stronger smell of blue flowers and evergreen branches coming from the driver. Even as her seat warmed, the movements of the car sent that traumatized part of her brain on edge, and as much as part of her was comforted by the car ride, another part of her was clenched with terror and glad when it was finally over.

LeRoy looked a bit apprehensive upon seeing Shelby, but he welcomed her inside with his usual friendly smile.

"Wow," Shelby said looking around, "This place is nice." She glanced sideways at Rachel who wondered if Shelby's complement was meant as an explanation for why Rachel wanted to stay here. Clenching her jaw, Rachel hoped that LeRoy wouldn't be offended by the implication.

LeRoy laughed off the compliment, "Thanks, my husband picked it out, he was more one for picking houses, things like that were never really my thing." He barely managed to maintain his smile and polite cheerfulness through talking about Hiram.

They moved into the living room and Rachel sat down on the couch for the first time, she usually avoided the living room, it was LeRoy's space, and her room was her own. It felt alien being there. Shelby sat down beside Rachel, unaware of how the space felt foreign to Rachel as well as her.

"Would you like something to drink?" LeRoy offered.

"Water's fine." Shelby replied.

"Are you sure you don't want anything stronger?" LeRoy said over his shoulder, opening the fridge to get ice cubes. "I have a variety of choices."

"What do you have in your selection?"

LeRoy pulled a bottle out of a cabinet and held it up. "How does this sound?"

Shelby glanced at Rachel, "I really shouldn't," she brought her hands to her face in distress. "Oh alright, this conversation might need a little something to help keep it flowing."

LeRoy beamed and began pouring the wine into two glasses. "You want some Rachel?" He joked.

"Yes please." Rachel sighed. Unaccustomed to LeRoy being so friendly with her, it was a relief to relieve some of the tension, even if he was only acting this way because Shelby was in his presence, and he didn't want to appear unfit in any way. It worked to Rachel's advantage, for the sake of pride, she wanted Shelby to believe that the relationship she had with LeRoy, really could establish this natural banter.

Shelby shot her a look when Rachel expressed her desire for alcohol, hands still on her forehead. Shelby lowered them when LeRoy handed her the glass. "Thank you."

"So," LeRoy had seated himself in his armchair, "Its nice to finally meet."

"Yes," One of Shelby's hands had subconsciously slipped onto Rachel's knee, "Its nice to finally meet you as well." Shelby took a large gulp of wine and set the glass down on the coffee table. Her face looked weighed by dread, but as she lifted her hand from Rachel to brush her hair away from her face, she seemed to brush away the expression as well, and a more determined look hardened her features. "I would like to discuss visitation rights with you for Rachel." Shelby now gripped Rachel's hand. "I'm her mother, and I know I haven't been for a while, but I would like to be again."

Rachel could tell that the wine was already having an effect on Shelby, her words a little faster and bolder than her already confident speech, her eyes just slightly glazed.

"I would be happy to discuss setting up regular visits with you and Rachel," LeRoy glanced at Rachel, then looked back at Shelby. "But don't you think we should talk about this more privately?"

"Whatever you have to say you can say in front of my daughter," Shelby raised Rachel's hand up and down as she spoke, "She has a say in this too," she met Rachel's eyes, "I'm actually only seeing her if she wants me too, so its very important that she decides when that is...I already have a few ideas though," she looked back at LeRoy. "Every weekend she could spend the night at my place, every Thursday and Monday we could have dinner together."

"Maybe Thursday and Friday?" LeRoy suggested. "Mondays can be a bit stressful can't they?"

"Mondays are special, Rachel was born on a Monday." Shelby smiled at Rachel and Rachel smiled back curiously, she hadn't known this fun fact about herself. "How about every other Monday, and every Thursday night and Friday night."

"That sounds alright," LeRoy said, "I have to admit that dinners around here aren't too exciting." He met Rachel's eyes with a knowing smile.

"How does all this sound Rachel?" Shelby asked anxiously.

"It sounds great," Rachel said mildly, not wanting to reveal how much the idea of spending so much time with Shelby pleased her. "The weekends though," Rachel said thinking of Quinn, "I don't mind staying with you, but sometimes I might want to do other things, like see friends, is that okay?"

"Yes of course Rachel, that's fine."

Rachel smiled into Shelby's determined face, made harsh only by lines of stress over Rachel, whatever faults lay in Shelby's hopeful eyes, it was a motherly face. Rachel glanced at LeRoy, who, now more than ever she was sure, only wanted what was best for her.

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait...hopefully everyone didn't forget that this story existed in the time it took for me to update! I've been a bit busy, but I still have not completed the plot line I originally imagined for this story, so I will probably be updating relatively soon with more. :)