Maura got settled in her car and waited for Angela to get situated before turning on the engine and driving away from the house. She made it a point to keep silent, thinking that Angela needed time to try to wrap her mind around the situation. It broke Maura's heart at hearing suppressed sobs coming from the older woman, knowing that both she and her daughter were in the same situation emotionally speaking. Once they arrived at Angela's apartment, Maura took over, going into the kitchen to prepare some tea, hoping it would soothe Angela's nerves and calm her for the talk they were about to have.
She entered the small living room, cups of tea in hand, and handed one to Angela who took it gratefully.
"I just don't understand where I went wrong with her! First she tells me she wants to be a cop and put her life in danger every single day, and now this?! It's too much, Maura. I can't handle my daughter being a lesbian! It's an abomination! A ticket straight to hell! I never wanted this for her… "
"Jane's decision to become a police officer was to help keep the city and people she loves safe, Angela. Now that she's a homicide detective, she is able to bring closure to people who have lost so much in life. I think it is an honorable, courageous job."
"It is, I can see that now. My Janie will never stop being a cop… but this?! How am I supposed to handle this?"
"I know that my opinion may not matter much, Angela –"
"Maura, you're like my daughter. I value your opinion."
Maura looked down, trying to hide the blush and watery eyes. Would Angela think the same of her in a few minutes, when she realized that she was the very person who was involved with her daughter? She took a few moments to gather her thoughts before speaking again.
"You're the family I never had. I was raised by nannies. I remember actually sending for brochures of boarding schools when I was of sufficient age. The relationship with my parents was always strained, and when I left for boarding school, it became that much more difficult. I seldom see my parents; once or twice a year is sometimes too much. As time has gone by and Jane and I have gotten closer, I've become more and more observant of your interaction with your children, Angela… you are all so very close. You see each other practically on a daily basis; you even have Sunday night dinners to make sure you see each other at least once a week! I know that Jane at times complains that you hover too much or that you're too overprotective of her even though she's now a grown woman, but she has told me time and again how much she loves you and how much she needs you in her life. You play a very important role in her world, Angela, and I also know that her heart is breaking right now because of what happened tonight."
"My heart is broken too, Maura. I just don't know what to do!"
"I'm a scientist… it is because of that I think, that I don't believe in religion. We as scientists are trained to know facts, and nothing else. There is a scientific explanation to anything out there. Just because I'm not a religious person doesn't mean I haven't studied it or don't know about it. Roman Catholicism is one of the main religions in the world. I know how your church views homosexuality, Angela, but I am also inclined to think that a God such as yours, so loving and understanding, wouldn't shy away from a person just because of their sexuality, especially when that person is someone as good and kindhearted as Jane. Jane is a beautiful person, Angela. You have such a loving, wonderful daughter. She's still the same Jane you've always known… did you honestly notice a difference in her behavior as of late?"
"She seemed much happier than normal…"
Maura smiled at that. "Did you notice anything negative about her behavior?"
"No. If I really think about it, she hasn't been this happy in a long time… if ever."
"Jane's personality hasn't changed, Angela. If anything has changed here, it's just that she is now happy. I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that Jane is happy. After what I know of her past, I didn't know if she could ever truly be happy again. I know that my words may not really have much of a bearing on what happened tonight, but I have to be honest with you. Jane was honest, and I must follow in her footsteps… I'm the person Jane has been seeing."
Angela's eyes filled with tears once again.
"I understand the consequences of what I've just told you… and that the words you had for Jane are probably now directed towards me as well. I am not here to make a case for myself, or to try to justify or excuse our relationship… I'm here because I wanted you to realize what your reaction did to Jane today, what it did to you today. The relationship you two share is closer than a typical mother/daughter relationship; it is a strong bond that I wish I had with my mother… one that shouldn't be broken. Please Angela, just think about what I've said. Think about Jane… about how she's still the daughter you love, how she will continue being that person, how kind and caring, how honest and brave she is. She would do anything for you, I know it… even if she doesn't admit it, she would even be willing to end her relationship with me for you… that's how important you are to her. Please, don't make her choose. As much as it would break my heart to lose her as a partner, it will tear us apart if we were to lose one another as friends. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me… she's my life, and I love her. I plan on spending the rest of my days showing her just how much I love and care for her. If I knew that this isn't what Jane wanted, I would bury my feelings and walk away… but we love each other. I hope that even if that day isn't today, you can come to understand it at some point… I know that I've overwhelmed you, and that wasn't my intention. Just think about what I said, please. Don't shut your daughter out… don't ruin the perfect family you have... don't lose one another…"
With that, Maura rose from her seat, gave one nod at Angela, and headed towards the door. As she grabbed her purse and opened the door, she heard her name called.
"Maura?" She quickly turned.
"Yes, Angela?"
"Can I please go back with you? I need to see my daughter."
Where do we go from here?=)
