"Go Anya! Show them who the real Huskies are!" Raven yelled out from the seat beside her as Anya and Lexa blazed down the wings as Fox carried the puck into Connecticut's zone. At this point, it was only a matter of time; Connecticut had been effective at bottling NU up in the neutral zone, but just about every time her local Huskies made a quality zone entry, they scored a goal.
"Raven, I think they did that five goals ago." Clarke stated with a laugh, nodding in amusement as Anya slipped Lexa a pass for an easy one-timer from the point that sailed over the goalie's shoulder. "Make that six." She added as Raven jumped to her feet and cheered loudly.
"So they're up nine to nothing. Doesn't mean I can't cheer my babe on." Raven noted with a giddy smile when she sat down, and Clarke had to admit that whatever Raven felt for Anya, it looked damn good on her.
And really, it was nice to just enjoy hockey without being at ice-level. It gave her a chance to take notes throughout the game in prep for their upcoming series against NU, as well as just enjoy watching her two newest friends light another team up.
"Does she know you call her your 'babe'?" She asked, earning a shove at her shoulder from her smitten friend.
"Who's got time for minor details like that? You know I'll get around to it eventually." Raven joked, shifting her focus back to the ice, where Sienne's line was up to take the face-off at center ice.
Clarke laughed off Raven's attempt at evading her, knowing her friend was probably about to burst and spill all the details, but just wanted to prolong it all. "Seriously, though. Anya keeps telling me to ask you about what you two worked out...some day or another, she's going to get tired of me asking."
All Clarke was privy to was that both Anya and Raven really enjoyed their date, but also that both weren't sure they'd have time to have a relationship, though that was mostly a concern Anya held, given it was her final semester.
"Okay, okay, so basically..." Raven began, voice trailing off as the other girl bit her lip, as if that could possibly hold back the smile she was dying to let shine. Which, well, was honestly answer enough. "...we're dating!"
Raven practically vibrating in place from a mix of joy and energy would have had Clarke rolling her eyes had she not already experienced Raven's jubilation, only to find it sort of suited her. Raven deserved all the happiness coming her way, and if that was in the form of her new closest friend, then there wasn't any harm in that.
Clarke laid a hand on Raven's shoulder, beaming back at her friend. "That's amazing, Raven! You two have any plans for more dates?"
Raven just nodded animatedly. "Tonight, actually, but it's pretty low-key, since she had a practice this morning, and a game today, and she's got a doctor's appointment later, too. Busy day, so we're going to head over to the library and...you know...grab some coffees and read together."
While she hadn't known Raven for a tremendously long time, a few weeks ago, Clarke never would have imagined the girl would be up for that kind of outing. Perhaps she'd been wrong in assessing Raven's character, perhaps it was a sign of how smitten she was with Anya, or maybe it was a mix of both.
Either way, Clarke knew Anya would probably melt. The elder Pine sibling tended to love simple companionship, and loved when opportunities came along for her to share her interests, even if they were few and far between.
"I'm just happy you'll be spending time together, with how busy the next few months are going to be for you both." Clarke stated with a smile, watching Northeastern make yet another controlled zone entry into Connecticut's end. "I'm sure she'll appreciate some quiet time alone with you."
"Mmhmm. Idea is, this time around we dive into her world. Some time soon, I'm hoping to build something with her in my garage workshop. I mean, we're more than just the prettiest faces around, you know?" Raven added, tamely clapping when Northeastern scored yet another goal, not as enthused since it wasn't Anya's line on the ice that time. "Anyway, speaking of one on ones, have you run into Lexa since that night you bumped into each other?"
Clarke shook her head, thankfully not hesitating, even if it took her mind a moment to fully catch up. The only person outside of her and Lexa who knew what happened that night was Anya, and it'd stay that way unless Lexa told her otherwise. The last thing she wanted to do was invite others to intrude on the girl's privacy. And yet, she knew Raven wanted details, and knew Clarke had feelings for the other girl, so she had to offer something up.
"No. I showed her I'm interested, I put myself out there...now it's a waiting game. She needs time and space to figure things out, and...well, in the end, it's her call." Clarke let out with a smile that she hoped brimmed with confidence, even if she didn't exactly feel it. The radio silence from Lexa had been a bit unnerving, as was the fact that whenever Clarke seemed to come by, Lexa was gone.
Anya, of course, had told her Lexa wasn't deliberately avoiding her. That Lexa was moving forward, she'd just need some patience. Clarke wasn't so convinced, but at the same time, Anya wouldn't lie to her, so there had to be some truth to it.
"Well, hey, at least you did something. My advice? Don't let up entirely. Keep prodding here and there...low risk stuff, you know?" Raven said, bumping shoulders with her.
Honestly, there wasn't much in her schedule, but she'd had a fair bit of business lately, and maybe she could spare a little extra time off. Clarke considered the next few days and decided to reassess the upcoming Thursday night; she'd planned on spending it alone, being away from home and what with both Wells and her mother far away.
"Maybe...maybe I'll do something Thursday night? Just a casual get-together thing. That wouldn't be threatening, right?" Clarke asked, feeling more certain second by second that she'd want company that night after all.
"Yeah, yeah, that sounds low-key and casual enough. It could definitely work...and hey, worst comes to worst, you'll have good company!" Raven noted with a wide grin, and Clarke could certainly admit that truth.
Anya's line making its way back onto the ice recaptured Raven's attention, of course, and let Clarke focus back on her note-taking, figuring if the team made any late-game adjustments, or if any players started showing wear and tear, that her team could benefit from that knowledge.
Still, as she scribbled down her notes, she couldn't help but hope that Raven was right. Honestly, even if Lexa didn't want to date her, she really would still want the girl in her life.
Her disappearing act's getting a little hard to handle...I miss her...and I know I'm not entitled to her, but, it'd be nice just to see her for a minute or two... Clarke mused with a sigh, catching sight of Caris looking a little less mobile than usual while turning clockwise. Okay, yeah, we can use that...
For whatever it was worth, Clarke was optimistic, and that was an odd feeling, as she hadn't felt hopeful about her supposed love life for months upon months. Maybe a little prodding here and there wouldn't hurt.
Lexa's legs were aching again. She'd had a long morning practice, had to rush to her classes across campus that were scheduled back to back, and she'd taken a long slog through the snow to the coffee shop and then back home once her classes were done for the day. Usually, she'd have spent time relaxing, maybe giving herself a mini-massage.
Instead, she'd been pacing her dorm room for the last hour, because her desire for a massage had brought her mind around to Clarke. Clarke, who she wanted to pursue eventually. Clarke, who had hands that very well could harness the essence of Spring, given their ability to bestow vigor into her body and bring her to bloom, much like the season does bring nature to bloom, all brimming with life.
Clarke, who she had been avoiding for a number of days as she tried to figure out how to approach the girl, how to start something between them, how to even enter the digits of the blonde's phone number into her cell.
It was all nerve-wracking. She felt like she was back in high school again, crushing on another girl and losing a hundred percent of her cool at the mere thought of talking to her. Which, by any account, was ridiculous since she'd talked to Clarke a great many times, even if sometimes under duress or having been strong-armed into their conversations.
Truth was, Clarke made her feel a satellite trapped in orbit: the stability and purpose in being exactly where she was whenever she was with the blonde, but that uncertainty and fear of moving too slow or too fast. Falling into Clarke would be dangerous, and falling away from her could result in losing her.
For so long, she'd been so worried about the former, about losing herself in Clarke, falling in love and something terrible happening because of that. Now, as she paced in her room, Lexa found herself more concerned about just straight up losing Clarke from distance.
Sure, she needed time to think, and figure out how to manage it, but Lexa knew she'd been avoiding being back at her dorm during hours where Clarke usually popped by. She could only do that for so long before Clarke would eventually assume that Lexa wanted no part of her.
Which, well, wasn't the case at all.
Lexa sighed and plopped down onto the side of her bed. Useless...why do I have to be so useless at this? Just a few numbers in a cell phone...I...I really do want to talk to her...
With the burst of annoyance at herself came a shred of courage, prompting her to grab a hold of her phone from the nightstand. It's just a few numbers, I think I can do this... okay...let's see...
Lexa stared off at the scrap of paper Anya had written Clarke's cell number on, and slowly entered the first three digits. She was just pressing the fourth when her phone vibrated, startling Lexa and sending it flying to the floor.
"What the..." Lexa started to say as she shook off her shock and reached down for the phone, only to recoil at the number presented on her call display.
Clarke's number.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" She muttered as she sat back down on her bed, one hand tangled in her hair, the other fiddling with the half empty water bottle she'd tossed there earlier.
It didn't make sense. There was no reason for Clarke to call her. Well, except I've been avoiding her, and she can't catch me at home or at the gym with Anya and Lincoln. And I haven't been visiting the coffee shop lately, with the exception of today. I skipped New Year's, knowing she'd be there. If she really wanted to get a hold of me, calling would be a reasonable step, but...just...
Lexa was broken from her thoughts by the sudden silence, the phone ending its vibration, signaling that she'd missed the call.
It was all so frustrating, and it was that annoyance and anger at herself that propelled her off the bed to grab the cell phone and hit redial before she realized what she was doing. Truly, by the second ring, her knees were shaking bad enough that she had to sit back down, and it wasn't from exhaustion or strain.
Clarke picked up on the third. "Hello?"
It took Lexa a few moments to adjust to hearing the blonde's voice again. It had been so long, and yet it almost felt as if she were back in that condo again, back in Clarke's bedroom, hearing that tentative tone again. "Clarke, uh, good evening. I...well, I was returning from the, uh...the hallway, and I just...well..." Lexa stammered out, growingly increasingly frustrated as she stumbled over her words, knowing that it'd never been a problem for her in the past.
She closed her eyes and pulled the phone away as she took a deep breath in hopes of calming herself down. The fact that she hadn't heard any added words from Clarke gave her the confidence that the blonde was waiting on her, and would wait. Which, symbolic or not, really was relieving.
"What I mean to say is...good evening, Clarke. It's good to hear from you. How have you been?" Lexa let out, hoping that even with the more formal language, and the slightly impersonal tone, that it'd be enough of an olive branch.
"It's nice to hear your voice, Lexa. And good evening to you, too." Clarke noted, that tentativeness still lingering, even if the blonde's voice had softened substantially. "And I've been well. My life has been busy, of course, but I kicked off the year pretty well, and even got myself a few resolutions. You?"
"My resolutions?" Lexa asked, before realizing what Clarke had really been going for.
"Well, I meant to ask how you're doing, but if you made some resolutions of your own, I'd be happy to hear them." Clarke stated, sounding a little more relaxed now, dropping into the casual banter that often hooked Lexa and refused to let her go.
This time, she wouldn't resist. "Well, Anya refused to let me sleep on the night of the first unless I gave her some. I...well, I won't share all of them, Clarke, but I do want to visit all of my favourite parks during each season this year, now that I'm settled."
"That definitely sounds like a good resolution. There's a lot of great parks in and around the city, I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun." Clarke shot back with all the warmth of a summer breeze, and Lexa didn't even need a reminder to know what she needed to say next.
"I can still hold you to a springtime tour of the arboretum, can't I?" Lexa asked, and she could literally feel herself sweating. It was more than gross, but like hell if she would hang up when she'd already made progress. At least, she considered regular conversation to be progress.
"Yeah, yeah...I'm really looking forward to it, Lexa." Clarke said, sounding a little surprised at the reference to the day in the park, if happily so. Almost as if Clarke had thought Lexa had simply paid her lip service. "I've got a few I'm holding close to my chest, but I definitely want to go on a road trip, even if it's just a small weekend away from here, you know?"
Lexa literally gasped at the idea, reminding her of Octavia's birthday party and Clarke's song. Of all the little fantasies she'd concocted. "That's a fantastic resolution, Clarke. Have you given any thought as to where you'd want to go?"
"Well, I have some loose ideas in mind, but nothing set in stone. I don't think I'd want to go alone, it's sort of meant to be a group experience, and I'd want everyone to be on board." Clarke explained, making perfect sense. There was value in adventuring solo, but road trips were best in groups of two or larger.
"Absolutely, that's a great resolution, Clarke." Lexa stated with a nod to herself, happy that Clarke was interested in traveling. There was always something new and interesting to see, she figured.
"Yeah, I thought so, too. Anyway, what's new?"
Now, just how long she spent on the phone in casual conversation with Clarke Griffin was not something she was privy to, but after talks of school, hockey practices, Anya and Raven's relationship, and zany tales from New Year's, Lexa had long lost track of time. She'd fallen into their conversation like she'd fallen into a daydream, and it was only after a prolonged pause in their banter that Lexa realized she was sitting up against her headboard, Clarke's largest leftover hoodie clutched to her body with her free arm.
"So, you know, I was wondering..." Clarke started, voice trailing off as the blonde seemed to gather her thoughts, which only made the shift in conversational tone more distinct. The tentativeness from earlier was back. "I'm having people over this evening, despite the blizzard outside and all. Just a casual get together thing...I was wondering if you'd like to come by?"
The panic that swept through her at the thought of going back to the condo while others were there had words spilling from her mouth. "Oh I, uh, can't. I... um..." She stumbled out, freezing as she realized she'd just declined Clarke's offer.
"Oh, okay." Clarke let out, those three syllables about as downcast as she'd heard from the blonde.
Which sent Lexa into another worried frenzy. "It's not that I wouldn't like to, Clarke, it's...well, it's just that..."
"Lexa, it's fine. You don't have to explain. It's early in the semester, everyone has a lot to do." Clarke stated, still sounding disappointed, but Lexa couldn't help but feel a little relief for being let off the hook, given she really didn't have any excuse or reasoning concocted, and would have just stammered out random syllables after where the blonde had interjected.
"I apologize. But maybe I could call you this weekend?" Lexa asked, teeth quickly finding her lip as she waited for a response.
It took the blonde a moment or two, but she did pick up what sounded like a happy sigh from Clarke. "I'd like that." The blonde noted. "Maybe Saturday evening, after our game?"
Lexa found herself smiling at the idea, the nearly forty-eight hour wait giving her plenty of time to prepare. "I look forward to it."
"Well, I guess I should start preparing for everyone...it's been great hearing from you, Lexa. Take care, okay?" Clarke asked, that familiar considerate warmth bringing a smile to Lexa's face.
"You too, Clarke. I hope you have a good time, tonight." Lexa offered, truly hoping the blonde would have a nice night surrounded by her friends. Clarke deserved that much.
"Thanks! Goodnight, Lexa." Clarke signed off, Lexa quickly following suit and then ending the call.
Lexa sunk down against her bed, feeling equal parts exhilarated and on edge over how the phone call had gone. Though she did feel guilty about declining Clarke's offer, she really wasn't quite ready to mingle just yet; Anya told her it was important to be patient with herself, so long as she kept trudging forward towards progress.
Speak of the devil... She mused as the dorm room door opened and Anya stepped in, letting out a loud huff and tossing her gloves off.
"Fucking blizzard out there. Ridiculous." Her cousin muttered, slowly stripping away each protective layer from the cold and snow that she was wearing. "It's supposed to be cold or snowy, not both."
"I hear that. The walk home today was hell iced over." Lexa agreed, drawing Anya's attention, her cousin looking surprised at first, then wary.
"Are you going to Clarke's thing tonight?" Anya asked, though the quick realization as soon as blush met Lexa's cheeks had her knowing her cousin wouldn't need an answer. "You're not."
Lexa shook her head and pulled Clarke's hoodie on. "No, but...but we talked. On the phone."
Anya nodded slowly as she approached and sat down at the end of Lexa's bed. "And how did that go?"
Lexa ducked her head slightly as she felt her throbbing pulse in her temples, knowing her face was only redder. "We talked for a long time. It was really nice. I...panicked slightly when she invited me over, but I offered to call her this weekend, and she seemed happy about that. That's good, right? That's progress?"
Anya let out a deep breath and leaned forward to rub her calves. "It sounds like it, yes." Her cousin noted with a pleased smile. "Are you certain you can't come tonight?"
"I don't think I'd be predictable enough, visiting her place again, seeing her for the first time since then...it'd be better for me to see her again somewhere...less charged, I guess." Lexa explained, drawing an eventual nod from her cousin. "I do hope you have a good time."
Anya gave her a smile and leaned back, propping herself up on her elbows. "My cab will be here in fifteen minutes. I should get changed." Anya said, slowly ambling off the bed and towards her dresser. "I'm not sure how late I'll be...especially with the storm. Just in case anything happens, I want you to be prepared, so I'm leaving you twenty dollars. Order from a place close-by, I don't care what it is, but I want you to be able to eat if you get snowed in."
Lexa rolled her eyes as she fluffed her pillows and propped herself up against them. "You don't need to do that."
"I do, I couldn't let you starve. There's a flashlight and spare batteries under my bed. Break out the second space heater if it gets cold enough. If you can't reach me by cell, and there's an emergency, use the Cobra. And if..." Anya started rambling as she pulled out some fresh clothes, laying out the usual spiel on emergency health and safety when Lexa already had everything memorized.
"Stop being such a worry wart and get ready. I'll be fine, Anya. I know what to do if anything happens." Lexa insisted not unkindly, wanting to assert that she really would be fine without making it sound as if she was affronted over her cousin mothering her. Anya was wonderful, but it was times like these where the woman could be a little overbearing.
Still, her response had Anya stomping around a little harder than usual as her cousin prepped for the night ahead. It wasn't long before Anya was all dressed and ready to bundle back up again, her cousin taking one last glance around before heading over to Lexa's bedside.
"I want texts every hour on the hour until I get home, or eleven, whichever comes first. If you have an emergency, or you need anything, you know how to get a hold of me. Stay safe and have a good night, okay, little one?" Anya asked, more rhetorically than anything as her cousin leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm proud of you, Lexa. Please remember that."
Lexa pulled Anya down for a quick hug, enjoying that last bit of affection for the night before her cousin left to spend it with Clarke.
She was sure she'd spend most of the night wondering what they were up to, and wasn't sure her videogames would be distracting enough. Still, she smiled as Anya left, knowing that even if she was a work in progress, she was getting there. And perhaps a few weeks from then, she'd be a regular at Clarke's get-togethers as well.
Until then, she had plenty of time to think.
Clarke pressed her hands up against her window and stared out at the storm, the wild flurry of flakes halfway obscuring the sight of the empty roads below. A foot had dropped over the past hour alone, and it didn't seem as if the plows were up to the task.
"It's getting bad out there." Raven noted as she walked up beside her, hot chocolate in hand and more than a little worry in her voice.
It was all a little bittersweet, really. "Well, O and Lincoln are off the roads and back at his place for the night. Monroe and Harper got back to her dorm five minutes ago, so they're safe, too. Anya's still out there, though."
As much as Clarke was desperate for company tonight, she really didn't want any of her people in danger. The storm was the worst of the year, and she couldn't help but worry about Anya, knowing it had been a long time since she'd gotten the text saying she was leaving the dorm.
"She'll be okay. A little snow wouldn't keep her away." Raven noted with false confidence. "We can hear the wind, no way she'd hear her phone in this mess."
"Right." Clarke said with a nod, not feeling so confident with all the reports online of car crashes and everything. The logical part of her brain told her that they were in the city, and that the path from Northeastern to her condo was not a particularly dangerous one, but the fact that Anya had left over an hour ago and still hadn't arrived? Well, it had her concerned.
Very concerned.
"Maybe I should try again." Raven said after a few long seconds of silence, quickly pulling out her phone. She was midway through tapping in the digits when Clarke's front door opened.
Clarke wasn't sure she'd ever seen Raven move so fast, dashing across the room to pull a very snow-crusted Anya into her arms. "You're here!"
"I'm cold." Anya griped quietly as Clarke rushed over to them and pulled the pair away from the door and into the living room, just happy to know Anya was safe and sound.
"That's no way to greet your girlfriend!" Raven chided, letting out a huff that seemed more a means to let out all that pent up emotion and worry than anything else.
"Says the woman who's been safe and warm in Clarke's condo. I think you have it the other way around, Reyes." Anya shot back, teeth still chattering from the chill, prompting Clarke to head off towards the linen closet for a towel and some more blankets.
"She has a point, Raven. Make it up to your girl!" Clarke called out as she stocked up with two towels and three extra blankets. Perhaps it was overkill, but she couldn't be too careful.
By the time she was on her way back, she managed to catch Raven murmur something and kiss Anya, leaving the already red-cheeked woman a little redder. "Sorry honeybuns, it must have been terrible out there."
Anya's eyes went wide, leaning back a bit in what Clarke recognized as fake outrage when Anya's eyes suddenly narrowed, a finger shooting out to poke Raven in the chest. "No. That's not going to happen."
"Oh come on, we're together, I totally get to call you something cheesy, sugar." Raven let out, and while Clarke could tell the woman was probably just teasing Anya as a way to avoid expressing how worried she'd been over the past half hour, she was interested to see how it would play out. Maybe she just hung back by the couch ad rested her supplies on the armrest.
"Do I look...no, you know what, I'm not even going to try, because you'll have a one-liner at the ready. Just no. Try again." Anya insisted, crossing her arms and glaring at her girlfriend even as she shivered.
Maybe the shivering got Clarke to take action, if just to creep up to her friend and begin towel-drying her hair, something Anya didn't acknowledge in the slightest, not with Raven giving her the biggest shit-eating grin.
"You gotta give me something, buttercup." Raven tried again, drawing a huff.
"Not that."
"I don't know why you're so on edge, muffin, it's just a pet name."
"I will literally flay you if you call me that again."
"There are faster ways to my heart, pookie."
"Are you trying to annoy me? Because at this point I'd almost rather be back out in the storm than..." Anya griped after a heavy sigh, halfway turning back towards the door.
In a flash, the towel was out of Clarke's hands, and Raven was holding it behind Anya, encircling the both of them. Realizing they could need some space, Clarke took a few steps back, returning to the couch.
"Hey, okay, okay...how about..." Raven noted, bringing her lips to Anya's ears, whispering something that quickly had a smile blooming on her friend's lips.
Anya let out a laugh and gave a light push at Raven's chest before reeling her back in for a kiss. "Let's keep that one between us for now."
Raven winked and brought the towel up to finish drying Anya's hair. "Deal."
"Now that you two are done canoodling, can we warm Anya up? You're freezing." Clarke let out, prompting Raven to help Anya take off her winter wear before ushering the both of them over to the couch, her and Clarke quickly sandwiching the older woman.
Clarke felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her in close, letting her feel more comfortable about showing affection when Raven was around. She'd told Raven all about it, and her friend had told her it was all perfectly cool, that Anya explained they were purely platonic, and she was just happy that Clarke made Anya happy. It's just that they'd never all been alone together in one place with Clarke showing Anya her usual affection, so maybe she was nervous.
But judging by how Raven curled into Anya as well, it didn't seem like there was a problem.
Clarke smiled as she cuddled closer. "So, what happened out there?"
"My cab made it a few blocks before she slid and rear-ended a parked car. I got out and walked from there." Anya explained, which helped make sense of how cold the woman was.
"I should have picked you up." Raven asserted, earning a light smack to the head. "Hey!"
"It was dangerous out there. You and Clarke got in before it got too bad, and I'm happy for that. There's a reason I didn't answer your calls, I knew you'd come get me." Anya stated, turning her head to kiss Raven's cheek. "And I appreciate that you would, but I was fine. I'm happy you're dry and safe."
Raven leaned her head up and pressed a lingering kiss to her girlfriend's cheek. "You're such a mom, sometimes." Raven said with enough warmth to only have Anya's jaw clenching half as tensely as it might have otherwise. "Oh come on, you know I dig that about you."
"You 'dig' it? What are you, a time traveler from the seventies?" Anya shot back with a laugh.
"Seriously, her car didn't give her away?" Clarke chipped in, earning a huff from her friend, who ever so slightly pulled away from Anya.
"I don't think I'm good with you two anymore if it means you'll be double-teaming me like this. Not cool." Raven grumbled, moving to cross her arms just as Anya slung an arm around her waist and pulled her back in, laughing all the while. "Okay, okay, even I know how that sounded. Don't you dare use a one-liner on me, either of you."
Clarke lifted her head from Anya's shoulder and peered over at Raven. "You top us up on hot chocolate and maybe we'll go light on you."
"I am still a bit chilly." Anya noted openly, prompting Raven to press another kiss to Anya's cheek and get off the couch.
"Well, far be it from me to neglect my girlfriendly duties." Raven said with a roll of her eyes and a growing grin, quickly making her way over to the kitchen.
Which of course, gave Clarke plenty of time to tease her closest friend. "You two are adorable."
"Clarke..." Anya noted lowly in warning, though the slight upward tilt of her lips revealed the woman was more amused or playful than anything.
"I'll have to bump my dentist appointment up to Monday at this rate, with how sweet you two are. I can feel the cavities for..." Clarke teased, only for one of her throw pillows to blindside her, thwapping solidly against her face.
"We're not adorable or sweet." Anya let out in a huff, all red-cheeked and daresay flustered. Almost as if she maybe enjoyed the compliments, but wasn't quite comfortable accepting them yet.
Clarke knew that Raven and Anya's relationship was still pretty new, but she had a good feeling about it. And she knew that eventually, Anya would probably beam at compliments, if only just in the company of a select few. "You're happier with her, I can tell. That makes me happy."
"You're such a sap, Clarke." Anya said, flinging the pillow back for another strike, Clarke just barely getting her arm up to block it in time. "Speaking of, you looked upset when I came in."
Clarke shook her head, not really wanting to get into it, and hoping her best friend wouldn't be able to see right through her. "It's nothing, just a lot of bad luck."
"Clarke invited a lot of people over tonight, and we're it." Raven stated as she returned with three mugs, getting the coasters in place on the coffee table in front of them before setting them down and re-joining them back at Anya's side.
Anya shot Raven a quick smile before returning her full focus back to Clarke, a worried frown marring her features. "Are we celebrating something?"
It was just a fraction of a second, the tiniest span of time, but Clarke couldn't help but wince at the idea of celebrating her father's death. That was all it took for Anya's eyes to grow all big and soft.
"Nah, just a standard get together. Us, Linctavia, some of the Eagles, nothing major." Raven answered before taking a sip of her drink.
"No, no, it's...Clarke, why did you ask everyone over?" Anya prodded, letting out a slightly annoyed sigh when Clarke kept her lips shut, not really sure what to say. "You kept this place secret from us for a reason. Inviting your teammates would be a risk for you, but you did it anyways, so what's this about?"
Clarke slowly shifted away from Anya's side, her heart clenching as her best friend deflated immediately, even if the woman gave an understanding nod.
"It's not a big deal. I didn't want to make a big thing about it." Clarke mumbled as she steadied herself mentally and emotionally. "This is my dad's place."
"Yeah, you said he used it because he was up here working a lot." Raven chimed in hesitantly, not that she should have felt that way. Clarke was always happy when others helped fill in the blanks and leave her the harder parts to discuss.
"He actually hated this place. If he was here, it usually meant he was away from me and my mom. Work had him up here a lot, but...that last year, he and my mom fought a lot. And he'd spend some weekends up here because my mom would ask it of him." Clarke stated, knowing she'd only really talked openly about any of this before with Wells and her mom, and that immediate rush of memories and dormant emotions had tears springing up in her eyes. "He spent his last few weekends here because he and mom were fighting. He did a lot of volunteer firefighting to pass the time. That's how he met Nyko."
Clarke took a deep breath, smiling when she felt the gentle weight of Anya's hand on her own. "My dad and Nyko responded to a fire. There was a three alarm blaze not too far away, but they couldn't just leave this other fire. Nyko said it didn't seem too serious at first, but there was...there was an explosion. My dad didn't make it out." Clarke relayed, wiping away the quickly falling tears as she swallowed back all that repressed pain. "That was two years ago today."
Two things happened quickly as soon as the admission left her mouth.
The first was that throw pillow smacking against her face, stunning her for a brief moment, enough to not see Anya bolting up from the couch. The second was Anya holding out a hand to lift her from the couch.
"Do you keep the kitchen stocked?" Anya asked flatly, cocking that eyebrow of hers, as if to dare Clarke not to go along with whatever harebrained plan the woman had cooked up over the past few seconds.
"Not much variety, but...yeah. Why?" She asked, flitting her attention between Anya's face and her hand.
"Good. Now come on, get up." Anya ordered, prompting Clarke to take her hand. With a firm grip, the woman pulled Clarke to her feet and marched them off into the kitchen
Clarke watched Anya rifle through her cabinets, pulling out all sorts of thing, but it was hauling her bags of flour and sugar that had her somewhat realizing what was happening. Raven quickly found a place at Anya's side, arranging the ingredients for whatever the woman had planned.
"You handle the icing, we'll handle the rest." Anya added, pushing some ingredients across the kitchen island to her. "I trust you can handle it?"
Clarke nodded, still in a bit of a daze over what was going on, but fully capable of making somethng as simple as icing. She quickly got to work, sifting the confectioner's sugar before tossing butter into a mixing bowl to cream it.
She'd just finished with the butter, and was ready to start gradually mixing in the sugar when Raven's voice met her ears. "What was your father like?"
Clarke's head shot up at the question, having thought the baking was a distraction from everything. "What?"
"He meant a lot to you. Tell us about him." Anya added warmly as she used Clarke's mixer for something else, likely batter related.
It was a massive understatement, to be certain, but with her hands busy making icing, and her friends hard at work prepping cake batter, and two pairs of soft, watchful eyes on her, maybe she had the strength to open up.
"He was my hero, really." Clarke started, feeling a rush of emotion as she recalled a lifetime of memories. The last time she'd felt that had been talking with Lexa about him, which likely helped dull the impact a bit. "He...he was the kindest person I ever met. I never heard him say anything mean or harsh to anyone...he was so patient, and caring, and giving. He was never too busy to help...he always said that, and despite my mom being a doctor, that's what steered me toward pre-med, I think. Deep down, he made me want to help. As much as I love art, I knew I could do more to help people."
Clarke took one deep, steadying breath, and then another, when she finished integrating the butter-sugar mixture. "He was dedicated in everything he did. Whether it was caking his famous peach pies, or working at the lab, he always gave everything he had. He'd always tell me that there was no shame in failing, not being perfect...so long as you gave your all, and tried your best to be better, and saw things through to the end, that you could hold your head up high. So when I got into hockey, wanting to eventually make the Olympic team, he told me I might not make it, and that he'd still be proud of me no matter what, but that if I wanted it, I'd have to give everything I had. I did, and he taught me everything he could until it was time to join the amateur circuit. I don't know how he did it, juggling everything, but he did...he made so much time for me."
"And here you are." Raven noted with a smirk, whisking a bowl of dry ingredients. "We're half a season away from selection camp. Keep it up and no way you don't get an invite."
Clarke nodded and smiled down at her bowl as she beat in the vanilla extract. "It's why I still have this place. Don't get me wrong, he hated it, but it was a part of him, and...and I need to have that in my life until I make it. Until I finish what we started."
It dawned on Clarke then that despite the tears flowing down her face, she'd never been able to speak so freely about her dad since his death. She'd never been able to say more than a few sentences without choking up. Lexa had changed that weeks ago to an extent, and now Anya and Raven had managed to get her to talk at length, even directly about his death, and she hadn't broken.
It was all more than words could say.
"And you will." Anya stated as she poured Raven's dry mix into her wet ingredients and put her Mixmaster to work, returning Clarke's focus from her thoughts. "I won't pretend that I knew him, but from what you've told me, you carry on the best of him. That's something I think he would be proud of."
Anya nudged Raven towards the mixer and rounded the island to rest her hands on Clarke's shoulders. "He raised a wonderful daughter. He was a great man."Anya murmured, lifting a hand to brush the tears away from Clarke's eyes. "Tell me...what colour reminds you of him?"
Clarke let her head fall forward onto Anya's shoulder and let out a happy sigh, heart so full of love for the moment and utter acceptance her friends had created for her.
"Blue. His were a shade lighter than mine." Clarke spoke, prompting Raven to search among the mess of things on the island before lifting up a bottle of blue food colouring.
Clarke was quite happy where she was, but the feel of Anya's lips gracing her temple, the sight of Raven's eyebrows lifting in expectation, the woman shaking the tiny blue bottle, had her turning back to her duties at the island and taking the food colouring.
She got back to work and quickly had the milk mixed in as well as the food colouring. As she finished transferring as much icing as she could to the bags they'd use to decorate with, she spotted Anya rounding the island and pulling out her muffin tray from the drawer beneath her oven. Cupcakes it is, then... Clarke mused to herself as she beat the icing into a nice consistency. I wonder how Lexa's doing right now...
"So, are the cupcakes for...what...celebrating my dad?" Clarke eventually asked as Anya prepped the pan and began pouring the batter into the paper cups.
Anya let out a low chuckle as she quickly finished up the tray and handed it to Raven. Clarke watched Anya's smile grow and grow as she rounded the island again, those brown eyes softening with each step.
"Oh, Clarke..." Anya noted softly, one hand cupping her cheek and gently stroking it with her thumb. Anya's tenderness never ceased to stun her.
The sudden thick glob of icing smacked and smeared across the other side of her face reminded her that Anya also had a thing for hitting people in the face with anything and everything.
"...I was hungry." Anya finished cheekily, letting out a cackling laugh as Clarke's lips curled into an annoyed frown. Thankfully, after Anya's failed attempt at attacking Raven's face, the woman turned to her again from the other side of the island. "But seriously, no need to make tonight all sad and gloomy. It's important to mourn loved ones we've lost, but it's just as important to celebrate their lives, and how they shaped us and the world we live in."
Raven slowly and cautiously returned to Anya's side, not that her girlfriend seemed in the mood for another icing attack. "You're such a softie, sometimes." Raven mused, pressing a quick kiss to the hinge of Anya's jaw, taking a quick step back as Anya whirled around.
"You take that back or I'm going light on your cupcake's icing." Anya threatened, lifting her index finger to point at Raven in warning as Clarke closed her eyes and prepared for a bit of amusing mayhem.
Clarke didn't even have to watch to know Anya had made a mistake, the offended huff all she needed to hear to know Raven had sucked the icing off her finger. "Guess I'd better make up the difference then. C'mere..."
"You get your mouth away from my hands, Raven!"
"Can't blame a woman after you've been teasing me with them the last week."
"Raven, we are not alone!"
"Please, Clarke's literally had to endure Linctavia's super noisy sex a dozen or two times. She can handle you giving me some sugar."
"If you're not careful, Raven, I'll give you my impression of Sugar Ray Leonard."
"Learn something new every day. Okay, no mas! No mas!" Raven fired back with a laugh, making Clarke curious enough to open her eyes again, spotting Anya with her fists raised playfully, even if the frustration burning in her eyes seemed real enough.
Anya's eyes narrowed as Raven edged closer bit by bit, cautiously reaching out to take hold of Anya's fist that wasn't covered in icing. Clarke smirked at the display, knowing Raven's plan, but wanting to watch it unfold anyway as her friend unfurled and lifted Anya's hand to her lips for a kiss.
Clarke put aside her knowledge of Raven for a moment to fully focus on the sight of Anya melting from the gesture. She'd seen them snark and bicker at each other, and exchange sassy remarks, but she'd never been lucky enough to see the two in more intimate moments. It had her in awe as to how quickly and completely Anya turned into a wide-eyed human-shaped pile of goo from Raven simply kissing her hand. She really is hopelessly romantic...
So much that when Raven tried for the same with Anya's other now slackened fist, the woman offered no resistance. Clarke couldn't bear to watch, even if her curiosity was buzzing. The last thing she needed to be was a witness to a murder in her own home.
Clarke waited, each second passing exponentially slower than the last, until the sounds of a gasp amidst laughter alerted her that Raven's plan had succeeded. The following growl was enough for Clarke to know Anya would not let such trickery stand, even if it was exactly the same sort of prank she pulled all the time.
"Anya...Anya, no! Anya! Anya, put me down!" Raven yelled out, sounding more and more panicked, prompting Clarke's curiosity to force her eyes open.
Anya had Raven in a sort of fireman's carry, and Clarke could only stare in absolute shock as Anya literally launched Raven onto her couch and leapt onto her. "You wanted my hands?! You wanted my fingers, Raven?! Huh?!" Anya raged as her hands got to ruthlessly tickling Raven.
Clarke just laughed and turned back to the oven to watch the cupcakes and make sure they wouldn't burn. The night wasn't all she'd expected it to be, but she was happy it turned out the way it did.
At least, as long as Anya didn't kill Raven. They still had a long night ahead of them.
The feeling of Clarke's body going completely slack against her, and the room falling into silence, both had Raven letting out the quietest sigh of relief she'd ever managed in her life, basically putting an end to the eventful night the three of them had shared.
Frankly, Raven was surprised she'd managed to endure it all, from start to finish. The night starting off with a blizzard that had her worrying about Anya? That wasn't fun at all, and she'd been on edge for a while after her girlfriend had arrived, just trying to mentally shake off the nerves from the experience. It'd been a long time since she'd worried like that, she'd almost forgotten how deeply those fears could run inside of her.
Then came the intimidating factor she referred to as 'Clanya'; Clarke had grown to be mutual best friends with Anya in the span it took Raven to ask the woman out. She'd heard about their morning walks, their lounging in the dorm together, how they'd nap. She'd heard little bits about Anya comforting Clarke about some things. Not many details, but enough for her to know that Clarke and Anya were close.
And having never witnessed an intimate platonic friendship before might have had her worried that she wouldn't stack up, or that she'd be a third wheel.
Thankfully, it only took a half second to realize how happy the two made each other. Maybe under another context it would have been the gayest thing ever, but Clarke was like a sister to her, and was family to Anya, so it was oddly easy to view it as if she was dating her best friend's sister. It wasn't entirely accurate, but Raven figured it'd do until she could completely wrap her head around it.
Raven's mood had been soaring higher when Anya, perceptive as always, had poked a hole in Clarke's apparently transparent defenses and brought to light why her friend had called for the hangout in the first place.
Now, her father had left when she was young, so she hadn't had the same relationship, but Raven knew loss. And the last thing she wanted was for Clarke to have to deal with yet another reminder of what she'd lost after the hellish year she'd endured.
From there on out, Anya had been a damn sorceress, wielding humour and empathy and encouragement to keep Clarke on her toes, and focused on the good memories of her father. They'd play-fought a few times to get Clarke laughing, or at least amused. They'd baked cupcakes together, even if Clarke had been the one to ensure both trays came out nicely, her and Anya too busy fighting in the living room for that.
Or, well, Anya tickling her. An unspeakable event she was promised that Clarke and Anya would never speak of outside of each other's exclusive company.
Anya lifting her like she weighed nothing had been pretty fun, her strength seriously on display for that brief instance.
However, it had been Anya's complete strength that left her in awe, and which had Raven feeling very thankful for the bed beneath her, because the past hour had been a dizzying whirlwind, and there was no way her body would be able to support itself after such a revelatory experience.
She'd crushed on Anya for ages. Adored her fierce strength, her loyalty, her devotion, her intelligence, and her beauty. Hell, they were barely knee deep into their relationship, and by the end of the first date, she'd absolutely begun falling for her. It wasn't something she'd experienced often, just twice before in her life, but it was familiar enough not to freak out about too much.
But never in her life had she felt the urge to put a ring on it like she had when Clarke eventually, finally, after hours of reminiscing and storytelling, collapsed under the weight of her grief. It was a sensation that was at once wholly overwhelming and entirely desirable, even if it was low-key terrifying.
Raven let out a sigh and pulled Clarke's sleeping body tighter in her arms, still feeling shaken from seeing one of her closest friends fall apart like that. She'd seen Clarke cry a tiny bit when talking about her mom and her past back at their Christmas thing, and figured Clarke just wasn't one to shed many tears. Wasn't too out of the ordinary of an assumption, Raven knew her mom rarely ever cried, and if then, just barely enough to let a tear or two out.
So watching Clarke let out sobs that had her friend trembling and heaving and sounding so heartbroken? She'd frozen. Like hell if Raven had ever experienced anything like that in her life, and suddenly, she had felt out of place and like an intruder.
Anya gently edged the bedroom door open enough to slip through, carrying a bottle of water and a Kleenex box, this utterly serene look on her face as if all was right. As if Clarke hadn't just fallen apart on the both of them.
She'd been joking with the pet names earlier that night, but the one Anya had blushed over ultimately seemed to fit the woman. Angels were beautiful, merciful, kind, and watchful guardians, yet they would rain fire and brimstone on those that dared trespass against them and who they represented. As much as Anya's fury was public knowledge, she'd never seen the full depths of her girlfriend until tonight.
For that long, exhausting hour, Anya effortlessly cared for and comforted Clarke, and that was awe-inspiring enough, except for the fact that Anya insisted she join in. Not with so many words, or any words at all, but small, slight gestures, guiding her in how to help Clarke, how to calm Clarke down, how to reassure her.
Raven understood science. She understood machines. Sometimes, she could understand people well enough. But she'd never had to comfort anyone like that in her life, and Anya had walked her through it, all smiling and certain and patient. Raven had never been one to dream up much of a future, preferring to hold a few long term goals and take things day by day, but for about forty-five minutes, she had brief little glimpses at a future of her and Anya. A serious, permanent shared future.
Again, she had known about Anya, and the general deal with her and Lincoln and Lexa, and Anya essentially having to be a parent of sorts to them over the years, but in hindsight, she'd imagined Anya to have been more older sister, more 'mom friend' than 'mom'. However, watching Anya and Clarke, she knew this was all from experience. It was all something Anya had learned trial by fire ages ago, and the woman was all too happy to guide Raven through it by the hand, teaching her a lesson she hadn't thought she needed to be taught.
So maybe, just maybe, she'd wanted to put a ring on it then and there. And maybe, as Anya set the tissues and bottle of water up on the bedside closest to Clarke, maybe that thought was still bouncing around in her head. It was way too early, Raven wasn't a complete space cadet. Still, her parents had dated for 6 years before getting hitched, and her aunt and uncle got married after three weeks of dating. There wasn't some universal rule about time or whatever.
She just knew Anya wouldn't be ready, and that was cool with her, especially as her girlfriend settled back into bed and curled up against them, sandwiching Clarke between the both of them, her arm reaching over to rest on Raven's waist.
"You got her to sleep." Anya whispered with a smile so light and easy that she could hardly believe it was aimed at her. "She should sleep soundly for a while."
The familiarity in her voice piqued Raven's attention. She'd expected Anya had experience with, say, Lexa. "You been through this with her before?"
Anya gave a silent nod and pressed a kiss to the back of Clarke's head. "She bottles it all up. It's good when she lets herself have release. At least she'll be comfortable with more than just me, now."
Raven's eyes widened at the assertion. "You think she'd...go to me? Really?"
It didn't make sense. Anya was effortless, like a wizard with that kind of thing. Raven had felt clumsy, stumbling through everything her girlfriend had guided her through. "You're her friend. She loves you. I think she would."
Raven shook her head gently, careful not to disturb the blonde sleeping halfway on top of her. "Nah, you're too good at this stuff."
"It's not rocket science, Raven. It's just figuring out what works at making her feel calmer and safer. You know it now." Anya noted with a smile, curling closer against Clarke's back.
And okay, maybe she understood that much, but Raven couldn't imagine Clarke choosing her over Anya. Not when Raven was damn sure who she'd go to now.
"I used to joke with O about you, Lincoln, and Lexa putting a hex on us. Hell, I've crushed on you for so long, and when I started getting to know you it..." Raven started, feeling uncharacteristically in touch with her emotions, and she wasn't sure if it'd be right to waste that, as uncomfortable as it might have been. Anya deserved the truth. "I got excited. I just wanted to know more about you, and be around you more, and...after tonight, it's like so much of that's fallen away."
The sight of the smile falling off of Anya's face had a bolt of panic coursing through her, all of the words and syllables she could think of crashing together in a rush of something sensible as a lingering pained expression cracked and fell away to a hardened, resigned one. "Don't beat around the bush, Raven. I'm a grown woman."
Raven felt conflicted, wanting to move to Anya's side and physically express everything she was feeling, but she knew Anya wouldn't forgive her abandoning Clarke like that on the anniversary of her father's death. Frustrated, she pulled an arm free from Clarke's waist and took hold of Anya's hand, bringing it from the small of her back up to her lips for a kiss.
The soft expression she'd adored earlier didn't quite make an appearance, but Anya's eyes did soften slightly as they watch on warily.
"You're amazing. That's...I was trying to say that I was looking at you for so long and I was always missing something big, I just couldn't figure it out. But I see you now, and...and I know it's early. Too early, but...shit, I am so bad with words tonight." Raven finished with a barely restrained sigh, not wanting to wake the sleeping girl in her arms.
"You don't need them." Anya whispered with the kind of soft certainty that made it all so much more aggravating that she couldn't piece some simple language together. She'd designed a theoretically sound space-worthy artificial gravity well when she was seventeen, but somehow, she couldn't fully express how Anya made her feel.
It was mortifying. "No, that's bullshit. You deserve all the poetic and romantic..."
"You forget I'm the one with the interest in literature and poetry, Raven. I never needed your words." Anya interrupted, lifting a questioning eyebrow when Raven let out a disapproving scoff. "I'm serious. You're not a mystery, Raven. Try as you might to pretend otherwise, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Clarke finally letting herself be comforted isn't the only reason I've been smiling."
Raven swallowed hard as she studied Anya, not understanding why the woman couldn't be frustrated, why she couldn't be impatient, why she didn't ask Raven to start what she finished. "I don't understand you."
A tiny, bubbling laugh escaped her girlfriend, who nestled impossibly closer, enough to bring her arm down and wrap it around Raven's waist. It made for a tight fit for Clarke, but the younger blonde didn't show any signs of discomfort, but instead had a tiny smile gracing her lips.
"You will. You're an idiot, but you're a genius, too, so it shouldn't take long." Anya said before turning her head to yawn into the pillow. "But rest assured, I think I am too."
Raven's brow furrowed at the cryptic words, wondering if Anya just got like this when she was sleepy, because her girlfriend hadn't been making much sense since she walked back into the room.
"What do you mean? What do you think you are, too?" Raven asked, knowing she'd probably never sleep unless she had at least one answer to the huge array of questions piling up in her head.
Anya let out a happy hum as she lifted herself slightly, leaning over Clarke's sleeping body, her head a few enticing inches away. "Falling in love."
The three words didn't encapsulate all of what Raven felt, but just hearing them out in the open, knowing Anya was tumbling down the same path she was, had Raven feeling tremendously lighter. And despite the calm, easy tone Anya had spoken them in, she could see the hints of fear and uncertainty plain across her girlfriend's face.
Careful not to shift Clarke around too much, Raven knit her hand into Anya's hair and angled herself enough to cross the distance, their lips meeting in a tender kiss. With every press of Anya's lips, every nearly inaudible sigh or mewl, she felt all her worries fall away.
Maybe she didn't need words, at least not right then. Not when she could feel the same adoration and yearning in every tiny little movement, with every gentle squeeze of her waist.
There'd be time enough to say that certain four letter word without condition or direction. Time when they weren't having a cuddle party with Clarke, maybe, which was probably for the best. Anya deserved to be cared for the right way.
"If you want to wake up in time for one of your ungodly early walks, then we need to sleep, angel." Raven murmured against Anya's lips, letting her nose graze down her girlfriend's.
Anya pressed the slightest bit closer, smiling against Raven's lips. "Remind me to take you out tomorrow night for dinner."
Raven ran her hand through Anya's hair and lightly tugged at the woman's lower lip with her teeth. "And pub trivia?"
"So long as you buy your girlfriend dessert, I don't see why not." Anya added with a yawn as they separated, giving Raven one last kiss before settling back down against Clarke's back. "Sweet dreams, Raven."
With the knowledge that they would be going on another date, and the comfort of Anya sleeping at her side, even if Clarke was a sort of living barrier between them, it wasn't long before she drifted off, her imagination all too happy to conjure dreams of all the possibility she and Anya held.
A/N: So I've been working on this chapter for ages, and it's all been done aside from a single scene that's been brutalizing me every time I dive into it. And I've gotten some messages from readers asking about if I was still writing this, and I totally am, and I got to wondering if I could split part of the mammoth chapter into two pieces, this being a smaller one.
And, well, I made it happen. I've been making progress on that one leftover scene, but I've got a busy week, so I might not get it done in the next 7 days. Could happen, might not, but shouldn't be too much longer than that.
I had fun fluffing things up with Anya and Raven, Anya being a hopeless romantic at heart under her shell, and Raven just being hopelessly into Anya. Not much clexa in this chapter, but you'll see them interacting directly in the next chapter for sure. And chapter 16? That's where the serious fluff kicks in.
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!