DISCLAIMER: I do not own Emmerdale or it's Characters, they belong to ITV1
chapter 14/15
***warning*** NO AARON!
HI, this chapter was easier to write than the last one, and I hope you will find it easier to read as well! x
It'dawned on me that my stories are NEVER happy...I'm sorry about that!
MID- OCTOBER 2005
Jackson Walsh ate his breakfast in the kitchen at Joe's house.
Joe came through with a leather folder beneath his shoulder, Jackson raised his eyebrowes at him, Joe could certainly scrub up pretty well.
"Do I look like a lawyer...BE honest...", asked Joe, as he stood in the kitchen, Jackson shrugged at him from where he sat, " you're abit young and short...and baby faced, but..."
Joe was agitated as it was, " YOU know what I mean...I've got that interview this morning at Smitherson and Partners...they are looking for a fresh face...someone doing a law degree...THAT'S ME!..."
Jackson scraped his chair back and stood up, " you look FINE!...MORE than fine...they'll be lucky to have yah..."
Joe began making himself a brew, " thanks, but I wish I had your confidence...I envy that in you!"
Jackson laughed out loud at that, " WHAT!...it were ME who were bricking it a few weeks ago, when I came out to the lads at work..."
Joe stirred his tea, " but THEY are okay with it now...well some of them...is Andy still not talking to yah..."
Jackson sadly shook his head, as he pulled on his hoodie, and snatched up his rucksack, "nah, don't blame him though, IT WERE THE LYING that did it...it's a pity mind, because it's the last day on site...Ray's managed to line me up a job across town...Andy's going down to London...NOTHING LIKE putting distance between us, a..."
Joe downed his brew, and slipped on his smart suit jacket, " right, I'm fit... cheers for the lift..."
Jackson snatched up his van keys...well, when you say van...it was more like a rust bucket on wheels...a shabby white transit, that had more dirt stuck to it, than the actual construction site he was working at, and Joe was thinking very that, as he stepped out of the front door, and approached it.
Joe pulled the passenger door open with a screech, " I'm surprized this thing gets you from A to B, do me a favour yeah, don't be dropping me off at the front door!"
Jackson laughed, as he belted up, and turned the engine, the van chugged into life, he turned to him, " OI!...don't be dissing me van...it only cost me 300 notes, this!"
" yeah, and it shows mate!, are YOU SURE this is road worthy..." asked Joe as he watched Jackson pull out of the street, and on to the main road.
" COURSE it is!" answered Jackson, as he pulled up to the traffic lights, "it passed it's MOT and everything...AND I didn't have to wink to the machanic" he joked, " anyway, I had little choice did I...with Andy refusing to give me a lift anymore...I had to get something quick, didn't I"
Joe nodded, and pointed, " well drop me off over there...I give you a call later about going out to that new club in Leeds, and who knows, you might bump into that guy again!" he laughed.
Jackson stopped the van up onto the curb, " doubt it...anyway i'm not ready for that...", he put a hand on to Joe's shoulder, and smiled at him whistfully, "...alright mate, good look with the interview yeah"
Joe nervously smiled and jumped out, and within minutes the van was chugging on again up the road, leaving Joe to get to his appointment.
Xxx
Jackson had worked most of the morning on his own, of course some of the lads spoke to him, but others like Andy and Sean treated him like if he were a leper.
He supposed he had to get used to that...YOU really did find out WHO your real friends were...
At least his foreman Ray was okay with him, he was okay about him being gay, which was a plus for him, because Ray was sure to get him other jobs, like the job across town...maybe working further a field where no body would know him, wouldn't be a bad idea.
Not that it should BE like that...it was just for now...until the dust settled.
As he watched the finishing touches being made to the last house constructed on the site, his mother was approaching him, Jackson turned and smiled at her, since he moved out, he only had seen her once before, and had spoken to her a handful of times on the phone, when his dad was out down the pub getting smashed.
"you never said you'd be coming to see me today..."
Hazel sighed, as she stuck her hands into her coat pockets, " I was passing...look, can you get away..."
Jackson nodded, " I'm due an early lunch...and SEEING SINCE them lot are not speaking to me...they can't complain that I'm going early, can they..." he told her.
Hazel watched as Jackson removed his hard hat, and threw his aluminated vest into his van, he turned and pulled out his wallet from his back pocket, " come on...I buy you a tea, AND if you're lucky, a stick bun!"
Xxx
In the Cafe across the road, Jackson bought his mum a tea and as promised, a sticky bun...he brought them over from the counter, and sat down.
" I shouldn't really..." smiled Hazel taking her plate, " but they do look rather scrummy...", Jackson was already tucking into his, Hazel frowned at him, " wait a minute!...IS THIS your lunch!"
Jackson nodded, as he chewed through a mouthful of bun, Hazel tutted, " IS THIS what you do EVERY LUNCHTIME...go and stuff your face with rubbish!"
Jackson smirked at her, as he swished it down with a mouthful of tea, " KEEPS me alive!"
Hazel was not happy, " well, it looks as if I'm gonna have to be start making some sarnies for you again!"
Jackson pulled a face, " and HOW are you gonna be doing that...me DAD won't be letting yah, for a start!"
Hazel sipped her tea, " he 's not to know...I'll just say I'm making them for meself, that's all"
Jackson smiled warmly at her, and he took her hand in his, " thanks mum...thanks for caring...but don't be making life differcult for yourself..."
They sat in silence for a while, watching the waitress serve the customers at the counter, Jackson then focused his brown eyes on her, " so HOWS he been with yah...since I left...you never said last time"
Hazel shrugged, she white washed it alittle, " he's just your dad...you know what he's like...useless as ever"
"I saw him..." began Jackson, not really knowing he should tell her, " ...the other day...he were in the local"
Hazel looked up, this had taking her by surprize, " oh...he never said"
Jackson blew out a laugh, " i'm NOT surprized...cus I never went in...I just stood outside...across the road, staring...I thought about what you said that day...that he might come round..."
Hazel was puzzled, " but you said you saw him...", Jackson shook his head, " he came out...he was drunk as a lord, mind...and he were staggering up the street...and...and he saw me", Jackson's eyes darted from her and back to the tea and bun.
Hazel wanted to have hope...but it was dashed, " he never saw you, did he..."
Jackson raised his eyebrowes at her, " oh he SAW me alright mum, he just looked straight through me...as if I were invisible"
Hazel wanted to say, give him MORE time...but there was no length of time that would soothe Jerry...to him, they had no son...and he had said that on more than one accasion...she decided to keep this quiet from Jackson.
"so...you're STILL at your friends place..." she asked, changing the subject and taking another bite of her bun, Jackson leant back in his chair, " yeah...it's been 4 weeks now...Joe hasn't said owt, but I do need to get out his hair...get a flat or something...sort me self out properly"
"and...things have got better at work..." she pressed, the last time they had spoken on the phone, Jackson had said he had had some stick at the site.
Jackson beamed her a wide grin, " well I haven't got anymore more black eyes or cut lips, so yeah...it's okay I suppose..."
Jackson's mobile then sung to life on the table, Hazel winced at the noise...he sure still hadn't let all this business affect his horrible taste in music...if music was what you would call it.
Jackson picked up the phone, he was quite surprized who the caller was; CRAIG CALLING...
He answered straight away putting the phone to his ear, " Craig!...what...shes...she had it...", Jackson's eyes looked at his mother, Hazel was trying to work out what was going on.
"is...is he okay...the baby", this grabbed Hazel's attention, baby!...that only could mean one thing...
"cheers for letting me know...and you", Jackson ended the call, Hazel sat quietly as long as she could, but she was fit to burst, " HAS she had it then...my grandson", her eyes all wide, eager for him to tell her.
Jackson nodded, " yeah...couple of days ago...Craig said he would have contacted me earlier, but it was differcult"
Hazel had her tongue in the side of her cheek, " she has NO right...keeping the birth from you..." she started, feeling annoyed.
Jackson shrugged, " she has...the way I treated her...SHE doesn't want me to have anything to do with it so...just leave it yeah..."
Hazel fiercely shook her head, and snatched up her handbag, " NO Jackson!...", she pointed her finger at him, " YOU are that babys father...YOU have rights!...don't you even WANT to go see it...what he looks like..."
Jackson waved out his hand defending himself, " COURSE I DO!...but I'm NOT welcome mum...and it's not fair on Sarah, causing her yet more grief"
Hazel was not having it, " no...you are going!...I want to see that boy, even IF YOU don't...he's MY grandson!"
Jackson DID want to see his new baby son...but at the same time he didn't want to cause yet MORE hassle...especially after last time they saw each other, with feelings running so high.
Hazel stood up, and practically removed the mug from Jackson's grasp, as he was about to take another gulp, " come on then, DON'T just sit there...we have to get to that hospital..!"
Xxx
It was an hour later, and Jackson and Hazel sat in the van, in the hospital's carpark.
"I REALLY don't think I can do this, mum..." Jackson whined, the butterflies in his stomach were now doing ten to the dozen.
Hazel turned, " just take a few deep breathes...IT WILL BE FINE!...she can't keep you away, even if she's tried!...now come on, get a grip" she opened the passenger door with a screech.
Jackson saw it slam shut, and he leaned over and pressed the lock in, after taking in a few deep breaths, he jumped out of the van himself...it was now or never...
Xxx
Sheila cooed over the baby as it laid in the cot of the special care unit.
She turned her head to see her daughter drag herself forward...her hair hung lank around her shoulders, and she looked exhausted, " I think he wants another feed..." her mother announced.
Sarah looked up, the bags laying heavy under her eyes, " what...MUM!...will you just leave it...it'll cry when it wants something..."
Sheila was shaking her head, " that's not what the midwife was saying...she said..."
"SHE said this...SHE said that!...why don't you just shut up...and give me a break...you are ALWAYS fussing!"
Sheila ignored her daughter, she had been stressed out since the birth, and turned back to to look at the little mite in the cot, "alright then...maybe try in a while..."
Sarah came to her side and looked down at her new son, "actually, I just want to go home..." she said
Sheila nodded, " no...you have to STAY for a couple more days until you heal, trust HIM to give you a baby that that was breach!" she told.
Sarah thought about Jackson, the father of her baby boy...the GAY father of her baby boy...he didn't even know the baby was born...she hadn't told him...hadn't rang or texted him...as far as she was concerned, he could stay away...
Craig was then at their side, " alright..."
Sheila turned, " see if you can get YOUR sister to feed him...i'm going to get myself a cuppa", Craig nodded, and watched his mother walk up the corridor, readying a token coin for the machine.
Sarah turned her head, " WHY can't you just keep away..."
Craig looked about them, fearing their mother was back and listening, " look...WHATEVER happened between me and...IT can't effect us...we are family...YOU said you were fine with it..."
" I WAS...sort of...until I gave birth, now or I can do is think about HIM!...and then I think about you...and then HIM and YOU together...touching eachother..."
Craig could see the disgust on her face, " Sarah...please, look...you won't have to see me around for much longer...Kyle got that job on the south coast...a place called Chichester...it's abit dead, but it's better than round here!"
Sarah turned, " do you really think that buggering off to Essex is going to make me forget...", Craig stared at the baby, sleeping in the cot, " it's in Sussex actually...AND yes I think it will help you...you can focus on him...the baby, without ME around giving you reminders..."
Sarah was bitter, " so you AND Kyle can play the happy couple...", Craig snapped his head round, " HE KNOWS!...I told him...he knows about...what happened in his kitchen that day...he was angry but...Sussex is a fresh start for us...the baby will be yours..."
Xxx
Jackson and Hazel walked up to the desk in maternity, the receptionist wasn't exactly any help to them, but she wasn't the biggest of their hurdles, Sheila was making a beeline over to them, from the coffee machine...and she had the biggest scowl Jackson had ever had the pleasure of seeing on her.
Hazel glanced at Jackson, " here we go..."
"YOU'VE got a flaming nerve showing up here...WHO told you!" demanded Sheila.
Hazel was about to let slip Craig, but before she could even start to get the name out, Jackson jumped in, " I rang up...some dappy reception let it slip!...anyway...it's me right...I AM the father, after all"
Sheila shook her head, she looked as she could spit on him, " MORES the pity...that POOR boy, stuck with a father LIKE YOU!"
Hazel stepped in, and pointed her finger, " now you listen here sweatheart, MY Jackson has EVERY RIGHT to see his boy...you can't stop him...isn't that right Jackson..."
Jackson turned to see that his mother was glancing up at him, full of hope that he was going to fight with her.
Jackson then looked toward Sheila, and that scowl...that look of disgust...because she was BOUND to know everything!...he felt ashamed.
Jackson breathed out a sigh, " yeah...yeah I am..." he finally managed to muster, Sheila laughed out loud, " BLIMEY!...it sounds like he REALLY IS putting up a fight...BUT WE ALL KNOW that he'd be far much happier kissing other men and hanging around toilets!" she spat with sarcasm.
Hazel stepped in, again, " YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, MY JACKSON ISN'T LIKE THAT!"
Sheila spat at her, " THEY ALL DO THAT!...IT IS DISGUSTING, HE'S DISGUSTING"
Hazel was shaking her head, " look here sweetheart!, US BEING HERE, has nothing to do with what he is...he wants to see his son...I WANT TO SEE MY GRANDSON!"
Jackson heard his mother and Sheila start abit of a spat, and a nurse had to shush them up, in the mean time, Jackson disappeared into the gents, he'd had enough of hearing them pair argue...he just needed to think things through...decide whether it was THIS he actually wanted, and not just his mother rail roading him along...at least he could get 5 minutes alone...
Xxx
Craig had left Sarah to finally feed the baby, he stepped out of the special care unit, and saw Jackson in the corridor...he was looking straight back at him...
" Jackson..." he whispered, he had tipped him off earlier that Sarah had had the baby, but didn't think he'd have the nerve to show up...Craig felt the feelings stir in him...he was the man he loved after all...it would NEVER be Kyle...but he and Jackson could NEVER be together...not in this life time anyway...maybe sometime in the far future, who knows.
But what he thought was him staring back at him, and thinking the same thing...he was in for a disappointment, when he realised he was actually looking over him...
Craig turned...
And saw Sarah standing there...with the baby in her arms...
Please review and tell me what you think :)