Two Weeks before the Wedding…
That evening, the Sand siblings—along with Shikamaru—were seated at dinner, discussing plans for the rehearsal dinner.
After a lengthy argument between the groom and bride-to-be—with Gaara mediating—it had been decided that the rehearsal dinner would be held at the Akamichi Barbeque & Fine Dining; it had the option for a higher-class atmosphere that Temari had been hoping for, yet the food was relatively inexpensive which suited Shikamaru perfectly.
Once that was decided, the bride and groom browsed through the Barbeque's main course menu; they'd already chosen three courses for the rehearsal dinner but as usual, they'd gotten into an argument and as a result, the main course was still undecided.
Kankuro stared across the table at Shikamaru and Temari, rolling his eyes as the two bickered.
"Sheesh; if this is what getting married is like, you can sure as hell count me out."
Gaara was seated at the foot of the table, arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed in seeming-meditation—a hint of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
"Oi, where the hell is Matsuri anyway, isn't she supposed to be here for this? She is the Maid of Honor after all."
Gaara peaked an eye open at the mention of her name but otherwise, there was no reaction from the redhead whatsoever.
"Oh she and I discussed things earlier this week so it's fine; besides, she had a mission today so I wasn't expecting her to be here."
"A mission?"
It was Gaara's solemn voice that broke the momentary silence.
Temari eyed him with a raised brow.
Kankuro barely stifled a chuckle.
"Yes, she's actually been enlisted on the Volunteer's list; Naruto—er Hokage-sama seemed eager to have her help with some of the A and B ranked missions; seems most of the Jonin are out on A and S-Rank missions and some of the Chunin groups are consequently left without a team leader. She volunteered six months after she was here and it seems to be good for her; gives her lots of experience."
Kankuro gave a hum of mild interest while Gaara merely stared intently into space, the place between his eyes furrowed as he concentrated his thoughts.
Sensing his brother's brusque change in demeanor, Kankuro glanced at him. "Gaara? What is it?"
"Nothing. I simply—perhaps it is missions that have been keeping her preoccupied then."
A look of confusion flitted across Kankuro's face and he looked to Temari for an answer.
"Is everything alright with Matsuri, Gaara?" Temari phrased the question carefully, having a pretty good hunch what her brother was thinking, but not wanting to give anything away yet.
"I am not certain; we—had a disagreement. A week ago and she's—seemed different, more withdrawn I suppose."
"You think she's avoiding you?" Kankuro questioned, lips pulling into a frown as he observed his brother.
"Perhaps…I can't seem to get her to tell me exactly what is wrong; she tends to not give me a direct answer or she avoids the question altogether."
"Well, Matsuri is…rather sensitive and she's also a very private person." It was Nara speaking now. "Sounds to me like you just need to give her some space."
"The last time I gave Matsuri 'space' she left Suna eleven months ago, without a word." Gaara snapped.
The room went silent, all eyes trained on the Kazekage who now seemed less than relaxed in that moment.
Sensing the tension, Gaara unclenched his fists and settled back into his seat. "Forgive me, I—I am simply having a bit of a—troubling time with this situation."
"I hear you, women are troublesome, even if they're—ow!"
He rubbed the sore spot on his ribs and glanced at Temari who was burning holes in him with one of her famous death glares. "Can it, idiot; the last thing Gaara needs is your incompetent advice on women."
"Honestly, Gaara I don't get why you're stressing over this; Matsuri's been gone a long time like you said and seeing you after all that time is obviously gonna have her nerves ruffled so just give it a rest."
"Kankuro." Temari warned in a low voice but her brother ignored her.
"…Ruffled nerves?" Gaara rolled the words around in his mouth awkwardly, his face betraying his obvious confusion. "I—I don't understand. Why should my presence have Matsuri feeling—ruffled?"
"Oh man, this is pathetic…" Shikamaru drawled, shaking his head at his future brother-in-law."
Kankuro paused mid-chew, feeling his brother's pensive jade eyes burning into the side of his face. "Uh…well I mean com'on; you know with how she feels about you and all, it's just not a surprise—"
"Kankuro!" This time, Temari hissed, drawing the attention of the Kazekage who was getting more and more confused by the second.
"How—how Matsuri—feels about me—?"
"Oh for gods' sake, Matsuri loves you, you idiot." Shikamaru exclaimed in an exasperated sigh.
The room fell completely silent and then there was a gasp as Temari stared in horror at her fiancé.
"Shikamaru…" Her voice was barely above a whisper.
"Look, be pissed at me, Temari I don't care; I'm tired of this whole thing—Matsuri loves him but she ain't got the guts to tell him because he walks around not having the damndest clue what the hell that word even means! It's about high time someone spell it out for him and as you and Kankuro clearly have no intention of ever doing so, well it's left up to me I guess."
"You…you had no right, Nara, damn it, Matsuri's going to be furious when she finds out, not to mention mortified!"
"Well sobeit, at least it'll be out in the open, over and done with."
"I can't believe that you'd—"
"…Loves me?"
The bickering duo fell silent and once again, all eyes turned to the redhead.
He was staring at the table, deep in thought until he raised his eyes and stared at them. "I—I know that word has—some semblance of meaning to me…" His hand strayed to run across the blazing red Kanji on his forehead. "But I am not entirely certain what that meaning entails, I—I have never really considered it."
"It means she feels for you the same way that Hinata feels for Naruto." Shikamaru offered, further ignoring the incessant glaring from his fiancé.
Gaara's jade eyes snapped up to clash with Nara's piercing black ones. "There are different kinds of love, Gaara; like the love that Temari and Kankuro have for you and each other—that's sibling love; you can't stand each other sometimes, yet you know that family will always be there no matter what. The love you have for the people of Suna is like the love of a parent, a guardian; you would do anything to protect and keep them safe and you work your hardest to provide them with the best future they can have; you always put them and their needs ahead of your own."
The room had grown intensely silent as each occupant listened intently to the strategists words; Temari had nearly forgotten her anger, so entranced she was by her fiance's in depth wisdom on such a subject.
"The love you have for your friends is that of comradery; compassion and mutual understanding. You are strengthened by the support and loyalty of one another, hence the bond grows stronger."
The Nara prodigy paused and for a moment, a look of intense affection warmed his features as his dark eyes found Temari's face. "The love that Matsuri has is the strongest and most intensely fierce of them all; it's when you see that one person and all you can think about is how much they've changed you. You can't seem to grasp what your life was like without them, you find yourself thinking about them every waking second and even when you lay your head down to sleep, their face is the last one you see before you close your eyes. You get so consumed just by the sight of them that you find you can't think straight, can't even breathe and all you hear is this damned furious pounding in your chest, like your heart's screaming for them but at the same time, it's terrified because that person has the power to break you with just a single word or look. It's intense, it's confusing and you lose sleep over it—sometimes you even cry yourself mad over it, especially when you don't know if that person could ever feel the same way about you as you do them."
His eyes had never left Temari as he spoke and the blonde kunoichi found herself speechless with a lump of increasing emotion rising in her throat.
"When you're near them, it's worse; you've got so many emotions running around and thoughts in your head, you can't think rationally and that's when things start to get crazy. You can't control how you think and sometimes, you can't even control how you act—all you can do is feel and that feeling burns so intense sometimes, you lose yourself in it and your whole body just aches to be as close to that person as possible. But if they don't feel the same and you don't have the courage to tell them how you feel, you just feel miserable then." At this moment, Shikamaru's gaze finally broke away from Temari and he stared the Kazekage straight in the eyes. "You aren't just loving them…you're in love with them and it drives you insane when you keep it all bottled up inside. It gets you to the worst level of misery you could ever experience and believe me, it's far worse than any physical pain you or I have ever endured."
Gaara was speechless for the longest moment and his calm, composed exterior had finally cracked as he stared at Shikamaru with wide-open eyes and parted lips.
"That. Is the kind of love that Hinata and Naruto have for each other and it is that kind of love that Matsuri's had for you. Sure, it was probably just a silly little fangirl crush at first but then she watched you grow and come into the man that you are now; she watched you sweat, struggle and bleed for your people, she watched you die and then she watched you come back and triumph. She's seen every possible side of you there is to see, Gaara; if anything, Matsuri is the only person who knows you perfectly and completely more than anyone else, even your siblings."
Another pause of silence and then Kankuro spoke. "It's true, you know."
Gaara turned to look at him.
"She's always watched you, paid attention to you when no one else gave it a second thought and during the war, there were countless times that she had your back; out of every other shinobi in all of Suna, Matsuri was always the one there, waiting at your side. Hell, even when Temari and I were still scared of you, there she was begging you to be her Sensei, fearless and undaunted. That girl…that woman's the bravest one I know, Gaara…and Shikamaru's right, she loves you. She always has."