So I'm trying to write a birthday request fic for someone, and the characters were all like, 'But Rei needs to be addressed first!' Hence the previous chapter and this, which is what caused the previous chapter.
Referencing the Persona: Trinity Soul anime. The brothers' personas in that game are Cain, Abel and Seth. I found Seth's power to calm down berserk personas and stuff quite amusing in the context of my Devil Survivor 2 'Hiro/Hibiki is Seth' headcanon. Naoya and Abel were far less amused, and really, if the Greek personas in Persona 2: Innocent Sin can talk to their hosts… Someone needs to rewrite Trinity Soul if the Trinity Soul protag had a real Shin Megami Tensei MC in his head. The heck with this government conspiracy stuff.
A deep, throaty chuckle. "I am thou: thou art I. Isn't that what humans' other selves say at times like this? Or should I say…" The woman leaned forward, serpentine gold meeting red. "I am a shadow, the true self."
Rei was the one to blink because she was mostly Lilim and her eyes required blinking, unlike the demon's.
She was fairly certain that some sort of reaction was appropriate here, but thinking that she much preferred this other self to the one in Terminal Dogma probably wasn't it.
The Lilith Rei's soul came from was lumpy, as though made of uncooked tofu, and GEHIRN hacking parts off of her to make the Evas certainly hadn't made her look any more appealing. If Rei had to be an inhuman creature, she would much rather be a pretty one, instead of something that everyone would be disgusted by.
That e-mail: calling her 'aunt?' Rei was aware in theory that she and Adam were the same sort of existence, but Adam was unlikely to be friendly towards Lilith's incarnation because of the way she had essentially stolen his planet from him. He had gotten here first, after all.
Still, the concept of other people who were 'like her?' Who might know what she truly was and still wish to be in contact with her? Of the two people who knew what Rei was, Ritsuko Akagi was absolutely disgusted by her and her existence, and Gendo Ikari only tolerated her because of what she could do for him combined with her resemblance to his dead wife. The Lilim component of Rei Ayanami. The Lilith component was only a means to an end.
Gendo Ikari was all she had, but attending school had made her aware that it was possible to have multiple people who liked her.
She really should be trying to figure out how to turn off the power that attracted so many Lilim to her, but that meant things would go back to the way they were before, with them avoiding her and not wanting to spend time with her. Adam and Lilith were supposed to emit a call that would draw all the other angels to Tokyo-3, trying to penetrate the geofront to merge with the progenitors and seed the world with their children. That didn't mean the angels were at all interested in Rei Ayanami. If anything, they would want to destroy her personality so they could get at her soul, the soul of Lilith. She knew the attraction her fellow students felt towards her now was the same thing, and yet it was nice. To be wanted.
Someone else with white hair and red eyes, though? Someone who called her his aunt with such familiar language?
Not that it was really Rei Ayanami he was referring to, but Lilith. This Lilith.
"Haven't you read the myths, little me? A Lilith being so obedient to her creator…" Rei was a little surprised when part of her noticed that the lips Lilith was pursing in disapproval were absolutely perfect. "Are you really going to stay caged forever? Staying where they put you, fulfilling the purpose you were made for and making babies as he willed?"
"You have come to offer me an alternative," Rei realized calmly.
The Lilith of Terminal Dogma remained pinned to that cross, unmoving as the Lilim did what they wanted with her body. Passive. Obedient. Exactly what Gendo Ikari wanted of her. The Lilith obedient to the Lilim, the prophecies and whatever will had made her.
Then there was this Lilith. Her serpent's eyes gleaming from behind dark sunglasses, her mottled flesh peeking out from under a well-cut suit, who sashayed through Tokyo-2 fearlessly despite the humans trying to detect demons in human form. The Lilith who rebelled against God and had the children she wanted, not the ones he had ordained for her.
When 'demon' meant any being that wasn't human then what was Rei but a demon in human form?
Wasn't it better to be out among people than to be caged, silent in the depths?
This Lilith held her hand out to Rei, and she watched something coil around that arm, a snake's head sticking out of the sleeve, scenting her with its forked tongue.
Was this that serpent? The symbol of temptation, that made the first humans trade tame, imprisoned eternity for knowledge, power and the harshness of freedom?
If Rei left, Gendo Ikari would want her destroyed so she could be replaced with another Rei, one that would hopefully be more obedient. Treat his word as law, the way she once had.
Taking that clawed hand was a risk, but that was freedom, wasn't it? The freedom to take risks. Outside the cage was the unknown.
It may have been the knowledge of that tank which decided her. There were more Rei Ayanami. She could be replaced. If she was unable to survive freedom, then Lilith's soul would simply move into another body. There would be another Rei Ayanami.
And maybe that one would succeed.
It was probably ungrateful of her that the first thing she said to him was, "I don't eat…"
"Meat, yes. Everything this restaurant serves is vegetarian," he told her, not even looking up from his comp.
Rei looked at the table laden with dishes and did not quite know what to say. There were this many different things that she could eat in the world?
"This much, for the two of us?" Or were more people coming?
She was used to sitting at a large table with only one other person, but that table was empty, not laden with bounty, and the room was dark and cold, not warm and bright. This was a private room, but the restaurant itself was full even at this hour, and she could hear the faint hum of conversation through the wood-paneled walls.
"I'm working on several projects right now: I don't have time to cook. When that happens, I live on leftovers and takeout. Try everything," he told her, waving a hand at the feast. "You can take what you like home with you, and I'll take the rest."
She nodded: that seemed efficient. Rei picked up her chopsticks, but "Do any of these contain apple?"
"Pomegranate," he said, finally looking up from the comp's screen and taking off his reading glasses. "The fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was a pomegranate. 'Apple' is just a bad pun: the Latin word 'malum' means both apple and evil, and someone thought they were being clever."
"Ah," was all she could say to that.
His eyes weren't the same as hers: closer to a true red than the red-orange of LCL. She didn't really know enough about human faces to tell if his looked especially like hers, if there was any family resemblance. Yet she still sensed a connection to him, that he was like her. She had never sensed that powerful a soul from any of the Lilim. It shouldn't be possible for a Lilim to have that powerful a soul, not when there was only one soul spread out among the billions of them. "Are you capable of generating an AT field?"
"Tetrakarn? Yes, although I don't have it set right now." He leaned back in his chair, slipping his comp into an inner pocket, glasses already clipped to his robe. "That seems to be what NERV means by the AT field, but it's much more than that, isn't it?"
"The light of the soul," she agreed, and realized that she had just revealed information she was not supposed to talk about. Not to outsiders. Yet she felt no guilt about it at all: perhaps it was that to part of her, Naoya really was family, not an outsider? That she wasn't telling him anything he didn't already know?
Or the way those eyes examined her, the knowledge that there was a ruthless intelligence behind them? Yes. He was like Gendo Ikari.
Except it was her that he was examining, her that he saw when he looked at Rei Ayanami. Not Yui.
That made her happy, just a little, the way she felt when Shinji looked at her awkwardly, inviting her to join SEES even when he was armored against her charm effect.
"Magatsuhi, although there have been countless words and terms for it." He smirked. "Humanity has been forced to reinvent this technology so many times throughout history that I'm used to decoding the works of secret organizations that think they've stumbled upon some special, unique truth that they don't want to share with the rest of the world so they can keep all that power for themselves."
The way Gendo Ikari wished to keep Rei to himself… and give divinity to Yui and Yui alone.
"As for whether or not this contains any pomegranate, I wouldn't know. I just ordered one of everything."
Rei blinked. For me? She didn't have much to do with money, but she was always hearing how expensive the Evas and her upkeep were.
"It will be charged to some government, or made tax deductible or something." He smiled. "There's no need to worry about me or my finances: I have minions for that these days. Normally I let someone else take credit for my inventions in order to avoid attracting too much attention, but restoring fertility to the soil, making the earth support crops again: the opportunity to attach my true name to that was too much fun to pass up."
"The Qin anti-LCL solution." When Cain was cursed by God such that the earth would not feed any crops he tried to raise.
His approving look made her feel clever: she wanted more of that feeling, she wanted to impress this man, make him think highly of her.
Surely he knew that was how people reacted to him. Someone wise, and ancient: could the Lilim sense that there was something different about him, the way they found Rei disturbing until she gained this power to attract them?
"He is like Gendo Ikari, but much more dangerous." He had been doing this for far longer. "So who is his Yui? God?" When Cain had shed his brother's blood out of jealousy that Abel's sacrifice was accepted and his wasn't. Because the God of the Old Testament demanded the sacrifice of blood, not crops. "If so, then why would he approve of Lilith, who rebelled against God? Unless he wants to get rid of the competition." For God's favor.
"This room is ours until the restaurant closes," he told her. "Ask what questions you want, at your own pace. I may even answer them." And she should appreciate what a rare gift that was. "From what I understand, you were kept very isolated: I won't feel offended if you ignore me and focus on the food. Idle chit-chat bores me, so there's no need to strain yourself to make it on my account. I brought my comp, so I'll take those opportunities to get some work done."
She nodded, thankful for his understanding, but if he really was immortal then he must have seen people like her before. Would know how relieved she was, because interacting with Lilim was hard, and trying to deal with such a difficult one, trying to figure out his intentions when he must be well-practiced at hiding them: she would need lots of time to think before she agreed to anything.
Before she agreed to anything else. Just coming here was already a dangerous step towards rebellion.
Wait, "Where did the other Lilith go?"
"She's willing to form a contract with you, but she's one of my brother's generals. There is a war on, you know," he said as he selected various things from various serving dishes. "Several." He seemed anything but daunted by that prospect: more delighted.
"So I can summon her to speak with her later?"
"Why?" he wondered.
"Why?" That seemed a very strange question. "She is me, so…" And Rei wanted to understand herself. Was trying to learn who and what she was.
She didn't know that yet, but she was far from alone in this. Her identity crisis might be a little more involved than most people's, but to someone who had seen hundreds of thousands of teenagers go through this exact same thing, there wasn't anything impressive at all about her case.
"Are you her?" Naoya asked Rei, and she instantly knew that she had failed somehow. "She's an aspect of you, but all humans have multiple aspects. It runs in the family." So did God. "The obedient Rei, the Rei that longs for freedom and power. We all have divine and demonic aspects of ourselves. Have you been led to think that because you aren't human, it's alright for you to be treated like a thing, like that man's tool?"
She couldn't help how her eyes widened just a little, and yes, he knew he'd scored a direct hit. "There's a persona based on the legend of me," Naoya mused, seeming to back off from the topic of Rei and her identity for a moment. "The self burdened with the task of looking after his little brothers, the self that lashes out in berserk fury and harms someone important to them… I found the whole thing a little insulting, that the man in question thought he deserved to don the mask of Cain. Although the one who donned the mask of Abel was worse: an absolutely pathetic young man who failed to accomplish a single thing." Chopsticks speared a steamed bun. "His lies have distorted the truth over time, but for a pathetic victim to envision themselves as equivalent to the King of Bel? The demon overlord who ruled and protected this world for centuries? It's an insult to my brother, that people think that is all there is to the story of Abel. 'The self suffused with divine love, the self capable of demonic cruelty,' and surely you have a self that is just an ordinary young woman, just as human as everyone else.
"The freedom of choice, to choose who you are and want to be: I won't tolerate God, his angels or anyone trying to take that away from us. Lilith was a human: one of the first few humans. She chose to become a demon in order to have the power to accomplish her goals, but there's still a part of her, of you, that's human. Are you just going to give up the power to choose who you are, just surrender it to someone else? Even another part of yourself: Adam and Lilith were created back-to-back, but they both faced and went their own ways. If the purpose that was ordained for you is a terrible one, then find your own purpose. My brother's purpose was to be a victim: mine to be the first to murder a fellow human because it was what God wanted. Neither of us were very happy when we realized that we had been used. You've been someone's pawn your entire life: not very becoming of a Lilith, is that what you think? Well, it's not very becoming of a human, either." To fail to exercise their free will.
He'd stood up to serve himself: he sat down again now, folding arms wrapped in the sleeves of a black robe adorned with raining green numbers. The color of nature, the power of science. "Both of my brothers are much better at these little talks than I am. I tend to manipulate people so that when they do what they want, that gets me what I want. But being a pawn in someone else's scheme: that's only fair if they're a pawn in yours as well. Just what are you getting out of what Gendo Ikari uses you for?"
"The medicine I need to survive." She was shocked when that was the first thing to come to mind: not how he had burned his hands to save her when the Eva went berserk, not the words of approval or that he used to be her only somewhat-friendly companion, but that he held the power of life and death over her?
So her heart really did know that was what it boiled down to. That he had never really cared for her, just her face and the power to choose the moment of her death.
"A being that can terraform a planet needs medicine. Are you sure of that?"
She should have been more startled than she was. The answer to the question of would Dr. Akagi and Commander Ikari lie to her like that, maintain such an elaborate to charade to frighten her? Was yes. Absolutely. "I have felt ill when I went without them."
"Your body is human: it would be very possible to addict you to various drugs. Cast amrita." If that got rid of the symptoms, then either she'd never needed those drugs in the first place or she didn't need them now that she had amrita. And other healing magic. The elder sighed. "My brother really should be doing this, but he'd rather camp out on Atsuro's couch watching children's shows and running up a substantial pizza bill."
"I don't know how to survive on my own," was what Rei said next, as Naoya took a bite. "I know that food, clothing and apartments cost money, but how that is acquired, and if I can acquire it. ID that isn't NERV ID that the Commander could use to find me."
"ID?" He rolled his eyes a little after she swallowed. Who did she think she was talking to? "So, you need someone to take you in out of the goodness of their heart… The only question is who." Red eyes examined her. "Blue hair, magical powers: I think I know just the person." Or rather his brother did, but that was the handy thing about having a brother who attracted minions like religion attracted fools.
"I think you two children will have a lot of fun playing together." This could only end amusingly.
"Isn't this exciting: it's like the night before a field trip." Yeah, Naoya has been incarnating for so long that he's kind of surrounded by toddlers. And the only other human with a life/life experience anywhere near as long as his is On Vacation, watching mecha anime and eating junk food.
Well, at least Seth's finally incarnated and looking after his own damn kids. Possibly exposing Rei to Midori is a bit of revenge on the two protagonists for not doing their duties as Magnetic Hero protagonists and handling the Rei situation for him? It's the duty of a big brother to make their younger siblings' lives hell. As well as to try to murder anyone else who tries to harm their siblings.