Chapter 13 Come Sail Away

Disclaimer: I activate my trap card!
RT: I summon the rights to RWBY!
Lone Wanderer: Damn, the one thing I don't own!

AN: THE LONE WANDERER IS BACK BITCHES!
Little confession to make. I started this with actually little to no intention of even completing it, or even writing a 2nd chapter for that matter. But I saw so many people like this, and not lonely that, but even love it! So thank you all so much. It's your support that drives me to write this. This is a fic that I hope one day you can go back to laugh, to smile, and to just lighten up your day, even a little. I kinda screwed up at some parts, so I will be doing a slow edit on each chapter, revising it to a much better quality. THIS MEANS MY ASINE GRAMMAR.
Also, for the record, my Hasta La Vista baby was an unintended pun. I'm just that good at them. I'm like the pun edition of Eminem. (Pun God)

Questions!

"Is there going to be a public Beacon graduation?" Yes, and no. I see it as 2 ceremonies. One personal to Beacon and one available to the public. Think of it as receiving a military promotion.

Now onto the chapter! *Jumps out the window*

Meep fanmeepster: Damn it, that's the 5th window this week.

Jaune and Ruby woke up lying in one of the beds in the Nurse's office. Jaune groaned as he got out of the bed. Looking around he saw the Doc looking at them, curiosity in his eyes.

"Oh, you two are up!" The nurse said as he went to their side. "You two took a little nap. Do you remember what happened before you passed out?"

"Well…I had the meeting with Ozpin, and then I rushed to make it here-"

"Still he was a little late" Ruby interrupted, cracking her neck as she stretched out.

"As I was saying, then you did the test and told us that you two were having twins"

Twins.

Twins.

Two.

Whole.

Babies.

Jaune quickly felt like he was going to faint again, and Ruby herself didn't feel so good.

"Well, aren't you two just lucky" Doc said cheerfully, unaware to the young adults panicking "You get double the experience! Just think about it, you get to pick out two names, two different colors for the room, and so much more!"

Both teens to began to go into a mental breakdown. Jaune found himself curled up in a ball in the corner, while Ruby was pacing around nervously.

"Two?!" She said as she raced from one side of the room to the next "I can't even handle one! But TWO! AHH!"

Doc, realizing the panicking soon-to-be parents. grabbed the hyperactive huntress and pulled the moaning Arc out of the corner of depression

'Okay Mr. Arc, Ms. Rose, deep breaths, in, out, in, out." Doc said in a steady voice, having the two young hunters mirror his actions, slowly seeing the two return to a sense of calm "There, now you're both calm enough to consider the fact that you are having twins."

"What did you just do?" Jaune asked "Because I would really like to learn how to do that if I'm really am going to have two kids."

Ruby nodded in agreement "Yeah, or maybe I should try that when I'm trying to deal with Weiss and one of her rants…"

"HEY!"

The young Schnee randomly called out in the middle of the Beacon library, causing everyone in there to hush her.

"What was that all about?" Blake asked, not even looking up from her smu-I mean mature romance novel

"My Schnee intuition sensed a disturbance in my name…" Weiss said looked around franticly, looking for the perpetrator, but to no avail.

"...I need a vacation after this. A nice long vacation away from everyone…" Blake said to herself as she went back to her por- IMeanSwordCatalog

Doc looked at the two "Oh, trust me, you two will be getting very acquainted with them! They're breathing exercises for when giving birth!" The purple coated nurse smiled happily "You can learn more at my course I'll be teaching over the summer for expecting couples!" He said, shoving a pamphlet in there hands.

Pregnancy for Simpletons: Sponsored by the SDC.

"Huh." Jaune and Ruby both said, flipping through the pamphlet.

"Wonder if we could use Ice Queen to get us a discount?" Wondered the blonde knight as he eyed the price.

"Probably with the bribe of her being a godmother to one of them" Ruby stated, knowing that she would probably act similar to how she did with the

Doc looked at them both with a grin "So, will I being seeing you two, or, well, four later?"

Ruby and Jaune looked at each other, then gave the doctor a solid nod.

"Great! I have this whole plan to involve a gluten free, eco friendly, sugar free diet-"

The Lion of Beacon stood before the grounds of his old territory. That ballsy bastard had outsmarted his teammate, both his daughters, and had thus proven to be a worthy adversary. Surely he needed to up his game. He would not allow this to go any further, but he had to get his priorities straight for the moment though. He had to watch his two baby girls graduate from Beacon. Then castrate the cursed boy...

Jaune fidgeted at the uniform given to him by the school. The blue and gold graduation clothes seemed to want to personally suffocate him, the tie was nearly impossible to get right. These cursed uniforms...Why couldn't he just graduate in his good ol' hoodie and jeans? The last day of school had flown by so fast, and to the seniors, it seemed like only yesterday that they entered Beacon's halls. Finals craze was done and over with, and with it came the emergence of what many consider the greatest senior prank ever done in Beacon. Yang herself held the prank with a sense of pride, going far as to call it her little baby. Even said it could play with Ruby's little squirts when they come. Needless to say, Yang had a wanted poster in the teacher's room. Glynda did not take kindly to a prank of the level Yang pulled off. Most students find that just mentioning the Blonde Brawler sent the teacher into a foul mood.

"Need help?"

Jaune looked behind him to see Ruby, in the woman's graduation uniform, with the addition of her signature red cloak.

The Knight gave her a grateful nod "Thanks. I swear the whole point of the male uniforms is to strangulate the wearer"

"Hey, at least you don't have to hide a pregnant belly! With Twins!"
Jaune shrugged. She had him there. "Oh, about that….My parents... They're coming to the graduation. In fact, they kinda brought the whole Arc clan." Jaune said, scratching his head nervously.

"ALL OF THEM!?"

"Yeah, all 7 older sisters. Jane, Joan, Julie, Jennifer, Jewel, Jessica, and-"

"Let me guess. Something with a J?" Ruby asked.

Jaune laughed "Nope. Why does everyone always guess that? No, Aurum."

The reaper slapped herself on the face. "Of course. Please tell me your sisters are better than Weiss's sister. She's just plain scary" She said, visibly shuddering form memories of the elder Schnee.

Jaune eyes began to trail off. "Well, they aren't as much as...uptight? Yeah, uptight as the Ice Queen Sr, but the entire Arc family is a bit… expressive. Anyway, speaking of families,what have we heard of your dad from Yang?"

Ruby stayed silent for a good solid minute. "He'll be at the graduation, but don't worry, Yang and Uncle Qrow have a plan!"

Ruby looked him dead in the eye. "How doomed are we?

"Well...I mean, there is always the off chance-"

"Don't beat around the bush."

"Let's just say that it's more likely for the Nora to become serious and become the next Goodwitch than we have of an uneventful graduation."

Ruby sighed in defeat "Normal knees..that's all I ever wanted? Was it that much to ask for?" She said to no one in particular.

"Hey, I have a plan!" Jaune exclaimed "...well a percentage of a plan"
"What is the percentage?" She deadpanned

"Okay...maybe like 12 percent… actually it's more of a concept really?"

The soon to be huntress face palmed. This was going to be a long, long (Xaio) long graduation.

The families slowly flooded into Beacon, families and civilians from all over Remanent came to see the next generation of Hunters move on. To some, it was a heartwarming moment of seeing their loved ones become the new defenders of the kingdoms, to others it was a moment of hope for peace and for the future. As for those graduating for most it was the moment of a lifetime. It was the moment that their training ended and their lives as huntsmen and huntresses began. For a certain goodwitch however, it will be a night of paperwork and headaches; after all the lion is stalking his prey and the lion will not be stopped until he has his prey's 'head' on a stick. As for the prey, well his only hope is that his friends and family will be able to save him from the Lion. But now was not the time for that. Now to many was a time of peace, pride, and-

"JAUNE! WHERE'S MY LITTLE BOY!"

Mrs. Arc, a rather pretty looking woman for her age, with short brunette hair and green eyes, looked all over the Beacon courtyard for her only son.

One of her daughters looked to her "Mom, I don't think he's here…"

"NONSENSE!" bellowed. A mountain of a man, the head Arc stood at towering at 7 ft 3, with a head so bald it sparkled, with a mustache of gold that rivaled Peter Port's, and seemed to draw attention like a rogue paladin mech running down a highway. "MY SON IS MERELY WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNE TIME TO SHOW HIS FULL SKILLS TO THE ARC FAMILY!"

All 7 Women looked to their father, facepalming, as everyone was now looking at them with weird looks.

"Dad, you do this everywhere we go…" Spoke Joan, the eldest of the children

"Joan, stop criticizing your father and focus on finding your brother" said as she continued to scan the large crowd of families and students

Julie, the 4th child, rolled her eyes "Mom, I'm sure that with Dad's little introduction, finding us will be easy…"

"Yes, but you know how Jaune is… always winding up into dangerous situations. I swear, that child always manages to attract trouble. Then again, it's probably genetic, I mean when I was your age, I always seemed to be getting into one problem after another-"

Droning their parents out the way they learned from Beacon (Thank you, Prof Port) the sisters quickly began to hunt for their brother.

"Ren, come on! What do you mean I can't bring a sloth with me to the stage! Jaune said it was okay!"

"That's because you literally had a table underneath him."

The sisters turned their heads to see a rather...eccentric… redhead holding a giant stuffed sloth(?) with a man wearing a long green garb with raven like hair with a magenta streak.

"Excuse me, did you say Jaune? He's our brother, we're looking for him." Spoke Jessica, the middle child.

"Know him?" Exclaimed the energetic redhead "Why, he's our fearless leader, silly! So you must the sisters he's always mentioning!"

"What she means to say is yes, we are his teammates" Said the raven haired boy
"Oh, so that must make you...Nora? And your boyfriend must be Ren, right?" Joan asked the two students

"Oh, we're not together-togethe-" Ren started but was cut off by Nora.

"Yup!" Nora said with a nod "Now, last I saw our fearless leader I think he was over in the dorms. Something about his doom. Now come on Ren!" And with that, the redhead grabbed the poor boy by the arm, leading him off to god knows where to do god only knows what.

With that Joan and Aurum decided to go to find Jaune, while the rest of the Arc sisters returned to watch their over parents before they got into any trouble or humiliation.

Finally making their way to the JNPR dorm, the sisters were shocked to see a human shaped hole into what seemed to be their brother's dorm. Looking through, Aurum and Joan saw their brother panicking.

"-I mean,they will kick my ass! Not to mention the frying pan!" Ah, nothing new here. Jaune always did seem to find trouble.

"It won't be that bad, now come on! We're gonna be late" Spoke a female voice. It couldn't be Jaune's partner, Phyrra, they saw a hoard of fans surround the champion. The women looked at each other with wide eyes. Jaune and a girl? Joan and Aurum leaned in closer

"Just let me enjoy my last few moments of living. Your dad and my parents will kill me by the end of the day."

"You got me pregnant, it's not like you seriously assaulted me or attacked me."
"YOU DID WHAT!?" Jaune and Ruby turned around to see Aurum and Joan standing behind the yang shaped hole with the look of murder in their eyes.

"Um...hey Joan, Aurum...heh heh..long time no see…" Jaune said, shaking where he stood "how have you...I'm screwed aren't I?"

Both sisters gave their brother a solemn nod.

"-and that's the story" Jaune explained as his sisters glared daggers at him and Ruby.

Joan was the first to speak "You do realize, that failing to notify us, your own family Jaune, has made this all the more trouble for you."

Aurum snorted. "Yeah, you'll be lucky if mom doesn't cut off your dick and kill you with the frying pan and tell your children your tale to scare them straight."

"Please Jaune's sisters-" Ruby started

"Aurum and Joan" They corrected the reaper

"We already moved past this. It wasn't any of our faults. We both didn't know it was alcohol, and we both accepted the responsibility of both our actions. Even MY sister has moved on!"

"And your father?" Joan said, her eyes holding a look similar to that of Professor Goodwitch

"...We're working on it" Ruby fell in defeat.

"Look, if you could just keep this a secret from the rest of the family for at least graduation." Jaune pleaded to his sisters. "We just need to make it through our graduation into huntsmen then we're golden."

"Alright, fine we'll go with it, BUT after graduation ends you WILL be telling the others, got it?" said Aurum

"Got it" replied Jaune with a defeated look.

"JAUNE!"

The young knight was caught off guard as he was tackled to the ground. "OW!"
"Oh Jaune, your mother missed you soooooo much!" The mother Arc said as she gave Jaune a crushing bear hug.

"Lungs...LUNGS!" Jaune choked out as he began to see lights.

"Sorry, I just missed my baby boy soooooo much!" Mrs. Arc said as she finally released him from her death grip.

"HE'S NO LONGER A BOY ANYMORE DEAR, HE'S NOW AN ARC MAN IN HIS PRIME!" Boomed the ever so loud Mr. Arc as he gave Jaune a hardy pat in the back...a bit too hard, sending him flying forward into the hoard that was his sisters.

"Jaune!"
"Sup bro"
"Meet any girls?"
"Still a virgin?"
"Come out of the closet?"
"Have you seen my dress I wore to my dance at Beacon?"

Ruby watched from a distance as the poor boy got bombarded by his family. It was a heartwarming wild scene. She was always happy with Yang and her dad, but to see Jaune with her siblings. It also made sense how he was able to adjust to team JNPR's and RWBY's antics so easily. With a family like that, one must expect the unexpected.

Finally calming down the hoard Jaune called his family, and getting glared by Aurum and Joan, gesturing towards Ruby from behind Mr Arc's towering form.

"So Mom, Dad… I have someone to introduce to you…"
"IsItAGirl?" Mrs Arc said, her eyes going wide as she looked around for said girl, Ruby silently giggling inside.

"HAS MY SON FINALLY FOUND HIMSELF A WOMAN WORTHY OF CREATING THE NEXT GENERATION OF ARCS!"
"Don't be silly dear. I would castrate Jaune with my frying pan if he ever got that far in Beacon, especially since I didn't raise no dirty tuckers…"

Jaune immediately paled to a near Schnee shade, and his mind and courage backpedaled out the window. "No-no-no-no-no, she's just my fellow leader, Ruby Rose! Come here Ruby!" Aurum and Joan both facepalmed at their brother's failed attempt.

In a flash, the Crimson Reaper rocketed over to the large family "It's a pleasure to meet Jaune's family. He talks about you guys very often."

"Mom, I think Jaune has something to tell you about-" Joan started but was cut off by Momma Arc

"That's my little boy! Please, call me Soleil [1], and any friend of my son is a friend of me!" Mrs Arc said, shaking Ruby's hand with extreme vigor.

"THANK YOU FOR HELPING MY SON AT HIS TIME IN BEACON! YOU ARE TRULY A REMARKABLE YOUNG LADY! SURELY A GIRL LIKE YOURSELF WILL HAVE GREAT THINGS IN THE FUTURE!"

Ruby turned as red as her cloak at the praise "Oh, I'm not anything special...I'm just a normal huntress..."

"NONSENSE! I'VE KNOWN OZPIN FOR YEARS AND I KNOW HE DOESN'T CHOOSE HIS LEADERS RANDOMLY! WHY, I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS PUT ON A TEAM WITH MY DARLING WIFE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!"

30 years ago…

"Headmaster Ozpin, what teams do you suggest I order the new students into?" asked the assistant headmaster at the time, a young man by the name of Coeur Al'Aran[2] asked the coffee addict, who honestly looked no different back then compared to today (he'd swear it's the coffee)

"That, my dear friend, is what I do best. Just try to use their initials as acronyms and use whatever forms the closet to an actual word, then whoever's name is in the front is the team leader." Ozpin said, sipping from his ever present mug.

"But Sir," Started the Coeur "That doesn't make any sense! The teams are completely random, at best, and the leadership would not nessarsarilly fall into the hands of the most able; it would be a complete shot in the dark! It doesn't make any sense! Especially considering the fact that the students will be working with these arrangements for the next 4 YEARS!"

"You done?" Ozpin asked calmly

"...I think so" Coeur panted

"All out of your system?"

"Yeah."

"Here have some of the Teacher's special brew. You'll see things in a whole new light, I promise this much" Ozpin said with a small grin, handing the man a mug of steaming caffeinated goodness

One of us, one of us, one of us, one of us-

Present

"HE IS TRULY A GENIUS!" Bellowed Mr Arc.

Somewhere off campus, Glynda sneezed.

"Bless you Ms Goodwitch" Ozpin said, as he drank from his mug

Glynda merely shivered a little "I just felt someone say something horrible."

"Maybe some coffee to ease your mind"

"Ozpin, I told you this once, and I'll tell you again. I'm a tea person. Get your damn grinds away from me."

Damn

Taiyang Xiao Long stood on the opposite side of Beacon campus, talking with his eldest daughter

"I can't believe my little girls are all grown up! Now where's Ruby, and better yet, the bastard who knocked her up! You, me, and Qrow are gonna kill him! Well that is if Qrow can at least get his drunk ass together."

Yang scratched her head nervously "Ruby's um...busy getting ready! Yeah! I'll have her over here soon! As for the target he's...been missing. I would have searched longer, had it not been for finals and stuff"

"Why don't you bring me to Ruby? I can't stand having her out of my sight any longer!"

Yang mentally gulped. "Um okay Pops, just give me a minute, I want you to meet my partner, Blake!" She said, grabbing Blake, who had been sitting nearby reading her book without a care in the world. Giving Blake a desperate look, she turned to her dad "Blake, meet my old man-"I AM NOT OLD"-"Hush, yes you are. Pops, meet Blakey. Now you two go meet one another while I go grab Ruby" Yang said, bolting off in the other direction, leaving Tai and Blake standing there.

"So…" Blake said. "You ever wonder why we're here?"

"Dunno. Isn't it one of life's greatest-"

Ruby's conversation was caught off mid buzz as her scroll began to vibrate. Looking at it, she saw a message from Yang.

Bumblebee69: The Lion is coming towards Flower and Knight, I repeat, Lion is coming! Plan Fiesta now!

Ruby eyes grew in shock, but quickly masked it.

"Sorry about that. Jaune and I gotta go get ready soon, but first let me show Jaune this thing my sister sent me"
"What thing?" Jaune asked, genuinely curious and lost

"You now...the thing! Just look!" She said, shoving her scroll at the dense knight.

Jaune saw the message and paled several shades for the 2nd time that day. "Um, yep we gotta get going now, bye mom, bye dad, bye sisters!" Leaning in closer to Aurum and Joan, he whispered into their ears "My last will and testament is underneath my pillow. My bed is the one on the far right." And with that he bolted off, with Ruby in tow.

"Wait! Jaune do what is our plan for getting around dad?" Ruby asked once they were a safe distance from the dorms

"Surely, in order to get past a veteran hunter, I'll need a crafty disguise." Jaune said "Unfortunately, all I have is my sombrero"

"Alright Yang, where is Ruby? You've been literally leading me in circles!" Tai said with slight agitation

Yang merely faked confusion "You know, I coulda swore I was going the right way… Man, you think there would be some sort of sign. Maybe a distinguishable landmark or something? " She shrugged "Oh well"

Tai rolled his eyes, only to see a familiar red cloak in the corner of his eyes.

Rapidly turning around to where he saw the cloak, Tai's eyes widen when he sees a Ruby running towards the graduation hall in her beacon uniform with Crescent Rose on her back, followed by a tall skinny male figure

"YOU STOP RIGHT THERE YOU DAUGTHER DEFILING BASARD!" Tai screamed, sailing across the courtyard with a raised fist, but stopped dead in his tracks as Ruby stood in front of…

A mexican in a large sombrero and holding a guitar

"Dad! Stop!" Ruby exclaimed, flailing her arm like crazy "This isn't him! In fact, I think he moved to Canada!"

"But Canada is not real" Tai said with suspicion clear on his face. "And who's this guy?" Gesturing towards the shaking hispanic

"Mi Nombre es Juan Marco. No Ingles" Spoke the man

"He's your...um…-"

"Your surprise mariachi band player that Ruby and I got to surprise you! I know how much you like your cultural music, but unfortunately, this was all Ruby and I could get! Now I need a moment to make sure he has the right song. He doesn't understand english that well." Yang said, then grabbed said player by the back of his shirt, leaving Ruby and Tai standing.

"So...Canada's not real? Then where did Ein go? I miss that old Corgi. He would love Zwei!"

"Um...ya see Ruby...um…." Tai trailed off. God, how did he break this to Ruby?

"A MARIACHI PLAYER WAS THE BEST COVER YOU HAD!?" Yang whispered-yelled at the Arc in disguise

Jaune shrugged "Hey if it ain't broke, don't fix it! It worked on you!"

"What do you mean it worked on m-you son of bitch, that was you?!" Yang growled "You know what that doesn't matter, because now we have to get you through graduation intact."

"And what's your plan?"

"Wait, I thought you had a plan?!"

Jaune scratched his head "12% sounded like a lot more in my head"

Yang facepalmed. " Alright...know any Spanish Tunes?"

Thankfully, for both Jaune and Tai (Weiss vouched that the father was spared from a horror later) an announcement rang through the speaker system.

"May all students please report to the auditorium? Graduation will begin in 30 minutes. Do not be late. Also, on a side note, if any parents sees any graffiti on campus of the...male type...report it to Professor Goodwitch as soon as possible. Thank you."

"Well that's convenient" Jaune said, heading off towards the auditorium..or at least, he thought so.

"Wait, what do I tell my old man!?" Yang called out to Jaune.

"Come up with something!"

"-And that's why the mariachi player had to cancel." Yang finished explaining to Tai. Jaune said she had to give a story, so she gave her dad one all right...Don't mess with the Yang or you're gonna end in a bang.

"Wow. I can't believe he had to go bail the rest of his band from border patrol." Tai commented.

"Yeah, now Dad,Yang and I REALLY need to get to graduation...Like, right now…"

Tai slapped his head "Oh yeah, you girls go ahead! I'll be in the first row!"
Yang and Ruby ran ahead, racing towards the auditorium. "So, wonder how long dad's gonna be till he realizes that Rose and Xaio Long come in the last of the alphabet Yang said while grinning.

"Yang! That wasn't very nice!" Ruby said, attempting to scold her, but failing

"Heh, I can't help it, my last chance to give dad grief as his little girl."

Tai stood in the courtyard, feeling a sense of pride. His girls had grown so much. Now if he could only remember where the auditorium was….wait, what did Ozpin say about male type...wait, did that mean...no, she wouldn't, Tai raised her better than that.
Turning the corner, Tai looked over for the map of Beacon, only to see that over the glass casing, a huge dick was spray painted over it.

"GOD DAMNIT YANG!"

At last, graduation was here. The room was filled to the brim with proud teachers, crying parents, observing citizens, and nostalgic veteran hunters. The chatter in the hall fell to silence as Ozpin walked up to the microphone and started his speech.

"I'll… make this brief… I forged this generation, with a dream. To make the guardians of humanity, that would not only defend humanity from the evils of the grimm, but correct the mistakes of past generations, mine included. I am proud to say, that I can proudly pass the baton of the world's protection, to this new age of hunters and huntresses. I'll now have the Valedictorian, Ms Nikos, take over from here." Ozpin finished, fixing his glasses, then walking off stage, as Pyrrha approached the mike where Ozpin left it.

"Before I start, I would first like to thank the teachers of Beacon for teaching us all so much. From Dr Oobleck's lessons of history we can learn from the mistakes of the past. From Professor Goodwitch, we learned the values of discipline and combat, and with Professor Port...We learned patience. So thank you, all so much for your time and effort. We as the students, can only give you our deepest gratitude for all you gave to us." At this, Glynda started rubbing her eyes.

"Glynda, my dear, are you crying" Oobleck asked her

The deputy headmistress merely shook it off "I'm not crying. I merely just caught something in my eye. Now hush she is still talking!"

Pyrrha continued her speech "Beacon will always be our home, a place to many that served as a new start, where either a champion fighter could meet the hero descendent, where the past was the past but as this chapter closes, another opens. Destiny is calling each one of us, to do our part, to make Remnant a better place. So we stand together, as a Beacon of hope for the future!"

"THAT'S MY GIRL P-MONEY" a voice called out from the student section
"GOD DAMNIT YANG!" another voice hollered from the parent section.

Finish her speech as the audience erupted into applause, Pyrrha walked off stage, Glynda taking her place.

"Thank you very much Ms Nikos, and both Xiao Long's, if I hear anymore from both of you, I will deal with you personally after this." She said, glaring daggers at both blondes. "Now, I will begin to hand out your diplomas. It will begin in alphabetical order, so please be patient. Let us begin."

Meanwhile, in the family section, the Arc clan, or more accurately, Solheim Arc was in a state of excitement.

"My little boy is about to become a hunter!"

Joan and Aurum, however, where trading looks

"Should we tell her now?"

"Nah, if our brother's luck is anything, then it should happen in 3…"

Glynda cleared her throat. "Now to begin the list"

"2"

"May I get Jaune Arc. leader of JNPR, to receive his diploma"

Jaune felt himself filled with pride. Walking up, he took his diploma from Professor Goodwitch, and shook her hand. However, he felt like he was forgetting something…

"And 1"

As if on cue a loud"YOU DAUGHTER DEFILING BASTARD" Tai roared, bolting on stage "YOU KNOCKED UP MY PRECIOUS ROSE!"

Joan turned to her mother, only to see that her eyes have dilated to a predator like glare.

"Get me my frying pan…" She gritted, the Fearsome Arc of Death returning to action.

As Jaune ran off stage for his life, Tai and his mother most likely behind him, he only had one thought.

YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT QROW!

Ozpin stood by the window, his mug in hand. The graduation always left him in a bittersweet mood. To see the next generation move forward filled him with a sense of pride, but also filled him with regret, knowing that not everyone in the room would return over the years, but that was just a possibility, and as much as he hated to say it, these students, were no longer the children that first entered his school four years ago. Now they were warriors, trained to fight and die so that others may live.

"Let me guess, you're brooding Oz"
"And you've been drinking." Ozpin said, turning around to see Qrow, his silver flask in hand.

"You kiddin? I'd be crazy not too, what with all the chaos going on out there." The ashen haired huntsman said as he took a drain from his flask. "Poor Jonah-"

"Jaune"

"Whatever, anyway, the poor kid's probably having his balls torn off simultaneously by both his mother and Tai. Poor kid won't stand a chance."

Ozpin took a long draw from his mug and groaned "Shouldn't you be down there stopping such a situation from happening?"

"Shouldn't you be down there as well?"

"I probably should be there…" Ozpin said "But something important came up. Besides whatever happens I'm sure Glynda can handle it. It's just that I've been wondering, did we really make the right choice with Mr. Arc? The knowledge of our inner circle. The last person we introduced turned on us, and Mr. Arc has a future with your niece. I truly don't want to send another one of Ms. Rose's loved ones to their death."

Qrow took a solid drain from his flask, but found it was empty. Letting out a sigh, Qrow put a hand on the old headmaster's shoulder. "Look, Oz. We've been over this, and we've all had our guilt on Summer's death. She knew damn well of the dangers, and no one could have made it on time to save her."

Sighing Ozpin looked at Qrow with a somber smile. "Yes… We can only move on and hope for the best, that the new generation will have the wisdom not to make the same mistakes as the last."

Mercury sat at the bar, the stench of alcohol strong on him. Work for him was hard after Cinder got taken out by the damn headmaster's pet bird. He was a mere shadow of his former glory, the large rise of caution caused him to practically hug the shadows. No more high end jobs, no more big purchases, he didn't even have his former allies. His so called "friends" had hightailed it out when they saw the head of Cinder Fall fall to the reaper's falling scythe.

What good was an assassin when there was no one to assassinate?

Getting another drink from the bartender, Mercury let out a groan. His father had made him into a weapon, and here he laid, rusting in a bar drowning his regrets and misery with a bottle.

"Like father like son, it seems" Said a voice behind him.

Bolting up into a sloppy battle stance, Mercury turned to face the stranger. "Who the hell are you and how do you know my dear old dad!?" He shouted, his voice full of drunken rage.

"At ease assassin" Spoke the stranger, a tall masculine figure whose face was covered by a dark hood. "I mean you no harm. Only to bring to you an opportunity to change this...destructive path."

The silver haired boy let out a scoff "HA! Last person who said that kind of thing now has her head being used as some trophy, no doubt decorating someone's mantle."

The stranger shrugged this off. "I am nothing like your former boss. She was nothing more than a careless woman who manipulated her way to power. Calculating as she was, it did not save her. She could have had it all, but one slip up caused her demise at the hand of that blasted old bird, Qrow."
Mercury rolled his eyes "Oh yes, and I assume you would do sooooooo much better, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Ominous?"

"I have several armed men surrounding all exits to this building. The bartender, as ordered by me, has slipped a mercury poison into your drink, that I have the cure to. Furthermore, I have several snipers in nearby buildings that have you in their sights. You are left with very few options, Mr. Black. I would suggest that you take my offer." The man stated.

Mercury eyes went wide in shock, but then quickly hid it. The first rule any assassin learns is to never let the client get you off guard; this is a show of weakness and in the underworld the showing of weakness can and, most likely, will get you killed. "Yeah, and how do I know you're not bullshiting me? Any fool can bluff"

"And any person with a brain knows when to show a flush. Oh by the way, you should feel the poison kicking in right about...now" The man said, looking at his watch.

Mercury steeled himself, but then nothing happened. "Ha, I guess you were wrong, jacka-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" Mercury was cut off as his chest exploded in pain. Curling on the floor in pain, Mercury gritted his teeth. He refused to let this asshole get the best of him.

"Hmm...Guess the lack of legs must have messed with the transfer of the poison into the bloodstream. Anyway, Time is ticking . You can either join me and see yourself make history, or die in pain, on the floor of a bar, with no allies to call your own. The choice is yours."

Mercury groaned in pain. Being Cinder's little lapdog had some fun to it, but look where that got him. Then again, this man obviously knew how to get an edge over a person, and his options were rapidly decreasing.

"FINE!" Mercury spat out. "I'll be your little soldier, just give me the damn cure!"

Mercury couldn't see it, but he bet the man was probably grinning as he drew a vial from his cloak. "Right choice Mr. Black." He said as he handed it to Mercury. Spitting out the cork, the assassin downed it all in one gulp like a man drinking water after coming out of a month in a desert. The pain slowly fading, Mercury stood up.

"Alright asshole, just don't pull that shit on me ever again, or I will fucking kill you"

The man turned towards the door "Oh trust me, as long as you follow orders, you won't ever find yourself looking down the barrel of a gun. Now come along, Mr. Black, I have some associates that I believe you're rather familiar with…"

'Well, down the rabbit hole and into goddamn hell itself.' Mercury thought while following the man out the door, leaving the bar empty

Omake: The Beacon SUPER SLAM Steel Cage BOOTS TO ASSES!

Ozpin looked and the filled stands. This was a great idea for a fundraiser, and Glynda couldn't tell him otherwise. This was a brilliant idea; just have the students do what they do best and have them pay to watch and televise themselves beating the crap out of one another in an over the top bragging way.

"Ozpin, out of all your ideas, this one is by far the worst one yet" Glynda said from behind Ozpin as the tall man took a sip from his ever present coffee mug.

"The only bad ideas are the ones that are never tried. Now do you have any bets Glynda?" Ozpin merely stated.

The huntress let out a groan and muttered under her breath

"10 lien on Ms Xiao Long"

"Welcome students to the event that happens only once in a lifetime, the first ever Beacon SUPER SLAM" Oobleck announced from his PR box, Port sitting right next to him.

"Yes indeed, and what a fight we have today. In one corner we have the young knight of Beacon, dubbed lady killer by the female crowd, descended from a line of legendary warriors. This man will defend his short title of Beacon Super Slam champion this night in the ring as he takes on 6 fellow students in a steel cage chutes and ladders and put boots to asses! AND HIS NAME IS JAUNE CENA!'

A blast of horns started playing as the lights focused on Jaune, who still seemed to be lost. What exactly did the Arc agree to?

"Hey, so where do I get my weapons?" Jaune asked looking around the arena

Ozpin, who was acting as referee, looked to Jaune. "You will not be using any weapons. Only your natural talents."

Jaune thought about this. It couldn't be all that bad, he did learn unarmed combat form Pyrrha, who could kick Cardin's ass like it was nothing, so it couldn't be that bad… However, his thoughts were interrupted as Port began to announce his opponent.

"AND in the other corner, enters his Opponent. The Blonde Brawler,

The Raging Canadian,

The Golden Fister,

The Pundertaker,

The Nutcracker,

The one, the only,

MACHO HUNTRESS YANGRY SAVAGE!"
With a sudden burst and an "OH YEAH!", Yang broke through the ceiling, landing in the arena, the crowd silent except for a slow clap and a guy calling out "Super hero landing!" from the back of the stands. She was wearing a large bandana covering her scalp, and wore large sunglasses, and seemed…hyped to say the least.

"What" Jaune merely stated, his mind still try to understand what was going on.

"Let me tell you something, Jaune Cena, Oh Yeah" Yang stated, a certain kick in her voice as she walked up to Jaune. "The Macho Huntress is gonna take you down, oh yeah, because I'm the light that comes out of the toaster when a bread is toasted, you have the crust and you got the bread but you don't got the macho huntress, so you don't have anything at all, OH YEAH!"

"What?"

"But that's not all, oh yeah, I'm the cream of this league, oh yeah, and I'm gonna rise above the rest, because I'M THE CREAM OF THE CROP!" Yang threatened, as the crowd seemed to explode with excitement.

"What?" The poor Arc asked.

"Alright, any questions before the match begins?" Ozpin asked to the two

Jaune raised his hand "Um, yes, what is –"

"THEN LET THE MATCH BEGIN!"

Ozpin seemly disappeared out of the ring, leaving a confused Jaune. Looking around the only thing the Arc saw was a hyped up Yang…who was cracking her knuckles. Oh Oum he hoped his aura would help him live through the slaughter that was about to happen.

Turns out, it did. Yang literally ending up tiring herself out on flashy attacks that consumed nearly all her aura, leaving her too tired to fight, causing the match to end in a draw. Yang came out looking exhausted and Jaune…well Jaune's face looked like a it had been used as batting practice for the entire Vale Griffball Team, The Orange Bellied Bastards. Getting out of the ring, Jaune looked around frantically, calling out into the crowd.

"ADRIAN- I MEAN RUBY!"

Jaune was immediately tackled to the ground by said huntress, in a bear hug, followed by a yelp of pain from him and a sorry from Ruby.

As the crowd began to explode, the headmaster turned to his assistant.

"That's 10 lien you own me Glynda." Ozpin said, the ghost of a grin on his face as he sipped from his signature mug.

Glynda facepalmed and rolled her eyes.

Afterwards, Oobleck and Port stood outside the arena, asking questions to the audience. Holding a microphone up to one his students, Ms. Belladonna, they asked her a question.

"Ms. Belladonna, what are your opinions on the fight tonight?" Port asked, stroking his mustache with pride.
Blake merely glared, annoyed by being distributed from her reading. Finally grabbing the microphone, she simply spoke "Wrestling is fake" dropped the mike, then walked away, leaving both teachers with their mouths hanging open. They were even more shocked to see the Macho Huntress come in and pick up the fallen microphone.

"Um… MS. Yangry Savage, do you have anything to say on tonight?" Oobleck asked the blonde brawler, only to be taken back by a loud shout from Yangry Savage.

"I HAVE BEEN CHEATED! OH YEAH! I HAVE BEEN CHEATED BY THE HEADMASTER OF BEACON HIMSELF!"

1: Jaune's mom's name is french for sun. I would have tried yellow in french, but turns out, IT IS JAUNE! YET ANOTHER SNEAKY COLOR NAME RT! First Weiss Schnee being Snow White in German, now this! I'm onto you….

2: Coeur Al'Aran is the writer to the famous fanfic, 'Professor Arc'. I personally find it to be the most hilarious RWBY fanfic I've read, and just couldn't resist writing him in as the Gylnda's predescor. What happened to him for Glynda to replace him, you might ask? The answer is simply …[insert to be continued]

AN: BTW, I wrote this all to Rick Astley's Never Gonna Give You Up.

GET RICKROLLED!

BetaReaderNote: This has been very fun to write. While LW was listening Never gonna give you up while writing I was listening to a very different song: Discord by Eurobeat Brony. Also did you know that apparently the word fandom is actually short for fanatic domain? I'm just gonna put this out there while we are on the subject of Coeur Al' Aran, my personal favorite of his stories is 'Not This Time Fate'.