Tumblr request: "Those fics are great. Now I'm dying to read a fic where CHARMING is the one that catches them. (poor killian) haha"
Two people requested this so here goes!
Rating: Starts with K…ends with M. This is probably the dirtiest thing I've ever written…also happens to be my first time writing it so pleeeeease be gentle.
The town of Storybrooke didn't get a chance to breathe after the Snow Queen's end before they were dealing with the next big bad villain that decided the town must suffer/pay for whatever it did to them (yeah, get in line, buddy). In the past, Emma used to cry to the heavens and groan in a very unladylike fashion because she couldn't get one day, one day, where her only problem was what choice of dessert she wanted to buy for dinner with her entire family. She pictured her mother scrambling through the kitchen trying to get everything ready as she walked through that door, Killian carrying the dessert they both decided on buying together (not apple-pie, she guaranteed that) with that shit-eating grin on his face behind her, stopping to catch Regina, reluctantly, Regina would say, if asked why she accepted the invitation, and David, licking his fingers after dipping in his wife's home-made sauce and getting his hand slapped away, helping to set up the table. Henry would walk out of his room after finishing his homework, much to the prodding of his brunette mother, and heading straight to Killian for the dessert. Snow would beat him to it and yank the dessert from Killian's hand and shake her finger at Henry, not before dinner. Killian would smile sympathetically at Henry as the kid would sag his shoulders in defeat. And then they'd sit around the table and talk about their days as if the world wasn't made up of fairies and wizards and magic, and they were all living normal lives and having normal jobs.
But that wasn't the reality, not right now. Instead, Emma was spending her dinner at the station with her father and boyfriend searching through books, provided by the resourceful Belle, to learn more about this big baddie that just had to insist on attacking right after the previous one. Do they just get together and schedule these things? Emma mused, and then shook out of her stupor when David and Killian walked into the station with the Italian take-out; Emma wanted Chinese (understatement, more like intensely craved but what could she do? It was that time), but was outnumbered by her father and her traitor of a boyfriend.
As soon as they laid the bags on the table Emma stood to move the books to one side. She looked through one of the take-out bags, pasta - probably her dad's, and the other, which gave off a not-so-Italian aroma. Wait, Chinese?
She threw the two of them a confused look. David lifted his arms in a motion of "don't look at me" and pointed to Killian as he did that bashful ear-scratch move that Emma found incredibly endearing.
"I figured you worked hard enough this year to earn at least the food of your choice," he explained, and if her father hadn't been standing there she would've grasped his cheeks in a smothering manner and made a meal out of his tongue, that or cried with tears of joy (she really, really craved Chinese).
In all seriousness, Emma was truly touched and she made sure to let him know (she was really going for the whole walls-down/full trust thing). "Thank you." She gasped, "And you bought those dumplings that I like!" Ah, screw it, she grabbed his face and kissed him anyway, not pulling away until her father cleared his throat, Killian blushing and letting out a very pleased breath soon thereafter (and making sure to avoid looking David in the eye).
They sat down and Emma took a moment to run her fingers down Killian's thigh under the table, causing him to make a start. That was gonna bruise. Emma then distracted David's questioning gaze to start the conversation by filling the two in on what she found thus far, which was next-to-nothing, and the rest of the conversation was covered by very welcomed topics of mundane things, like "your mother forgot to buy that washing powder with that lemony smell" and "I have to wear two socks to keep my feet from going numb, I never liked the blasted cold anyway". It was moments like these where she really appreciated her life in Storybrooke and almost thankful, almost, about the constant attacks on the town, because these moments wouldn't have been as precious and special. Consciously, Emma realised she was finally enjoying the quiet moments, something that the two gentlemen before her reminded her to do every day.
"-tomorrow night?"
Emma shook her head to come back to the conversation. "Sorry, Dad, what was that?"
"I asked if you and Hook would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night." He chuckled, "Your mother wants to show off her new cooking recipe."
They all scrunched their faces. That only meant one thing - they were gonna be the test subjects. And anyone who had ever tried Snow White's experimental recipes would know to eat beforehand while practising their acting skills.
"What is it this time?" Killian dared to ask.
"Lasagne," David said.
Emma hummed. "That doesn't sound too bad."
"With liver."
"Oh," Killian and Emma said simultaneously. This could go either way - it could be bad (tolerable), or it could be really bad, as in oh-no-I'm-suddenly-coming-down-with-something-best-to-have-chicken-soup-instead bad; must be that time of year, they would explain to her, and luckily Snow had made enough chicken soup by now to be an expert at it.
"Oh, damn it," David exclaimed the next instant.
"What?" Emma said, mirroring her boyfriend's alarm.
David, searching through his take-out bag, said, "They forgot the lemon tartufo." He stood up, missing Killian's very confused "The what?!" in the background, and waved at them with an "I'll be back", taking off before either of them had a chance to respond.
Once David was nowhere in sight Killian turned to face his girlfriend. "You," he said, playfully poking her nose.
"Me?" Emma replied, innocently.
"Are a bloody siren, you are."
Emma shrugged, pretending she hadn't been playing footsie with him the entire meal. "Whatever do you mean?"
"You're lucky your father didn't catch on. If we were back in the Enchanted Forest he would've literally have my head."
"Didn't peg you for someone with a yellow streak," she said, suddenly feeling like she was pursuing an exciting, illicit courtship, and almost laughed at how fast Killian sat back with an insulted look on his face.
"I'll have you know, Swan, that I was the notorious Terror of the Sea amongst my seafaring days."
Emma furrowed her eyebrows, a teasing smirk befalling her lips. "Isn't that Blackbeard?"
If possible, he looked even more offended. "Those stories also suggest I have a pern. Not everything you read holds the full truth to its tales."
"It's perm. And if you are as fearless as you claim you are," Emma leaned closer until their lips were almost touching, "why don't you prove it, Captain?" she challenged, biting her lip in a daring manner.
Hook's eyebrows raised, his eyes glancing at the clock above on the wall and mentally counting the amount of time they had left before David walked in on them. Not long…which meant he had to make it worth her while.
It happened so fast. One minute they were facing each other off, not too dissimilar to a Western standoff, and the next their lips crashed together in a fiercely blaze. Hook had met her challenge with equal force. Hands were rushing, cheeks were burning, eyes were darkening, breaths were shortening, and it was almost unbearable. In the midst of it all Emma's hand found an area that made her boyfriend almost begging for mercy. In the few seconds Killian managed to conjure up a thought or two he realised that it was Emma who planned to make it worth his while. And the way she gripped at him, causing his hips to buckle upwards, confirmed that.
"We're going…to get caught," Killian said between the kissing.
"Where's your…sense of…thrill?" Emma impatiently went for his belt, unbuttoned his dark trousers and zipped him down. She slid her palm slowly, but effectively, if his pleasured hiss had to say anything about it, down the rigid shape of erection, until she reached the end and then gripped it upwards, continuing her hand movement in a pumping motion.
Emma smiled at Killian's shaky breathing. She learned that she loved seeing him like this. All openly-expressive and letting go. Once she watched him throw his head back she took it as a sign to take the next step. Pushing her chair slightly backwards Emma slid under the table to only be visibly to Hook's downward gaze.
Killian exhaled deeply as he anticipated for the next part, his heart hammering in his chest. She took him in almost instantly. Her lips were hot with fervour, her tongue meeting it with drive. She took her time, as if she was getting payback for his own doing to her, and he could only part his lips and groan with immense approval as he met her eyes downward just briefly. He then closed his eyes and laid his head back, encouraging Emma to keep going, keep going, because this just felt so bloody good.
"-damn teenagers and their moody fits."
Killian abruptly raised his head at the sound of David's voice entering the vicinity. He quickly looked down at Emma, seeing a slight flash of panic in her eyes but she was still not stopping, and back up to where he saw the man place a white carton of his presumably tartufo on the desk.
"How hard is it to get decent customer service around here? I even had the stupid receipt. What were they gonna do? Rob the sheriff?" It was then David noticed a certain absence. "Hey, where's Emma?" he casually asked, as if she wasn't sucking off her boyfriend dry below him.
"I..u-urrmm…" He couldn't stop shaking in his breaths, but he managed to seethe, "Bathroom! Sh-she's in the-" he held his tongue, because if he hadn't he wouldn't have been able to hold back from letting out an embarrassingly rowdy moan, having to swallow it down instead.
"Oh, okay." Damn the man, he had the worst timing. "Guess we should just continue until she gets back."
Hook's eyes widened as Emma suddenly hastened her pace. The minx was going to go through with it all.
"H-hey, you wan-" he swallowed again, "-wanna check the books…at the back in case we miSSED-" he saw David recoil in surprise.
"You alright there?" David asked, with an undertone of actual concern in his voice while he opened his carton to reveal a rather delicious-(Killian inwardly groaned, not the right words to use right now)-looking dessert.
Hook had to close his eyes because he could no longer face the man. He gripped the table till his knuckles turned white and in one, quick exclamation, he slurred, "Gochecktheback!"
David blinked and warily placed his utensil down. "O-kay." David stood and headed to the office, giving Killian finally a chance to breath. And just in the nick of time, Emma made one final, agonising pull of her lips and Killian gripped a handful of her hair, releasing himself into her mouth with a rather loud cry of "Seven hells!" and an extra vulgar term between his teeth. He sagged in his seat a second later, breathing heavily.
Emma snickered, wiping the corner of her lips with her thumb and crawling out from under her kneeling position. She sat beside him and keenly waited for a response.
"That…" Killian started, "…was a very dangerous game."
"Yes, but did we get caught?"
He raised his eyebrow. "When I said I found myself inevitably courting danger whenever I'm with you, I didn't realise it would apply to all aspects of our relationship."
"Is that a complaint?" Emma met his raised eyebrow with hers, knowing full well what the answer was.
Killian exhaled with a mixture of a sigh and laugh. "How you would say it in this realm, no way," he said as he buttoned himself up and did his belt.
Emma laughed and momentarily turned her head to the clock. She then did a second-take and her expression dropped when she took notice of a device next to it. "Oh shit…"
Hook turned to her, taking in her worried expression. "What?"
She pointed upwards and Killian found himself staring at-
Oh.
'Oh shit' was right.
Killian's heart started pacing once more, and this time not because of Emma's enticing tongue, but of fear. He may still be adjusting to his new home but even he knew what Emma was point at – a camera, a camera that had just recorded everything. And it was at the back, which meant if David walked in a certain point he may have made it in time to see-
"HOOK!"
xXx
The next few days consisted of Killian snagging secret kisses from his entertained girlfriend and making sure to avoid David's explosively angry eyes and very monstrous-looking truck. Needless to say, he became an expert in the game of cat-and-mouse.
A/N: Don't forget to leave a review. Which reminds me, shoutout to the lovely TheSilentPrincess for always leaving me such encouraging reviews.
Post-Edit: I can't take anymore requests for the time being, but when I do get the chance please ask me on tumblr.